For guys who complain about women not emphasizing with men who having dating struggles, what would like women to do to show they care?

the_purring_jew · 2020-06-20T00:22:02+00:00

[removed]

Matt_Door · 2020-06-20T00:24:12+00:00

I’d like to just be heard and not immediately told it’s my fault because I am a secretly a misogynistic piece of shit who only wanted sex all along, just because I have feeling and fail at relationships.

Troy016 · 2020-06-20T00:45:12+00:00

There’s nothing women can do to show they “care” so to speak.

I think men would be happy if men’s problems were actually seen as a problem instead of women saying there not.

On posts where it addresses men’s problems, it’s usually met with tough shit and sucks to suck.

psypD · 2020-06-21T08:48:27+00:00

"No offense to men who say this and have good intentions but it seems that men who spout this basically equate sympathy or empathy with having sex with them, so anything short of that is seen as cruel. "

In this scenario the guy has already been rejected. Rejection hurts in a very real way so it is pretty normal for a guy to not give a damn about your "empathy". Your empathy solves absolutely nothing at that point and is not really desired. If the guy has any self respect he wants you to simply fuck off.

When men say they want more empathy they mean one of two things. They either want more empathy in the initial stage of attraction formation. They want the woman to understand that he may not be perfect and may have faults and insecurities but they are struggling and you could give them a chance. The second situation is when they want empathy while in a relationship and the woman can't see or even try to see their side.

When it comes to communicating with non romantic interests you may overestimate how helpful women can actually be.

Cobra_x30 · 2020-06-20T00:43:15+00:00

The irony of it is, when women do show empathy and compassion, it is classed as BP lies ("Your fine the way you are", "There is someone out there for you", "Your a nice guy, one day you will meet a nice girl"). Guys say they want the truth.

When guys are told the truth ("Your ugly", "Your creepy"), they say they want empathy and compassion.

What do they really want, to know how to change. But as the saying goes "A fisherman does not ask the fish how to catch them".

And if guys just emphasise with them instead of being a role model (not saying they should). It is only natural that they flock to communities that claim to have answers. Some of them luckily only need to fix one or two things. The rest just quit or spend the rest of their lives bitter and jaded.

BROWN-TOILET-PAPER · 2020-06-20T00:35:46+00:00

It's understandable for women not to empathize with guys on the internet looking for it. You're but text on a screen. They don't know you. You could be a piece of shit that doesn't deserve it anyway.

Do any of the guys who struggle, empathize with women on r/femaledatingstrategy? Those women are struggling, I've yet to see one guy on here empathize with them. They're a laughing stock.

Accept that they don't give a shit because they can't. They are a separate being, worried about their own shit they have to deal with and aren't asking you for your sympathy either.

Here's a better way of putting it. They aren't your mommy. A lot of dudes in the manosphere clearly have mommy (and daddy) issues. (don't we all...) The issue isn't 'women' in total. This is evident when you have all these dudes asking for 'sympathy' for women on the internet. WTF.

I'm gonna invent something right now. Those guys, I'm gonna label: Symps.

TheBookOfSeil · 2020-06-20T00:33:27+00:00

I'd say the main issue is the fact that most women cannot relate to the struggles of men just like most men cannot relate to the struggles of women. Most women dont know what it's like to experience the common things that men face everyday in the dating world, which basically lasts all our lives after puberty.

I dont really expect women to understand either, but if anyone didn't have problems with their situations in life, why would they suddenly start thinking about how other peoples lives are?

A lot of women seem to be under the impression that men dont want intimacy or humility from women anymore than women want sex from men and that is just untrue.

Also, women don't seem to understand that men place a lot of value on who they are as people. For women to openly reject that is a big blow to the essence of our beings. There are plenty of decent men who would treat their partners with the love and respect that they claim to want, only to have them basically say "I dont want it from you. I want that but from someone other than you."

A confident man being rejected for his personality is the same as an attractive woman being rejected for her looks.

There is also a tendency for people to treat other poorly if they dont immediately want anything from them and that's part of the issue here.

The other part is that men are being rejected for something that they had no control over by women, while they dont often have that problem, so they end up not being able to empathize, and also sympathize as a result.

For all of the "looks dont matter" virtue signaling that women have done in the past, a lot of them dont act like any of it was ever true. There are plenty of men that you would likely never talk to simply based on their looks alone that might end up being good friends or even more, and if they killed themselves, that thought wouldn't ever even cross your minds. Likely because you've already written them off as "I dont want anything from you, so you're basically worthless to me."

If women actually do care, start treating others as you claim that you want to be treated. If you dont care, then continue doing what you're probably doing.

Edit: I should also say that I don't really expect much of anything to change. Nobody feels like they're doing anything wrong in their lives and that they "don't owe anyone anything" but the situation is what it is and all we can do is accept the facts of reality and work toward changing them in whatever way we can. Mostly for ourselves of course. Cant expect others to do anything for us.

stats135 · 2020-06-20T00:45:45+00:00

I remember I read a news story of a starving man that got arrested for stealing food. Empathy and sympathy meant that no one was willing to prosecute him, because the victim in the story wasn't the store he stole from but the man that had to steal to feed himself. No one is expecting you to feed that man or "have sex with" men you care about, just that you recognize him as a human being with a biological need and that his actions are the result of desperation not wickedness and evil.

DeepCrimsonPill · 2020-06-20T02:18:27+00:00

"Gee that sounds like it sucks. Hope you can achieve your goals."

analt223 · 2020-06-21T06:46:18+00:00

All i want is women to understand that their sexual selection process is what causes "the patriarchy", and to shut up about needing "50/50 ratios in stem, the senate, etc".

HOLYREGIME · 2020-06-20T00:13:40+00:00

1). Stop chasing chads ~~cock~~ coattail.

2). Approach men and not just the ones out of your league.

3). Pay half on a dates.

Let’s start there.

GullibleClassic1 · 2020-06-20T00:06:26+00:00

Stop ranting at men to show empathy for random internet women.

Most guys will care about their female friends, sisters and family members etc.

They just don't care about random women. Yet random women expect random men to care about them.

You want something, then give it first.

Feminists were the ones who claimed to care about men. All they have succeeded in so far is shaming men who don't behave like women.

Before any points it out, yes I know feminism was a load of self serving BS. But hey, lets hold them accountable for their words.

Meritamen9 · 2020-06-20T00:27:29+00:00

Incel men have trouble empathizing with unattractive women because at least they can get sex. They don't understand (or care) that being pumped and dumped would feel worse for a woman than getting nothing. Tbh I'm pretty sure a lot of incels (but not all) would be able to get sex if they didn't focus on young women who are at least a 5/10 but that's a conversation for another day.

A lot of men, especially outside of PPD do empathize with women though.

TheLotusLover · 2020-06-20T00:19:13+00:00

Stop copping out with the "men are responsible for all the bad things in their lifes AND ours" and understand that men and women dont feel emotions at the same intensity nor do either feel certain emotions over the same scenarios. Also dont play the morality card when your doing battle of the sexes arguments as humanity at large has proven to not have an inherent capacity to up hold such ideas as we live in a godless existence slaves to the whim of chemicals in our brains

12112019 · 2020-06-20T02:11:20+00:00

It is a retarded complaint, the men making these complaints don't understand that it is highly idiotic to expect to be pitied by women that they don't know, what will this pity accomplish?

If you feel you are being mistreated by women then go your own way, once you understand what reality is you either do something about it or you don't and accept the consequences, but staying in the grievance stage is not accepting reality fully, it is still believing that someone other than your immediate family actually gives a fuck about you and when they hear how much you have suffered they will offer to help, reality just doesn't work that way, and certainly not with women.

decoy88 · 2020-06-20T07:10:50+00:00

Women already do this successfully. Problem is a lot of these guys simply aren’t close enough friends with the women they have these convos with.

Ever had a minor acquaintance or coworker lose a loved one? Ever had a close friend lose someone? The reactions, effort and care put in is completely different despite it being the same person.

These men are craving love and companionship from the wrong people mostly.

reluctantly_red · 2020-06-20T06:43:19+00:00

I am confused what men who feel that way what women to do exactly.

Me too! Guys need to understand that few people give a shit about their problems -- least of all women other than their mother.

SeemedGood · 2020-06-20T09:08:51+00:00

Be introspective, objectively self observant, and self critical.

The end.

titaniomcgrath · 2020-06-20T01:27:01+00:00

they should be open about their hypergamous nature. but then again I've been told they are afraid of a potential beta uprising once men collectively realize how women really are wired sexually speaking.

GullibleClassic1 · 2020-06-20T02:35:39+00:00

[removed]

lonefroggyfrog · 2020-06-20T00:14:41+00:00

OP, why do you care about that ?

Barely-moral · 2020-06-20T00:23:24+00:00

This comment from a previous thread can be useful

ToraChan23 · 2020-06-21T22:04:12+00:00

Men wanting women to care about male dating struggles are pathetic and it’s laughable.

Why should women give a fuck that’s it’s hard for YOU to get what you want?

darksoldierk · 2020-06-22T03:23:00+00:00

I think those guys just want acknowledgement. Honestly, I don't there there is a better analogy out there, but a woman giving advice about dating is like a fish giving advice on fishing. it's meaningless.

As I said, I think those men simply want acknowledgement of a problem that exist in our society. I don't think they want to hear "you aren't entitled to sex", they already know that. I don't think they want to hear "well, every other guy could have sex, why can't you", they already know that. They want people to tell them "look, women have high standards for men, we live in a world where you, as a man, are significantly disadvantaged in the dating world. It isn't a failure to not have sex, there's nothing wrong with you. You have been put in an impossible position, and unfortunately, that is the way it is. It's not fair, it's not right and I'm sorry. Maybe we can change it in the future, but all you can do is try to be happy. Do the things that make you happy.I know don't think it'll get you anywhere, and it's very realistic to expect that it won't, but at least try to have some fun with it.".

Sid_Insidious · 2020-06-22T03:44:03+00:00

Why would I ask women to behave differently than their nature?

Do I hate snakes because they'll bite me if I ignore the rattle and walk in tall grass wearing shorts and flip flops? Do I expect the snake to change the way it has evolved to live and thrive? Or do I learn from mistakes of others before me, wear tall riding boots and stay the fuck out of tall grass in rattlesnake country?

GullibleClassic1 · 2020-06-20T00:27:21+00:00

[deleted]

taapy234 · 2020-06-20T02:52:18+00:00

Well... on a indivudial level? Nothing really specific.

But on a structural societywide level? lots of things.

I mean, what can a single woman do to help with issues that is affecting men (and ultimately women) on a society wide level?

Reform feminism for a start.

The modern day feminist movement is getting out of hand, and hating men has become a mainstream talking point among feminist circles at this point. A lot of things that they "fight" for are blatantly counterproductive, divisive, manipulative, unscientific, immoral, deceptive, and finally destroying any semblance of connection or camaraderie between men and women. And it seems more and more like these feminists are actively wanting all this judging by how they behave and the kind of "activism" they are doing.

But since this question is all about what women should do to show that they care, my answer would be to stand up to your peers and uphold moderate principles and and call out the "academics" who promote their pet bullshit feminist theories that has little scientific merit.

(I can already hear some bloops typing away saying to me "why don't you do the same?" and my answer would be this: TRP is a RESPONSE to what women are already doing, and continue to do at this very moment.)

stalinisaredditmod · 2020-06-20T05:14:00+00:00

Start by acknowledging that women have all the sexual power. That entitles them to easily get sex, dates, intimacy, flirting, relationships, all of that. A simple way to understand and view it is as equivalent to how men have the physical power. The same way you judge a man for how he uses his physical power, start judging women similarly for how they use their sexual power.

Actual practical things you can do. Support legalising, and making accessible and affordable, prostitution. Most men support it, most women don't. Stop amassing matches on Tinder for entertainment and ego boosts. If you use Tinder, match with a few guys and actually talk to them. Respond to any guy who initiates contact in any form online, be polite and considerate. Even if they're overtly sexual or send dick pics.

One thing you should do is create a Tinder account of an average guy, or a decent looking guy when you don't get any matches with an average guy, and actively try the male experience for a week or two.

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jametrin22 · 2020-06-20T03:27:00+00:00

How about:

"I'm sorry you've experienced that and, as a woman myself, I don't know what that is like. I want to though. I want to hear about your experience and how it affected you, if you want to tell me. I'm sorry you've gone through that."

jametrin22 · 2020-06-20T03:34:55+00:00

The thing is dating sucks for men. And not just unattractive men. I mean any man who isn't in the very tip top in terms of looks/status really struggles. The unattractive men never have a chance to begin with. That's not how it is for women.

Women have their own struggles. Being objectified or used for sex when they want a relationship and when women in my life talk about them I don't respond by saying "It's because you hate men maybe get a better attitude" or even a softer "Men experience objectification and being used for sex too". That would an attempt to derail and/or create a false equivalency. Because it's not the same on those arenas for both genders. Just like an unattractive woman who got turned down for sex a couple times with highly attractive men is not the equivalent of the above average male engineer who, because of his social anxiety, is a virgin at age 28.

learn2earn89 · 2020-06-20T07:55:36+00:00

It's connected to dating but I really don't understand why some women say they are alone when they are lonely and still have people who they can talk with. When I say I am alone, I mean it. I've gone through the worst period in my life completely alone - my family didn't understand anything, my friends all left me. I was literally alone and as a man, it is hard to make new friends, enter groups because you are always judged harshly, especially if you do not conform to the male archetypes. Just basic acknowledgement of this thing is a fine start.

Title	For guys who complain about women not emphasizing with men who having dating struggles, what would like women to do to show they care?
Author	GullibleClassic1
Upvotes	16
Comments	291
Date	June 19, 2020 11:59 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/hcbupz/for_guys_who_complain_about_women_not_emphasizing/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/for-guys-who-complain-about-women-not-emphasizing.696250 https://theredarchive.com/post/696250

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