Raising the quality of your life and developing the swagger of a Bad Boy persona can do wonders for game... As a married dude, I was surprised to find how effective this shit can still be.
With her dual sexual strategy, she's either looking for Alpha Lover or Provider Guy. What sets these categories distinctly apart are the way you make her feel. What do you portray and offer - thrills or security?
Alpha Lover offers the Desire Path by giving her a sense of danger, excitement and adventure. Provider Guy offers the Love Path by giving her comfort and protection.
You can trigger her Desire Path by displaying Bad Boy traits. That's what she looks for when shit testing... to see if you're a badass or a wuss. She also wants to see if you value your freedom, and consider your SMV higher than hers.
12 Irresistible Bad Boy Traits Women Crave:
1. Confidence - cocky to the point of brazen (versus meek uncertainty and insecurity).
2. Directness and Decisiveness - say what's on your mind and clarity about what you want (versus waffling and meekly tiptoeing around).
3. Dominance - command respect with social, intellectual, emotional and physical power (versus putting her on a pedestal and acting subservient).
4. Indifference - remain aloof, less reactive and not concerned about what others say and think (versus being an overly-attentive "try-hard").
5. Entitlement - feel unconstrained to take/demand what you want (versus feeling unworthy).
6. Exciting - take risks, seek adventure and lead a more interesting life (versus seeking comfort and security).
7. Freedom and Selfishness - rebel's attitude, say and do what you want, uninhibited and self-focused (versus conforming and attending to others)
8. Leadership - lead yourself/others to reach goals (versus passiveness and uninspired).
9. Masculine - exude a rugged, controlled mannerism (versus a soft, caring feminine energy).
10. Menacing - disagreeable, dangerous vibe (versus friendly and harmless)
11. Mysterious and Unpredictable - contrasting qualities that stimulate curiosity (versus boring and predictable).
12. Teasing - playfully disrespect her, intentionally ruffling her feathers (provoking her instead of trying to put her at ease).
Bad Boy behavior indicates power and higher status. Acting in an uninhibited, entitled, powerful and dominant manner persuades her to categorize you as a Lover rather than a Provider.
If you smile too much, lavish her with attention and act like a perfect gentlemen, you'll kill the seduction. Why? She craves drama and excitement, not comfort alone. And acting eager and polite is indicative of Beta status. She knows an HV Guy would act far more aloof and indifferent.
In her eyes, that cowboy wearing black is much sexier than the one in white. That bad boy lifestyle is a roller-coaster of excitement, while the steady positive force of the Good Guy is comforting, but dull.
I like this list, short and to the point. I'd say that traits 1-5 are definitely the essential foundation which open the door for the others to exist.
What's funny is these traits are associated with a "bad-boy" persona, when in reality they are the indicators of a self-actualized man. When you start respecting yourself, your needs, your desires, and take control of your life these traits will become a pronounced part of who you are naturally.
Much like being called an "asshole", often used to describe men who don't worship the very ground a woman walks upon. When you give in to societal pressure to put women on pedestals and serve their every whim, you become a beta chump, little more than a tool for them to exploit. When you live for yourself, draw clear boundaries and treat women the same as you would any random man, suddenly you're a "bad boy" or "asshole" - and they love it.
Growing up, I remember being very upset over the fact that women wanted assholes instead of nice guys like me. It didn't make any sense at the time and it frustrated me. Now I see it the "asshole" for who he really is: A man with the self respect to take what he wants out of life without getting caught up in women's nonsense. He doesn't play her games and he sure as hell isn't trying to be whatever he imagines she wants him to be. He's got his own life, he does his own thing and she can either follow him or get the fuck out of the way.
I've been called a "bad boy", "asshole", "misogynist", etc, numerous times over the past few years. I take that as a sign I'm doing something right. "Yeah, I'm a fucking dick, baby. You should stay away from me." Suddenly they want me even more. Funny, that.
I used to be so nice it was hard to watch; my dad had shamed me so much about the idea of being an asshole. For him, anything vaguely asshole-ish or "proud" was bad. He loved shy people because he thought they were humble and good. It took a lot to get that out of me. This comment really struck home.
I don't think people understand the difference between "bad boy" and "asshole". Being a bad boy doesn't mean you have to be an asshole just means you have to be you and you know you are the shit and you don't take any bullshit from anyone. That doesn't mean you have to go tear a girl apart just don't chase after her and make her work for acknowledgement. Tease her but don't destroy her. Being a bad boy is doing what you think is the way its done. One thing my friends give me shit for is being stubborn and i basically tell em to go fuck themselves. Thats a bad boy trait, you don't need acknowledgement from others.
Edit: One thing i don't agree on though is entitlement. I don't think anyone should ever think they are entitled to shit. I think that only leads to disappointment like a college student graduating and thinking they are entitled to a well paying job.
People don't understand the difference between a confident man who sets boundaries and an asshole. That was the point of my response, really. As soon as you stop bending to the will of others, bitches be calling you an asshole.
You won't buy me a drink? Asshole. You're hitting on my friend instead of me? Asshole. So you just do whatever you want? Asshole. You have better things to do on a Saturday than bring your pickup over and help a girl you barely know move? Asshole.
I never recommend men become, you know, actual assholes. I don't neg or put people down. I just do me. Every time I've been called an asshole, it's not because of something I did or said, but rather something I didn't do that someone else wanted me to.
I used to be a "yes man." A people pleaser. I did a lot of things I didn't want to because others wanted me to and I didn't want to upset them. People walked all over me and used me. I hated that about myself, so I changed it. I started saying no.
It feels great to do or not do whatever I desire without giving a fuck about the desires of others.
Oddly enough when I get accused of being misogynist they mean it and and back away.
Or your userna....you know
You are almost certainly coming off as bitter.
I'm beyond bitter. Way beyond.
Assholes are just poor men, men in a poverty of culture as well as status who in their hood state begin to take the freedom of speech seriously, and who are beginning to deal with the risk that might be common to those at higher statuses of ability-to-effect. I say beginning to deal because , unless one gets off on the asshole title or the rush of being contentious, because after a time one should learn to find better receivers of ones words. However being of poverty culturally one doesn't have the knowledge of new people or people different from the company of other poverty-minded people where the "assholes" journey begins. It's really just logic, logistics, cause and a effect and a little quantum physics type theory, you know, "the prophet is never honored in his own home" and now you see why it works out that way.
But recovery makes the free man a slave and the slave a free man.
Edit: if anyone is wise enough to break this down and translate this it would be appreciated.
My take-away guess of a translation would be:
Choosing to walk the path of becoming the better man, the people around you in the beginning will label you an asshole and may grow distasteful of your actions as you develop, the more you'll be consumed by the next ecosystem who will respect you for who you've become.
This effect could be due to living in an ecosystem of betas while you're a beta, and as you begin to work towards becoming the man you realize you should have been your whole life, those betas will become jealous of you/resent you for taking the road they know they should have taken but don't have the guts or just don't realize the errors of their ways. Thus they put you down trying to bring you back down to their place and validate themselves. Is this what you meant by poor men?
Edit: there was a video I can't remember off the top of my head at the moment that explains this, I'll post when I find it in my history
There's a little lost in the translation about class/knowledgeability as well as becoming attatched to the asshole title instead of finding better places to try out/test investing ones time. The temptation to hide in the label of enemy, bad boy, asshole, antagonist in the safety of that instead of maybe exiting that whole paradym into a scary new place of ill definitions. Or maybe definitions that need to be earned instead of defaulted into.
Most of these qualities are not really qualities that I would personally respect or want to personify, much less aspire to. They are the qualities of an asshole(egotistical, inconsiderate, indifferent, anti-intellectual, entitled and intolerable; perhaps even sociopathic). I'm not going to deny that this is the type of shit that most women go after but, really, I don't think it needs to be glorified either. If women want to idealize these qualities, that's their choice, but that doesn't mean that we need to do the same.
I agree that if this was the extent of a guy's repertoire, he's fucked. And if all he does is pose, he's fucked.
My suggestion is be aware. Don't get stuck in the Nice Guy groove or get suckered into playing the cuddle bitch role.
A man values consistency of character. But that can become his prison. Play with your persona, stretch the boundaries. And know that a woman doesn't have the same consideration for character. She just knows if you make her tingle or not.
When I was reading this list I wasn't thinking ''bad boy traits'', I was thinking ''I already do all these things...'' minus maybe 'menacing'.
"Bad boy" is just another phrase for "man who isn't a pushover pussy" in this case, and basically all cases. The thing women hate most is a boring man, or the opposite of these 12 things here.
Nah, menacing means menacing. For example this guy. Women are attracted to dangerous looking men that other men fear and respect. They believe they can fuck their way to his heart.
And that's exactly what Daenerys did!
Yeah, I kind of winced on "menacing".
But you have to think in context. A male that enters a room and is disrepectful to the powers that be (whoever is the pre-existing dominant male or dominant "wolf pack") will be seen as a threat. From the perspective of gaining alliances being the "bad boy punk" is a bad idea, but women are stupid... they like it when there is conflict because it gives them tingles.
Now maybe afterwards the "bad boy punk" gets the crap beaten out of him and decides to be more careful the next time, but the woman will still remember the guy with tingles.
Actually you can seem "menacing" any time you challenge the SMV order... it doesn't even require intentional aggression.
A naturally high SMV male can be perceived as a threat by doing nothing.
I was told by my GF recently that i can be really intense sometimes, and I can, but I don't mean to be. She said I exude "Don't fuck with me or I will fuck you up". And she's said on multiple occasions that I'm "scary". Always explaining immediately she doesn't feel like shes in danger or anything.
So, she's never said it's a good thing. But I like it. I want to be intimidating honestly.
I think menacing can be done right. Women generally want menacing men on their side. Protection, safety etc.
People, and especially women, have few moral qualms with using violence to advance their interests but dislike taking risks themselves. I've witnessed a few street fights first hand, and every time the women in attendance were excited at the violence rather than disgusted.
It depends on whether you are the top 1% "Master of the Universe" CEO type material or the raw animalism of the guy working at the local factory.
For the high level stuff you need Powertalk which is actually a way to resolve power disputes without resorting to outright intimidation and conflict. Alpha's naturally want to associate with other Alpha's so the "wolf pack" requires that the lone wolf types are excluded.
Menacing is ALWAYS attractive to women though.
(even when doing so sabotages your larger goal of social climbing)
I have to disagree with menacing being always attractive. Most girls I know don't want to date some alpha idiot who is looking for fights every time he enters the room. Disagreements, confrontation, etc. is annoying drama that any female who has any maturity wants to avoid.
When I think of menacing, I think of War Machine, that loser MMA fighter. And actually he fits this list to a T, which means its just a list and application is everything. I know plenty of guys who walk softly and carry a big stick. Giving the impression that you are a nice guy but can still kick anyone's ass is better than walking into the room and making it known to everyone.
Women usually love my "menacing" rugged look, i've always sported a beard since i've been 16, and im tall and thick built, and everytime i've been with anyone 18+ (usually underaged chicks didnt like the beard at that age) they loved my "macho" kind of look, and when i started MMA, holy shit, it was even better, they wet themselves. So, you don't have to literally be treating the one who already has power, but just look like you are the Alphaest of the alpha in the room, and thats it.
Women give such a weird response to menacing. They'll be freaked out apologize for slighting you in inconceivably minor ways, then be all cuddly on you.
There's a wrong way and a right way to go about this. Here's an example:
If I meet a man, and he has a plan and a direction and a goal, that's very attractive. If you watch the TV Show "Mad Men", Don Draper has a lot of scenes like this, where someone is pitching a sale and Don just takes the reigns and takes control.
It basically boils down to "this man knows what he wants, he has a plan on how to get it, and he's ready to overcome any obstacles that get in his way."
But there's a wrong way to go about it too. Pete from the show "Mad Men" is a good example of this. Pete has a plan too, but it's often a plan that nobody agrees with. And if Pete doesn't get his way, he'll throw a fit like a little baby.
This is like rule #1 of what not to do.
I just started watching Mad Men. Instant reference!
Going to throw some ice on your comment... Lots of women such as you want a man to be more like Don Draper - swaggering, sociopathic CEO maverick. You describe leadership qualities, but what you really want is the sexy packaging, power and social cache. Male leadership is the fucking patriarchy you despise.
Don Draper's ilk never really existed. Back in the 50's, slick womanizers like him weren't trusted by other guys. CEO's were hard-working choirboys in the mold of Ike Eisenhower.
Here's what a real adman looked like.
I hate to be the one to throw ice on your comment, but clearly you don't know much about the show. For starters, Don Draper is not a CEO, he is the Creative Director. The show takes place in the 60s, not 50s, giant difference in attitudes. The guy you mention would have been at retirement age in the time period that this show takes place, so I hardly see how its applicable.
Finally, I present to you this guy: http://www.chicagomag.com/Chicago-Magazine/August-2009/I-Married-a-Mad-Man/Draper-Daniels-vs-Don-Draper/
its not easy to be a man like Don.. people will be abrasive and want you out. Especially men in a higher position than you. Dons style is risky and will make alot of enemies.
Pete on the other hand, even though nobody agrees with him, is cunning enough to maneuver himself into positions that vastly benefits him. And nobody sees him as a threat gives him the benefit of the doubt. Which he uses to great effect.
Both are alpha in their respective ways. Don is more conventional, Pete is more maverick. I wouldn't easily dismiss his style.
That's why such a man would need to consistently get proven results. Then it would be much harder for the higher-ups to justify squeezing him out.
I'd prefer Pete's way... Don is direct and blunt (which is great) but the amount of disdain he receives would quickly wear me down.
I see a pitfall with 5, entitlement. A man is entitled to the result of the work he's put in, the fruit of his labour. He's not entitled to things he hasn't worked for, or tried to get but made too many mistakes to achieve successfully.
You want to act like the world owes you something, maybe give off that vibe. But the world doesn't owe you shit.
I agree with this. Entitlement may put you in a position where, for example, you're DEMANDING something that a restaurant ran out of because you feel they owe you. In reality, you're just being a douche to the waiter, and that isn't a good look. Not to mention the fact that entitlement goes against TRP idea of being self-made.
Exactly. That's why I see a problem of interpretation. Entitlement attitude can give the bad boy vibe (ex: expect others to respect you to send out the correct vibe vs not expecting respect), but that doesn't mean there's real entitlement here ("the universe owes me women", à la Elliot Rodger). Big difference.
Entitlement has a lot of negative connotation. But the attitude is powerful.
Consider the assumptive close in sales... You basically bypass the buying decision as if the decision was already made. Most people hate making decisions and plans, so they'll simply go along with your plan if the trust you.
The inexperienced salesperson may be a nice guy, but lacks a sense of entitlement to that sale to pull the assumptive close off. Guys who have it stride confidently forward with ease.
Agreed. 5 is a very good point... read Outliers... it's one of the keys to real success. As much as you might hate it, Malcolm Gladwell showed the evidence that entitled kids become more successful than kids growing up in broken, abusive homes that destroy their self-confidence. Feminazis love to complain to people about "checking their privileges"... well fuck them. Be proud of your privileges, because you are entitled to take on the world. You have to believe that you deserve the success and that you deserve the pussy to actually get it. Look at Arnold Schwarzenegger, he knew that he was the shit and he made it clear to the world. Entitlement attitude is the foundation of real confidence.
Now I might have disagreed with this point just a few days ago before I read Outliers... this is what being red pill is all about: learning as much as you can to open your eyes to the truth.
Your post reads like clickbait from Cosmo.
WTF
12 Irresistible Bad Boy Traits Women Crave : what happens next will surprise you
Cosmo:
"Entrapment for fun and profit...or at least a comfortable sinecure through 'relationships' ".
"101 Sex Tips That Will Guarantee A Life of Shopping"
You just won the internet today.
Yes, for the love of god we need to put iron boot on that shit.
What should he have called it?
Subjective question, but I'd have gone with: "manufacturing a bad boy persona"
Yeah, couldn't resist employing a marketing angle on the headline. But hey, made you click.
You're exactly right. Copywriting is a skill, I'd argue a redpill skill. Most people are pulled in by certain words and combinations of words. You did nothing more than prove that a bunch of "redpillers" are just as impressionable as the rest. Kudos.
Writing reddit headlines is hardly a skill. Most of us clicked on this because we were bored.
If you don't think writing headlines is a skill, you're very wrong.
For a newspaper, magazine, major publication, yes, its a skill. For reddit, no.
I clicked because I wanted to make sure I dont have the OPPOSITE of any of the 12 traits.
For those who want to know more about copywriting, check out John Carlton. He's a living legend and definitely RP.
Here are a some quotes from JC...
1) People crave a wicked good tale… and will buy from the dude who tells them one.
2) The business world is STARVED for writers who know how to sell… and always will be... Creating sales messages and ads and websites and video scripts that bring in results is the single most important element of a successful business… and yet, most biz owners haven’t got a clue how to pull it off.
That’s why a good copywriter is so freaking valuable.
3) The vast majority of people sleep-walk through their lives and careers, never going beneath the surface of anything. They process, at most, a small fraction of the information they see, hear or read about.
It’s pretty much GIGO. Garbage in, garbage out.
So the first job of any good marketer is to deliver some level of brain-rattling wake-up call for the prospect. To literally jolt them out of their semi-permanent reverie, and initiate a more conscious state of awareness.
Cuz you can’t expect a somnambulant zombie to be proactive about following through with your request for buying something. Or opting in. Or even just continuing to read.
4) We’re stubborn beasts. As a civilian, you just go enjoy your bad self with your silly notions and absurd assumptions.
However, as a marketer who desires wealth and recognition and lasting success… you cannot rely on the flawed default settings in your brain. If you haven’t been constantly giving yourself vicious Reality Checks over your career, you’re risking being stuck in a non-productive zone where competitors will fly past you, and customers flee.
I, personally, am very hard on myself. Very, very hard.
My transformation into a real professional meant climbing out of a slacker lifestyle where I got away with laziness, unreliability, and a self-destructive refusal to change… into a new person who cleaned up the messes I made, took proactive steps to fix what was broken in my skill set and personality (so I never “vowed” to do better next time, but actually changed so I DID better), took responsibility and put my ass on the line to get things done, and force-fed discipline into my lazy habits. It was tough, but required if I was gonna move up a few stages in my quality of life and self-respect and success.
meh. Made me avoid clicking for 3 days apparently. I bookmarked it & due to the title it kept getting pushed lower and lower until the bookmark folder was empty except for this link.
Facebook link
"12 Irresistible Bad Boy Traits That Will Make Women..."
The problem is, in today's society, it's mostly women who display/exhibit these traits. And they do it because they foolishly think that because THEY find those traits attractive in men, that men will find those traits attractive in women.
Feminism really is the world's biggest shit test.
Amy shumer did a skit parodying this. Setting was a bar and she was drinkin heavy and mowing down tons of crappy food and belching like a lion and dudes in the background were saying shit like "oh look at that, so hot".
Reverse causation, but yeah.
My theory is that I think both sexes do this and its one of the biggest dating mistakes possible. People think "here's what I'm attracted to in the opposite sex, so if I show those traits, members of the opposite sex will also find it attractive in me". This leads to, among other things, women bragging about having lots of sex, and men acting extremely sensitive and passive.
13 . Be in Jail so you can knock up the desperate girls you enticed behind the water cooler.
On the "Bad Boy" trait- I was on a date with a plate recently and I offhandedly mentioned that I got a speeding ticket that week. This sparked something in her and she brought it up a few weeks later about how "bold" I was. This was an eye opener; doing 41 in a 40 zone apparently can increase the chance that you get laid, pathetic as it sounds.
The stories girls make up about you when you maintain a mysterious mien are absolutely ridiculous. I guess the hamster can be an ally too.
That's actually an interesting idea, turning the hamster around for your benefit...
That's what it's there for. It's an amazing tool. The less you tell them, the more their brain has to fill in. And if you act correctly they assume what you're aiming for. "I was out with friends" as a response to where you were or what you were doing is plenty to keep the wheels spinning.
I'd like to point out that by getting married, you severely handicap yourself with #4 and #11 in particular. You're signaling your intent to stay with her no matter what, and you give up a lot of the power to end the relationship if she's not meeting your needs.
BP society tells us that marriage is the ultimate expression of love. Well, too bad most women are fucking sociopaths who will lose attraction to you as soon as you display commitment to them. Marriage used to be a better deal for everyone involved when women couldn't really make their way on their own, but that's no longer true thanks to feminism and now we have this wonderful dynamic of "I can leave you and take half your shit".
In conclusion: don't fucking get married. It's not worth it.
Okay...this shit is starting to look like Cosmo
I'm done with this kind of list which tells me how I should be.
Now I do what I enjoy, I don't let anyone disrespect me, I put myself before everyone else and I respect myself.
I think that those traits are the result of some changes you initiated yourself, not something that one should try to 'get' in the first place.
If you want the short version: Stop doing dumb Beta shit. Do more Alpha-like shit, even though it will feel a little awkward at first.
To a guy lost in a Beta Fog, the list would be indecipherable. To an Alpha dude, meaningless drivel because he's already getting plenty of action.
Now your take is that you improve yourself and this stuff all percolates out naturally. I disagree. I know a lot of successful guys who are anything but bad-ass. They shut that shit down to play the role of the good father/husband in a soul-sucking life of servitude.
You can take the list flippantly. To me it's about protecting/reclaiming a man's balls.
i know semantics is pretty trivial, but i think we should really make an effort to ensure that our post titles resemble a "Cosmopolitan" magazine cover as little as possible. e.g. 10 sizzling moves that are sure to make him scream..
One who puts on the persona of a king will be treated like a king by others
I'm in the minority here and say that feminine and masculine energy don't matter as much as long as you make masculine moves at the right moment. Why do so many pretty boys get girls? They still make masculine moves.
Pretty boys get girls because they are pretty.
Its a stupid notion here that women love cigar smoking ,beardy, very masculine looking men.Some do, but most don't.Especially young girls from 16-25.
Most Women will choose Zac Efron over this sub's fav alpha Don Draper just based on appearance.
Moreover most lead actors have pretty boy looks.
Caveman game needs point 9 a lot.
However it isn't the only solution.
All right! No one wants to be dominated all the time.
If i have sex 5 times a week maybe once it will be rough carnal sex just to vent out the sexual energy., the other 4 times its will be lovemaking.
Relationships should have variety.
the esoteric "energy" we talk about much only matters as long as it leads to action. What saves this concept from being just another case of hamstering is that it usually does.
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You forgot tall, famous, rich. That helps.
Im not sure how 2 and 4 fit together. If youre being indifferent, you cant really be direct/ decisive at the same time.
They are separate and not necessarily related.
Think of it this way, I say what I think, but I don't care what you think.
Ex...
I think the Mets suck. I could care less if you think the don't. That is my opinion and what your opinion on the matter is is of little concern to me. Unless it is of course.
Help?
It's about holding frame. You're direct and decisive about your own shit. But you're aloof/indifferent about her shitty frame. Most guys are too quick to abandon their frame and play Mr. Fix-It for a woman's drama. We want to be helpful.
Indifference is a clear indicator of superior value. Counterintuitive, because a guy wants to immediately show a woman he cares. But in her mind, his value drops 10 points the moment he reveals his feelings for her. And he took away her hamster challenge of winning him over and making him show it.
Does anybody know how to really become more masculine? I hear all the time, but nobody seems to know how, and no, lifting weights doesn't do that much good in my experiencew: theres a lot of bulky docile guys and I also lifted for a year without much results in this area.
Read Way of the Superior Man by David Deida. It's an eye-opener. And you'll be surprised when you start realizing how neutral-to-feminine most men have become.
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A smile always helps though, but it doesn't need to be a shit eating grinn, but a powerful honestly cocky smile.
Making and fixing things is big. Don't hire a handyman, figure it out yourself.
Fuck that. I make good money, I'm paying someone else to crawl under my house and unclog my shitter line.
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If you Google search "Chuck Norris getting his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen.
That because you only lifted for a year, probably not very well. If you had a good program, great diet, and were consistent for a full year, you wouldn't be "without much results"
If you weren't part of an organized sport in school, you probably don't have any clue how to lift properly.
Starting Strength by Rippetoe is a good book to start with, but in all honesty, if you are genuinely new to lifting, you should hire a personal trainer and BE HONEST ABOUT YOUR GOALS. Don't tell them you want to be beastly strong, and then bitch that you don't look like a male model.
The personal trainers I came across tended to be less knowledgeable then people here. They're targeting the fat moms market, how to coax those to do a bit of cardio. Proper strength trainers seem to be rare in commercial gyms.
If someone had decided on hiring a personal trainer, I'd advise them to look at each prospective PT's body. If it's a body type that they'd like to emulate themselves, then it's probably useful to hire them.
But anyway, it makes me laugh sometimes. I'm a professional athlete and a few of my school friends have put on a couple of stone each, so they each hired a PT and regularly brag about how tough their workouts are, but they've not made any significant results in months.
Fat is an attitude, specifically fat = lazy. Throwing money at a PT will not help that, but taking responsibility for one's own body and actually doing their own research on what does/doesn't work and (most importantly) going out and actually trying it out for themselves will.
I was assuming a basic level of fitness, but if anyone has a near-zero activity level, doing a couple sets of as many pushups as you can manage every day should probably be Step 1. Going for a walk of at least a mile a couple times/week should probably be Step 2.
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"◾1/3 of men ages 22-34 still live at home with their parents. An increase of 100% in the last 20 years. According to the census, among young adults ages 18-24, 56 percent of men and 48 percent of women still live at home with their parents."
They forgot to add that they just move in with an older guy that's already making bank. Guys stay with parents longer, cause, you know, we have to earn our living.
The US is going to end up like Japan: the salaryman lifestyle disappears, and men abandon ambitions of all sorts, including romantic. Instead they curl up with video games and porn.
I think they went too far. Giving up on relationships and marriage for the insane standards women have is understandable, even if you meet those standards. But just giving up on life in general? That is pathetic. These guys act like society will attack them if they leave their house. No matter what, I'll always party with friends, lift weights, flirt with real life women, and just get out there and live!
That figure is probably much higher when you take into consideration those who are still on the dole.
That's not applicable to many of them
I don't follow. I was specifically referring to 18-24 year olds living outside their parents' homes but still supported by them in whole or in part, something which I've noticed is a common theme.
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How long have you been doing nofap for?
According to his flair over there, 43 days.
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I intentionally broke my 2 month streak today. It started to feel like a celibat with lowered sexual energy, in contrast with the first month where the sexual energy was directed towards heightened confidence and drive. Gonna try semiweekly scheduled now. Also feel like most of the positive effect comes from no porn, not no fap, so definitely never going back to that.
Right balance of masculinity and pretty boy looks is important.
If u are too masculine - you'll scare and repel people.Its almost villainous.
Do the exact opposite of everything your mother told you.
A beard, a good haircut, good clothing (a nicely tailored suit does fucking wonders), lifting and overall "manly" posture. The last one i cant help you with, it comes off naturally for me so i don't know how to get it, but you can probably read up on that and expand that knowledge
No Fap + Lifting + Anything that gets hormones/testosterone up. Also try to get more angry etc..
Just think of how you were picked on and friendzoned whenyou were younger. Punish yourself for being so weak. That always gets me fired up.
To expand on this, be hard on yourself. Growing up I got a few participation medals and looking back, I see how shameful that is. Punish yourself until you get your gold medal, whatever it may be. Do not tolerate or feel proud of yourself for receiving life's "participation medals".
Book of Brodin cures all ailments.
Holy shit this. I hate when people go like "omg don't go so hard on yourself, you can't be the best, you need to take it easy". Bitch, if you cant go for longer than an hour in the gym without taking 3 selfies and just doing one muscle group, thats your issue, i can train mma, boxing, wrestling, go to the gym, and run for 10k in the same fucking day, while on a caloric deficit, so get the fuck out of my way before i crush you.
Bahahaha, you made a huge mistake by suggesting that lifting weights can't solve every single problem you've ever had in this sub.
I definitely need to work on indifference, I find myself in pointless, heated arguments and feel ashamed I got to that point halfway through. How do I stop trying so hard men?
Discussions can be fun, but learn to identify when your interlocutor is not listening to your points and just repeating themselves. Then change the subject or remove yourself.
Just by asking, you're halfway there. What is it you need that makes you do this? To be right? To win? Any ounce of neediness makes you vulnerable and subject to derailing. Women will bait you into shitty arguments, especially if they sense you can't resist the bait.
I became a lot more successful at dating when I figured out a few of these on my own.
I was amazed how effective teasing is.
Great post, and I'm not gonna bother summarizing what everyone else said about why these are important ideologies to hold. But one key thing I haven't seen while skimming the comments, but what I really liked here in this post was that there is a solid comparison ie: 12. Teasing - playfully... (provoking her instead of trying to....)
That makes the important distinction of what someone new (like me) might take something in a different direction, or have a wrong basis of comparison. So TLDR; thanks for the post that actually can get some shit done in my mind.
So a new person like myself just needs to practice these? I've always been a beta nice guy and this post is golden. I just struggle with these behaviors. It's like an instinct to just carry on being a beta faggot.
It is more that it is easy to be beta. Beta is passive but alpha is active. Mind set and the decision to not be are the first step. Forcing it at first until it feels more natural is the next step.
It's not "like" an instinct, it is instinct because alpha or beta are decided before you know your first words.
I'm curious whether the Provider is still considered Alpha in this. If a man is confident, direct, dominant, indifferent, a leader, masculine and teasing, is he still classified as Alpha? I would be inclined to say yes. As for "Bad Boy Traits", half of the 12 are simply signs of a self-realized and mature man who knows who he is, what he wants, where he's going, and isn't willing to settle on anything.
I wouldn't worry about classifying. Awareness will keep you from pushing too far in either direction, but allow you to push things anyways (rather than being stuck in bland neutral).
As a married dude with kids, I'm drawn to the Provider role. I understand the joy in being a plow-horse, in serving others, but it's always on the edge of supplication.
Cultivating freedom/independence (#7) has been the crucial step for me.
At first it was hard to give myself permission to enjoy any freedom. And my endless utility masked this depressing feeling that I wasn't enjoying my life, even though I had accomplished a lot and "should" be happy.
That's a very good explanation. I'm a single dad and I take great joy and pride in raising daughter and being a good dad. I'm very much in the Provider role. I believe serving others is far from being subservient to others. However, the last part of what you said spoke to me loudest. "My endless utility masked this depressing feeling that I wasn't enjoying my life".
How are you cultivating your independence and freedom? Anything you could recommend? I am struggling with this one
I think it's fair to say you can't be everything on this list at once.
The title of this post read like a youtube advert.
Great post though!
It's strange how after a few years I wouldn't be able to tell you the recipe to being this man. How I got there, I almost don't even remember anymore, all I know is that these traits are who I am and have become. Life is so different now... I can't even picture who I was three years ago.
Still, after so long, I feel like I owe so much to this community. I hope more Men continue to learn to respect themselves and become real leaders in their work life and put forth the effort and have the courage to better themselves. To learn how to build strong relationships while keeping these things in mind and remembering that God could not have given you a better blessing than the opportunity to be a Man. Live life it to it's fullest the way every great Man should.
Here's some more information behind the psychology of women preferring alpha male and maybe dark triad traits compared to beta male traits.
http://www.riseofsigma.com/2014/01/the-female-imperative-dna-bad-boys.html
I admit those are attractive.
But its confidence with something concrete to back it up, not empty arrogance. Sometimes too much of it also crosses to the point of compensation for what might be insecurity (annoying) - its about just the right amount of it.
The entitlement can play wrong sometimes though, and depends on what you demand. You can end up as being too demanding - too costly like a brat.
But for the most part, yeah hot
Appreciate your viewpoint.
Any of the points I listed could probably be overdone, and would be pathetic if just faked. But from what I've seen, too many guys come across as needy and sickeningly sweet to women. It's as if they're trying to win a contest for friendliness instead of manliness.
Great post man, brief, but succinct and salient. Stickied.
Ain't no bigger provider than big daddy government.
More like big mommy government.
On the subject of smiling too much, how do you deal with, "you should smile more!" shit testing?
Well, you could say a great blow job always makes me smile.
Yeah but this is usually in a corporate work environment (and I don't deal with customers so it's not a job issue). I usually settle for a glassy, "don't fuck with me" stare before turning back to my work.
Then just say, "I am smiling".
Practice a "Psycho" smile and deploy it.
http://img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/american-psycho-they-said-smile-403340.jpeg
I get this, I've read it before but it's really only true for some women, not all of them
There's no "one size fits all" for anything.
This post defines TRP in the least amount of words.
Good list. It's a travesty that most of these are associated with "Bad Boys" and not just men in general. I'd add only one to 10: the ability to go from cute and cuddly to dangerous and scary in the blink of an eye is fucking gold.
Goddamn do I love this post.
I like how a bunch of the opposites in paranthesis are characteristics plenty desirable in women (soft, caring, attentive, friendly, etc) supporting the idea of men and women being desirable to each other when they are complementary, ie.: no woman will be attracted to a man with ladylike characteristics :)
Jeeesus, I've been acting this way around a girl I've known for a while. She has a boyfriend of 4-5 years who is a nurse, calls himself a "gamer", talks about comics and zombie apocalypse type shit. He also dominates most conversations, but not in a good way. He literally lets no one else talk and she'll continually tell him to get to the point and to "hurry up, this is taking too long". There are other girls in this group and I can see/feel the inner eye rolling going on.
We are all around 30, mind you, so we've got a wall to deal with. I do notice though when he's not around that she is flirty and will make chances to playfully hit me and makes those somewhat subtle sex eyes at me. She'll ask about other girls I hang out with in a curious manner as if to compliment me on my conquests.
It's funny, I have no real interest in pulling her away from here bf, but I really wouldn't mind if they broke up because he really is an annoying prick-good guy, just too much. She dated one of my old roommates a long time ago and it was a much better social situation. As of late, probably because of this sub, I've had a renaissance with my old personality. I've never been sensitive or "beta" but we all go through lulls, I've recently been feeling better, more unapologetic, and dominant/confident when going out. I can tell they notice it.
For me, things started going considerably better in the hook-up department, when I started smiling more, walking more upright, being more polite- but also.. and this is a rather small thing-- But I just started to not immediately reply to messages.. That wasn't even intentional, I just stopped caring as much as I used to.
Though I read some time ago, that apparently that can be seen as "hard to get", and apparently some women consider those who aren't providing immediate replies more of a "catch" or something.. To some extent I do the teasing thing... But in a rather playful/silly/goofy sort of way
Though- Pointing out the obvious, I must say that it all really depends on circumstances, timing and best of all; coincidences.. Coincidences that you can put a focus on- For example.. you met a person once, and had a great time; but you still don't know much to break the ice with.. but something memorable happened so you can go: "Hey! Remember that time when that dude came running right into the street light?" and continue the convo from there..
If that doesn't work, you can always try the hallpass one: "How much does a polar bear weigh?" ---"Enough to break the ice!--Hello reaches for handshake I'm DeviousVerendus, nice to meet you!"
wouldonlyrecommendifyou'reboth-drunk
Where would self-deprecating humour fall here?
I've heard positives and negatives in the use of it, and I wonder if it's applicable in these 12
I'm guessing it falls in being used sparingly to create comfort with her if you push #12 a bit too hard.
What about being a Bad Boy that can provide as well? Rich, good career, etc. How do you make it clear that those features go into second place, and communication the Bad Boy > Provider?
I found the guide useful as a reminder, but on about 50% of the points I had to change/correct them in my head as I was reading them, because they were too narrow. That is, they were good points, but they were just one way of achieving the equal results. So, someone would get good results following your guide, but also as good results following a slightly different guide (which may be more in line with their values), like how in early MMA people thought BJJ was the only way to win and gradually we find more and more ways.
For example: You describe only the dominant extrovert, not the dominant introvert; you only describe the dominant bad guy not the dominant good guy (conflating goodness with betaness); you say dangerous and disagreeable not friendly and harmless, when in fact you can also be friendly and dangerous simultaneously. Some of the things you say you should do, is really a case of where you should do them if you want to, and not do them if you don't want to -- really it's still just doing what you think is in your self-interest as you did as a beta, but coming from a bold and confident state of mind, rather than a timid and fearful one, which will naturally make you think that different things are in your self-interest and you will act differently.
Voluntaryism.
Question here... How would Teasing/playfully disrespecting her be beneficial to us? Wouldn't making a woman potentially feel insecure/nervous like that be counter productive?
I thought, like in the suggested readings, being a "value giver" was the way to go. Disrespecting may go against this.
Please correct me if I'm wrong, I'm still very new to Redpill and welcome any criticism/advise.
Point 4 pretty much kills all the other points doesn't it ?
I dont give a fuck about the other points. Done.
Oh god, that list has made me realise I've been doing it all wrong with my crush. She likes me because she knows I'd be a good long term partner, a provider, a friend. That's what he husband already gives, and the reason she she won't gamble on a fling.
Oh well.
I crave a lot of these characteristics in my women too. Specifically, 1, 2, 6, 7, and 8.
EDIT: Others disagree I'm guessing?
[deleted]
Blah blah blah. All the betas on here still looking to find their game on reddit
submitted to r/cosmopolitan
10/10 for homosexual undertones
I agree with this list, but the number of losers faking the bad boy style is much more than the number of really confident guys with these traits. I find fakers more sickening than boring "good" guys. They even fail being the provider.
I don't believe in the dual strategy. I think it's based on antiquated evolutionary psychology. But if it did exist how exactly are you applying it? Do you wait for your wife to ovulate and pull out these traits and spend the rest of the month working nights and rubbing her feet while you watch Will and Grace together? Seriously everyone fantasies about being the alpha here despite being married.
How is entitlement different from being needy?
The entitlement one is a bit far. That one crosses you over into asshole territory.
I think you're either born a bad boy or you aren't. You're either rebellious from birth, or you're not.
The sociopathic/psychopathic tendency is probably inborn. But most of us could evolve one way or the other. There's a lot of social influence (parents and schooling) guiding us to be good little boys and to suppress our masculinity. And it's getting worse. We're so deeply ingrained by the time we reach our 20's we don't even realize what a lost cause we've become... trapped in a Beta Fog.
This is true. The shaming I get on a daily basis makes me cringe. Especially from young mothers on how I'm not a real man (whatever that means) because I don't have kids at age 20. A real man waits until his 30's because you need a high level of maturity to be a father. at least 30. Call me not a real man but people doing that at that age are just narcissistic. You go around having unprotected sex and then actually think you're gonna do a good job as a parent when you haven't even established a career. Pure narcissism.
What crazy people think a 20 year old is ready to be a dad?
Women. I see females getting pregnant by 20 year old gangbangers and do you really think he gives a fuck about you or the baby.
Psychopathy is genetic but the gene is activated in childhood. Though I disagree with the above points are innately sociopathic. ASPD issimply the lack of empathy. This can manifest in the above points but it's not directly causal. It simply makes it easier to manifests the appearance of some of those traits. In some instances you would conclude sociopaths have none of the traits.
My father was diagnosed with ASPD he was extremely shy. As his son he never lead. He had no mysterious "aura" about him. He was bitchy and needy just as any entitled woman posted here. How was he a sociopath? Do you know what an electro shock test is? Let's just say for simplicity it's an hour of pain for a fourteen year old boy. During my car ride to the hospital I was heeded not with encouragement and a lesson about fighting personal battles as a man. But my dad complaining about his fucking knee and shoulder. There was a television in the room where I was being tested not once my father unglue himself from his chair. And the best part of all he pocketed the money my mother gave him to pay for the procedure.
Sociopaths run in all shapes and sizes and it god damn bothers me when anybody use them as a shining example of anything. You cannot shine shit.
Like telling a fish its swimming in water. The first time that fog lifted - was when I did.
Live enough years and you'll understand how life's shit has a way of changing you, or maybe more aptly put, has a way of you allowing yourself to change.
I believe we're all born to have minds of our own, but it is our society that holds us back.
This post reeks of mental masturbation. Blah blah blah be confident blah blah blah what is confidence is it with empty arrogance or without blah blah blah, etc. Everyone has their interpretation lets not get caught in semantics. In essence this shit is useless unless you go out and act.
Agreement total. You wouldn't want to appear as putting yourself on a pedestal. It helps to have actually had sex with human witness(es) once. You just cannot pretend to be Studley McBoner by acting like an asshole. Contrary to popular belief girls know a fair bit about guys. They don't put out for every fool who insults their sense of propriety. Don't let Cosmo or those bodice ripping novels fool you. I guess I am already too late. You don't learn to be an "alpha male", which is an adolescent idea at the best of times. Be yourself. Neither fear nor despise.