Does TRP truly believe that "women are like children"?

polyhooly · 2014-03-04T14:50:37+00:00

About a year ago a Red Piller who had been on the forum since its inception wrote his opinion on the state of the sub, and he was not happy. One of the things he brought up with this notion that women are teenagers. He wrote that it is not that women have the mental capacity, including the self control of teenagers, that women stop maturing at a certain point, and this permeates every aspect of their lives, but rather it meant that the same stereotypes that apply to high school girls in regards to the boys they like: the popular jock who has a car, meaning that just like that familiar stereotype of teenaged girls, grown women seek out confident men with resources. That is what TRP originally meant when they claim women are still like teenagers, and the message had been warped by overly emotional, hurt men with a vendetta against women. At least according to that guy. I wish I could find the comment. If anyone else can I would greatly appreciate it.

This whole "women are teenagers" thing is just a way to patronize and vilify women. It is an excuse to dismiss them, make them less intimidating, and often set them up as the bad guy. There is no evidence that suggests grown women have the same mental capacities of teenagers. The contrary, actually. In addition, while TRP can assert this crackpot theory that women have been taught their entire lives that they are not accountable for anything, I too can assert the same about many men. Someone, either here or on TBP recently pointed out that in the world of TRP, women are not only held accountable for themselves, they are held accountable for the behavior of men. TRP endorsed RoK recenty told us how high school girls not havig sex with nerds is the cause of school shootings. Another common theme among TRP is that I used to e a nice guy, until women forced me to be an asshole. How's that for accountability?

TRP loves to tell me that they know these assessments of women are true because that's what their experiences demonstrate, but they fail to entertain their biases. Many RPers have fashioned themselves experts on the female psyche. They can then conveniently start with a conclusion: women don't mature beyond their teenaged years. They are overgrown children, and then they can fit any shred of evidence neatly into this worldview. I'm sure RPer response here will make some excuse as to why men flying into raging temper tantrums is not an example of men behaving childishly. Men have excuses for their bad behavior, women are just pathological children.

I agree with just about everything you wrote. Men and women both have the capability to act like children. One gender does not have the market cornered on this. But like a lot if things, the way this behavior manifests is often different between men and women. Women become passive agreessive and cry about shit. Men get belligerent and can often fly into raging temper tantrum. Both genders can behave both of these ways, though.

ahostofeyelashes · 2014-03-05T05:25:03+00:00

This is one of those topics I'm a little surprised many people are even replying to seriously. I like debate and love to engage in it with those who hold different opinions to mine. There is, however, a line of sorts, beyond which I just find it futile to engage. For example, 9-11 truthers. OK, you believe George Bush did it. No, I won't be discussing it with you.

Do you really, truly, in your hearts of hearts, believe women are forever immature/'children' and that emotional, mental and intellectual maturity is exclusively a male thing? Well then. Good luck with that and good day!

shitlordlucy · 2014-03-04T19:26:51+00:00

Not every guy on TRP says this, but it is the general belief. I think most people are like children to some extent, especially men pissing and moaning over being "friendzoned" and trying to hump whatever walks, but certainly there's a female equivalent. Not suprisingly, men who act like walking humpatrons and go to clubs to pick up young dumb women are going to find women who act like children. Also, these girls (IME) tend to be drunk most of the time which makes pretty much anyone act like a child.

The stuff the men on TRP describe women doing is really childish, but I wouldn't say it applies to every woman ever, since they're usually specifically looking for whoever is "hottest" at a nightclub, and those women are more often than not complete children.

[deleted] · 2014-03-04T16:19:08+00:00

Professional investments, such as their jobs and finances, they excel at pursuing objectively.

Even this is suspect. There's some evidence that women (in the aggregate) are better at investing than men.

I do think men are naturally more likely to take risks. And when a big risk pays off it brings disproportionate rewards. Those are the ones that make the news. We don't hear about the failures -- millions of which occur every day in the market -- unless they're really spectacular. So women may have fewer home runs but more singles in the aggregate.

pillburt · 2014-03-04T14:57:51+00:00

I think that women suffer fewer consequences than men, (though not necessarily by their own doing, men enable this), and therefore have a different view on responsibility. I think men translate this to childish behavior.

I can give some examples from women I've observed in my life-

In a bar, women picking fights with guys that could literally kill them. Something guys know not to do. When girls do it, they can usually get the guy kicked out of the bar. She will likely emerge unscathed.
Making poor financial choices, mom and dad can bail them out, or they can end up at a women's shelter.
Hot girls on dates- prod men to be bold and cross boundaries. I've been on a date where a girl will challenge me with some illegal activity (fireworks, entering restricted places) and of course, you cannot shy away from it because it's a shit test. She wants a guy willing to be that brazen. The catch, of course, is that she will never actually at risk herself. This, of course displays her lack of understanding that real consequences can fuck up real parts of my life that I've been building. For her, it's a game. If I don't do it, she'll find somebody interesting who can.
Shoplifting, not because she needed anything, but because apparently her life is so absent thrills. If she gets caught, it will likely be a slap on the wrist. Men I know don't take such unnecessary risks.

Women have no need to grasp adulthood consequences, since they rarely experience them.

Check out /r/pussypass for more evidence of just this.

Now, somebody here will probably just try to make the point that it's men's faults for treating women with such privilege, and I agree that society enables this. But it doesn't change that these are over grown children.

Now, obviously I've met countless women that this stereotype doesn't fit. Most women I know, in fact, don't.

But the principles don't change. The women who don't fit this stereotype have overcome in spite of our culture, not because of it.

I don't think the culture will ever change, I think it's built into our genetic coding to coddle women. When the waterworks starts, I often find myself having to re-group in my mind to avoid falling victim to it.

twentyfoursevensex · 2014-03-04T17:12:13+00:00

So I am seeing a lot of discussion how special privileges for women and how they are not responsible for their actions. Can someone from TRP compile a list of female privilege as well as actions that women are not held responsible for?

lbspredh · 2014-03-04T15:31:13+00:00

How can it be anything but anecdotal? "Like a child" is an unquantifiable value that's bordering on metaphor

rulenumber303 · 2014-03-04T18:12:39+00:00

Aren't a lot of them middle aged men who are proud of dating lots and lots of 22 year olds? Heh. Run a nursery and you'll spend time round babies, what a surprise!

[deleted] · 2014-03-04T19:04:46+00:00

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R3W1ND · 2014-03-04T16:35:06+00:00

Non-red piller here.

I'd say the red pill consensus is very much that women are like children, for the red pill intents and purposes. The ones who are more into actually debating feminists probably wouldn't put it like that (for appearance reasons maybe?), but I think it's an undeniable implication of their view on how women function.

Even if nobody on that side ever put the dots together to make this comparison, which of course they have done many times, likening women psychologically to children is pretty accurate, if one takes their core ideas about them to be true.

My point is, it doesn't hold much sway if redpillers go "nahhh I don't think that!", because it's a completely logical extension of the notions of women that are completely core to the red pill. There's very little room to be red pill if you genuinely don't agree with this comparison, IMO.

GayLubeOil · 2014-03-04T23:43:23+00:00

Basically OP read my story about how I lovingly calmed down my 20 year old girlfriend with yogurt and pomegranate , and flipped out. I dont like this! What do the experts say about this! I need an academic or a study to dictate my every thought because, im incapable of holding my own opinion based on life expiriance. Then she randomly accuses all men of being violent against women. Nice try feminist. But if you knew anything about men you would know that men are very uneasy about touching women in anger. They are taught all of their loves never to hit women. Men don't like doing martial arts with women even when explicitly told that its okay. Not wanting to hit women is a fundamental instinct that most men have. Take your shaming tactics somewhere else.

For a heterosexual man it doesn't matter who's more childish men or women. Because Im not trying to fuck dudes. I don't care how they feel about me. Im not trying to maintain a lasting loving relationship with a man, so it realy doesn't matter.

Relationships are built on love. Love is about taking care of each other. One of the ways I comfort my girlfriend is feeding her nutritious food if shes hungry. Is that so bad?

If your a bitter feminist it is. A strong independent women gets enraged by a story of a man lovingly caring for his girlfriend. Shes so strong and independent that she don't need no man, but apparently she wants a man.

I wrote about how much I love my girlfriend. How I care for her. How I feed her. How I love her. I told my fellow men to do the same. The post was quite popular apparently.

Then all the blue pill feminists got mad. Well sorry guys. If you are so offended by a loving relationship, i guess there is something wrong with you. I guess there is something wrong with bluepill because you see all men as violent rapists and abusers and are enraged by normal heterosexual love.

Wolfwoodd · 2014-03-04T15:04:37+00:00

Women aren't children, but they generally like it when I banter with them as if they were children. Flirting, for me, is just teasing.. and teasing is something that kids do. Also, women like that I don't take them too seriously when they are very obviously being overly-emotional. I don't argue with them and I don't let them sway me just because they are upset. It's the same way I would treat a child throwing a fit.

Moreover, "treat women like children" is good advice for guys who have approach anxiety. After all, nobody's ever worried about getting rejected by a 5 year old. Plus, guys will then approach playfully.. which is generally good.

On the other hand, I think some TRP guys take this concept too far in order to tap into the bitterness that the newer guys are feeling towards women / society.

masterrod · 2014-03-04T15:03:26+00:00

There are some real deep psychological ideas in this thought. And it is true, for both men and women.

When people are are in a serious relationship, there are times when you will touch someone so deeply with something that they will literally act like their childself. This is well documented, and not limited to romantic relationships.

Now, in regarding women in relationships acting like children. Women are like children in some ways, in that they maybe emotional about things a man may not understand, but if he let's the smoke clear not exacerbate the emotional outburst, you can advance the relationship.
This might be akin to letting a child run around in circles till they pass out and go to sleep.

Surely,RP could be more eloquent in their descriptions. But the fact remains both men and women in serious relationships will act like their child self from time to time.

moonlandings · 2014-03-04T14:53:49+00:00

My personal take on the matter is pretty straightforward. Yes, women are large children. The reasoning why is more nuanced

Consider this: all persons have rights and responsibilities. A person with no rights but all responsibilities is a slave. A person with no responsibilities but retaining rights is a child. Women in western society, particularly feminists, consistently seek to absolve themselves of any consequences for their actions, therefore they are children. How do they seek to do this? Initiating 70% of divorces and still expecting spousal support, demanding the "choice" of what to do with their body but refusing to accept the responsibility of safe sex, claiming abuse anytime a woman violently assaults a man for any reason (Jodi Arias is a perfect example.) Along with consistent lobbying to the government for care and protection. So yes, women are children and so TRP treats them as such.

potopotp · 2014-03-05T03:05:20+00:00

Treating women like children works.

Because there's a lot more women looking for a man to take care of her.

Rather than looking for a man to take care of.

Yes, perhaps there are all sorts of TBPers who will chime in about supporting deadbeat men, or their shitty exes that used them for money. Yes, I can agree that you were with men you were taking care of.

But please, do not tell me that you were looking for a relationship like that.

Treating everyone like children is in actuality not a bad way of handling things though. You feel less upset about the mean shit people say to you when you consider them children (for who else but a child would bully). I mean, a newbie TRPer has a huge ego problem to overcome. By treating women as children, when the girl bruises his ego, he doesn't really feel upset and go into narcissistic rage if he can remember it's only a child telling him these things that upset him.

robesta · 2014-03-04T16:12:17+00:00

Most women are in many ways. In my experience, women want attention. Women want boundaries. Women want someone who won't take their emotional outbursts seriously. Women want a strong man who they can borrow strength from.

This isn't too say women will eat their entire bag of Halloween candy if you let them. It's language created by men for men to understand women. It doesn't sound good to tell a woman that women are like children. It's purely for TRP men to understand a proper behavioral context in their own interactions with the opposite sex.

Women could easily make the same argument in context to male competitive behavior and I have heard that argument made by women.

PaulRivers10 · 2014-03-07T19:32:39+00:00

That being said: I know that women are much more empathetic than men, but I do not believe that makes them more emotional. Typically, I think (not all the time) men are more likely to get carried away by their emotions. They're more likely to murder on an impulse, for example. They're more likely to get angry. Yet they also seem to be better at controlling their emotions in situations that they are not already emotionally invested in. Professional investments, such as their jobs and finances, they excel at pursuing objectively. However, when it comes to aspects of their lives they are already emotionally invested in, they seem very, very prone to fly off the handle. A man might throw his PS3 against the wall and shatter it into a million pieces, or kick the shit out of his girlfriend in a fit of rage. Women, on the other hand, get sad. If something goes wrong, they experience despair more often than frustration. Additionally they seem somewhat emotionally invested in most everything, including areas where this may not be appropriate or productive, such as when choosing a career or compiling a presentation. However, when push comes to shove, a woman will not let her emotions go so far out of reach that they put her in prison as men so often do.

I completely disagree with your idea that "However, when it comes to aspects of their lives they are already emotionally invested in, they seem very, very prone to fly off the handle."

I don't agree with many of the things you wrote above, but I think you're misascribing the reasons for the things I would agree with.

Like in dancing, men are socialized to be the lead, while women are socialized to be the follow. As a man, I find that men are expected to be far more in control of their emotions than women are. The difference is that:

Men emotionally want to do something about their situation themselves when they're upset, because they're trained to act. Women want to convince other people that something needs to be done about their situation and have it happen without them doing something directly.

Let's take some examples. A man wants to learn to dance. What is he expected to do? He's expected to go out and take dance classes (lead). A woman wants to learn to dance. What's she expected to do? She's expected to get all of her friends to go out dancing (follow). How many guys do you see who come out by themselves to go dancing vs how many girls who will only go out if there's a group?

A man is physically threatened by another man. What's expected? That he can handle himself (lead). A woman is physically threatened by a man, what's expected? That the cops, guys who are around, etc will protect her (follow).

A man is a physically abusive relationship with a women. What is expected of him? He should get out of it himself (lead). A woman is in a physically abusive relationship with a man. What's expected? That the cops, her friends, etc, will "help" her get out of it because she's a "victim" and for (long winded reasons) somehow can't do it herself (follow).

A man likes a girl - what's expected of him? That he will pursue her, convince her to come to things, etc (lead). A woman like a man - what's expected of her? That's she'll be able to entice him into pursuing her (follow).

If you think "empathetic" means "being able to understand and change other peoples emotions", then yes, women tend to be more empathetic. But that's because a follow has more need to be able to understand and get other people to do what they want without being direct about it than a lead does. It's just like how employees under a boss need to be able to tell more about what the boss is thinking than the boss needs to understand what their employees are thinking. The boss just says "we're doing this now" and that's it. The employees, though, have to convince the boss in order to get something changed.

As a guy, I find that I'm am far more expected to be in control of my emotions than a woman is. Part of this is because a woman flying off the handle usually involves her trying to convince other people that something should be done, which often keeps the worst thing from happening. A man flying off the handle tries to do those things himself, which is much easier to have it happen but worse if it's something like violence. As a guy,

tl;dr - I think men are far more in emotional control than women are. Men are expected to be because when they lose control of their emotions they expect to do something about the situation themselves - in negative situations like violence, they do something violent themselves. Women are far more free to not be in control of their emotions, partially because when they lose control they want to convince others to do something about the situation. In negative situations like violence, they're conditioned to try to get others to do it or to get group consensus that it should be done, which greatly limits any negative actions being taken.

A man might throw his PS3 against the wall in a fit of rage, a woman tell all her friends that he's a gigantic asshole because he's on his PS3 all the time. A man who will kick the shit out of his girlfriend is often counterbalanced by a woman who will try to kick the shit out of her boyfriend (or a guy she doesn't like) for her, or try to get him arrested on something she made up.

If you go to downtown clubs, you can see this in action - I always see two types of people looking for fights. Drunk guys trying to get into a fight themselves, and drunk girls trying to get guys to fight over them. I've seen the girl hit the other guy herself, but more often she's trying to convince the guy she's with that some other guy needs to get his ass kicked because he's being disrespectful to her, or he said something, or he's "looking at her wrong" or etc etc etc.

Note: The vast and overwhelming number of both men and women avoid violence, in america at least. But you mentioned men being violent, in my experience there's the same of women who do not directly engage in it themselves but instead try to get other people to engage in it for them (including trying to get people arrested, or trying to get the bouncer to throw someone out).

Aerobus · 2014-03-04T21:09:58+00:00

Women are not children, that's given, but they certainly act like children, which is why TRP feels we need to treat them as such.

Women don't take responsibility for their actions, and the law is heavily skewed in their favor so that they don't have to ( go to /r/pussypass).

Women get upset for the stupidest shit, such as getting mad at an SO for something that happened in A DREAM. They'll cry about it, pout, and basically throw a tantrum, expecting a man to cave. We read countless anecdotes like this.

Women are overly emotional and not logical enough, and aren't able to reason as well as men. They don't see reason in what we say, and when they express their problems, they don't want any logical solutions, they just want us to listen and hear their opinions in a deeper voice.

So, instead of treating women like adults in order to properly shape how they interact with others, it's much easier for men to simply treat them like children, make them feel happy, and then get sex from them.

AdmiralVonJackass · 2014-03-04T16:11:16+00:00

It's a humorous comparison, more than a serious analysis.

SweetiePieJonas · 2014-03-04T21:51:47+00:00

Two things:

1) This is a generalization. There are men who are more childish than the average woman and women who are more mature than the average man. That should go without saying.

2) Women aren't children; they're just more childish than men. This isn't to say that they aren't intelligent, or even that they are more ruled by their emotions. The main thing is that they tend to avoid responsibility, like children do.

[deleted] · 2014-03-04T15:35:01+00:00

I think this is a way to make women seem less intimidating and encourage a more playful interaction.

[deleted] · 2014-03-04T14:42:17+00:00

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[deleted] · 2014-03-27T15:41:13+00:00

The child/female comparison is not meant to be an indictment of female intelligence. Is has nothing to do with intelligence. It's merely an observation that they share: lack of accountability for their actions, making decisions emotionally rather than logically except through conscious effort, constant testing of those close to them to determine boundaries, willingness to manipulate to gain something they want, self-absorption, etc.

Can men have these exact same qualities? Absolutely! The difference is a majority of men are quickly disabused of these traits as they grow up. Looking at your examples:

A man exploding in anger over something is immediately frowned upon. He's throwing a temper tantrum! However, a woman breaking down crying evokes immediate sympathy and automatically shifts blame to any transgressor whether they are guilty or not. So while both acted like children, the man is corrected to a more adult behavior while the woman is reinforced in her childlike response.

This benevolent sexism informs the male/female dynamic and thus is an important part of red pill theory.

Title	Does TRP truly believe that "women are like children"?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	24
Comments	250
Date	March 4, 2014 2:17 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1zj2sq/does_trp_truly_believe_that_women_are_like/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-trp-truly-believe-that-women-are-like.286123 https://theredarchive.com/post/286123

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