Why We Avoid 50/50 "Men." | FemaleDatingStrategy

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[–]HolaHulaHolaFDS Newbie158 points159 points160 points 5 years ago* (43 children) | Copy Link

I have a lady co-worker with this issue. Every month, her husband adds up the monthly bills (mortgage, food, utilities, etc...) and hands her a bill for exactly 50% of everything. This guy is a banker and makes bank, while his wife has to work 2 and 3 jobs just to cover her 50%. When she got pregnant, she had to save up for her maternity leave, because he expected her to cover 50% of the bills even while on maternity leave with his child. She still has to cook and clean when she gets home from work at night, too.

I say nothing to her, because she married this guy and it's none of my business. She tells me I'm so lucky to have a husband that pays 100% of the bills with a smile and helps with the housework. No, it's not luck. It's called being choosy with who you decide to marry. It's called having standards and refusing to settle.

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I didn't know what to say when she told me this. But the look on my face to her...she understood. And she is still married to this miser. The things she told me...he lent her his credit card, sent her into Macys or some other place, told her to pick out a wedding ring and don't spend a lot of money. She spent $300 and that was his limit for her.

My wedding ring alone was $1400 when he bought it back in the day, and I picked out the stones (D and E diamonds) and setting, and they assembled it in front of us.

She buys all her own jewelry, too. She has lovely costume jewelry. Nothing real though 🙁

I did ask her why she was with him, why she married him knowing how he was. I never really got a straight answer from her. I'm assuming she married him because she felt he was the best she could find. Maybe he didn't turn into a 50/50 type until after he wed and bed her. The guy is a banker, and certain types of women are drawn to that. I just don't know why. The sheer stinginess would be enough for me to run for the hills on the first date.

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[–]HolaHulaHolaFDS Newbie63 points64 points65 points 5 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link

I know another woman in an even worse situation, where her husband is a hedge fund manager and makes A LOT of money. We're talking top 6 figures/year. He has a secret girlfriend in every city. When he wants to see one of them, he flies out and tells the wife he's out on business, and doesn't tell her where he is flying to. He pays only the mortgage and utilities. Every child expense is 100% on her. That means education, sports, dance lessons, food, kids clothing, etc..is all on her. He didn't want kids, but she did, so she has to pay all their costs. Forget maternity leave; she's back at work soon after giving birth, because she needs the money. I learned all this from the live-in help they had.

He's a POS. She went from a size 4 to a size 6 after several kids, and this scrote said her ass was fat and shamed her, so she started dieting back to a size 2 or 4.

I feel so sorry for her. Her kids are wonderful. They are kind, respectful and helpful to senior citizens. She raised them well. She's always helping the less fortunate with her time and money. And no, she'll never divorce him, because she's Catholic.

I just don't understand why women put up with this behavior from their men. I will never understand why women just don't up and leave these scumbags.

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Because overall, women are conditioned, are socialized to want marriage and kids. Because, as my sibling said, "It's what yo do!" So may women would rather stay with a bad man in a bad marriage than leave the POS and strike out on their own. It's been drilled into them that they need a man and kids.

I know other women with very good jobs and benefits who support men who refuse to work, instead choosing to live off their wives. These guys do minimal housework and no cooking. One had kids to keep her husband (she didn't want kids at all), and now has to support her kids and a manchild. And every time I asked them why they had kids with these guys, or stay with them, their answer is they're terrified to be alone or don't want to break up their family.

I'd rather live alone than live with a bad man. I'm perfectly capable of entertaining myself, supporting myself and being happy in my own mind. I understand that divorce can be hard, but it's a lot harder to stay in a bad relationship for years and years and accept shitty behavior from some scroty, lazy, miserly manchild who thinks he's entitled to her labor and salary.

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But, divorced older women, at least those in my family, have chosen to live life alone after their marriage ended, and seem very happy doing so. I would definitely choose that life over livibg with an old, grumpy POS.

Right? I know at least 3 forever alone women and they have such a peaceful life and happily taking care of their parents, or do their business, or buy a cozy house. Those who married toxic POS? They are the Karens and toxic, screaming-at-your-face older women who are just soo negative and hateful. I really, really don't get why women willingly submit to this torture just for what, saving face? The society won't care about you, they'll talk shit when you are there but promptly forgot about you once you are out of their sight. It is just foolish to give any weight to their opinions.

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So true. For me, I live by Times Square in NYC (which is super coveted for some reason, I’m not from NY and just like the area because of the subway access) and I live alone with my daughters.

It’s really hard for me to get excited about a man who either lives with roommates or family. Who doesn’t have it together. Who doesn’t have 1k in savings. Who asks me for money until they get paid. No. I just can’t do it. I can’t remember the last time I asked someone for money. It’s been years.....the last time might have been me forgetting my wallet and asking for five bucks at work, which was promptly repaid the next day.

So it’s really hard for me to get excited...trying to deal with men who have never saved 10k, 5k, 3k.....1k....do you have at least 500 in your accounts? 100? Ugh.

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Well I have 6 followers (I assume mad scrotes stalking me online), and I am constantly mass reported. I get SOOOO many dms from scrotes, it's hilarious. Usually they go like "but how are men supposed to do this, then?" and "why won't you date men like me? (short, poor, non-athletic, etc)", or straight out dudes asking me for my info, wanting to chat, dates and ACTUALLY sending me offers. My DMs are the place to be at if you want to have a laugh, I tell you!

This one was extra hilarious, so I decided to share.

For the lil scrote (I know you are going to read, because you are probably one of my anonymous followers LOL): Try harder little scrote. The fact that my city gave me a sports award in a gigantic ceremony (also televised), and my name and face were on the local radio and newspapers everywhere, and that my success brought in sponsors and local financial support for my club, proves people REALLY care about successful women in sport. I am sorry you are not successful enough for people to care about you. Just try harder at life, little one, and maybe one day you will be like me.

[–]MulkvisteeFDS Apprentice4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

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[–]MulkvisteeFDS Apprentice2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

Yeah it was crazy hectic with all the pre professional training, it almost didn't happen more than a few times. I had to audition an embarrassing amount of times for the company I wanted into, so I'll take that bow with a giant smile and a thank you lol!

We've definitely got a mutual admiration thing going on, I love martial arts! Can't do it, but I absolutely feel a kinship with fighters. Not the same thing at all but my mom was a very competitive fencer and I totally wanted to be her when I was little! Being fluent in the language of pain and physical achievement gets respect from me, and it's often beautiful to watch as well! Seeing a fighters personality in how they fight is fascinating too. Naturally the women are more nuanced and real in this, most of the men are doing their fight representative personality like they do in the early days of a relationship 😂 Rose Namajunes though? Chills.

You'd think small dick energy keyboard warrior scrotes would get it though considering the wank training regimen they're on. I'm sure abusing a half mast baby carrot until it dry heaves ghost loads takes massive amounts of effort and discipline rofl. Best of luck to you in your training and fights; sending all of my internet mojo your way for no connective tissue injuries (the woooorst!) and keeping those post training bags of peas cold!

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When I got with my NVM ex my sister didn't approve because she saw him for what he was, but I remember actually telling her something like, "It pleases the cavewoman inside of me to know that he could beat someone up." It definitely is a sort of primal attraction. I was out with him one day and an obnoxious customer I know from work (the type of person who can't take social cues) tried to approach me to talk and my ex shut him down immediately. So many other men would have just sat there awkwardly and allowed this random weirdo to inflict himself upon me.

He's a Rambo type, for anyone who's read Lundy Bancroft's Why Does He Do That? I was attracted to him because I felt safe around him (at first, anyway), but I didn't realize that the fact that he was known as being aggressive is a huge red flag because it pointed to anger problems and lack of self control. Those are super dangerous qualities in conjunction with fighting know-how and a bold, doesn't take any shit personality.

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Title	Why We Avoid 50/50 "Men."
Author	CharTheCatMom
Upvotes	179
Comments	115
Date	August 29, 2020 10:50 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/iiqgmi/why_we_avoid_5050_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-we-avoid-5050-men.170187 https://theredarchive.com/post/170187

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