664,807 posts

Wife Moved Out

by themerovingian01 | October 09, 2019 | askMRP

29 upvotes

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So for those who have been following me I have an update. My wife of 6.5 years and her two kids moved out this weekend. It was a bit shocking to come home to a half-empty house. I admit I lost it a couple times. Even though she didn't treat me all that well I still have a big sense of loss and sadness. Sometimes I think I miss the life we had more than the actual person. Or at least the person I first met before things went sour a couple years ago.

At this point she wants space and doesn't want to give an answer on if or when she'll be back. She doesn't want to lose me and asked me not to see other people and she is doing the same.

Part of me wants to work on things and part of me wants to just move on.

My next decision will be how long to wait before filing for divorce.

I did tell her I'm putting a time limit on the separation. I'm not going to be living in limbo. She complained that I'm pressuring her and giving her an ultimatum.

So my question is, how do I get over her as fast as possible and kill the loss, sadness, and angry in it's tracks?


Post Information
Title Wife Moved Out
Author themerovingian01
Upvotes 29
Comments 161
Date 09 October 2019 05:30 PM UTC (9 months ago)
Subreddit askMRP
Link https://theredarchive.com/post/289512
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/askMRP/comments/dfkdi2/wife_moved_out/
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Comments

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"66 points67 points  (7 children) | Copy

Congratulations.

You're not waiting for her answer, right (?) - since it's your fucking decision that matters.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red16 points17 points  (5 children) | Copy

Some fucking guys have it so easy and they have no motherfucking clue.

Fuck this faggot.

Sent you a PM Bb.

[–]BobbyPeruRed Beret24 points25 points  (4 children) | Copy

Man, this is like a train wreck in slow motion. Somewhere down the line, she will go back to OP, her back burner guy... after she gets pumped and dumped a time or 2. Then, OP will attribute it to something he did... and the wreck saga continues

First,

Part of me wants to work on things and part of me wants to just move on.

Then,

My next decision will be how long to wait before filing for divorce.

Wait for what? For her to get a nice firm branch and then tell you ISLYBINILWYA?

Spoiler alert - She will be the one who files

[–]johneyapocalypseThe one that says "Bad Motherfucker"8 points9 points  (0 children) | Copy

Somebody gave me 100 cool coins a few days ago and I was gonna give 'em to red cuz he said he was PMing me his penis, but since you replied to him, I just gave 'em to you. Congratulations, (B)obby(P)eru.

Damn! And like that all my coins are gone. I was expecting a bit more.

Maybe fireworks or a cake.

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red10 points11 points  (2 children) | Copy

She will be the one who files

I mean, I dont give a fuck about OP but here is what I would do knowing what I know now, and if I was OP.

Change the locks.

Hit the gym.

Kick my feet up, load Tinder/Bumble.

Be balls deep in next bitch in 5 days.

I would let her file and do everything. I would try and shoot for a default divorce. They have no kids. She took her shit. Should be easy to do once the waiting period is up.

If she hasnt filed any paperwork in 90 days, then I would.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 17 points18 points  (1 child) | Copy

Locks - Check
Gym - Check
Tinder/Bumble - Check
Balls deep in a new girl - Check

[–]red-sfpplusHard Core Red9 points10 points  (0 children) | Copy

Everyone has goals.

[–][deleted] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He misses his life... which means he’s scared of what tomorrow will bring.

He says she treats him like shit. OP needs to move on, lift, stfu, sidebar.

It’s normal to have emotions right now. But OP knows in his brain the right answer. He just wants us to confirm it.

[–]bliceroquququq43 points44 points  (30 children) | Copy

Your last post said you told her that if she moved out, you were 100% done. She moved out.

[–]SeamusAwl36 points37 points  (11 children) | Copy

She called his bluff and then upped the ante by telling him to not see anyone while she is gone. The kicker is she told him there is no ETA on the return. Her respect for the OP is in the negative numbers area. And the faggot wants to work it out?

OP.... What are you doing posting to a bunch of internet strangers instead of calling your lawyer with her new address to send the walking papers to.

[–]An_Actual_Politician13 points14 points  (10 children) | Copy

Haven't read all the way down the thread yet but I'll add there's absolutely no way on God's green Earth that she hasn't branch swung already. She's hopping on rando dick but doesn't want him to enjoy himself with other women. Her imperative tells her allowing her meal ticket/betabux to fuck other women risks impregnating another woman, which risks dilution of his assets that he "owes" her.

OP - go get yourself laid by someone other than your "wife", because that's what she's doing. Maybe it'll help break this spell she apparently has you under.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 3 points4 points  (9 children) | Copy

I have and it is working well.

[–]An_Actual_Politician3 points4 points  (8 children) | Copy

Good stuff. Can you get one or two more plates going just to make sure you don't wind up with oneitis.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 3 points4 points  (7 children) | Copy

I can sure as hell try!

[–]An_Actual_Politician1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

Do you travel at all for business? It's fish in a barrel if you do.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yes! I have a trip next week and another one in Nov.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Where do you have the best luck meeting women while traveling?

[–]An_Actual_Politician18 points19 points  (2 children) | Copy

I was thinking of punching up a post for the mods. Kind of a how-to I've put together off my own trial and error.

I'm usually only in a town for a few days, so nights are limited. I use Tinder and Bumble, with the best results on Bumble by far.

Fire up the app as soon as you land. Fresh meat in an area (especially a medium to small city) puts you at the top of the deck for the women who live there. The algorithm is totally rigged in your favor for a change. Start matching with women.

Be funny. Be brief. When they ask serious questions be funny again. Never be serious. Eventually let it slip that you're only in town for a few nights but are looking for someone to be your tour guide, but never lead with it. Only disclose after you've built a little funny rapport. I can go into more details but that provides more than enough plausible deniability on their part.

Uber to the restaurant/bar, and if she offers to drive you back to the hotel - you'll be balls deep within 90 minutes of arrival. Every time. In the parking lot make a big deal about some goofy bullshit in your hotel room (good for stories while out) then invite her in to see it for herself. Mystery stains on the couch, last time it was half sized pillows, time before that it was the sleepnumber bed. It doesn't matter.

Above all else be fun and funny while out them. Talk up the Mr. Successful Businessman side of your game because that's the fantasy they're indulging in, whether you know it or not.

I had a streak of 5 trips in a row at one point but my last two I only had one night free (both times Monday nights - brutal) and couldn't get logistics to align. But the matches are always there.

Oh - and for your profile dont come across like a betabux talking up your ability to provide. You'll get too many matches with women looking for LTRs. My close percentage increased a decent amount when I swapped one single pic out and added a shirtless one (swimming or a candid doing something fun, no shirtless selfies). That's enough of a dog whistle to catch the attention of the ovulators swiping out there.

If you aren't in good enough shape to post a shirtless pic then this whole thing probably won't work, unless you are ok fucking obese purple haired women.

Oh - and don't drink too much while out or it might lead to her getting drunk too just by keeping pace. You dont want to bring drunk strangers back to fuck in your room in 2019. You'll catch an after the fact rape charge eventually doing stupid shit like that.

Get that "had a great time" IM from them afterwards and/or just walk them out an exit with cameras, holding hands and kissing goodbye and that's your golden ticket if it turns into some kind of worse case regret scenario on her part. I've never had anything even close to that though, so don't let thorough planning scare you off trying.

[–]BarracudaRP2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is good stuff, I'm looking forward to your full post.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I sent you a PM.

[–]themerovingian01[S] -5 points-4 points  (17 children) | Copy

In her BPD mind I forced her to move out because I said the $10,000 apartment cancellation fee was complete bullshit and she should have consequences for her actions.

[–]tspitsatgp12 points13 points  (8 children) | Copy

Is she actually diagnosed BPD or are you just throwing around words to protect your ego?

[–]themerovingian01[S] 7 points8 points  (7 children) | Copy

She was diagnosed by a therapist. Who she quit after a few sessions because they "weren't clicking."

[–]tspitsatgp7 points8 points  (5 children) | Copy

Well if that’s the case dude, do you know what’s cool? Setting up the house just the way you like it or saying fuck it and moving some place new.

You have been gifted an exit from a sub-optimal situation.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 2 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

Well it's my house and I like it. I've already started buying and building new furniture.

She stopped by to get some more of her shit and was like "i wish you would have built all this cool stuff while I was there."

[–]tspitsatgp3 points4 points  (3 children) | Copy

Yeah. They do that. If she wasn’t crying, she will be next time. It doesn’t mean or change anything, just emotions. STFU and get your divorce papers sorted.

[–]Iammrp27 points8 points  (0 children) | Copy

He won't. In a week he'll post "hey guyz! We're back together! Isn't that grate!" Actually I bet he just stops posting

[–]themerovingian01[S] -3 points-2 points  (1 child) | Copy

She's still in the excited phase. I think reality will sink in within a couple weeks. Meanwhile I'll be soldiering on. Next week I have a business trip to vegas where there will be a lot of hotties.

[–]redismyfuture2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Just went to Vegas this summer. Vegas is full of hotties, and it's also full of good looking men. If you're an 8 at home, you're a 6 in Vegas.

[–]arm_candy1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Fuck off. She was not clinically diagnosed as BPD. Your last post makes it clear that this was an off the cuff remark made by your therapist. Your therapist saying that your wife is “almost certainly” BPD is not at all the same as your wife taking the relevant tests to actually diagnose her.

With that said, your marriage is over and it doesn’t matter if she’s BPD or not. Move on.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat2 points3 points  (7 children) | Copy

Don’t make excuses for her.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (6 children) | Copy

I'm not I'm just articulating how a BPD person can take their own actions and try to flip them on their partner in an instant.

[–]WesternhagenWinner4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

ALL WOMEN do that, it's not a BPD thing. Though "all women are BPD" is certainly arguable.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 0 points1 point  (4 children) | Copy

I do agree that all women are BPD to a certain extend but not like this. She hit me, threw shit so hard it stuck in the wall, ran around the house with a knife, jumped out of the car while I was driving, smashed things, etc.

[–]matrixtospartanatLVRed Beret14 points15 points  (1 child) | Copy

If you take this whore back, you deserve every fucked up thing that she does to you.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Noted. :)

[–]neilcross2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Ok. I was kinda thinking these guys were being harsh until I read this. (I’m new to all this I’m sure you all are right but. New). Yeah that’s not BPD that’s what I call CB. Crazy bitch. It’s done. Sorry. You should be happy though. I would be SO happy if this happened (the moving out part not the crazy part) look. You. Deserve. Better! Maybe your self esteem is thrashed but you do. We all do! Well most of us anyways. I haven’t read your past posts but I don’t think I need to.

[–]RoccoPinkman1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I agree, lucky escape man, what else is there to say

[–]tom-anonymous30 points31 points  (6 children) | Copy

The following is the only scenario that makes sense:

1.) Your wife stopped being attracted to you.

2.) This loss of attraction was most likely due to an encounter with another man she found more attractive than you. This encounter is probably innocent, but she found herself thinking about him. This caused her to question her relationship with you.

3.) The reason this other man was more attractive than you is because of one or more of the following: a.) He's better looking. b.) He's more fit c.) He's more confident d.) He's more exciting e.) He provides her more attention than you do/did.

4.) She's hoping she can pursue him further while you 2 are separated (if hasn't already).

5.) She not ready to fully swing branches because their relationship either hasn't happened yet, or outcome is uncertain.

6.) She want you to remain a stable branch she can swing back to in case it doesn't work out the way she wants it to.

Now you can sit there and wait for her, or you can be a man and move on. By move on I mean get to the gym and lift. Get strong and look good for no one other than yourself. Because at this point you are the only person you can rely on. You need to look the best you can so you can begin slaying pussy whenever you're ready.

At this point you should be thinking of yourself first. It sounds like your wife already has...

Edit: Tell her you will not wait. Tell her she's blown it. If anything she will be more attracted to you as a result for standing up for yourself.

Congratulations: At least she didn't try to cuck you in your own home. She left you first. I have more respect for a woman who gets the fuck out before she swings, however at the end of the day it doesn't matter.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 4 points5 points  (5 children) | Copy

Edit: Tell her you will not wait. Tell her she's blown it. If anything she will be more attracted to you as a result for standing up for yourself.

Good call here.

When I take my branch away she'll likely fall straight to the ground.

Did I mention her mom has BPD too and has done this to a couple guys? Now she's in her 50s, alone, and miserable. Nobody wants to touch a crazy lady with a 10 foot pole.

[–]BostonBrakeJob12 points13 points  (4 children) | Copy

Don't tell her anything. The only reason you're going to open your pie hole is to try to manipulate her into coming back or filing so you don't have to be the one to do it. Neither will work the way you think it will.

Instead, show her...with your actions. Either serve her papers, then tell her why when she asks, if you choose to tell her anything at all.

Or wait around for her. You can wait around with your thumb up some chick's ass, or your own. That's your choice too.

Option 3 is to live in limbo, and that's your choice too.

See the running theme here?

[–]themerovingian01[S] -4 points-3 points  (3 children) | Copy

I'm not going to live in limbo. I'm going to move forward with or without her. At this point almost surely without her.

[–]Chump_No_More11 points12 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm not going to live in limbo. I'm going to move forward with or without her. At this point almost surely without her.

FTFY.

She adds no value to your life. What the fuck is wrong with you?

[–]RoccoPinkman3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

No kids, she’s already gone, just let fucking go. It’s the best thing that could happen. Saying shit like ‘almost surely without her’ dude it’s fucking done! Move on and be grateful. Oneitis?

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Apparently oneitis.

[–]effyouasshole21 points22 points  (16 children) | Copy

You didn't ask a single question, but here's some feedback on what you said:

At this point she wants space and doesn't want to give an answer on if or when she'll be back.

She'll only come back if she fails to find suitable branch to swing to. You're the backup.

She doesn't want to lose me and asked me not to see other people

Of course she doesn't want to lose her safety net.

and she is doing the same.

Lurl. I hope you don't actually believe that. She's on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and Match right now, looking for an upgrade.

My next decision will be how long to wait before filing for divorce.

If you were smart, you'd hard-next her immediately and get to work on self-improvement. (You said "her kids", so I guess they have a different father, so you don't need to be involved anymore.)

There's nothing to salvage here. On the plus side, now you have a clean slate. Hit the sidebar and spend the next 2 years mastering RP theory and lifting your face off at the gym. After that, you'll wonder why you even cared about her in the first place.

[–]FoxShitNasty8311 points12 points  (0 children) | Copy

She's on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, and Match right now, looking for an upgrade.

Swiped yes on all #gigedygigedy

[–]themerovingian01[S] 2 points3 points  (14 children) | Copy

All very true.

I do feel a 37 year old post-wall BPD single mother will have a hard time finding someone better than me and will come crawling back. At which point it will probably be too late.

[–]effyouasshole11 points12 points  (6 children) | Copy

Wait... on top of all this, she also has BPD??

Dude. BPD = you do not have sex with her. Nevermind FWB. Nevermind LTR. Nevermind marriage.

With her moving out, you were given a true gift. And here you are... missing a woman with BPD and thinking about maybe divorcing her!

Wow. Just.... wow....

[–]FRedington10 points11 points  (0 children) | Copy

Change the locks today.
See a divorce lawyer first thing tomorrow.

[–]Chump_No_More3 points4 points  (0 children) | Copy

There's 'BPD' and then there's "I'm such a beta chump with no boundaries that she's pissed I fooled her into thinking my dick was worthy of her golden vagina."

The percentage of people on this planet with actual BPD is in the single digits.

This is the 'goto' excuse from men who can not own and handle their shit.

The sooner he accepts he's not a victim and starts taking responsibility for his shitty choices, the better his life will become.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

Someone in another post mentioned BPD women can be tricky because when they're good, they're really good. I just have to keep in mind that I can find someone who's always really good.

[–]dilberryhoundog5 points6 points  (2 children) | Copy

BPD's are an emotional fire hose. The only way they can have more than a fleeting relationship, is if the other person is an emotional bucket. It's a match made in heaven (or is that hell). Are you an emotional bucket OP? taking on people's problems, fixing them up?

If she really is BPD, it wont be that particular women's fault. You will seek out another firehose to fill your bucket. The reason they are "really good" is any woman who only gives you a trickle and a spurt (a normal woman) seems "boring" to a guy with a big bucket to fill. A normal guy has very little tolerance or ability to accomodate a torrent of emotion. The flow capacity for emotional energy is huge and this is why it seems so great in the beginning, but the bucket has to "dump" the energy somewhere else after a while, which gets tricky, the fire hose won't take it's water back.

Also, if you decide to not be a bucket anymore, she has to turn her hose off. This will build up alot of (emotional) pressure that she will have to eventually release to another bucket (usually find another dude, even if you are making lots of red pill gainz).

[–]redismyfuture1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

emotional bucket

Tampon. Emotional Tampon....

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't think I want to be her bucket. I would often say things like "why can't you just be normal?" Which of course which make her blow her top. I would also say things like "no one else I've ever been with has acted this way" and she obviously did not like that either. She did call me her emotional rock because I was the only person in the world who was unphased by her. To a certain extent I've always been a bit RP because I never reacted to her craziness. I was very good at being stoic and not engaging. It was probably confusing for her because her last husband was very volatile and they massive blow-outs and fights all the time...even after the marriage ended.

[–]SuperCrazy077 points8 points  (1 child) | Copy

I do feel a 37 year old post-wall BPD single mother will have a hard time finding someone better than me [to marry her] and will come crawling back.

FTFY

She’s not going to have a hard time getting a dick (s) inside her unless she’s incredibly ugly and obese.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

True.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

She already seems to think we can live apart for 6-12 months while we 'work on things' and then she'll come back and we can live happily ever after. Hah.

[–]neilcross2 points3 points  (2 children) | Copy

Unless she’s hot. You said post wall. Is she not hot anymore? She must be if you are still wanting some. If she’s not hot then whyyyy do you want her???????

[–]themerovingian01[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

She is hot but there's something men do. We look at our partners the way we first met them. So in my mind she's still the 27 year old hottie I remember.

[–]neilcross1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah I feel you there. Wish they were like that right? This whole sub wouldn’t exist.

[–]RStonePT18 points19 points  (6 children) | Copy

Someone had to make the hard decision.

You must be glad it wasn't you

[–]themerovingian01[S] -1 points0 points  (5 children) | Copy

In her mind I made the decision, which is interesting, and truly BPD.

[–]EasyDaysHardNights2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Why do you know or even care what's in her mind?

[–]themerovingian01[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I don't care anymore.

[–]neilcross1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Well that’s a good thing then! She might respect you if she thought it was you. Stop blaming BPD though. I have it (I think) and it doesn’t excuse behaviors. Although I use it to excuse behaviors (I know this is bad I’m working on it. I need to own it)

[–]RStonePT0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Funny how you never thought it important enough to talk about your mind

[–]Chump_No_More4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm losing my patience with this guy. His victim-hood is dug in like a tick.

His ego is insisting on hitting 'rock bottom' before it accepts that this current paradigm is a fucking train wreck.

[–]WesternhagenWinner8 points9 points  (5 children) | Copy

My next decision will be how long to wait before filing for divorce.

Having looked at your post history, there is nothing to think about here.

How long does it take to drive to the lawyer's office? That's how long to wait.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 3 points4 points  (4 children) | Copy

I've already met with the 10 best in the area and have paperwork filled out for the one I picked.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

How did you find the "10 best in the area"? You went on yelp or some shit? Asking for a friend.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I did my initial searches on Avvo and Superlawyers. I also asked my business lawyer who he thought were the best divorce lawyers. I met with the top 5 I thought I might hire and then I also met the top 5 I thought she'd be likely to hire (mainly women).

[–]themerovingian01[S] 4 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

Once you get a consultation with them they can't represent your spouse...EVER!

[–]red88lobster0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

That's smart

[–]savageinthebox9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

Bro she moved out, wtf? Get a lawyer, send her papers, get to work on being a man. This is beyond beta faggotry. Congratulate yourself on your new freedom, block her number and begin your life. She will have her legs in the air for Chad before you read this comment.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I'm pretty sure she's going to flip when she gets the divorce papers. A key element of her BPD is fear of abandonment. She already went nuts when I told her I saw no future if she left.

[–]EasyDaysHardNights4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm pretty sure she's going to flip ...

You're still in her crazy ass BPD Frame. GTFO. DON'T LOOK BACK. RUN!

[–]savageinthebox2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

First of all, what the other dude said about being in her crazy frame is true. Second of all SHE LEFT YOU! You’re not abandoning her, you’re just not taking her back after she abandoned you. Change the locks and never look back. Simple.

[–]helaughsinhidden13 points14 points  (1 child) | Copy

She doesn't want to lose me

Uh, she moved out?! Acta non verba

she is doing the same

Beta orbiters will already be hitting her up when they notice you're pics aren't in her gallery and relationship status disappears. Just in case no other teams start calling her in while she is now a "restricted free agent", she wants to be able to resign, get her old locker, and keep the number on the jersey.

She complained that I'm pressuring her and giving her an ultimatum.

I don't know about you, but I hardly tolerate complaints from my wife and we share a bed and have sex on the regular. I wouldn't be hearing anything she says if she moved out of my bedroom, let alone the house. You need to behave as if you are moving on even if you still are a oneitis-simp at heart still.

My wife of 6.5 years and her two kids moved out

Just going to cut to the chase, is your third child yours from another relationship or one you have together? If it's not a child you have in common, you need to move on and don't look back. You broke down a couple times already, know this; she knew it would hurt, she could have taken other steps, she did it anyway, and she doesn't care.

Go to the gym. Full body movements. Bench press, squat, dead-lift, rows, over head press, chest flys, curls, and crunches like your life depends on it. This is all your fault, so get mad at yourself and abuse your body with lots and lots of iron while doing audio books at the same time from the sidebar. Break off the rear view mirror and stop looking back. Become the kind of man she sees in 6 months and gets sick to her stomach for walking out and replace her with someone fun, refreshing, submissive, and hot.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children) | Copy

Good point on the complaints.

We have no kids in common. I had a daughter from a girlfriend prior to this marriage. You are right she doesn't care...or she wouldn't have done this. I keep saying it over to myself. Why would I want to take back such a person?

I hit the gym to lift 2-3 times a week but I'll probably increase it now that I have more times.

I like the sound of fun, refreshing, submissive, and hot!

[–]FlyingSexistPig6 points7 points  (2 children) | Copy

She's not doing the same. She's trying to branch swing to a better branch. She's going to see if there are better guys than you who will fuck her and give her money. If she can't find anyone else, she'll be back.

It's time for you to move on. What are your hobbies, the ones you've put on hold all these years, because you were spending time with her? Go do those.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Shooting, hunting, camping, building shit, snowmobiling, motorcycling...tons of stuff I can spend more time on now.

[–]FlyingSexistPig2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

That’s what I wanted to hear. Go do that stuff now.

[–]Redpillbrigade1711 points12 points  (14 children) | Copy

Hahahahaha. She “asked you not to see other women and she’s doing the same”

[–]dll1425 points6 points  (1 child) | Copy

Don't believe her when she says she's not seeing someone else. I would bet with an extremely high probability that's she's full of shit.

I'll say what I think I said to you before.... "VALUE YOURSELF!!"

There are tons and tons of really nice, hot, available women out there that, trust me, you'd be compatible with and like. Look, I get you're mourning a loss. That's fine. We all get that. If you're not ready to date yet, that's fine too. For what it's worth, you'd most likely be better off moving on and going and getting what you want.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

What better way to get over a woman than getting on top of another one?

[–]Rifleshoot9 points10 points  (3 children) | Copy

Have some pride. Moving out, to me at least, is a red line in the sand. If she doesn't care enough to stay to try and fix things, dump her and move on. It stings, I'm sure, but you don't have kids together. You don't owe her anything. Take the opportunity you've been presented with and improve yourself and get a much higher quality woman than a single mother of two.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 7 points8 points  (2 children) | Copy

I have to agree with you on this. One of my requirements it to be actually living with my fucking wife.

[–]Redpillbrigade172 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Move on mentally dude. Don’t accept shit. The world is your oyster. You’ll find yourself a nice younger lady to marry and move in with, if that’s what you want. This one: stick a fork in it.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is what I want but it is still hard. One step at a time.

[–]mrpmonk3 points4 points  (2 children) | Copy

Waiting is waist of time. I know it's tough, but be tougher. Remember you're the man, who hold on the rein of the relationship. She moved out and now you gotta take over. Be decisive, I know it's easier to say than done, but don't wait. Either take her back or start the divorce. Not to say you should seek a lawyer now, but put with pen and paper what is yours and what's hers and find your exit plan with lowest alimony possible. Or call a marriage council. I don't know, I don't have feelings for her, you do. Do something

[–]themerovingian01[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

I have consulted lawyers and have a plan of action in that regard.

[–]mrpmonk2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Then you know what you want and you want us to to either validate that or tell you what we would want if we were in your shoes?! Man, next her. Hit the gym and start lifting. Let your testosterone do the talking.

[–]nikfury694 points5 points  (1 child) | Copy

I'm typically an observer, but you've been granted an opportunity many men dream about.

A "do-over".

So consider this...

  1. Put everything in storage.
  2. Change the locks and lease out the house through a management company.
  3. Get a studio apartment in the bar/college/party district.
  4. Never give out the address. Forward all mail to a PO box.
  5. Do the thing.

Disclaimor: Subject to local law, your mileage will vary, consult your lawyer, yada, etc.

And don't forget to mention you understand "the need for space" and express your "desire to visit the kids at her/your parents house, every other weekend".

Choose wisely...

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I seriously considered buying a new house and renting out the current one but buying another house during a divorce is frowned upon.

[–]Chump_No_More3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

She doesn't want to lose me and asked me not to see other people and she is doing the same.

Let me translate this for you...

"You stay and pine for me while I get railed by other men. Don't forget to send me all your hard earned each week, to support me and kids who aren't even yours, you fucking loser."

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I completely cut her off financially the moment she left. When she asks for money the answer will be no.

[–]riverofpower2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Been following these trainwreck posts since the start, get a grip man. In your previous post you said if she moves out you are 100% done, you set the boundaries, she crossed them, now enforce them. Don’t tolerate this kind of behavior and stop disrespecting yourself like this. I can imagine how hard it is and the sense of loss must be crippling, but the situation won’t improve by prolonging the inevitable.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is very true.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

So my question is, how do I get over her as fast as possible and kill the loss, sadness, and angry in it's tracks?

I'm lifting, staying busy with martial arts, etc. and prepping. Stay busy and figure out what you want.

[–]SoyTanto2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

Nothing new man. We’ve all gone through it, to some extent. In a little time you won’t miss her or the life. In a little more time, it will all only be a memory.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is what I'm hoping for. The beginning sucks.

[–]Awakeningof172 points3 points  (4 children) | Copy

She wants space... she wants new dick while stringing you along as plan B in case it doesn't work out for her. Accept that she's fucking other dudes, I've just had to do the same. You can dwell on it and feel like shit, or better yourself and find some strange to fuck. When chad has pumped and dumped her and she realises she's fucked up, she will probably come crawling back. I shouldn't need to tell you what to do at this point. This is your opportunity for freedom. What will you do?

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

I probably wouldn't take her back anyways but I would absolutely never take her back if she fucked someone.

[–]Awakeningof171 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Don't take her back, no matter what. She's decided you're not good enough for her. That's fine, time to make yourself too good for her and move on. You probably won't know if she's fucked someone else but I can assure you, she will have. It's what they do, speaking from a lot of experience.... AWALT. Don't get mad, or want to 'get even' and for fuck sake drop your ego. Oneitis is a killer, trust me I know. What got me through it was simple - military style healthy meal prep and hitting the gym hard EVERY WEEK. What do you know, I now have younger, hotter chicks ready to suck and fuck while the ex is out there in beta orbitor land. It's like the advice dudes give on this forum actually works... who would have thought.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Yes oneitis does suck bad. I will follow your path!

[–]Awakeningof171 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

Follow your own path, you need to find your own way in life like the rest of us. You need to experience this shit in order to build a better version of you. It's fucking hard, but you will get there if you put the work in.

[–]nantucketghost2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

My man, she made the decision for you already. She moved out.

She's not going to want you to see other people because she's going to find someone. When she does, she will tell you it's ok and time to move on for yourself. If she doesn't find anyone, she will come back after she can't find better (two kids? She's not going to find any alpha out there) and she will come back only then and you will always know that you were just the fall back to guy. She's off looking for better.

Take this time to reflect. Find out where you fucked up with manhood, and make those changes and find a girl that will have the hots for you and this old girl will have to live with how she is the one that screwed it all up.

File for divorce tomorrow. Start taking charge of this now.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

I kind of want her to live her whole life wishing she wouldn't have left while I'm banging my new 25 hear old hottie.

[–]RisingUpAgain3 points4 points  (1 child) | Copy

Wrong. Try again.

[–]Iammrp21 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

He's still in her frame. OP try looking at the world through your eyes instead of hers.

[–]JameisBong2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You have to nuke this relationship, she's a single mommy and you were the cuck raising someone else's kids. I was in your shoes,it hurt like hell but i will never again deal with a single mom. Her kids weren't grateful and they've never reached out to me post divorce. They will forget you, mommy is already sucking and swallowing her next victim. If it doesn't work out with said victim,you get to taste another man's semen when she comes back. Single mommies are looking for help,not love. They can't afford to raise the kids on their own.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

This is it exactly. I pretty much felt used the whole time. I paid for everything and just got shit on in the end.

[–][deleted] 2 points3 points  (3 children) | Copy

It's just grief. It'll pass. You're not grieving her, per se, It's the sense of loss from the conclusion of a relationship and person that provided meaning in your life.

It's very normal to feel sad when something bad is over. And is not, I repeat NOT, a sign that you should get back together. Read up on the grief cycle and learn from this and pay close attention to the feelings that you have. When it's all over you'll actually feel very good for having experienced it and you'll be stronger next time.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

You are right it is grief. And not even grieving the person so much as the time wasted and the life we had. If i could waive a magic wand and replace her with someone else I would in a heartbeat.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Yeah, for me it was a mix of regret / guilt / grief / sadness. It was like, jeez I wasted half my life with this POS. The worst is that you can't help but think how horrible of a person you are that someone should treat you this bad. And so you just have to keep reminding yourself that people are just selfish by nature, and rather imperfect. The 'nobody should ever hurt me that I trust' thinking is rather silly and immature and a bit too Freudian.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

I'm a big believe in that which doesn't kill me makes me stronger.

[–]RoccoPinkman2 points3 points  (1 child) | Copy

She doesn’t want to lose me and asked me not to see other people and she will do the same

Even though this is in womanese I’ve translated it for you.

Translation: I’m going to/I’m already fucking other people. Your not allowed.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

At this point I dont want to think about her fucking other people but I know that will pass in time.

[–]ArborioRice1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

At this point she wants space and doesn't want to give an answer on if or when she'll be back. She doesn't want to lose me and asked me not to see other people and she is doing the same.

Well, OP, what are you going to do about this?

[–]themerovingian01[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

Find a new chick and tell the ex to fuck off.

[–]HonestyOverCivility1 point2 points  (3 children) | Copy

and her two kids

Annnnnd that tells me everything I needed to know right there....just bail man. You fucked up from the very beginning. Go out and enjoy your life instead of being a cuckold for the benefit of a woman who will never love or desire you the way you want anyway

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

If I had known then what I know now I would not have wifed up an older single mother with two kids, BPD, doesn't want to work, and a crazy ex-husband.

[–]HonestyOverCivility1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

You basically just provided a perfect list for why you need to get out ASAP. I’m all for working on a marriage if it has a solid foundation, but needs a little reinvigoration, but it sounds like you’ve got yourself one dumpster fire of a situation

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

You are right. The foundation is crumbling.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

What are you possibly waiting for? She’s BPD, she’s got kids from another man that we all know you’ve financed, she’s actively looking for a better man, and holding you as emergency back up if it doesn’t pan out. Oh, and she called you on your bluff, which it obviously was because you haven’t started divorce yet.

What the hells so special about you? Seems you’re the one who’s afraid you can’t do any better.

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

I do think deep down I have an irrational fear that I can't find someone as hot, smart, and nice. I know that is wrong but I still believe it. I guess time and tinder will fix that.

[–]Two_kids_in_a_coat2 points3 points  (0 children) | Copy

And lifting.

[–]z2a1-91 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

Move on and start improving yourself. She's a gonner!!!

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

That's the plan.

[–]Praexology1 point2 points  (2 children) | Copy

Before I reply, do you have any kind of religious or moral background?

[–]themerovingian01[S] 1 point2 points  (1 child) | Copy

No.

[–]Praexology1 point2 points  (0 children) | Copy

I would recommend getting yourself a personal recorder and speaking to a lawyer at length regardless if you choose to stay or leave.

u/Red-Curious made a post on the RPC subreddit about doing this. Might be a good idea to skim his stuff to get yourself taken care of.

BPD can make people do truly insane things. So make sure you are protected from her if she goes 'nuclear'.

[–]JCX_Pulse0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

At the end of the day this really only comes down to one thing: how much love and respect do you have for yourself?

Don’t worry about the relationship. The kids. Her. Think about what kind of person you are when you let someone, anyone, walk all over you and treat you like shit.

Where is your love? Respect? Confidence? Right now you have a choice to gain all those things for yourself by not letting someone steamroll you.

Or you can play the nice guy. The pushover, like you have all your life.

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

I don’t think anyone can say anything to actually inspire this guy...

[–]themerovingian01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Just about everything said so far has been inspiring.

[–]that_italia_guy0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Get a new girl

[–]Frosteecat0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

Silence is golden. You seem to suffer from classic “analysis paralysis”. It seems best to get some space & shut the hamster circus down. When you feel clear, write down what your objective mind tells you to do and refer to this “contract” every time you get in you or your ex’s feelz. My .02

[–]themerovingian01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Great advice here.

[–]MeansToABenz0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Man I am sorry for your loss. /s

[–]RPWolfAlpha_as_Wolf_2.00 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

My next decision will be how long to wait before filing for divorce.

How long does it take you to drive to your lawyers?

[–]themerovingian01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Haha, 15 minutes.

[–]Captain_pants40 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Cuck

[–][deleted] 0 points1 point  (1 child) | Copy

What are you waiting for? You could have an attorney and the process already in motion. Wtf are you waiting for?

[–]themerovingian01[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

Getting on it asap.

[–]OneTonWantonWonton0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

First understand that there's an 87% chance she's already dealing with someone else. That may help.

After that, focus on yourself doing what you like to do and go to the gym.

[–]Thorondor_Rising0 points1 point  (0 children) | Copy

File for divorce. Shes literally shopping for cock while you sit around with your dick in your hand.



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