Women don't like assholes specifically, but men at the top

It's not that women prefer misogynistic or violent jerks, but humans created a world where the ones at the top are way more likely to be ruthless assholes.

It's more of a capitalism thing than a female nature thing. If humans created a widescale economy and social structure where empathetic, kind people who promoted egalitarian values naturally gained the most status and respect, women would have no problem dating those men for protection.

Evidence of this is some of the few societies left that are matrilineal and matrilocal and allow men to have positions of power. Those men don't gain status from being assholes. They gain it from inheriting power from their mothers and being cooperative. Not cooperating threatens the survival of a small horticultural clan.

So women have no reason to choose assholes if they want status and protection in some cultures. They mate with the men despite them not being assholes. That's not to say all the cultures are like this, but I'm just giving an example.