It's practically the year 2020: does the guy still need to "win her over"?

captain_petty · 2019-11-09T14:04:41+00:00

I think that in a good start to a good relationship it is a mutual thing to win each other over. If it’s anything other than that then it’s obviously not going to be a good relationship, as one person might be more invested and interested than the other. If that makes sense lol

reluctantly_red · 2019-11-09T14:16:51+00:00

[deleted]

poppy_blu · 2019-11-09T14:14:16+00:00

Do you not expect a woman who wants you to commit to her to win you over?

flamingoinghome · 2019-11-09T14:38:53+00:00

Honestly, man or woman, you have to choose--you can "win over" someone you independently desire. You can hold out for a mutual spontaneous attraction. Or--and this is something a lot of guys don't get when they talk about pursuing or not--you can allow yourself to be "won over" by someone who, perhaps, you were not instantly attracted to.

If men want to be "won over" they have to recognize that such a dynamic is necessarily contingent on their being open-minded about someone they weren't super-into at the start.

CatchPhraze · 2019-11-09T18:57:48+00:00

"just be yourself is bulepill bullshit!"

"Wining her over is for suckers!"

Ok fam.

ontherailstoday · 2019-11-09T19:54:41+00:00

Well if you want something from someone else be it sex, commitment, for them to buy those damn lottery tickets your kids' school wants you to sell... yes you might have to win them over in some way.

> How does PPD feel about the statement that the man needs to win her over?Or should it be the woman to win him over?

Depends on who wants who first, how much they want them, their degree of natural tendency to take initiative and how all that plays out. People want things out of life may have to win someone over to get what they want.

> Or - IMO - shouldn't it be that there's should be mutual attraction between two like-minded and compatible individuals, therefore win each other's over?

If you're happy just wandering through life and waiting for that to happen spontaneously with just the right person and it be like the clouds parted and the sun came out and there were divine crepuscular rays beaming down as the entire universe aligned to give you both exactly what you never knew you wanted until that point and neither of you ever have to put in even slightly more effort than the other to get your paths aligned... feel free. I mean you get to do you because you're the one responsible for dealing with the outcomes of doing you.

Iron-Giant169 · 2019-11-09T13:49:25+00:00

Yes, nothing has changed for men.

WiseMonkeyGoodMonkey · 2019-11-09T23:22:10+00:00

If you have to "win her over" she's not really into you. Move on and find someone who is.

TwentyX4 · 2019-11-10T04:10:51+00:00

Or - IMO - shouldn't it be that there's should be mutual attraction between two like-minded and compatible individuals, therefore win each other's over?

I think that idea is cute. They's a difference between "how the world should be" and how it actually is given that women have more power in the dating marketplace. The reality is that men still need to win women over because she always has more options and women enjoy the validation of having a guy pursue her. Yeah, it's not fair, but the dating marketplace isn't fair. Many people don't want to admit it, though.

muhboyAbdul · 2019-11-10T19:22:34+00:00

If he needs to win her over, it's over.

TheBookOfSeil · 2019-11-09T15:06:48+00:00

It all depends on who wants who. If someone wants me and I don’t necessarily want them, they have to “win me over.” If I want someone and they don’t necessarily want me, I have to “win them over.”

reluctantly_red · 2019-11-09T15:38:34+00:00

[deleted]

Transmigratory · 2019-11-09T16:52:12+00:00

If in 2020 and you're using coloured pills to define your gender relations, it might be time to start the new decade by investing in some serious therapy so you're not like this by 2030.

boomcheese44 · 2019-11-09T14:43:39+00:00

If you have to "win her over" she wasnt that into you.

coconutismyreligion · 2019-11-09T15:30:58+00:00

high value men win women over by existing. women are fighting for their time

crookedsummer2019 · 2019-11-09T15:44:51+00:00

I think both should win each other over. I also think a lot of men just see a hot chick and start trying to win her over without even considering if she is worthy of his affection to begin with. Women tend value it more when we earn it, not when it’s handed to us.

If a guy that we are attracted to shows that he’s interested, but is not going to fall at our feet just because of our looks, that actually does separate him from the rest of the pack, and motivates us to try to win him over.

There is nothing wrong with a guy having some standards and not being expected to do all of the perusing. If she expects that kind of princess treatment without making any effort to win you over, then she’s not worth your time guys.

Orange_Paisley · 2019-11-09T16:15:43+00:00

You’re supposed to be winning each other over, that is what dating is. Does he need to make her feel loved and special? Hell yes. Does she need to make him feel admired and adored? Yes! Stop whining about having to make an effort to be a worthy partner. It makes you less desirable.

QueenCousland86 · 2019-11-09T16:18:28+00:00

Love is a process, not an end point. I do nice things for my boyfriend all the time to "win him over" and he does the same, because that's how you maintain a healthy, functional relationship.

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Joey_Lopez · 2019-11-09T14:04:08+00:00

In my experience you have to win girls over when they are young, fresh and their SMV is at it's peak. Once a man get older and starts to actualize, it's the woman that needs to win him over.

k995 · 2019-11-09T16:13:59+00:00

Or: it doesnt matter what happens happens and stop worying about nonsense like this.

bonusfruit · 2019-11-09T15:42:36+00:00

It's the current year

Ant1matter8 · 2019-11-09T16:23:49+00:00

If you have to win her over then you're doing it wrong.

phlegmdawg · 2019-11-09T16:27:47+00:00

Only if they both want to play that game. There’s various approaches to dating and no “have to’s”. To each their own.

It’s more about people having their own internal standards and being selective with who they choose to spend their free time with.

Wallstreet3 · 2019-11-09T16:58:21+00:00

Looking at the laws and such, women need to win men over. Countless guys would rather smoke pot and play video games, go fishing or something else than dealing with the modern entitled, girl-power, combative, antagonistic woman who overs a man nothing more than a hole, and arguments, judgement and damnation.

md8716 · 2019-11-09T18:40:13+00:00

Trying to "win over a girl" is the absolute worst mindset to have as a man. Spend your focus being the best man you can possibly be, and choose the best of the women that are available to you. That's the literal definition of holding frame.

If you are not satisfied with the caliber of woman available to you, then continue to improve until you are.

If you've done all you can do and still aren't satisfied, then you are destined to spend your life having your balls in the purse of a woman who felt like she settled for you.

2019-11-09T22:22:01+00:00

Blue pill perspective is that in modern dating compatibility is what is primarily important and that two people should without prejudice evaluate each other for compatibility and chemistry and that the game playing bullshit and lies and babysitting of each other's egos needs to stop.

Zippo-Cat · 2019-11-10T06:59:52+00:00

Well let's see, are we still homo sapiens sapiens running on exactly the same basic sexual instincts as we did a million years ago?

...yes, we are. So yes, the guy still needs to "win her over" and the idea of a "mutual relationship" is still so naive as to be called flat-out retarded.

shonenhikada · 2019-11-10T11:05:49+00:00

Women find 80% of men physically unattractive. Most men have to coarse women into giving him a chance. It's just how it is.

disposablepurplepill · 2019-11-10T19:57:50+00:00

It could be 4040 and the guy will still need to "win her over." If men could only ejaculate once every 2 years it might be different - but that's no the case.

wtknight · 2019-11-09T15:40:05+00:00

If he's high value enough compared to her then she has to win him over in order for him to commit to a relationship with her or else he'll continue to keep exploring the field.

Title	It's practically the year 2020: does the guy still need to "win her over"?
Author	NYCCOOP
Upvotes	15
Comments	187
Date	November 9, 2019 1:37 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/dtvzxz/its_practically_the_year_2020_does_the_guy_still/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/its-practically-the-year-2020-does-the-guy-still.294574 https://theredarchive.com/post/294574

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