This post may be obvious to some, but it'll be useful for some newbies on their journey. I sure wish someone had mentioned something like this to me a while back.
I got hot, but didn't realize it for a long time.
It takes a while to get hot. It won't happen overnight. It will come in stages. If you're lifting (like you should be), you won't really notice the change in your body, as you're constantly scrutinizing yourself in the mirror. You'll always be forever small.
However, friends and family will. One day someone you haven't seen in a while will come up to you and say something like "wow you've really changed!" or "you lost a lot of weight dude well done" or "damn your arms got huge have you been working out?". You'll be genuinely surprised; you won't have noticed the drastic changes because you'll be so focused on the increments.
And girls will treat you better. I guarantee you. Women might "accidentally" touch you more, they will look at you different, they may hug you when greeting when they've never done that before.
While working out presents incremental changes; fixing your style or haircut will be a drastic change that people are sure to notice straight away. Some may even make fun of you for it at first. Don't stress too much about it; a lot of people are weirded out and uncomfortable with drastic change. They have this mental image in their heads that they've assigned to you, a caricature per se, and when you break through that image and present yourself as something different, their reality is flipped on it's head and they may be a bit befuddled at first. That's normal, they quickly acclimatize again and get used to the new you. It happens quicker than you think. Don't stress too much about it.
But the real clincher is the looks you get from women. They check you out. All the time. All the hot guys on this sub know what I mean. If you don't know what I mean, it's because you haven't reached that stage of attractive yet. I'm going to explain what happened to me:
Even though I've been lifting for at least a year now, I'm still pretty slim. The combination of doing a strength program over hypertrophy, being tall, not eating enough consistently and having an albatross wingspan means my skinny arms and weak chest really give away how beta I used to be. I can still be bigger, and that's the plan.
However, I fixed my posture. I started dressing for my age (Don't just dress well. Dress for your age). I got a decent haircut and I take care of my hair properly. I got some shades that suit the shape of my face. I started shaving every day. I wear cologne.
One day I was commuting to school and I noticed a woman was giving me a weird look. When I saw her looking at me she snapped away. I was confused. Was there something on my face. Did I have a booger? Did I just look weird?
Being beta and self conscious I went to the bathrooms before my lecture to make sure there wasn't anything in my teeth or whatever.
On the way back, some teenage girls kept glancing at me. One turned around to look and I caught her. Her friends laughed.
I went home that day dejected, were those girls making fun of me because I looked stupid?
The next day I was sitting on the train and some HB7 looks at me. Then looks away. Then looks again. She was staring me down angrily. I remember thinking "what's this bitches problem".
Another did the same thing, fixed her hair when I met eyes with her. I looked away quickly. "Damn, can't have her thinking that I'm stare-raping her".
This kept happening, for a long time. I seriously went at least a few months wondering why all these women were looking at me weird on my commute to and from school. Why did they keep staring at me? Maybe I just had a fucked up face. Maybe I dressed weird? Smelt weird? Gave off a weird vibe? I was so used to being that weird nerd kid that I assumed every time someone looked at me they were making fun of me.
And then one day I had a pretty obvious eye opener. A very effeminate camp man stared me down on the tube. He wasn't even shy about it. When I looked at him again, he smiled.
"Why did he smile?". I realized he was the first man I'd found who was looking at me with those weird "scared" eyes that all the girls were giving me. I thought I was scaring those girls cos I looked, acted or smelt weird.
But no other men were staring me down on the train. I couldn't remember a single time a man looked at me weird on the tube like the way the women were. If I looked, acted or smelt weird, surely I'd be getting death stares from all genders?
And bam, that's when I realised. Maybe they're checking me out.
The "imposter syndrome" post recently got me to write this up, because really, that's what I was feeling. I couldn't for the life of me notice that I was being checked out, because I never considered myself hot. I never even realized that I'd GOT hot; but of course it had to happen eventually. I was actively working on improving my appearance after all. I just never really internalized that at one stage I actually would reach "attractive". Eventually I was going to get to a stage where random strangers on the street were going to check me out. I just hadn't realized I'd hit that stage.
And from there all the previous encounters with women on the train made sense to me. They were all checking me out.
"No way", I thought. "There's no way they can be that blatant".
And then I started looking out for it. They do it ALL the time. On the train, at the library, at the coffeeshop. Women check me out CONSTANTLY now. I couldn't believe it. I've never had this much attention from random women before in my life. I've never been validated so much by strangers. Is this what it's like to be a pretty girl?
Once I started noticing it, I learnt to look out for it, and now I notice it more. On every commute I take there will be at least 3 or 4 women who give me the eye. They look at me, look away, and then look at me again. This is an IOI.
If they touch or fix their clothes or hair straight after seeing you, it means they want your dick. Almost certainly. A woman who notices an attractive guy will almost straight away groom herself to ensure she's looking at her prettiest. If you see a girl across the bar/cafe or whatever fix her hair after looking at you, you have been given a free pass to approach. I have never been had a rejected approach after hitting on a girl who fixed her hair after staring me down.
I know it's a sure thing because I realized I did it to. If I saw a hot girl I'd fix my hair quick while she wasn't looking. Women are the same.
I read in a comment on here a while back that if you catch eyes with a girl, don't be the first to look away. It's true. If you look away first it signals how beta you are. In almost all cases the girl will look away first. Some snap straight away. If she stares you down and you end up playing chicken it means you've got a feisty one.
If she looks away and then looks back at you and your eyes are still firmly locked on her, she will melt. It's a sure technique to framing yourself as alpha before you even open your mouth. You know what you want and you're looking at it, you won't look away because you're scared of her. She'll notice you checking her out and her panties will wet.
So, for those guys out there that are getting stared down; you're getting IOIs. If a girl you're checking out sees you and fixes her hair or clothes. You're getting IOIs. If she looks at you, looks away and then looks back at you, you're getting IOIs.
And no matter how you hamster it away to your beta self, it's becuase she thinks you're hot. You might not think so, you might still see an ugly nerd in the mirror, but the women who are checking you out don't. Don't let imposter syndrome stop you from apporaching girls that are very obviously sending you cues; you're wasting oppurtunities. Use these obvious cues to break through approach anxiety; these girls are bascially begging you to talk to them.
Or you could just have something on your face.
You will become attractive before you yourself realize you've done so
If women are staring at you in public places, you're being checked out. Even if you don't think so.
If you're being checked out, it's becuase you're hot. Even if you don't think so.
Women who groom themselves after seeing you are sending IOIs
Never be the first to look away when you look eyes with a girl
If she's constantly looking at you don't waste the opportunity and go fucking talk to her