Q4BP: What Traits are "Sexually Attractive" in Men?

ozymandias271 · 2016-09-07T20:08:18+00:00

The most physically conventionally attractive men have a "swimmer's build" body type and symmetrical, masculine and neotenous faces with no acne. However, women typically care more than men do about non-physical aspects: charm, wit, sexy talents such as music or poetry, popularity, confidence, fame (even within a tiny subculture), that sort of thing. (Talents like parkour and football are also sexy, but I left them off the list because they're not really non-physical.) While wealth itself is not conventionally attractive, signifiers of wealth such as a nice suit or a sports car can be.

For reasons I do not understand, a dark and traumatic past, properly deployed, is one of the most conventionally attractive traits a man can have. It is important to be mysterious. Aim for broody, not whiny. Combine with several signifiers of attractiveness; a dark and traumatic past from a man who isn't charming and confident just comes off as pathetic.

It is important to be congruent. In flirting, one should strive to be the best version of oneself. Some men might do best working the 'daddy' angle, while other men might do better as the silver-tongued wit, and still others might want to be the strong and silent type.

While this is not true for everyone, for many people pursuing conventional attractiveness is a bad idea. If you are primarily interested in people who aren't conventionally attractive, or if you will wind up being below average in conventional attractiveness unless you make sacrifices you don't want to make, the best thing to do is to target a particular type of women who have different preferences from the mainstream. For instance, one of the most sexually successful men I know is this long-haired waifish man who wears skirts, who is successfully targeted the underserved "into long-haired waifish men who wear skirts" demographic.

[deleted] · 2016-09-07T20:21:28+00:00

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buartha · 2016-09-07T20:25:10+00:00

Physical: Not fat (exact degree of not-fatness necessary is debatable)/ a bit taller than the girl they're pursuing/ some evidence of having gone through male puberty (i.e. facial hair, masculinized facial or body structure, etc.) Relatively symmetrical face (some non-disfiguring scarring is okay though.)

Personality: being fun is the number 1 thing for casual sex from my observations of my friends' mating habits. If you can genuinely make a girl laugh and feel like she could go on adventures with you, provided the situation is right and you meet the most basic levels of the physical criteria you're with a decent chance of scoring within your league.

Also confidence and wit.

GridReXX · 2016-09-07T19:18:57+00:00

The intangible things that confuse TRPers. Let's start there.

Swagger. Presence. Confidence. Self-assuredness.
im turned off by constant show of lack of competency.
I'm into witty banter. It's how me and my friends bond and is also how I bond with people I like. Meeting me there is sexy to me.

From there for me personally, these are the physical things I like:

Well groomed facial hair if it's possible for you to grow it. I find 5 o clock shadows and beards of a certain modest length sexy.
Strong wide shoulders.
Toned back.
a mid section that isn't a beer belly but I don't really care about it being a six pack or uber defined.
nice capable arms. Not flabby.
a squarer face with non crooked / non yellowed teeth. (Beards help dudes with a super oval faces achieve that masculine jaw)
full lips
I like man thigh but don't be hippy. That's too feminine.
I'm 5'7. So my preference in height is "taller than me or my height when heels on." 5'10 and above basically.
you don't have to be "stylish" but a nice clean socially acceptable style aesthetic is ideal.

TW_CountryMusic · 2016-09-07T19:47:39+00:00

Physically, I like dark features, good teeth, and a clean-cut look with a little scruff. I like strong guys, but I'm not a fan of the gym rat look. Blue collar guys who work with their hands for a living have a strength about them, you can tell they use their bodies, but they don't have the big, bulging vanity muscles. Those are the guys I like. Also I tend to like Hispanic guys. Something about their features, voices and mannerisms is really attractive to me.

But it's a matter of personality too. Sharp wit and a good sense of humor is sexy. A guy who's good with kids and animals is sexy. Things like responsibility, intelligence, and emotional maturity are important in a partner, but aren't really sexy per se.

But sexual attraction is a culmination of factors, and there's a certain intangible quality ("chemistry," I guess) that's hard to define but needs to be present for attraction to occur.

No, I wouldn't be sexually attracted to a guy just because he's funny or good with animals. But I also wouldn't be sexually attracted to a guy just because he has the physical features I like, either. For me he needs some combination of those sexy factors for me to find him sexually attractive; no one quality isolated from all others is going to make me want to jump his bones, even if that one quality happens to be exceptionally good looks.

[deleted] · 2016-09-07T23:31:38+00:00

Are you asking men or women?

My ideal is tall*, nice ass, strong arms, wide shoulders, mischievous eyes, sexy smile, bald (on purpose), dresses well, confident in who he is, sense of humor, smart.

*Tall for me is anything 5'8" and over.

Minerva_x4 · 2016-09-08T04:14:05+00:00

Since what you listed pretty much comes down to the physical

-Good height (6'2"-6'3" ideal but could be as low as 6'0")

-Masculine facial structure/face (very important things like wide jawline etc)

-Relatively masculine body (not as important to me personally things like women hips, small hands, moobs etc are a turn off to me, just my personal preference)

-Maybe fall under idiosyncratic preference but facial hair is a plus to me. It's not so much the hair itself (I generally prefer clean shaven or small stubble) but the capacity of the man to grow hair you know? Instead of this sparse, facial pubic hair some men have.

-Clear skin no acne/acne scars.

Lawojin · 2016-09-08T09:46:45+00:00

I dont think it works that way for women.

Youre trying to warp women's sexual arousement switches to men's in the literal sense. Kind of like translating a saying of a foreign language to english. It just doesnt pack the same message then.

But one thing that is probably Universal is the partner will be a good father for a healthy child you will concieve together.

So probably a long the lines of a fit physique health indicators (v taper, vascularity, symetrical face, straight and white teeth)

indicators of high testosterone (beardgrowth, chest hair, Sharp jawline), indicators of confidence (posture, eye contact)

social indicators (lots of social contacts who aknowledge his presence, women around him / talking about him, friends with him)

Emotional indicators (Being polarizing, showing both frustration and joy when in context, not being needy for validation but accepts that he is enough

Provider indicators if you dont verbally comunicate it (Nice house, well fitting clothes, Nice car)

And when she comes to know him probably a good job is a switch aswell. Just dont mention it on interactions before sex or you seem too tryhard.

SpaceWhiskey · 2016-09-07T19:43:53+00:00

Well shit, Pem, how long do you have?

The physical:

general high level of physical fitness/competence
hugeness (and I don't mean fat), heft, breadth, width. broad, muscular shoulders + neck + chest + arms
wide face + strong, broad jaw
big fuckin' man hands
deep voice
basically, a thick ribeye steak in human form

non-physical:

ease/doesn't get shook too quickly or easily - at ease with himself and with the world.
wide stance when sitting in chairs
magnanimity
quick wit
good conversationalist
intelligence (note: don't mistake this word for 'works in STEM' - he can work in STEM, but it's not enough to infer smarts, for me anyway)
masculine presence. hard to explain this one, but some men just have it. the way they carry themselves, confidence but not arrogance, not preening or strutting (this can be warranted but only in very specific situations)
competence. can do shit. can build shit, lift shit, climb shit, fix shit, handle shit. being really, really good at something, esp. if that something involves physical fitness, is insanity level attractive
doesn't seek to put others down (and no, this isn't moralizing or telling dudes to be niiiice, it's because this behaviour signals weakness/lack of security)

sublimemongrel · 2016-09-07T19:54:26+00:00

This is such a difficult question for me to answer with your qualifiers, Pem, because I'm generally only sexually attracted to men once I've established at the very least I want to date them, but here goes:

Personality traits:

Confident
Intelligent
Challenging (aka don't be immediately obvious, be a little coy and make me work for your attention for at least a little bit)
Funny and/or mysterious
Self-assured (I guess that could also fall under confident but I mean doesn't second guess himself/back down immediately from a challenge)

Physically:

Tall (preferably 6'0" or more to be ideal, but I've dated down to 5'9" so it's not a dealbreaker)
Skinny-ish (fit is ok but no to even remotely large muscles)
Dark hair/dark eyes
Swimmer/runner's body

shogunofsarcasm · 2016-09-07T22:58:04+00:00

This is really tough seeing as everyone has their own "things" and we aren't allowed to list any of them.

Good humour, confidence, and intelligence that is at least enough for a decent conversation would be ideal I guess.

lbspredh · 2016-09-08T06:54:25+00:00

muscles, confidence, big dick, money, everything else is window dressing

watch_for_ice · 2016-09-08T19:26:52+00:00

This whole thread could be called The Blue Pill exposed and it was that easy. Social norms celebrated to the maximum, jungle sexuality and looks requirements that exclude most men. Throwing in some personality elements similarly exaggerated just makes the whole thing more comical. I hope unattractive men that read this thread start to understand where they should stand and whom they should support. The leftists, cultural liberals, feminists, SJWs and white knights are the privileged and the modern oppressors and they make sure that the oppressed don't even have each other.

lollygagyo · 2016-09-07T19:28:34+00:00

Okay, here's what makes me want to fuck people (I can't get into other people's heads, so there may be some 'quirks' on here but I'm keeping my fetish for cellists out of the mix, so there's that):

-- charisma -- good looks -- kindness -- overt displays of empathy -- talent, particularly creative or artistic talent (musician etc) -- good conversational skills -- good sense of humour -- doesn't take himself too seriously -- a sense of ease within himself (ie isn't obsessed with his sense of masculinity) -- pretty eyes

Tbh, what I do isn't selective -- it's exclusionary. There are a whole load of subtle behaviours that really turn me off and then, no matter how good looking you are, I just won't fuck you. Certain laughs annoy me. The way that certain people talk with their hands. It's inexplicable -- that's attraction, for you.

ETA: Also, my general 'physical' type to expand on what 'good looks' means to me. Tall (I'm flexible on this, but I tend to date and sleep with men who are 6'0+), dark-haired, swarthy to dark-skinned (again, flexible on this), pretty eyes (usually blue), hands have to be large and manly, broad shoulders that taper to narrow hips.

Hipster-ish senses of style slay me as do charcoal suits and woollen jumpers stretched across broad shoulders.

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[deleted] · 2016-09-07T21:55:48+00:00

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Madness20 · 2016-09-08T16:23:17+00:00

I tried to list traits in order of importance: Height, Intelligence, Fitness, Good job, Handsome face, (or at least, not-ugly), Confident personality/Extroverted, Funny jokes, Interesting hobbies and personality.

fullmoonhermit · 2016-09-08T04:14:57+00:00

I know RP doesn't like to hear this, but attraction is highly subjective.

It's not that I don't think women value physical appearance (we do), just that we factor in a lot of other things as well. Those are harder to quantify.

Looking back on my partners, I can't really pin down physical commonalities or personality traits except for one: I felt very comfortable very quickly with them. I think that's huge for many women. It allows you to let your guard down and that's when sexual attraction can grow. A sense of basic safety (not just physically, but emotionally).

Here's something that I think is an interesting difference between most women and most men: many men fantasize about real people when they're masturbating, while women largely don't. This isn't a value judgement, just an observation.

I think this says something about how we experience sexual attraction and how we process it. Women do it differently. It's why looking a certain way is never going to work on its own.

Sorry that this is vague, I just always find "what do women find attractive" challenging to answer.

watch_for_ice · 2016-09-07T21:09:55+00:00

I am not a woman but the answer is quite simple: height and muscles and the illusion of personality that height and muscles radiate. Height is much more important though. Women are not as complicated as men. In the past years men were just projecting their own spirituality to women because if they expressed it otherwise they would get laughed at by women.

Title	Q4BP: What Traits are "Sexually Attractive" in Men?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	15
Comments	332
Date	September 7, 2016 7:07 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/51mxtg/q4bp_what_traits_are_sexually_attractive_in_men/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/q4bp-what-traits-are-sexually-attractive-in-men.273155 https://theredarchive.com/post/273155

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