This thread made me realize how much I have been groomed. I remember this man called «Batmanforever» that wanted to meet me when I was 13 years old. He told me he was 25. Its heartbreaking to read.

_tinyimp · 2020-09-09T16:36:54+00:00

It’s sickening how this happens in every corner of the Internet including ANIMAL CROSSING. Proof predators know exactly what they’re doing when they target children’s games or platforms where others are unsuspecting, bc who the FUCK looks for sex on clash of clans right? And all of these scrotes are pornsick pedophiles. I’m tired of people defending porn instead of talking about actual issues like adult men grooming children. Porn ACTIVELY promotes pedophilia and grooming in the industry.

LevelTurbulent · 2020-09-09T17:22:31+00:00

That's so sad. I had a friend who told a story at a bbq about "being introduced" to BDSM at 14 by an adult man. I was horrified and called out abuse.

And I was promptly condemned for kink shaming. Turns out a bunch of people at that bbq were a part of the BDSM "community" that allowed and encouraged her rape at the hands of pedophiles. An entire community of degenerate scum. I have nothing to do with any of those people anymore.

Hipster-Aurora · 2020-09-09T17:16:24+00:00

I think gen z girls have men being much bolder about their predatory, creepy behavior. But for millennials, men were subtler but also... nobody cared. Women and girls get a lot of support now and creep shaming is a pretty fun pastime. But then? Pervs and groomers weren't really something people worried about. Porn was considered normal, although it was less hardcore than it is now. If teen girls didn't like the hateful insults from guys, they should stop being such attention wh0res, get off the computer and go read Twilight if they're too sensitive for it. Men and teen boys flip flopped between white knighting and being generally awful to us due to how prevalent the manosphere was then (yeah, it's bad now, but we had zero spaces like tumblr and fds to go to for support. Also, 4chan was huge then and it helped spawn incels). Adult women didn't care for the most part either. Pick-me culture reigned supreme online, since sucking up to men was the only way you could hope to make them not harass and stalk you.

I wish someone had looked out for us. Slowly calling out pedos got better when more women got involved but mostly the internet was a boy's club for years. Even gay men were super misogynistic. One I'll never forget absolutely hated teenage girls (I guess because he flirted with the boys and didn't like the competition) and spread lies about ME spreading rumors that the middle aged guy who tried to groom and harass me was a pedophile. (Which he objectively was and the whole forum we were at knew it; there was even a rumor the middle aged guy was very defensive about, that he had molested his daughter.)

I hope the newer generation has the strength and resources to knock these pedos out of these spaces and it seems like they're already getting good at it.

gabz_C · 2020-09-09T16:24:30+00:00

Tumblr introduced it to me too. Kik is still associated with shady conversations for me. I wish I'd never downloaded 9chat back then.

You live and you learn I guess, hopefully the next generation will learn from mine.

cherrypepsilvr · 2020-09-09T18:47:58+00:00

Urrghh. When I was 13, I got into a "friendship" with a 35 year old man online. We talked every day for nearly three years, and surprise surprise he was massively emotionally abusive. The crazy thing was, my parents knew about it and told me to stop complaining about him. The sexism in my seemingly lovely middle class suburban household was bizarre. 13 year old girl should shut up and deal with middle aged narcissist raging at her, it's her job to be nice afterall.

HexyHag · 2020-09-09T17:23:28+00:00

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manisfestationqueen · 2020-09-09T19:08:45+00:00

Yes when I was 15 a man online groomed me to send him pictures, would call me and text me extremely sexual things. Then I found a bf who was 19, he got into my email and saw all these pictures. He printed them and put them all over his room, I was made to be the bad guy. I felt so ashamed by these two grown scrotes. Looking back at it now, it never occurred to me I was the victim, yet these men took advantage of me, and my bf at the time victimized himself, instead of being there for me. I'm so glad I grew up to be outspoken, and men sense this energy because they let me be. I feel for the young girls who were in a similar situation to mine.

rinabean · 2020-09-09T17:04:46+00:00

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CarmelPeach · 2020-09-09T18:33:46+00:00

I’m so worried about this for my future children but I don’t want to be a helicopter mom

sjefsiljuuus · 2020-09-09T16:18:54+00:00

The link to the whole thread is here if anyone wants to check it out;

https://twitter.com/terfalicious/status/1299863533182689280?s=21

2020-09-09T20:13:47+00:00

Reading this is just heart breaking. I am convinced EVERY woman has endured sexual abuse/assault in any form in her life. And I feel like many men are fucking disgusting predators and paedophiles. This is so gross and sad.

2020-09-09T18:24:04+00:00

When I was 30 I found my same age FWB's reddit account where he was talking to a 19yr old girl on gone wild. I also found out he had a kik account. I feel like I'm almost blocking this out but now I wonder if he was exactly the type of predator I talked to when I was a kid.

gutsandgorey · 2020-09-09T18:38:55+00:00

I was groomed on DeviantArt in middle school. He pretended to be 14 and wanted to be my boyfriend. Growing up ugly and being bullied by my male peers I was walking on air! A boy liked me! He asked me for nudes but I was too shy to send them (thank god). Later found out he was pretending to be other girls boyfriend and we got together and confronted him. I wish I saved the chats so I could report him...

Also I posted a picture of my new haircut (I looked like a middle schooler so no plausible deniablity) and a man messaged me asking to paint me. I was excited because I loved art...then he asked if I was comfortable being nude... wish I saved that too.

Happypengy · 2020-09-09T20:53:30+00:00

I was 9 years old the first time I had q sexual comment directed at me. And he knew I was 9.

Fucker.

rebel4acause · 2020-09-09T19:00:47+00:00

I was 12 in 2010-11 when Omegle was just becoming a thing and it was a weekly activity for my friends and I. We would have a sleepover nearly every weekend and go on there. Back then about 90% of people were fully-clothed, normal human beings. But the other 10% were creepy old men or guys jacking off. We would flip them off and make fun of them. We would lie and say we were 14, and not ONE man (probably out of like a hundred) stopped talking to us. In fact, they liked that we were so young.

None of us ever went there alone, we gave them fake names, cities, ages etc. We knew they were creepy pedophiles, but we found it entertaining and ravelled in the attention. Obviously looking back, I cringe and am mortified. I know for me and my friends, we struggled with our self-esteems at that age, and it was just nice being called cute, hot, and just feeling desired.

It scares me thinking someone could have gotten one of our IP address, found out our identity and blackmailed us, or driven to see us. It's terrifying how easy it is to find someone's location. Or even just filmed us reacting to him jack off and put it on a porn site. You don't think about these things when you're a kid. You just think about all of the attention you're getting and talking to older guys, who know more about sex and stuff, seems exciting.

Luckily, there was no kink talk except for one man (probably in his 20s) asked "dom or sub" and none of us had any idea what that meant. I did not know what BDSM was until 2012 when the Fifty Shades of Grey book became popular. My reaction was "wtf is this? ew." I'm forever thankful for that, because to this day, I find any sort of violence during sex revolting.

What worries me today is TikTok. There are so many young girls on there talking about how they want to be called whores, choked, slapped and degraded during sex. They're all like 14-17. It's disturbing. It's like "tRenDy" now for teenagers to do that. There's a lot of pressure not to be "vanilla."

VrHastaLaMuerteBaby · 2020-09-09T20:06:08+00:00

I haven't thought much about what happened, and only recently realized that I had been heavily groomed by a 34yo man when I was 16 and how fucked up it is.

On a fucking gaming platform. They just need to turn every single online space into Tinder and PornHub. Worst of all, my misogynistic family knew it and not only did they not lift a finger about what was happening, they were cool with it and even insinuated our future marriage. They probably wanted to get rid of me asap or something, I guess?

Edit to add: oh yeah he was very religious too.

Thankfully we never met IRL, he's married now and has children, and I promised to myself that I'll let them now that their father is a groomer. I've also toyed with the idea of messaging the university he works at, but I've deleted the accounts I used, although I still got the video recording of the convo we had. Tbh I find it all so tiresome.

JesusisKingisLord · 2020-09-10T02:46:42+00:00

Oh my goodness. I didn't even recognize that I've had these experiences until reading this thread. Wow. I wasn't underage, but I was pre-20 and definitely chatting with men on sites like Omegle, 'sharing myself' with them.

jayohday · 2020-09-10T03:39:48+00:00

AIM chat rooms were it for me. I was bored and by myself in the summer so I just wandered in there. My dad once somehow found a log, and shamed me for it; yelled at me for it. It’s a relief to know it wasn’t just me.

2020-09-09T20:51:33+00:00

“@terfalicious” lol I gotta go follow her, she’s freaking brave

CarmelPeach · 2020-09-09T18:33:15+00:00

At least mine was willing to pay for all my cosmetic surgeries lmao then I was going to dip out. But I blocked him a long time ago

pakkyun · 2020-09-09T22:20:30+00:00

I got groomed by a guy I met in A MENTAL HEALTH SUPPORT GROUP on reddit. I've been so scared after going no contact in July that he would be lurking there again to try to find another vulnerable girl. Hopefully he is burning in hell instead :)

Youdidntfindthis · 2020-09-09T22:55:44+00:00

For real though I’m currently a minor (I won’t say my age though) but there are still lots of creeps

BiscuitWoof · 2020-09-10T09:21:18+00:00

I remember some girls at my high school (minors, around 13/14) used to go on omegele on sleepovers. Of course random men would message them and be creepy. The girls would then post photos and screenshots from their sleepover on Facebook. The girls didn’t post the photos to shame these creeps. They did it because they were the cool girls. I remember being jealous and wishing my parents would let me go to sleepovers and be on cool websites like Omegle.

It’s because men groomed girls from the beginning of time by making it seem cool when men were interested in you, particularly older men. When they ain’t worth shit!

TheTower_14 · 2020-09-10T11:34:47+00:00

It hurts I blamed myself for dealing with that shit. A guy who was 26 years old told me send him nudes because it was just "pictures". I was 14 with low self esteem. My idiotic self did it because I wanted attention. I did this with more than one older guy as a teenager too. I still feel ashamed of myself for it till this day :(

sjefsiljuuus · 2020-09-10T12:27:04+00:00

OP here. I have read every single comment here, and its heartbreaking to see how so many have experienced this, and for some to first realize they have been groomed after reading this post. I want to tell every single one here that it was never your fault, you never asked for it, you didnt do anything wrong, most of you were children that didnt knew how evil some can be.

During most of my childhood, I have experienced grooming. In real life and online. It started first when I was 10 years old, and I got my own pc. It wasnt any smartphones at that time, so sharing pictures didnt happened. However, since I had experienced CSA and lived in a abusive home with my mother and all her boyfriends, I didnt feel loved and cared for. I was also bullied a lot in school, more alone and lonely. When the CSA happened, my mother lived with the abuser and didnt do anything to stop him. She knew what happened, but she was too concerned with her reputation, and blamed another innocent man. He didnt get charged luckily, since he was innocent. However, the man that did the CSA, he is still free and hasnt faced any consequenses for his actions. Therefore, attention from strangers made me feel special and that I had some kind of worth and value.

Eventually, I got smartphone, I got the app Kik. Didnt take long until I got videos and pictures from grown up men when I was 13 -14 years old. Naive and young as I was, I had posted my kik name on instagram with all those hashtags, unaware of the danger. Some just sent pictures, but most of them took the time to actually groom me, made me trust them, told me I was special, cute and that I deserved better and few actually told me they loved me. I gained their trust, and then the questions of pictures came. I sent, I just wanted to feel loved and special. I dont know how many I have sent pictures to. I did it for 2 - 3 years until I stopped. I am scared that some pictures may be on porn sites etc, I have never dared to look, and I have kinda never told anyone. My boyfriend dont know this. I have told my therapist, since its bothering me a lot.

The man I mentioned in the title, BatmanForever, was a special one. We talked for months, he was very clever. He asked me questions like "If someone knew we talked, what would you tell your parents? since you are 13 and I am 25, they would wonder. But you know we are friends, right? That is what I would tell people, that you are my friend that I met earlier at a camp". He knew a lot since he didnt start the sextalk until months after, I wondered sometimes if he was a pedophile or if he truly was a genuine man that just cared. He was my secret for months. I never sent him pictures, he never asked me. However, he wanted to videochat on skype a lot, but I told him no since I was scared my mother would figure it out, and I wanted to be alone to talk to him. He also told me that since I was scared of my mother, it was best for me and him to videochat when I was alone in the house. He started to figure out where I lived, and told me he could check in to a hotel, so we could meet. He figured out that I was living close to a city, but never excatly where I lived. Then out of the blue, he sent a dick pic. I cried and was so scared, I gor afraid for him and that he would find me and harm me. I blocked him, but lived with the fear of him finding me for years.

Omegle was something else as well. I was most on the chat, and men would always talk to me and tell their kinks, which was more BDSM ish and how it was all normal. I remember 10 years ago, anal sex was barley a thing - now porn consideres it vanilla. I feel concerned for thhe younger generation today, and believe a lot of adults - especially women, have repressed memories om getting groomed. It seems so common, that I get surprised if someone tells me they havent experienced it. Thats not how it should be.

One time, I was waiting on the bus home. I was 14. An old man approach me, started to talk to me. I was freaked out, but tried to keep myself calm. Then he asked me for my age. I told him I was 14, then he stepped back and said " I think I should stop talking to you. Things would have been different if you were 16. You looked older than 14". The age 16 is the legal age of consent here.

Then, when I was 16 - 17, my dad told me he had been on chat forums to learn more about internet and how dangerous it was. He found a pic of a random girl on google, told he was 14. He told me he was so disgusted by all the messages he got, and was horrified of how normal it seemed for those men to do those things. He did this to be able to talk to me about internet and how to stay safe. He then asked me if I had experienced it, I said yes. He was horrified and asked why I never told someone. I said it was because I felt ashamed and blamed myself for it. I didnt tell him I sent pictures tho - was too ashamed to do that. He assured me I had no wrong for having those disgusting men talking to me, sending me pics and sext me. He told me it was hard to see how evil men especially can be towards young children, and he as a man himself got disgusted that he had the same gender as them.

I am glad to have posted this, and people have felt safe to share their experiences and to tell their stories. Its important to talk about it. This is one of the examples of how dangerous porn is and how much it has influenced people. How many men that are pornsick, and a danger for people - especially women and children. However, I think we are more educated today than before, and are more able to keep our children safe. It still happens tho, and its better to check up on the kids one time too much than too little. Talk early to the kids about dangers about internet, chats and that they can tell us if they have experienced something uncomfortable, evil and dangerous that has scared them and makes them afraid.

I am glad FDS is here, we definetly needed it back then, but the most important thing is that we have it now and we are more able to stand up for ourself. I am glad to have found this sub, the one sub ONLY for women. It makes me feel safe.

KevlarSweetheart · 2020-09-11T13:22:32+00:00

Yeeaahh as an adult woman its horrifying thinking back on this stuff. I used to be in awe in highschool when my friends dated older men but now that I realize it, we were 15 and 16 and 25+ year old creeps were messing around with us. Its sad.

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