Why do some men talk about women and sex this way?

WhiskersNT · 2017-08-19T23:07:36+00:00

Why do women talk like they are just along for a ride in life?

Each sex's way of speaking reflects their experience, look at how everything the dude says is about what he does, a man has to act in order to make anything happen so his speech reflects that. And similarly for a woman, "it just happened"

Seriously look at your woman's paragraph and rephrase it to show who the agent was for all of those actions. A guy approached her. He ran game. He led her around to a different venue. He escalated on her. He banged her. Etc

SirNemesis · 2017-08-19T23:52:41+00:00

I met this really nice guy at the bar. The chemistry was instant. He was funny, charming, and had a killer smile. We talked about our lives for a bit, joking around. We then went back to his place to watch a movie and have a few drinks. One thing led to another, and we ended up having really wild sex. It was a lot of fun and I hope we see each other again.

Witness the passive voice and total lack of female agency.

mgtownigga · 2017-08-19T23:10:09+00:00

How I hear men talk about sex....

Lol, no, they don't. That's not how most men talk about sex.

Oh, okay, it might be how men write about sex on reddit.

I hear women talk about sex (for contrast) ....

Not enough details in there. Not a single mention of the guy's dick and how it looked.

You'd need much more words to give a realistic example of how women actually talk about stuff like that. It's an unrealistic depiction of how women talk about sex.

mgtownigga · 2017-08-19T23:08:27+00:00

For most men, getting a girl to come back to your place and have sex with you is quite the accomplishment. It's seen as a win. You've conquered something. No man is going to say a ONS was one thing leading to another because that shit didn't just happen. He made that happen and he's proud of it. So it's no surprise that he talks about it like a conqueror talking about his prize.

Besides, talking about pounding ass and pulling hair is hot. I don't see what's wrong with it.

ConnorGracie · 2017-08-19T23:16:37+00:00

Looks like a way for the female to not look like a slut and for the guy to validate his brand of seduction.

alcockell · 2017-08-19T23:22:25+00:00

Why do I have Summer Nights from Grease running in my head? Same crossmatch h.

Doom_and-Gloom · 2017-08-20T00:08:04+00:00

Well, the first one is clearly just fanfiction, so there's that. As for the second one... I've noticed a lot women tend to think that; that things between them and their SO just happened, and in a way I suppose they're right; for most women, relationships are something that "just happens" because they can afford to take a completely passive stance in the dating game. Men, however, know better. They know things didn't "just happen", they happened because they made them happen with their own blood, sweat and tears.

HossMcDank · 2017-08-20T08:32:10+00:00

"What men type on redpill forums" =/= "What men say IRL"

aHugeGapingAsshole · 2017-08-20T05:16:51+00:00

LOL. I once worked at a corp that was vastly just women. Trust me, they get fucking disgusting about it, too. Both sexes are guilty of being crude and crass about it. (BTW, most don't. Like overwhelmingly do not.)

pinkgoldrose · 2017-08-19T23:06:00+00:00

Do men actually like the women they sleep with or do they just see them as a means to validate their ego?

In this case it's a validation that the work he took to improve his attractiveness and the specific steps for seducing that girl were successful. Men as the approachers can rarely claim that relationships 'just happen' or that 'one thing led to another' since they're doing all the legwork.

Liking the girl he's having sex with (beyond her looks anyway) is optional. Many would see the relative ease with which she gives away sex to be disheartening

Willow-girl · 2017-08-19T23:16:05+00:00

I met this really nice guy at the bar. The chemistry was instant. He was funny, charming, and had a killer smile. We talked about our lives for a bit, joking around. We then went back to his place to watch a movie and have a few drinks. One thing led to another, and we ended up having really wild sex. It was a lot of fun and I hope we see each other again.

While you're not wrong with your paraphrasing, this really isn't what men are looking for in casual sex.

The enthusiasm level of the whole quote reads like a woman enjoying a fun day out at the seaside, or something else fun, but ultimately inconsequential.

wtknight · 2017-08-19T23:31:20+00:00

I don't respect other men who speak that way about women. I'm guessing that the men who speak that way about the women who that they are having casual sex with don't really respect those women. If women are bothered by men talking this way about them, then they could always hold off on having sex with men until they establish at least a friendship with them.

Temperfuelmma · 2017-08-20T04:53:37+00:00

That's how women talk in movies and around frenemies

GoldPisseR · 2017-08-20T05:05:24+00:00

I think mostly low IQ men or jaded redpillers use this vernacular.

It makes them look fucking stupid , harboring resentment for the very woman they'd fuck.

Sarmatian_Spy · 2017-08-20T08:46:00+00:00

The man would be culturally encouraged/incentivized to talk (more or less) like that - no matter what actually happened. Like, even if they really had great fun hanging out, established great chemistry and connection, kissed under the moonlight or some shit and then had sex - and the man totally perceived it that way, too - that man would still have an incentive to talk about "smashing that hb9" and so on.

It's boasting, and it's the way boasting works for men in such contexts. There can be some variations as to how subtle or crude the whole thing gets, but these variations are limited.

pinkgoldrose · 2017-08-19T23:08:53+00:00

Every man wants to have sex (eg. power and dominance) over attractive women.

Stating the purported sexual exploits to other men is an attempt to exert power and dominance over them, by showcasing your achievements and prowess in the highest competitive field (shagging women).

[deleted] · 2017-08-20T00:24:56+00:00

I regret to inform you that this is how we feel and think

Yeah I can respect and admire a guy who talks that way. What I get out of male friends is "what can we create together" so I don't care how vulgar he frames his encounters for women

At a deeper level both men and women resent something about the other and want to take the opposite sex down a peg, for men it's the conquest of sex, the thought of degrading an entitled little thot is like viagra

[deleted] · 2017-08-20T04:02:33+00:00

Many men don't care about the woman, we just want a trophy around a to show off to our friends.

Having a hot girlfriend is like telling your guy friends that you bench twice your bodyweight.

despisedlove2 · 2017-08-20T04:19:09+00:00

Isn't the real question why women like that kind of sex?

TheBookOfSeil · 2017-08-20T06:25:01+00:00

If they're talking like that, it's usually to another guy, and it's a form of boasting. They'd probably never talk that way to another woman (especially if they're trying to have sex with her).

I'd say it's more of an attitude. We all have those people that we feel more comfortable with than others, and we say things in a way that we wouldn't if we were with other people.

I'm a man, and if another man was explaining the situation like that to me, I'd probably just play along and laugh, but I'd really be thinking that a lot of it is overly exaggerated bs.

As for your last question, I can't speak for all men, but I would have to like a woman a considerable amount before I would actually sleep with them. I can't picture myself having sex with someone that isn't in some way meaningful to me, because the sex would probably be equally as meaningful, and therefore not very good.

writingtoc · 2017-08-20T07:04:06+00:00

Men who talk that way about women (and to be clear I mean men who talk specifically that way about women that the OP demonstrates) are intimidated, weak and insecure. There are types of male crudeness that do not indicate weakness/fear, but this isn't one of them.

Come on, picture the type of guy who talks like this. It's not a well-adjusted, attractive young man. It's some fucking internet alpha. And there's literally nothing worse than an internet alpha.

exit_sandman · 2017-08-20T16:32:02+00:00

It seems to me that the way men talk about women and sex is to establish his power over her and the way they do this is by emphasizing her consensual degradation. [...] What's the point of this? Why do men talk like this?

Because women have the power by default, and do behave accordingly.

Because the same woman as the one in your scenario (the one who is talking about sex in such a sublime manner) probably was shit-talking a lot about all the guys she isn't attracted to.

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wub1234 · 2017-08-19T23:38:41+00:00

Why do men talk like this?

A lot of it is just bravado.

badnews4u · 2017-08-20T04:01:35+00:00

you sound like a white knight flaming chad while he gets the pussy and you dont or at least describing one.

those women will make whatever story up in their minds to justify it. the male talk is just standard talk on theredpill, no one talks like that in real life to their friends like that. maybe a little, but too much and it's bragging and there are better things to talk about

[deleted] · 2017-08-20T04:14:27+00:00

i think men who talk like that feel as though they are expected to, in a way. they have probably had a hard time getting women in the past and they "took steps" (probably at the advice of other man who have had the same past problems, and don't really know what they're talking about) to improve their "skills" which is really going to only end in getting easy women who are not their idea of "relationship material". men who talk like that are just ass hole individuals or seriously misguided individuals.

jonascf · 2017-08-20T05:31:40+00:00

I'm a man and I don't talk that way about women, I usually keep details about sex out of the conversation when talking about girls I'm dating.

Temperfuelmma · 2017-08-20T06:40:24+00:00

You would prefer if men would talk like women?

decoy88 · 2017-08-20T08:58:19+00:00

People play to their audience. Different audiences want different things out of the story.

If that guy was telling women the story it'd be very different and vice versa.

Also it's about comfort level and what people are comfortable sharing.

I've heard plenty women describe sexual encounters in the crudest way possible. Usually when there's no fear of being judged by peers. It's quite possible that the women in your life fear judgement of being too graphic and choose not to share with you.

[deleted] · 2017-08-20T14:47:30+00:00

It's like comparing someone living on an island resort vs someone playing hunger games on an island. Men have to fight to get women to have sex with them, where as women just show up and pick whichever man they like. Of course the account of a champion who details his fight to win a prize is going to be different than the account of someone basking in pleasure giving the details of just one of the encounters she has on a daily basis.

Moobx · 2017-08-20T17:42:20+00:00

Probably the same reason there are woman who share every last dirty detail with their friend(s)? Even when in a more serious relationship they still talk to each other about their sex lives.

Basically, women can be as dirty as men, please stop trying to put them into this neat, perfect box.

A woman who does tell her friends everything about her sexual encounter can make fun of him, his dick size, and say the sex wasn't good, because it is never a reflection on her. It's the guys job to make sex feel good and she is the judge. So why do SOME men talk like what's described in the post? If they don't exaggerate, if they don't talk about how great they made her feel/satisfied her, people will think the sex wasn't that good. And it will be his fault.

RealityTastesGreat · 2017-08-20T17:44:00+00:00

Seeing feminine desire and delivering is a masculine function. ."Smashing face in pillow" is an action oriented descriptor, although. OP added it just to try to make a point about supposed power over

damaskrose · 2017-08-21T02:02:23+00:00

It's not just about sex, it's about male and female locus of control. Men attribute their accomplishments to themselves and their failures to external factors. Women attribute their failures to themselves and their accomplishments to external factors. Men are taught to never show weakness, women are taught to be modest and never brag about themselves.

"Hey congrats on passing that test!"

Male response: Thanks, I was up all night studying.

Female response: Thanks, I just got lucky I guess!

"Sooo you failed the test?"

Male response: That test wasn't fair, the prof didn't cover any of this in class.

Female response: Yeah, I really fucked up that last problem, I don't understand this at all.

lbspredh · 2017-08-21T10:25:56+00:00

Lol they're both making shit up, it's just a matter of what they think will impress their contemporaries

ta1901 · 2017-08-21T15:27:01+00:00

It seems to me that the way men talk about women and sex is to establish his power over her and the way they do this is by emphasizing her consensual degradation.

I disagree. I'm a guy. Here are some factors I observe.

These are younger men, and mentally and emotionally immature. They haven't made an effort to understand how women look at sex or a relationship. Thus they are often stuck with brief relationships.
These are younger men, with a super high sex drive, so all they think about is sex.
Men are just more direct. This might seem offensive to some (and the above was clearly someone immature to me) but that's the way it is.

However I will agree somewhat with you. Since I mentioned these boys are immature, they think women want men who control them, when in fact, women really just prefer a confident man. Those 2 are not the same and these boys have not learned that yet. They are just mimicking what other successful-appearing boys seem to do. And their mimicking shows they just don't understand the differences between the perceptions of men and women at all.

SkookumTree · 2017-08-19T23:09:09+00:00

Autism
A desire for validation: they get to boast to their friends that they fucked a hot chick. Guys compete with each other on things like that, as attractiveness in some ways is a proxy for other things like friendship value and effectiveness. Men are also more focused on the physical attractiveness of their partner, while women go more for personality.

Title	Why do some men talk about women and sex this way?
Author	snailypop
Upvotes	22
Comments	315
Date	August 19, 2017 11:02 PM UTC (8 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6us7sy/why_do_some_men_talk_about_women_and_sex_this_way/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/why-do-some-men-talk-about-women-and-sex-this-way.266390 https://theredarchive.com/post/266390

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