What's your minimum requirement in a women for you to date her?

DeuxPistolets · 2020-04-26T11:12:20+00:00

Requirements:

1) I am at least physically attracted to her. She doesn’t need to be perfect looking. The kind of person she is goes a long way in terms of how attractive I will perceive her to be.

2) Someone that is on the same page as me regarding wanting a long term relationship.

3) Someone that has some shared common interests.

4) Intelligent

5) I would have to sense that she’s a trustworthy and faithful person.

6) I would also have to feel like she is a genuinely caring, loving and sweet person.

7) Someone that truly wants to spend a lot of time with me and isn’t too distant.

Deal Breakers:

1) Single mothers

2) Has a personality disorder such as Borderline Personality Disorder or NPD.

3) Selfishness

4) Lying or any kind of dishonesty

5) Overly insecure or jealous

6) Drug user

7) If I found out she’s cheated in the past

SlashCo80 · 2020-04-26T11:25:48+00:00

Attractive in terms of looks and personality, and compatible. That's about it. I actually ended a relationship with someone who felt like "the one" because I wasn't physically attracted to her. I felt bad about it, but I couldn't go on doing romantic things and pretending to be in love when I wasn't feeling it. It wouldn't have been fair to me or to her.

RepresentativeSwan1 · 2020-04-26T10:39:03+00:00

Attractive (to me). For me that's like 98% looks, but the majority of women my age are attractive to me based on looks.
Attracted to me. I don't want to be in a transactional relationship.
Enough personal compatibility that I would be friends with her if I didn't want to fuck her.

Basically any woman who I could be friends with, who I'd also want to fuck, who also wants to fuck me.

Edit: I should also mention that I am below average (like a 3/10 tbh), but my standards are probably higher than other 3/10 men. Other 3/10 men will date women they aren't attracted to for the sake of companionship, but I don't want to do that because I know it won't make me happy.

7-11-21-Luck · 2020-04-26T10:39:51+00:00

Looks - She don't have to super hot, just attractive to me.

Personality - Can't be with someone I don't enjoy being around.

Biggest one for me is Effort.

WIA20XX · 2020-04-26T11:18:40+00:00

750 Credit Score.

MirrorThaoss · 2020-04-26T10:33:04+00:00

In looks : I just need to find her attractive, I don't really care about big tits, big ass, only a face that I find charming (I think that makes around 3 girls out of 10) and a healthy weight.

In personality : affectionate, and capable of good faith and rationality. That makes gaslighting and lying huge dealbreakers.

(I have a below average face, but being 6ft, mixed-raced, muscular, educated engineering student, extroverted and very comfortable in social interactions makes up for it to be globally above average)

2020-04-26T11:13:17+00:00

Generally a woman I could be, or am, friends with who I find attractive, but mutual attraction needs to be there; if I don't feel like she feels the same, then I won't have feelings for her, she'll be more like one of the guys or a sister in my mind. As for what I find attractive, generally just feminine women, I can honestly say I've met very few women (barring old people) whom I couldn't see some beauty in, usually it's because they're severly overweight or clearly don't take care of themselves. I really don't know how I'd rate attractiveness wise, I'm definitely not some sort of male model, but I am fairly masuline and above average height, if that counts for anything.

TheJim66 · 2020-04-26T10:29:03+00:00

If by date you mean for LTRs and such my minimum requirement are :hot (6+/10) , nice, not a slut.

For casual stuff :thin, female.

I would say I'm fairly attractive

AD93939393 · 2020-04-26T16:40:25+00:00

Smaller than me with a cute face and generally pleasant to be around.

SocialSanityy · 2020-04-26T17:37:35+00:00

Has to be good looking

Has to be educated ( I don’t mean book smart , I mean more so educated on the world )

Mother qualities

Caring / Thoughtful

Optimistic

Loyal

Sekina7 · 2020-04-26T15:37:22+00:00

Me I like to think I'm average looking, but people tend to inflate themselves and based on the evidence, I'm probably slightly below average. I'll put it this way; I've really never had the luxury of "standards". At various times of my life, I've been told that i was more attractive than i credit myself.

If i were in the market, and could choose

She would have to be kind. Being kind is very different than being nice.

As far as looks go? Average or slightly under. I wouldn't want a stacy at my age. Stacy would just get bored with me anyway. I don't have a 6 pack. I'm obviously not chad. I look, but i have no illusions of being able to keep her. So she's off the table. If i was single and stacy needed some dong, I'm not stupid. I'd happily oblige. That's all it would be though. But I'm in my 40s and that hasn't happened yet. So, not likely. As long as she has some qualities that are attractive!

Intelligence? That would be nice! But I'm not afforded the luxury of being picky. Being kind is more important to me than her being a rocket scientist. Some common sense.... About it.

Dealbreakers?

High N count isn't a dealbreaker, however, if she's had more ass than the back seat of a taxicab, then she would fall into the "casual" category. Not because i am that disgusted by it. But because i already have a fluctuating self esteem and knowledge of the fact that she's already had bigger, better, and most likely better looking men, would make me feel inferior. A LTR would be a disiaster because i would be insecure about her happiness with me. Does she miss any of them? Were they better in bed? If any of them come back, would she drop me because his dick was bigger, or because he was a better lay?

Single mom? Been there once. She cheated with the ex. The ex wasn't around while i helped raise the kid for a year. Suddenly he wanted to see the kid and started coming around. I never felt more used in my life. I did all the work of a father, got none of the respect, credit, or appreciation. I'd really have to feel out the situation. If dad is still around, you can understand my hesitation.

The only 100% dealbreaker for me, would be her social life. If she's the partying type, hanging out with lots of people all the time, I'm getting too old for all that and i never was that type anyway. It's a decision of incompatibility. Those women would be bored with me anyway.

I like to think i have a "reasonable amount" of insecurity. Meaning i don't flip out every time my SO wants to go somewhere and do something. If somebody is worse than me in this regard, that's a dealbreaker. I'm already married to one of those. Not doing it again!

There you go. The bar is pretty low. I must be ugly

paint-the-world-red · 2020-04-26T15:09:50+00:00

• Attractive to me

• Attracted to me

• Healthy as in she’s active

• No history of cheating

• No mental issues

• At least 5’8

• Shared common interests

• Compatible personality

• Naturally radiates feminine energy

• Wants to raise a family

snuskbusken · 2020-04-26T10:27:08+00:00

1) looks

2) interesting personality (not boring)

3) not narcissistic

4) not insane

5) not slutty

ILikeToArgueALot · 2020-04-26T14:51:43+00:00

She has a pulse and isnt fat

richlad · 2020-04-26T20:41:49+00:00

Deal-breakers:

Single mom
In debt
Addict of any kind
Neurotic, obsessive about some chores like cleaning or nagging
Has best friend who is into open relationship
Has had FWB relationship with anyone, I choose to date an Escort or pornstar than a girl who had FWB

Things I want:

Attractive
Young
Fertile

XtoDoubt · 2020-04-26T11:32:44+00:00

Pleasant
Looks decent

2020-04-26T12:41:38+00:00

No dependent children , no divorces

Fusiontron · 2020-04-26T13:47:58+00:00

1) At least slightly above average intelligence. A degree would be nice but what I'm really looking for is a lifelong learner.

2) Not a doormat but not a so-called "strong independent woman" type either. Someone who is assertive, not passive/aggressive.

3) She needs to be fit. In terms of face I actually appreciate how different we all look from each other. But for physical attraction, she needs to be in as good as shape as I am.

EDIT: I myself am someone who is in pretty good shape but has some unusual facial features.

TheWorstCatholic · 2020-04-26T19:49:55+00:00

Bare Minimum

Physical Fitness- I watched a best friend die due to being overweight(fuck you fat acceptance) before his eighteenth birthday. I refuse to watch my partner have a similar fate. Ignoring that I want to be attracted to them at least, if I work out to look decent, they can do the same. Then there's added benefits such as general increase of happiness and energy, I could go on honestly.

Open Minded- I love to debate, I love to learn. I hate hypocrisy. I like to talk about things with people, and if you can't handle that, we aren't going to work out. You don't need to be a genius, hell you don't even need to be average or smart, just not being someone who hears something they disagree and instantly get pissy over it or refuse to listen to logic. My motto is to go into conversations to learn, not to defeat, even if it's just over their point of view. (That often means being devils advocate however)

Dark/Dirty/Dad Humor- The Three D's, I love to joke around. If you can't at least tolerate me making some very edgy jokes, or terrible corny ones, it's just not going to work out. I'll drive you insane.

Affectionate/Horny- I'm a big lover, and with relationships in general I want to get what I give. That means lots of snuggles and lot's of rough sex. I'm fine with waiting as well, but if we're gotten to know each other and are serious/married, I want my needs to be satisfied(which of course goes for both of us.). Also using sex as a punishment(or lack there of), instant deal breaker. This goes for affection as well. Fuck people(pun intended) that use basic things in a relationship for petty spites because someone didn't do something they wanted. It's childish and pisses me off, we're adults(even if I'm a young adult) so act like one. I didn't put it up because it should be obvious but COMMUNICATION is a necessity for all relationships.

Deal Breakers

Any of the obvious from above such as unhealthy, close mindedness and hatred of my sense of humor.
Being a "Fixer"- Someone who see's my hobbies and wants to change me. No I'm not going to stop listening to Breaking Benjamin. No I'm not going to give up gaming or writing. No I'm not going to become Vegan, steak is delicious and my family's pasta recipe requires meat. No I'm not going to change my sense of humor. No I won't stop playing cards against humanity or going out with friends, I got my legal right to drink alcohol not a year ago I'm going to enjoy it some. I'm not a side project, I like me, well being me anyways. Don't get with me if you don't, not everyone does that's for certain and it's okay.

Non-Traditional Values- To an extent anyways. I'm not into Poly, I want to get married and have a few kids, so if you're child free, not going to work. So I'm looking for the long term not just fun when it comes to relationships. Also one parent's got to be with the kids consistently, I don't mind being a stay at home dad, but I'm never going to let my kids be raised by a daycare. At least one parent needs to be a mostly stay at home parent.

Dishonesty- Cheaters, liars, thief galore, you're heading straight to door like last night's used up whore. I don't care if it's towards other people or me. If I see it, you're to the curb. As my pops always stated, a man's only good as his word. I plan on being with a woman that I respect, but respect is earned. Dishonesty is the fastest way not to get.

My Looks- I wouldn't know how to rate myself. I know I'm not ugly as I've had more than one woman show interest. I try to stay fit, average height(5'10), strong brow, dark green eyes, decent chin. Hair... you ever see Sam Winchester from Supernatural? It's that. We've got surprisingly similar shape to it. I've had people rate my face at 9 out of ten and other people rate me as 7 or even below five(though to be fair that person didn't like me much at the time.). So I'll let the reader decide what I am on the scale of "How unfuckable is he." I've personally never enjoyed rating myself as I always felt was arrogant of me to do so and they've never controlled on who I went for dating, my likes have generally stayed the same and my hard passes have as well, even when I didn't work out enough.

That's my bare minimum on either. I got other crap for it either but they can be made up for in other areas. Plus this has already become enough of a wall of text. Wait there's one left, no animal haters. I love cats and dogs as much I love eating other animals, If you can't handle the bad luck my black cat gives you, we can't work out.

InternalOperator1 · 2020-04-26T21:14:31+00:00

Have a reasonable career and capable of self supporting
Either no mental health issues or willing and able to get help (medication, therapy, etc. as needed)
Must be sexually compatible / fun in bed. Would rather date a kinky 6 than a frigid 9 (who would date T Swizzy anyway?)
Must have her own hobbies and friends - I've experienced a relationship with entirely shared friends and another where she didn't have hobbies and basically expected me to entertain her / drag her into my hobbies - no thanks
Must be into traveling, hiking, other outdoors things

vicistvic · 2020-04-26T12:31:25+00:00

Women posit this query due to being unsure about expressing interest in partners of their desire.

The popular culture has created a fabrication of sex and relationships. People engage and interact not out of a genuine personal interest, but out of pressure to conform to the popular culture.

Virginity? Lose it against your genuine desire to have sex! You've been liberated. Conform or be stigmatised!

Relationship? Attain experience and declare commitment against your genuine desire to engage yourself and form intimate partnerships. Obtain practice as a married woman and shatter your confidence! Develop pessimistic views on monogamous life and focus on materialistic desires. Spirituality is not important!

Hungry-Nebula · 2020-04-26T12:57:12+00:00

She is into me
She is not abusive (negotiable)
I am into her

That's about it. I would love to have someone who I can relate to, play vidya with, or who has my sense of humour, but that's kind of reaching.

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Mondhalm · 2020-04-26T12:36:47+00:00

if i feel it, i date her

if i don't feel it, i don't

things that make me feel it are both sexual attraction and personal attraction, sexual attration being a good bit more important. if i'm missing sexual attraction i try to get friends, if i'm missing personal attraction good bye.

wtknight · 2020-04-26T16:00:35+00:00

I'm average looking. She has to be somewhat physically attractive. She has to be able to have an intelligent conversation. She has to have never liked casual sex. I'm not into women who are into low-inhibition behaviors either. I've always dated "nice girls" that other men would probably consider boring.

uncommonparka · 2020-04-26T16:44:45+00:00

I’m a taller than average (6’2”, 188cm) but average looking guy who’s slightly heavy (220lbs, 100kg).

I have always naturally gravitated towards bigger women with gorgeous faces even when I was thinner. I guess subconsciously I didn’t see myself being with a 10 because I was average but attractive women who were bigger seemed to always like me.

I like more voluptuous women (hips and ass type thing) anyway so it works out. My partner of six years is a bigger woman (she weighs more than me) who has a gorgeous face and a body that I love. Big boobs and a wonderful butt.

I guess deal breakers for me would be bad teeth and a flat butt with no hips. Obviously her personality has a lot to do with attraction for me as well.

RedJourney23 · 2020-04-26T18:26:28+00:00

I’ve been rated 8-9 IRL and on the rating sub here by several.

I find her sexually attractive, she does not have to be a super model. An average/cute face with a healthy body and a booty that is not flat is enough for me in this department.
No mental health issues
Does not drink to excess or do drugs (occasional marijuana use is fine)
Thinks about the future and I’m actively envisions what she wants her life to look like. Does not necessarily have to be totally compatible with mine immediately.
Good with her money
Is not lazy
Loyal and honest. No history of cheating
Is a sweet person.. treats everyone around her kindly unless they have given her a reason not to
Wants to build something with me and is not distant. No games.
Wants to bang like rabbits

If any of these aren’t met it’s just not worth it to me getting into an LTR. If they are genuinely met, then I am all in

saladfingers4141 · 2020-04-26T18:40:47+00:00

Fit (works out fit not just skinny), nice face, certain level of class (no smokers, junkies, chicks who swear etc) and someone I find at least kind of interesting.

Kedigori · 2020-04-26T18:56:02+00:00

Minimum things I look for:

Within a couple years of my age, older or younger
Physically active/Healthy
Thoughtful (a person of average intelligence with organized thoughts can be better than someone of higher intelligence with a scatterbrain)
Concerned more with me as a person and our respective qualities than "finding a relationship"

Dealbreakers:

Too Neruotic (I've dated people with Anxiety or Depression before - its just a matter of severity)
Self absorbed/Narcissitic
Too Sexually Active (I'm asexual, so I can't really keep up with strong libidos since I have no personal motivation)

I'm a 21 year old slightly above average looking guy. As far as physical attractiveness is concerned, I try to weigh it lightly in my relationship choices. If you love someone, your physically preferences tend to adjust closer to them over time anyway, so it only really matters in the early stages of a relationship. I'm more of a long-term dater anyway.

Sekina7 · 2020-04-26T23:05:43+00:00

Notice NUMBER ONE on most of these lists are LOOKS yet women GOD FORBID are not allowed to have standards otherwise they are selfish , shallow , CC riding whores . Hmmmm🤔

Oppubb0 · 2020-04-27T03:40:20+00:00

I'm average looking, probably a 7.

I get turnt by smart women, extra turnt if multilingual. Based on my history, I like relatively tall girls: 5'8 - 5'9. I'm 6'.

Dealbreakers: Religion. I'm a recovering ex-Christian and I don't think I can deal with religiosity again.

MuleFool42 · 2020-04-27T17:03:23+00:00

That I'm attracted to her, that she doesn't have kids, and that she's not crazy or an addict.

DissidentRaptor · 2020-04-27T18:10:19+00:00

A pulse

throwaway9183940 · 2020-04-29T05:22:04+00:00

Alive. Not dead. Can turn her hair golden buy yelling for a minute.

Pastelitomaracucho · 2020-04-26T10:45:52+00:00

Healthy BMI
Full teeth
Educated. Minimum MSc on a STEM or life sciences subject
Less than 30 years of age

Deal breakers:

1) tattoos

2) substance abuse / smoker

3) children

DarkDoomDoom · 2020-04-26T11:53:23+00:00

Not having passed the cock carousel Not after a mariage or achieving goal life but really after meeting a partner

For physical look it would be just not fat

reluctantly_red · 2020-04-26T15:13:55+00:00

Requirements:

1) Smart. I can't spend time with dumb people.

2) Educated. Can't let smart go to waste.

3) A good career. Can't let that education go to waste.

5) A big round booty.

Deal Breakers;

1) Lazy and/or entitled.

2) Bad skin.

3) Skinny.

JesterMcGavin · 2020-04-26T16:07:08+00:00

I'm not dating anyone anymore, fuck that shit.

Epiphan3 · 2020-04-26T16:58:31+00:00

I gotta say I’m really surprised by how good many of the answers here are, like they are proper and realistic standards. I was expecting more of misogynistic sounding stuff.

robot3000_01 · 2020-04-26T14:47:44+00:00

Would be nice if they'd fucked less than 40men for starters, but I know that's asking too much,.

Followed by at least average face, not fat and not a cunt.

God this is so sad and I'm not even asking for much.

Barely-moral · 2020-04-26T11:13:37+00:00

She must be unable to attract any man that comes even close to my level and be aware of it.

I like to have hypergamy on my side.

She must be attractive to me (4/10 or above).

I helped at homeless shelters so I could find miss moral between the people that needed help.

thruwuwayy · 2020-04-26T21:15:44+00:00

Minimum requirements and deal breakers are 2 different things.

Minimum requirements are characteristics on a spectrum (pun intended), deal breakers are binary (pun intended, again).

For instance, qualities that are on a spectum:

IQ
BF%

Things that are binaries:

gender
genital herpes

However, I'll play!

These are the characteristics that I find attractive:

High IQ
Toned body because she lifts and it shows
Advanced degree (Master or above) in STEM/Business from a top 10% school
Career in STEM/Business
Younger than me, the younger the better
Excellent credit score, financially stable, doesn't live paycheck by paycheck, no consumer debt
Wild sex
Can hold a conversation
Can hold a conversation on topics like sex, religions, politics, sports, economics, philosophy, personal finances with someone who is also a good conversationalist but hold diametrically opposite views
easy on the eye
always dressed for the occasion, never overly overdressed nor overly underdressed.

These are my deal-breaker:

ugly
fat
low IQ
uneducated
mental illness(es)
jealous
single mom
STD
lurking ex(s)
restraining orders against her
she put restraining orders against someone else
broke AF living beyond her means
dead-end job
vulgar
sociopath
narcissist
past criminal activity(ies)
bad credit score
arrogant
same personality as a doorknob
Smoker
drug use
Heavy drinker.
cat lady
sexually incompatible and/or low libido
political activist
religious zealot
obsessed with social media
obsessed with her looks
materialistic

2020-04-26T11:55:42+00:00

Date?

Like have sex with more than once?

If at the end of the first time I can glean that I won't feel embarrassed being seen in public with the girl would be a minimum requirement for that.

Since once you're talking about fucking more than once you're basically talking about potentially signing up to engage in the performance of some form of social construct sooner or later...even as simple as being seen going to each other's homes for fucky fucky

some-sub-guy69 · 2020-04-26T10:56:40+00:00

Sometimes a woman is too good for us ... :)

Tyler_Gatsby · 2020-04-26T13:36:31+00:00

Like others said, I have to be threshold attracted to her enough to want to see her naked.

After that we have to mentally, "click" enough to get along, and have fun together. I need to feel some chemistry. She can't be churchy religious, or vegan/vegetarian/pescatarian/etc.

I used to be ok with past hard drug use, and giving people a chance to change, but it is again a deal breaker. If you've ever lost control of yourself enough to need rehab, that's a deal breaker b/c we can trust yourself. She has to consume cannabis in some fashion though.

Workaholiconew · 2020-04-26T14:09:23+00:00

I have the same requirements as most men in today's market. Which means, the minimal. She has to be perceived as:

Sexually satisfying. (read as: 'make me feel good in bed enough to not enter in despair/celibacy', not 'my personal sexual worker'.)
Reasonable. (read as: 'mostly: psychologically sane, accept responsibility for their own actions and respecting other's freedoms')
Not much of a bother/nuisance. (read as: 'Not resource intensive, considering all resources, including time, energy and emotional energy' or, if it is, with a reward worth it, like high sexual satisfaction.)
Loyal. (Read as: 'Avoiding lying and most behavior against my own self interest, including cheating'

Some men may say they require someone who 'shares their interests', is 'intelligent' or is 'caring'. Those are fine, but I doubt it they really behave as those were requirements. Those seem to be more preferences than requirements to start a relationship.

coolerdrop57156 · 2020-04-26T23:35:26+00:00

Pretty much any woman above a 4 can get the D. To date though shes gotta be on some level attractive. I dont really care about tig bitties or ass. If she is in shape and pretty(face 6 and over) than thats all g.

No SJW shit. You know like blue hair and piercings or tattoos. Your boy dont fuck with with short hair neither.

Cant have a snobby or entitled attitude. That is an absolute dealbreaker.

Single mums too. Thats bad business. So many horror stories about that.

Personality can be different. It depends more on the dynamic not how different or similar we are.

If she has fucked a lot of guys than its kaput.

I have been told by women that I hsve an attractive face, im over 6ft too. I dont know if i have too high or low standards

Axeperson · 2020-04-27T02:38:57+00:00

The barest of bare minimums:

1- attractive enough to contribute to an erection

2- minimally trustworthy: don't steal shit

3- minimally respectful: don't be calling me names in public

4- stable mental health

5- completed high school

Dealbreakers:

No kids, no exes in prison, no stds, no debt.

Caveat: if you don't suck dick I'm gonna cheat

Meritamen9 · 2020-04-26T14:31:28+00:00

[deleted]

DangZagnut · 2020-04-26T10:47:41+00:00

Nothing any more, they have no value.

Back when I did take lovers? Obedience and rule following. That was about it.

Title	What's your minimum requirement in a women for you to date her?
Author	gwbunny_
Upvotes	33
Comments	134
Date	April 26, 2020 8:33 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/g8ax8k/whats_your_minimum_requirement_in_a_women_for_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whats-your-minimum-requirement-in-a-women-for-you.656939 https://theredarchive.com/post/656939

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