RP men, where do you think your aversion to promiscuous women comes from, and why isn't it the same for men?

prodigy2throw · 2016-09-15T16:46:17+00:00

I'll be real, there is insecurity about a girl who's given it up for less than it took for you to get it.

For example, if I'm with a girl who wants to wait to have sex but then I find out she's had a one night stand before, it's kinda like "damn this nigga got the milk for free while I'm waiting around like a sucker".

I think it's valid though as promiscuous women tend to make bad decisions.

Sunhappy_DC · 2016-09-15T16:40:03+00:00

it's not that deep. men just don't want to think about the woman they are with fucking another dude. it disgusts them.

not everything requires a thesis

Ultramegasaurus · 2016-09-15T16:55:19+00:00

I'm wondering where RP men think the aversion to promiscuous women comes from (nature, society, etc)[...]

What you call aversion is usually just an unwillingness to LTR or marry promiscious women. Main reason is that they tend to demand more efforts and contributions from you while offering pretty much the same they offered other men for free. But even that is not a given. It's not unheard of women, who did really kinky stuff in her past, to be much more sexually reserved or outright frigid towards the men they want commitment from.

There are also statistics that draw a connection between female promiscuity and several negative aspects.

and why do you think promiscuous men are treated differently, or their promiscuousness is less of a deal breaker for women.

First off, it's not universally true that promiscuous men are treated better than women. Many people find them degenerate. Not only that, these men are very often accused of using or even abusing women. It's socially acceptable for a woman to rant about a man (or even men in general) after she finds out the man she slept with only wanted sex with no strings attached. That's especially hypocritical, considering that men are absolutely not allowed to complain about women who only want to be friends. Also consider that a lot of recent consent laws seem to be aimed at men who disappointed women's expectations about commitment, at least partially. Accusing a man of rape because he left immediately in the morning is enabled by said laws.

Additionally, if a man is succesfully promiscious, he's very likely to be extraordinarily handsome and/or charismatic. That is not true at all for a promiscious woman. She is not required to be really pretty. And she's especially not required to possess certain character traits or social skills.

sofcknwrong · 2016-09-15T18:04:38+00:00

Another thing:

It's not an "aversion" to sluts. It's an aversion to committing to sluts. It's an aversion to expending resources on sluts. It's an aversion to being exclusive with a slut.

Sluts are great for fucking and having fun with and hanging out with. Some of them are great people. Some of them are very good at their jobs, are cool women, and are a blast to be around.

They're just not for commitment, exclusivity, or marriage. They're not to be trusted with your money. They're not to be trusted with your life. They're not to be trusted with raising your offspring.

A man worth his salt does not want the same mouth that's blown 30 cocks kissing the head of his son.

A high value man does not want the same fingers that were wrapped around 30 cocks bearing his wedding ring.

jackandjill22 · 2016-09-15T17:24:13+00:00

Several things.

--When a girl requires less of another man than she required of me for sex, this is an extremely strong indication she was more sexually attracted to the other man than to me. She's looking to "settle" with me. She will believe she can treat me worse than the other guy; treat me poorly, or take advantage of me.

--When a girl has a history of having sex with men who are of a different type or character than me; and then all of a sudden shows sexual interest in me coupled with pushing me for exclusivity/commitment, this is also an extremely strong indication that her sexual attraction to me is lacking. This is a strong indication she sees me as beta bux and is looking to settle on me.

--Once I start having sex with a woman and she starts wanting exclusivity, she will start drawing on my time, attention and resources. I want to invest those things wisely, in a woman who is worth those things, and who is less likely to squander or steal them.

--Promiscuous women are poor risks for marriage. Almost all the time, promiscuity in women correlates extremely strongly with poor judgment, impulsivity, infidelity, disloyalty, dishonesty, disagreeableness, distrustfulness, untrustworthiness, personality disorders, cynicism, substance abuse, a predilection for using men, a predilection for believing men just want to use them, daddy issues, STDs, just plain cuntiness, and a host of other problems.

--Promiscuous women have an exponentially higher divorce risk. A woman with even ONE prior sex partner has her divorce risk elevated by 50%. Now, N=1 is not promiscuous. But if a woman has her divorce risk go up by half with merely ONE premarital sex partner, how much worse will it be with 5? 10? 25? Why should I bear that risk?

--In commitment/marriage, the man bears almost ALL the risk. If I have to bear ALL the risks of marriage, then I want those risks as low as possible.

--I have YET to meet a promiscuous woman who has NOT had serious problems in forging and maintaining relationships with men -- even men they claim to love, even men they claim to be sexually attracted to. I have YET to meet a promiscuous woman who didn't have at least one of the things in the above list.

Promiscuity is less of a deal breaker for men because

--it just doesn't seem to affect men in terms of their ability to leave it behind and bond to one woman.

--it doesn't affect his ability to attract attractive women.

--women don't seem to care that he's been with a lot of women -- in fact his past history of promiscuity seems to ENHANCE his attractiveness. Preselection. Social proof.

--women don't want to be with male virgins. Women are unattracted almost universally to male virgins. A man who can't turn in his v card and get a girl to fuck him is seen as less than a man.

sardonis70 · 2016-09-15T16:59:05+00:00

or their promiscuousness is less of a deal breaker for women.

Same reason many men settle for any woman that finally agrees to be with them: thirst. For sure its a different kind of thirst, because in the case of women, they'd probably prefer a lower N man, but also realize they aren't likely to find one as attractive as the one in front of them with a high notch count.

I'm wondering where RP men think the aversion to promiscuous women comes from (nature, society, etc)

I'm of the mind it is rooted in nature, and enhanced or diminished by social conditioning. Its basis is in biology, but different societies have adjusted its course based on social norms and beliefs.

OncleJulian · 2016-09-15T17:31:19+00:00

what aversion? I love sluts. If they give it up to me for free and easily, they are alright in my book. If they try to make me wait then I know that some other dude got it for free and she isn't attracted to me so why bother talking to her?

stats135 · 2016-09-15T18:01:49+00:00

RP men, where do you think your aversion to promiscuous women comes from, and why isn't it the same for men?

Look there is no "double standard" and I don't value promiscuous men differently. If I had a son and arranged marriages was still a thing I would want my son to marry a women that is young, a virgin, and holds on to traditional values and roles, ie. be a housewife. But guess what? If I had a daughter, the man I would want her to marry is still someone that is young, a virgin, and holds on to traditional values and roles, ie. be a breadwinner. The standard doesn't change. The fact that women don't share these standards aren't so much a double standard as just (surprise,surprise) men and women being different and wanting different things.

As the why it is less or a deal for women, I believe it just goes back to the difference in male and female sex drive. Men need and care more about sex and everything that has to do with it a LOT more than women do. Whether it be the quality and quantity of sex, or sex appeal, or number of sex partners, men will always care more.

DarkLord0chinChin · 2016-09-15T18:38:25+00:00

Women sell, men buy.

Men want to buy it really hard, so women inflate the prices.

When a woman that's known to have been giving it out for free suddenly starts acting all expensive, its insulting. Hence the aversion.

gavinok · 2016-09-15T17:33:28+00:00

For me it's not about quantifying promiscuity or how a woman values her sexuality, but what the result is toward her behavior toward me.

For a relationship, both partners must intensely value each other sexually. There has to be passionate lust in the beginning. If there isn't, it won't be a fulfilling relationship.

So the issue with promiscuity is that, it has the potential to raise a woman's standards for sexual pleasure. It's like an engineer that has worked for a $200k salary suddenly going to a $100k salary. They aren't going to put in the same effort and work because they have experienced better rewards before.

PersianDj · 2016-09-15T18:49:10+00:00

Its just visceral disgust.

And also that I 'll have to commit to her to get sex whereas she had it with douchefuck guys within days of meeting them just cuz they were hot.

Insecurity isn't really a thing with me,except when I love the girl, then I 'd get mopey and obsessed with her like a mofo.

So yeah, life partner needs to be not a slut.A casual partner is fine as long as she's clean.

GaiusScaevolus · 2016-09-15T19:06:57+00:00

Social/"evolutionary": For most of human history, (until the 60s or 70s) the only way a man could be absolute sure he was the father of his wife's children was to be the only man she had been with in the past year. Now that we have DNA testing, that is changing, but the norm has existed for centuries.
Cultural: We still have a strong current in our culture that sex is meant to be private and 'special'. This attitude is adapting, but it's deeply ingrained.
Personal (Her): I know quite a few high N count women, and most of them seem to share several 'undesirable' traits like impulsiveness, weak hold on LTRs, poor decision making, and high rate of cheating.
Personal (Me): I didn't get 'good' with women until I was out of college for a bit. This has made me hypersensitive to the idea of being led on or used. So if i'm involving myself with a girl and find out she's taken guys home from the bar same night she met them, and i'm still being held at 2nd at the end of date 3, that alarm goes off in my head.

If I had to assign values, I'd say 40%/30%/20%/10%, respectively.

Five_Decades · 2016-09-15T16:52:29+00:00

It comes from biology. Women have more value sexually, so a promiscuous woman implies she doesn't value her own sexuality. This could be due to issues that would make her a poor mother (abuse, mental illness, no self esteem, etc). Women who work in the sex industries are known for substance abuse and mental illness. We can pretend that isn't the case to be pc, but let's be real. I read the majority of prostitutes and strippers have mental health problems. Borderline personality disorder, depression, anxiety, ptsd, substance abuse, etc. These are not good traits for a mother or wife, who needs patience and emotional stability.

A woman with mental health issues will be a lower quality mother.

Also men have to worry about being cuckold and paternity fraud. This is a higher risk with a promiscuous woman, you could end up raising another man's kids.

So increased odds of raising another man's kids with an unstable woman who would make a bad wife and mother. Naturally this was selected against by evolution.

Because male sexuality has less value, and a man does not put himself at an evolutionary disadvantage by being promiscuous, it is not shamed the same way. If anything a promiscuous man is advertising his smv is high enough to cheat the system. He has enough smv that he is getting sexual access without offering financial or emotional commitment and investment in women. That is like a woman who gets financial and emotional investment from men without offering them sexual access (aka women and their beta orbiters who the women use as emotional tampons, who buy them things, who fall in love with them, who act like white knight manginas, etc). She is cheating the system, it is a point of pride because you need high smv to cheat the system.

Naturally neither men with one night stands or women with beta orbiters tend to respect the people they are doing this to.

For men, being a beta orbiter is not a source or pride the same way being pumped and dumped is not a source of pride for a woman. However for the people doing it to them? Pride city.

AutoModerator · 2016-09-15T16:39:04+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair, just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

FairlyNaive · 2016-09-15T16:54:23+00:00

Ive been told that its harder to make a woman climax and kinda requires more skill then just showing up, so that could be one of the reasons women consider having experince less of a deal breaker.

Apexk9 · 2016-09-15T18:00:11+00:00

Natural self preservation social construct

UA_Hammer · 2016-09-15T18:44:40+00:00

Repeated observations of high n count woman -> bad ltr investment

High n count men are a bad ltr investment for women too.

daveofmars · 2016-09-15T23:34:51+00:00

Women are far more likely to contract STD's than men. They're also less likely to know they have an STD. It's all the internal plumbing.

Source

winterrider · 2016-09-16T00:37:08+00:00

It is a biological aversion to women who are super promiscous. It isn't society, it is just part of our genes.

Straight women are attracted to fit, masculine men. It is a genetic thing as well.

despisedlove2 · 2016-09-16T01:58:55+00:00

I am straight, so can't really give you a complete perspective.

In their unfettered state, both men and women are promiscuous.

Women have more opportunities to be promiscuous given the nature of male sexuality. Women are also more discreet about their promiscuity.

I was not always RP. However, I have always found promiscuity disgusting. Stems from my personal code.

I did once believe in promiscuous women being capable of getting past it. However, the effect of n count, though always a nagging doubt in the back of my mind, never really crystallized until I had personal experiences, which resulted in going RP.

Promiscuity warps the emotional state of an individual permanently. Since LTRs are based on an emotional compatibility as much as other factors, it is, at least to me, utter poison to future relationships.

Changes4175 · 2016-09-16T12:25:35+00:00

I'm not trying to fuck dudes.

I'm not trying to catch an STI or compete sexually with the 400 dudes who came before me.

trpobserver · 2016-09-17T02:59:55+00:00

I don't have this aversion. But I also wouldn't marry a girl with a long sexual history. Well, I wouldn't marry, fullstop. Wait, does that count as an aversion?

-ATLAS-_ · 2016-09-26T17:26:04+00:00

I think it's bigger than that. Most dudes love sexual promiscuity, they just want it with them too. I think there is some amount of women though that are averse to it to be honest. The phrase "get it out of my system" is anti slut at its core. Sexual promiscuity is great, until it isn't taking place with a partner, then most men assume things from there and the past plays a huge role at that point. Many men judge simply to avoid that point in the relationship because you learn it's hard to get past that point if the girl hasn't shown she was able to get past it in her past.

And as far as treatment, both extremes seem dominated by women, and to a large extent because of their focus on each other. Girls slut shame each other more than any guys I've seen. And the same, girls who hold their virginity and talk about it more than guys do. I think women are the ones at fault for the extremes from what I've ever seen in face to face interaction.

Veneno79x · 2016-11-30T23:25:39+00:00

The aversion comes from logic. Some one who doesn't see intimacy as a form of value is more likely to cheat and lie about it. As far as promiscuous men not being seen in the same way, well , you have to ask women that. I don't know why women go for promiscuous men myself. It really does baffle me. I don't see a big deal with a man being promiscuous because I don't really plan on dating him or making him the closest person to my being.

betterdeadthanbeta · 2016-09-15T17:58:34+00:00

Its instinctive. Men HATE the idea of their woman being fucked by another guy and some of that bleeds over even into the past. Instincts aren't logical.

Ricky469 · 2017-02-18T05:11:46+00:00

I do not believe in a double standard. I have no problem with a woman who was promiscuous previously and would never judge or slut shame her. I just want her to be faithful to me when we are together. I have been incredibly promiscuous when single but I am proud to say that when I'm in a relationship I'm monogamous. I have only been cheated on twice but I never cheated. I am however very against marriage. I believe in monogamy but would never risk my substantial hard earned assets in any way. I guess that's why a cheater never really gets to me. I also do not think it bothers me because I have never met a woman who has had nearly as many partners as me. I am well over 50 and lived through those times where sex was so easy to get, I tend to date women 20+ years younger than me. Many women like my experience but some are so shocked, thinking older guy means lower sex drive. I was actually the target of a double standard a few years ago, a woman who I caught cheating on me got angry with when I broke it off and tried to hurt me or belittle me by saying she was with 37 men before me, my calm comeback of "honey, that's nothing, I stopped counting at 400..." made her scream I was disgusting and leave in tears.

Title	RP men, where do you think your aversion to promiscuous women comes from, and why isn't it the same for men?
Author	cuittler
Upvotes	5
Comments	311
Date	September 15, 2016 4:39 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/52x223/rp_men_where_do_you_think_your_aversion_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/rp-men-where-do-you-think-your-aversion-to.272983 https://theredarchive.com/post/272983

Comments