I'll try to keep this short. 40 years old. Married 11 years. 1 child (15). Met my wife at work. I was her supervisor and she was a young single mom with a 2-year-old. Dated, eventually married and I adopted her child. Found out later when we tried to have kids of our own, that she couldn't have kids (I could). Spent thousands on infertility treatments.
I support her 100% financially and always have. Our marriage was good or great most of the time. No cheating. Mutual respect. Good sex life. 2 years ago, I got fired from my longtime lucrative job. Spent over a year looking for a new job which wrecked my confidence, savings, and self-esteem. I went into a deep depression. This was pre-RP so like a fool I was expecting emotional support, comfort, and sympathy from my wife during what was then the most difficult period of my life, which of course I didn't get. I became bitter at life and at her for her indifference to my pain. I swung hard beta...started drinking daily, getting fat, feeling sorry for myself, etc. Predictably, my marriage went south in a hurry. I won't bore you with the details, you've all heard them a thousand times before.
I ultimately found a new job and then discovered RP about 2 months ago. Stopped drinking, started to eat correctly, lift, STFU, and sidebar with a hard emphasis on maintaining frame (my weak area). Predictably, my marriage got better in a hurry. This last weekend we went out of town and I fucked her 4 times including anal. That kind of shit hasn't happened since we were dating. She was submissive, respectful, and following my lead. She was treating me better than she had in years, and I was happier than I've been in years.
Then 2 days ago....Monday morning....I get a phone call. It was a friend who said he heard my wife fucked our neighbor last summer, but it was just rumor so don't take it too seriously. Without RP knowledge that's probably exactly what I would have done....dismissed it as a silly impossible rumor and nothing else. But instead, armed with the knowledge of the true nature of females, I was almost certain it was true - given the beta bitch drunk captain I was during the time frame this allegedly occurred. So I walked over to his house, knocked on his door, and straight up asked him...."Did you fuck my wife?". After a lot of denial and going round and round he eventually admitted he knew she had cheated on me, but wouldn't directly admit to fucking her or give any details beyond that.
When my wife got home I confronted her about it. She initially denied it. Then she admitted it happened once when she was shit-faced drunk and barely remembers it. The she ultimately admitted it happened 3-4 times over the course of about a month last July...always while she was shit faced drunk at one of his parties. (this guy throws a weekend garage party almost every weekend in the summer). She said it was stupid, quick, terrible drunk sex and they both said "this is stupid we can't be doing this" and cut it off at the end of July.
She was crying and apologizing over and over and begging me to give her a second chance. She swore she's never done anything like that before, that we were just having so many problems in our marriage she was certain it was heading for divorce anyway, and that I was absent (which I was) and he made her feel hot and wanted and it was just a rush for her. Of course she then talked about how good things have been recently and she just wants this second chance and that we could come out of this with a better stronger relationship than ever. I didn't get emotional. I didn't engage in any of this baiting conversation. I simply told her I will let her know in a day or two how I intend to proceed from here.
Pretty simple question....what the fuck do I do? I do love her and I absolutely love my daughter. We were well on our way to the kind of marriage I've always wanted prior to this information coming to light so I could easily see being happy with her presuming I can get the images out of my mind of my neighbor fucking her brains out.
The seemingly obvious RP answer would be to hard next her. That's fine, but how does that fit into the context of owning my own shit? At the time the cheating happened I was ubber-drunk captain and mega beta. I might as well of put his dick in her for him. There's also the reality of hard nexting a wife of 11 years versus hard-nexting a plate. We live in a no-fault state. I have to give her half my assets and income because she fucked the neighbor? Also, our only-child daughter is a perfect 4.0 student, awesome athlete, never been in trouble, just an overall great kid. Her mom and I are her only family. Divorce would lay waste to her entire world. The statistics on the effect of divorce on children are widely available and irrefutable. It fucks them up.
I can stay, continue to work my RP plan, keep my finances intact, not upend my kid's world, and likely have a good marriage - with someone I will always know cheated on me. OR I could leave, wreck my finances and my kid's stability, but keep my dignity and self-respect intact that I didn't stay married to a cheating whore. Being new to RP, my SMV and game is still weak as fuck for the single scene.
Either option looks like absolute shit to me.