Anyone actually had a good experience while losing their virginity?

TyrianPlum · 2016-04-05T13:10:40+00:00

Do women REALLY toss away their hymens so casually?

Many of us lost them to bike seats, tampons, or other physical activity, often gradually and without our knowledge. So yeah, casual is a great word for it.

I was 19, so was my boyfriend at the time. I was too tight so we had to try progressively over a few days. Thankfully I didn't have a hymen anymore so we didn't have to worry about bleeding. It felt weird but I eventually got into it in later sessions.

He was a nice enough guy and a virgin as well, we didn't date for very long but I'm glad I lost it when I did and got over that hurdle.

ArthurMacArthur · 2016-04-05T11:51:51+00:00

Any possibility that it is generally a qualitatively different experience for men versus women? My experience wasn't bad, per se, but it certainly wasn't memorable at all. If not for the fact that it was my first time, it would have been in no way remarkable.

You remember it as a comparatively magical experience. Your high school girlfriend may, or may not. She may have viewed it as magical at the time, but may now look back on it and think, "Meh. It hurt, and I bled, and I've had a lot of sex since then that was a lot better."

IME, women don't necessarily artificially devalue the experience. They just don't romanticize it, or the memory of it, and it's not uncommon for experiences accrued since then to affect one's memory of it.

wombatinaburrow · 2016-04-05T05:34:41+00:00

It hurt, and he turned out to be a jerk. My hymen had been broken years earlier through tampon usage.

Amethhyst · 2016-04-05T10:03:52+00:00

Something can be a positive experience without also being transcendent and life-defining. We didn't treat it like it was a massive deal, and I think that made it better. We can look back and laugh.

Wo-person · 2016-04-05T17:24:37+00:00

I lost my virginity to the man I married. It was also a pinnacle point in my life where I realized that people are essentially morons 99% of the time who make the biggest deal out of the dumbest things. Was it romantic? Sure. Was it meaningful? Yeah. But all those sweet nothings and cuddles could not overshadow the irritation that I felt. Every single person around me had made sex an incredibly taboo thing and it turns out that it wasn't a big deal at all. Nothing about me changed, nothing about my husband changed, the only thing that was different was this useless piece of skin that everyone else seemed to be more in a huff about than I was. I'm sure my husband sees it as something amazing and transcendent, but to me it was pretty damn stupid.

exit_sandman · 2016-04-05T10:28:29+00:00

Mine was very late, really awkward, and not really great.

And even though it was anything but awesome, actually quite frustrating for some time afterwards, on some level it relieved me big time and did away with some mental blocks I had developed over time about it.

If I should sum it up, I'd say "forgettable but nevertheless significant".

GridReXX · 2016-04-05T16:01:47+00:00

It wasn't as meaningful as I would have liked.

Yes I was dating the guy, but it was one of those, "You're cute, I'm cute, I guess we should date" HS relationships.

I wasn't really into it per se. Like the whole having a BF thing. I did it because ppl assumed you were weird if you preferred being single.

Anyhoo, my best sexual experience was not my first lovah.

The actual act of losing my virginity... I didn't enjoy sex until later. Shit was too tight and blah in the beginning.

If I had to redo it, I would have waited until I got that "butterflies" feeling, which I didn't feel until college.

So my advice to my future daughter... make sure your first is with someone you are gut-wrenchingly into. You'll never regret it. Even if the sex is mediocre... your feelings for him make up for it.

edit

My hymen was likely broken circa 11 when I started using tampons. Bonus points: I was in an equestrian camp for years and they say that breaks thingies as well haha.

dragoness_leclerq · 2016-04-05T06:52:21+00:00

I wonder if there's an element of "hmph, this RPer thinks virginity matters, time to rebel by pretending it meant NOTHING"

I'm certainly not pretending it meant nothing, it just...didn't.

Do women REALLY toss away their hymens so casually?

I didn't exactly toss it away and I don't regret losing it to whom and when I did, but the whole experience was mediocre at best, at worst, awful. I attach less than zero significance to the experience and don't think about it fondly.

There was no romance to it, it hurt and it was very, very awkward. I had no idea what I was doing and since I was an adult, my boyfriend at the time (as I later found) legitimately assumed I was lying when I said I was a virgin so he gave me no meaningful direction nor did anything to set my mind at ease.

In all honesty, I attach way more significance to the first time I had sex with my last bf or better yet, when I had my first orgasm via PIV with the same man.

Did you ever think that maybe you see things different because you're looking at it from a male perspective? Your hymen wasn't broken, you didn't bleed, you likely didn't experience any pain and you probably had an orgasm. None of those things were true for me.

EGOtyst · 2016-04-05T05:51:35+00:00

It was great. fun times. Actually had anal before PIV. Fun girl.

sen--sen · 2016-04-05T12:45:24+00:00

mine was great. i was with a guy i liked and trusted, he made sure i was okay the whole time, and it was the first time i realized you could have fun and laugh during sex, and that it wasn't something that had to be super serious and perfect (as i had previously believed).

the other thread about virginity was written by a guy who believed, troll or not, that a woman's life and existence revolved around the loss of her virginity and the man it was "lost" to. that's what was being scoffed at (along with the concept of virginity specific to women, in general), not the idea of someone having a meaningful first time.

damaskrose · 2016-04-06T00:35:38+00:00

In my (admittedly limited) experience, the first time with a new partner is never good, let alone the first time overall. The guy was nice enough, we dated for a couple years, but I rarely think of him anymore. Just because it happened in a LTR, that doesn't automatically make it special. The times I actually enjoyed sex (didn't happen until much later, with my husband) have been much more significant.

DrunkGirl69 · 2016-04-06T00:45:18+00:00

Yeah I was tired of being a virgin so I asked my friend to have sex with me. We got a little drunk it was fine.

sublimemongrel · 2016-04-06T02:07:51+00:00

Sure it was a good experience, it was with my "first love". But memorable in the grand scheme of things? No really.

1MillionTinyHorses · 2016-04-05T06:33:23+00:00

I went to this girl's party when in high school who I knew had a crush on me, because she had skinny dipped with me the previous week. I was so oblivious at the time that it took a girl completely disrobing in front of me for me to get a clue.

Protip: if a girl is willing to swim naked with you alone at night, she just might like you.

I arrived at her house late as I had just gotten back in town from a trip. Her house was was littered with passed out drunk teenagers and the tackiest nicknacks that she explained her "lame mom" bought.

We proceed to get hammered on her trampoline with a bottle of tequila. She tells me she likes me, so my natural response was to lick the side of her face and repeat, "Do you like me now!"

(I know, I was smooooth)

We start to makeout and then head to her room, but in the process her "friend"(guy who had been in love with her since forever) who had been watching us decides it is finally time to take action. He gets into her bed, as if to block us, and proceeds to make a drunken fool of himself by refusing to leave.

So, naturally I grab his feet and drag from the bed to the door and shut it behind him making sure to lock it (no one was going to cock block me apparently). He then proceeds to bang on the door for about 10 minutes before giving up as we try to drown out the sound by aggressively making out and laughing at the circumstances. I guess you could say it was a bit awkward.

One thing led to another, and I then proceeded to learn just how much condoms dull your sensations and how illusive the female orgasm is compared to all the porn I had researched.

She just screamed "oh god" like 7 times. Did she just come?

"Did you come?"

"No."

Okay, she is seriously hurting my back by digging her nails into it. She totally just came.

"Did you come?"

"No."

You get the picture.

We woke up in the morning to find her "friend" camped out by the door in a blanket. Weird. Everyone left, she made me breakfast, and we ended up dating for a little while.

I guess you could say it was pretty awesome.

My first time having sex without a condom on though, fucking magical in comparison, but remember, be safe kids.

TLDR: Doesn't matter, had breakfast.

UberBluntCruising · 2016-04-05T07:47:07+00:00

Well it was a good experience in that she was way out of my fucking league looks-wise.

But the actual sex itself was awkward and not really that fun compared to what I've done since because neither of us had any idea what we were actually doing.

If you're talking about emotional connection, fuck no, we broke up a few months later so she could date a 50 year old.

DemonConsulting · 2016-04-05T07:47:55+00:00

My first time was 1.5 years ago at 18 with my SO. First it was super awkward because I wasn't wet enough and we couldn't even get it in properly and I started to be anxious that there might be something physiologically wrong with me and my vagina was potentially too small (My hymen was already broken from tampons and sports though). Then when we did manage to squeeze it in, it hurt but I didn't want to say anything because I thought, that's how it's supposed to be and I didn't really know what I was supposed to do so I was just laying there and let him do his thing - said it was good and I was happy but really I was just happy do have gotten over the hurdle of having my first time and now being able to non-awkwardly have more sex. I acutally only told him 3 months after that I had been a virgin because I didn't want it to be awkward - I was sort of ashamed of being a virgin at 18.

Needless to say, the sex got a lot better over time, the second time was already much more enjoyable and it keeps reaching new hights ever since. Don't get me wrong, I really like the fact that he was my first and we got to explore everything together. It has lead to a lot of trust and compatibility between us but the first time was only "special" because I finally decided to do it and it was the first important step for me in exploring sex with my SO.

Katniss_Granger · 2016-04-05T10:04:21+00:00

It hurt a lot but it was with someone I really liked who was kind and gentle about it so I'd say it was a good experience. It was certainly meaningful :) but I also understand that some people juat dont attach so much importance to it, after all it is just the first mingling of your body parts, there's no real reason for it to be a big deal.

ozymandias271 · 2016-04-05T14:25:28+00:00

By the time I lost my virginity, I was seventeen and sufficiently sexually frustrated that my standards had dropped to "sex between us is not a crime, they have genitalia".

Also I lost my hymen when I fell off a horse when I was eight.

prodigy2throw · 2016-04-05T14:31:51+00:00

Lost mine to a pro. Turns out I may have had the best experience out of all you. Though it honestly still wasn't that amazing.

Melvynman · 2016-04-05T19:29:32+00:00

The hymen is not an intact protective barrier, that is a myth! Some women have flexible hymens and other tear during lots of different activity growing up including sex. The hymen can lose flexibility at any age causing pain and bleeding do to intercourse and or other activity.

A male first sexual experience resulting in orgasm will imprint that experienc for life and be addicting like a drug. That imprint will be a driving force in his sexuality. Like a drug you will want to repeat it over and over, again and again.

oryxic · 2016-04-06T01:48:01+00:00

"hmph, this RPer thinks virginity matters, time to rebel by pretending it meant NOTHING", reflexive rebelliousness in this little debate we're having here? Do women REALLY toss away their hymens so casually? Lol.

I don't generally evaluate my own experiences against what someone else thinks matters.

At the time I thought it was a very grand, romantic gesture. He'd just taken me to a jewelry store and we'd looked at diamond rings. We watched Serendipity and celebrated our anniversary. Turns out he was shopping for his long distance girlfriend who stalked me for eight months continuously when she found out what he'd been up to.

The painful and unpleasant event held a promise of growing together before I realized what was up. Afterward it turned out to be an extremely lackluster sexual event that was painful and unpleasant both emotionally and physically.

LaDuquesaDeAfrica · 2016-04-06T02:24:50+00:00

It was very romantic, my bf at the time had taken me out for a lovely dinner and we went for a nice walk. It was both our first times, we loved each other but I still think it was a bigger deal for him than for me. He cried afterwards... I still thought it was very meh. So take from that what you will.

[deleted] · 2016-04-06T04:34:59+00:00

No...I had this idea of how I thought I'd lose it, never happened. One day I thought, eh, I am tired of my friends bugging me about it. We were childhood friends, we reunited briefly...I trusted him so I did it. He didn't know. I broke my hymen sometime in elementary school doing I believe gymnastics or horseback riding...or a combo, one of those broke it.

goatismycopilot · 2016-04-06T10:42:29+00:00

I remember mine was pretty "meh" and I was confused by why sex was supposed to be super awesome. I am sure my bf at the time had some experience but not much so he hardly knew what he was doing. I was generally underwhelmed and it was not for a few years when I dated a man long term in university who wanted to make it an actual experience for us that I grasped it could be fun.

MissMaude · 2016-04-05T13:27:46+00:00

Eh, I was drunk and, while he was gentle and lovely, it was not all that memorable. I don't pretend my virginity didn't matter or that I didn't take losing it seriously. I married the first man I slept with but I reject this notion that a woman's first time is sooo magical she cannot bond with any man after. We've had way better sex since then.

GoldPilot · 2016-04-05T05:26:51+00:00

Yeah, it was pretty meaningless. I don't remember the girl's name, and it took place in the back of my older brother's car. I only managed to seal the deal because I had an amazing wing-man.

Frankly, I'm glad that's how it worked out. I don't have a gold standard that I want to recapture; it's all been (mostly) uphill from there.

TheChemist158 · 2016-04-05T05:38:52+00:00

I wonder if there's an element of "hmph, this RPer thinks virginity matters, time to rebel by pretending it meant NOTHING", reflexive rebelliousness in this little debate we're having here? Do women REALLY toss away their hymens so casually?

My first time was honest to God not impressive or romantic. I didn't make any effort to make it special, nor did I consider it special at the time.

Plugawy_Nedznik · 2016-04-05T17:47:40+00:00

Holy shit the responses in this thread are pure bloop gold.

"Oh well we just met and he kind of put penis in my vagina. Don't even remember his name. Also I was drunk at a time. So it wasn't really magical/memorable/important."

No shit! Maybe if you put even the most minimal amount of effort into losing your virginity with someone you actually give half a fuck about it'd be better?

rapunzelly · 2016-04-06T02:41:20+00:00

My first time was pretty amazing, as a guy I'd wanted really really bad had decided he like me enough to chase me, for months. I was extremely crazy about him but also terrified, so it took a long time to work my way into it. It was an intense emotional experience, only a bit of discomfort, and I felt energetic and glowing when we were done. We went at it again an hour later. I was already in love with him and was surprised that having sex didn't make me feel more in love, though it was extremely fun. Looking back, I have to groan at how bad I must have been, though I think my adoration must have been nice for him. He didn't have great skills and was not very generous in bed, but hey, it all worked for me at the time.

dopesk1 · 2016-04-05T06:40:06+00:00

The most perfectly compatible girl ive ever been with was my first. it was just too well fitting. She had dark straight hair, nice face shape, and sapphire blue eyes. we we're into the same stuff, both 18, we met through friends. We had made out at the club a few times, then i didnt see her for 6 months, i had lost her number. then one evening i saw her number on a bit of paper, called her up she said come over so i did and we banged that night. We were both so into each other. It ruled. The whole Physical intimacy experience tripped me the fck out. It was everything i hoped it would be.

speed3_freak · 2016-04-05T08:57:11+00:00

16 and had a great experience. She wasn't a virgin, was 18, and her parents were out of town. Fooled around in the pool, then took it upstairs. Both of us came.

18 dated a 16 year old girl and I took her's. Christmas night with her parents downstairs. We fucked for an hour and a half altogether. It was great. Dated her for another 7 years; one of my only regrets was dating the same person all through college.

DebatePony · 2016-04-05T12:06:40+00:00

Yes my first time was great. Not great in the way that I came for like an hour, but great as in I don't regret it for a second and it is a very fond memory.

My boyfriend and I had been together for four years and it just seemed right, and it was. I had been raised in a very religious family and had been taught that sex was only supposed to be in marriage and while I had slight angst over this, we did end up getting married so I guess it all worked out.

My hymen had been broken years before either by playing soccer or horse riding. Either way it still hurt but at least we didn't have to worry about much blood.

UA_Hammer · 2016-04-05T14:13:50+00:00

My first LTR was super scared of getting pregnant so we did hand stuff and oral for months before piv.

Huge girth + virgin tightness = bad time. I remember thinking to myself "wow, that sucked, I'd rather just have a bj". She had fun though.

I'm glad it was with her and not a college ONS. The whole thing where we had to go back to the store twice because regular size and then magnum condoms were too small was hilarious to her (in a good way) but outing myself as super virginal to a frat party girl wouldn't have been as fun.

shogunofsarcasm · 2016-04-05T16:07:42+00:00

OK so, my first kiss and first Bj were definitely unpleasant and sort of "forced" on me. I decided after that that everything I did would be on my terms. I wanted to lose it as it was a bit of a running joke in my group of friends and because I was curious to see if it was as good as what people say. So I talked to a friend I trusted. Discussed that it was something I wanted to do. We took a few weeks leading up to it and then it happened. It wasn't that special or memorable I just felt like my curiosity had been satisfied. We continued things for a couple years after that, eventually getting to an on/off again awkward love thing like a year in to it but we both knew it was never going to last. There are other situations with him that are much more memorable and special thanks the first time. Same goes for my boyfriend now. I have a lot of special memories with him and it has nothing to do with my virginity. It really wasn't a huge deal to me. I felt pretty the same before and after. It was the experience I expected.

hedonism_bot_69 · 2016-04-05T16:37:09+00:00

I feel the same way homie, my first time was very emotional for both of us. Also while I at first agreed with your assessment of blue pillers just trying to be obstinate it might be that 1st times are different for men and women or they experience different emotions after. For me I felt victorious, maybe for her she felt she lost something special and tries to downplay the event.

disposable_pants · 2016-04-07T22:37:04+00:00

I wonder if there's an element of "hmph, this RPer thinks virginity matters, time to rebel by pretending it meant NOTHING", reflexive rebelliousness in this little debate we're having here?

This is absolutely a factor. Blue pillers will often disagree with TRP no matter what it says. It's not hard to find pushback on something as reasonable as "men have to approach women or they'll be left alone," for example.

tonylocklin86 · 2016-05-13T22:27:18+00:00

I did I lost my v to a girl she thought I woz good an told her mate who dropped my pants in the middle of the street an sucked me off an went in the flats an I fucked her to so I fucked to girls the night I lost my v

nokanjaijo · 2016-04-06T23:40:26+00:00

My first time was amazing and meaningful and I'm smiling now remembering it and him. Haven't thought about him in years. But, I am a bit of an outlier as my hymen didn't break until three years and many sexual intimacies later. Is that when I actually lost my virginity because that was not amazing. That was a weird night.

I am a woman and I think RP is loony tunes but I also don't know how this relates to PPD, either. Did somebody argue that a meaningful first sexual encounter is evidence that RP is right? If so, do tell. I can't even imagine what that would be.

I wonder if there's an element of "hmph, this RPer thinks virginity matters, time to rebel by pretending it meant NOTHING", reflexive rebelliousness in this little debate we're having here? Do women REALLY toss away their hymens so casually? Lol.

I don't think virginity does matter and I still don't see how my amazing first time having sex could possibly belie that.

I wonder if you are making an effort to seem condescending, like as a debate tactic or if you are genuinely condescending but so much so that it's so over the top that it seems fake, like a caricature.

I'm just saying, you're not immune to appearing to pretend.

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Interversity · 2016-04-05T05:45:02+00:00

My first was awesome. My best friend's best friend from her home state, visiting for a week. Liked the girl, she liked me, we communicated well, we both came, and it was raw so it was an otherworldly experience. Still have her on snapchat, left on very good terms. Apparently this is highly uncommon so I'm glad it went well for both of us

EmpressofMars · 2016-04-05T17:31:57+00:00

I'm hoping it can turn out at least semi-ok, otherwise the aftermath of catching a husband is gonna suck, ya dig?

Title	Anyone actually had a good experience while losing their virginity?
Author	betterdeadthanbeta
Upvotes	7
Comments	85
Date	April 5, 2016 5:11 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4df1ep/anyone_actually_had_a_good_experience_while/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/anyone-actually-had-a-good-experience-while-losing.275286 https://theredarchive.com/post/275286

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