For a lot of people, the quickest way to get out of a rut starts with a changing a single habit. These habits are coined as "keystone habits" by Charles Duhigg in The Power of Habit. Examples include making your bed, exercising, and meditation. He explains these habits as being the lead dominoes for many people, making change in other areas of their lives simpler.
Throughout my experimentation over the last 3-4 years, I noticed that refraining from masturbation helped me focus more, procrastinate less, and have noticeably more confidence around women. In essence, it was one of my keystone habits. I am speaking purely anecdotally of course; the science isn't definitive to support these claims. Be that as it may, I believe there is power in the ability to flexing your willpower muscles and that, at the very least, has a positive ROI worth experimenting with this month.
For the next month, I implore you to join me in No Fap November. For the next 30 days, I will not masturbate. I will not watch porn. I will not "edge". I will however, approach women and have consensual sex. I will battle my monkey mind and focus my energy on meditating or exercising or a cold shower when I start getting horny. I will force myself to socialize and push myself outside of my comfort zone instead of staying in, eating pizza, and jerking off.
I have a feeling this post will be met with a lot of resistance and that "masturbation is healthy". I get that and completely agree. Moderate, controlled masturbation is completely natural and beneficial, probably more so than abstinence. With that being said, binge (everyday or multiple times per day) masturbation is not and a kick start such as No Fap can help foster healthier long-term habits. On top of that, the mental challenge can help build willpower (in theory) that will spill over into other areas of your life.
If you're not on board with giving up masturbation, I encourage you to give up porn instead. There are countless studies done on the negative side effects of over consumption of porn. Another idea could be to cut back your masturbation to once a week or something similar. Either way, I hope this thread can be a thoughtful discussion and support group for those of us challenging ourselves this month. Let's do it!
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