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ColdxConfection
[–]PutSomeRespectOnItFDS Newbie304 points305 points306 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Truth! Plus the emotional labour since N/LVM are often man-children who have unresolved issues / baggage that they drag into their relationship and expect their wife/gf/fiancée to help them unpack and resolve.
[–]sunologieFDS Newbie68 points69 points70 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
My ex was talking about buying his first house (we are in our early 20s) last spring and said “when I buy one you can rent a room and stay with me” and I looked at him crazy cause like ??? You’re my boyfriend and you own that house why tf would I “rent a room” from you????????????? Am I your girlfriend or roommate ? Especially when he made significantly more money than me!
[–]IAteTheDragonPickmeisha™️20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The absolute scrotacity!
[–]sunologieFDS Newbie19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I didn’t even ask to move in too! He said that completely unprovoked (we didnt livw together, I’ll never live with a man until we are married) so I was like ??? The fuck
[–]_nyleaFDS Newbie192 points193 points194 points 5 years ago (14 children) | Copy Link
This is painfully true, but I laughed at that last part. Every man I’ve ever seen living with other men does 0% of the chores (like the rest of them), and the place is a complete pigsty.
[–]relationship_redditFDS Newbie117 points118 points119 points 5 years ago* (3 children) | Copy Link
In my experience, they won't do any chores unless they absolutely have to, like if there is no laundry or clean dishes left. As far as scrubbing, sweeping, mopping, dusting, etc., never.
[–]_nyleaFDS Newbie56 points57 points58 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Unreal 🤮 I just don’t understand how anyone can live like that. Like, at LEAST vacuum. And wash your towels, your sheets, your clothes... and fold them.
I literally grew up in a house with hoarder parents who barely cooked or cleaned, and I still overcame that even when I went to college. I learned how to cook. I clean regularly. Even when I endured two abusive relationships, sometimes in complete isolation, and was deeply depressed and suffering through my engineering degree.
If I can do it, they can.
[–]oddcharmFDS Newbie37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I once went home with this guy in university (I was broke and he offered pizza LMAO- thankfully he didn’t even get to kiss me let alone sleep with me)
Anyway, the morning after I woke up and watched him go in his dirty ass kitchen, see that there were no clean dishes, then proceed to eat cereal from a pot....
[–]Revy_Ur_EnginesFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
🤨😳
[–]SrUnOwEtOFDS Newbie37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
My male friends have always kept impeccable homes. But then again I do have high standards for friends so....
A dirty home would definitely be a red flag.
[–]_nyleaFDS Newbie11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
You’re lucky! How do you meet men like that?! I think I’ve only encountered one man in my life who cleans constantly (and chefs it up, masterfully). He really has his home life together.
Maybe it’s because I’m just out of college, and working in a field where men are stereotyped as being unkempt and lazy... for a reason, of course. 🥲
When this pandemic is over, I really gotta go meet some new people.
[–]SrUnOwEtOFDS Newbie1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Well... I grew up in a low SES area and kept the same group of friends from basically middle or elementary school to today where I'm turning 27. I don't deal with bullshit and I call my friends on their shit so if they don't handle that well the friendship doesn't last.
My neatest male friend is actually a chef 😂
Yeahhhhhh.... When this pandemic is over I have to get properly married
[–]CoffeeAndCorpsesFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Yeah, my guy friends keep their houses pretty clean also. Some have things like lots of plants or bookshelves, or clutter along the lines of stacks of paper - but nothing that constitutes outright filth.
[–]SrUnOwEtOFDS Newbie0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah like, I have a pile of clean laundry in my room. My desk is a bit of a mess since I just started back up again. But nothing is dirty. It's messy. Could be neater.
[–]ms_monquisFDS Disciple2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
One thing I thought would be awesome about "zoom dating" is that you can ask the guy for a tour of his house without actually being IN the house. You could learn a lot.
(Theoretical, of course, because I haven't had a date in...longer than.)
THATS SO TRUE!!!!!
[–]artemis-codeThrowaway Account4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Sometimes only eating fast food to avoid having to do dishes but still leaving tons of take-out bags/pizza boxes piling up to avoid throwing out the garbage
[–]FitncurlyFDS Disciple288 points289 points290 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
All. Of. This. ☝🏼
And think of it this way, why pay half and have to do all that for him and be monogamous to him when you can pay half with a female roommate, spare yourself the extra work and be with whatever guy whenever and keep vetting 🤷🏻♀️
[–]Barbie-girlFDS Disciple108 points109 points110 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
I so wish it was a thing women living together in platonic relationships. Most women are desperate for male validation though and even when they are with female friends, they are constantly chatting or talking on phone with their boyfriend, they will leave their female friends for him at any given time
[–]thowawaywookieFDS Newbie66 points67 points68 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
And these males offer nothing. Women friends are much more interesting, better to spend time with, more likely to help out when sick and so on.
The brainwashing is so strong but once you see how little men bring to a relationship, you can't unsee it.
[–]ethnicallyabiguousFDS Newbie47 points48 points49 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I’ve been seeing more and more women friends buy houses together and I’m loving it.
[–]Barbie-girlFDS Disciple21 points22 points23 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Maybe we can have a friendship commitment like marriage for living together long term. So the women cannot ditch each other just like that for some useless scrote.
[–]ethnicallyabiguousFDS Newbie15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah most of the ones that I’ve seen that were successful were women with kids, who dated men, but were never getting married or moving in with a man again.
[–]FitncurlyFDS Disciple6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Me too. But we can make it trendy again! I always told myself in my elderly years if I didn’t have my husband (Goddess forbid) I’d love to live a Golden Girls lifestyle with friends.
[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist86 points87 points88 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Or live alone, pay for everything, and enjoy the peace.
[–]PasdepromessesFDS Disciple4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
🙌🏼
Not risking a roommates boyfriend suddenly crowding my space.
[–]_fuyumiFDS Newbie178 points179 points180 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link
Or you can be a dumbass like me in my last relationship. Doing chores for a man I didn't live with bc he was "having a hard time." Then he didn't wanna reimburse me for the groceries bc I ate some of them too (bitch, I'm cooking them, aren't I???) and he never wanted to go to mine bc his was bigger. This man told me I'm always at his apartment and not paying rent.
Anyway that's when I realized his delusion was off the charts, and happily stayed home at my "small, crappy" apartment. I moved a month later, while he was still calling and texting me begging to come over. Like sure, but I don't like there anymore lol. And guess who's still paying the full rent for his apartment and not getting free sex, backrubs, meals, cleaning, dog walking (I really miss that dog), and grocery delivery anymore?? So much easier taking care of ONE household rather than two.
[–]Stitchemup1552 points53 points54 points 5 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
The dog part GOT ME 😭😭😭 I really hope he takes care of his dog bc the males I lived w used my dog as a prop on Snapchat... but couldn't be bothered to walk, feed, or water him... If they ever did walk him it was only to pee, and if they ever fed him I'd come home to his water bowl bone dry.
[–]_fuyumiFDS Newbie39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
He doesn't take the best care of him, usually doesn't pick up his poops (and has gotten several letters from his apartment complex for it), and the dog definitely preferred me after only 6 months of dating lol. He was salty about that, too, but he could have controlled it. The dog was fckin 12 years old when we met
[–]Stitchemup1523 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Jeez I'm praying for the poor puppy... hopefully his dad picked up the slack since you left.
[–]mostly_ok_nowFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I briefly lived with a LVM and how he treated his dog was awful. He had him for a year and NEVER once clipped his nails or gave him a bath. I did all that stuff and brushed out the matted hair behind his ears. I took him on daily walks around the neighborhood. Then the idiot was mad that his dog loved me more. Well yeah dude, you don't do anything to care for him! Miss that doggo.
[–]Unlikely-MarzipanRuthless Strategist24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ugh walking away from the dogs is always the worst.
[–]artemis-codeThrowaway Account5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
Glad you're no longer with that chump. It's sad that these idiots will take advantage of a woman but would never do that to their male friends. I was in a similar situation and damn did I feel like an idiot afterwards. The hardest part is knowing how much time, money, and energy was spent that can't be taken back and just seeing the experience as a lesson learned.
[–]_fuyumiFDS Newbie4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Thank you ❤️ I'm glad you're out of your situation, too. It's easy to say we're dumb, but we're actually generous and compassionate and thoughtful. Now we're saving our gifts for those who deserve it (especially ourselves!)
[–]artemis-codeThrowaway Account1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
So true! Thank you ❤️
This is why I took the animals when my ex and I split. He was really bad about keeping litter boxes clean.
[–]ms_monquisFDS Disciple1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
When I got divorced, I had a friend sneak into the former marital home in the middle of the night to abscond my beloved kitty. (I was waiting until I was moved in to the new place.) The ex didn't even seem perturbed by that. Maybe he was curious that an entire cat was gone, but I guess I'll never know. :)
[+][deleted] 5 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]_boring_daven_FDS Newbie54 points55 points56 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
They’re working very hard to package indentured servitude as “equality”
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's like that line from Fleabag:
"Oh, it's very simple. We've paid them to let us clean their house... in silence."
[–]AnneRB13FDS Newbie76 points77 points78 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
And if pointed out anything of this "but I do help at home"... Yeah if you call it help you are probably not doing even half the chores and still letting all the weight of childbirth and childcare to your wife/partner while making her work full time. Childfree is the way if you can't survive only in his work.
[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist52 points53 points54 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I love it how men say that they "help." Dude, if you are living in a house, you need to be doing half of the chores. That's your duty. What would you be doing if she weren't doing all the chores? You 'd be living like a pig, because you refuse to do them, that's what. So if she's doing it because she doesn't want to live like a pig, then you benefit, and you should pay for everything. You're getting a free maid, and likely a free cook as well. Add in free sex on top of that, and it's a pretty good deal. So shut up and pay the bills.
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple29 points30 points31 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Just like how men 'babysit' when talking about their own actual children.
[–]hotfuzzindahouseFDS Newbie65 points66 points67 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This incident happened close to the end of the relationship. This ex that was long distance and only got to see each other on weekends. Two male roommates moved into the spare rooms in his house. He constantly had people over for suppers and bonfires since the farm he was working on does exchange programs with different countries.
One day we were having a conversation before one of these suppers, and he said he was expecting that he would be in charge of the outside chores and I’d be in charge of the inside chores because that’s what they do In Switzerland.
Um excuse me what?? I don’t even live here, there’s 3 grown ass man living here. If I wanted to clean a house, I would have stayed at home and spent the weekend cleaning my own house. Oh I was pissed. I don’t mind helping out but don’t expect your gf to be a maid wnd cleanup after everyone when she comes visits on the weekends.
This is also coming from the guy that “helped” cook supper from all these people. He just fried some hash browns over the fire and when it came time to clean since he “cooked” he figured he didn’t have to. I was helping putting stuff back in the house and this new girl who just arrived from Germany that day was in the house cleaning his friggn pots. Where was he?? Visiting outside with the men. The relationship ended very shortly after that (There other reasons to) but that was a huge red flag. Just utter ridiculousness. (Sorry for the novel haha)
[–]NotGoingOutsideAgainFDS Newbie107 points108 points109 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I never quite got to the final thought so articulately, but this is spot on the money
[–]souredskittlesFDS Disciple54 points55 points56 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I know right. I’d like to see pickme and libfem clap back to this.
[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist36 points37 points38 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We do a lot more caretaking and household labor, which is why they should pay for everything.
Otherwise, I'm happy keeping it simple and running my own house where I pay for everything, the household runs for my comfort and convenience, and I do whatever the fuck I want, when I want. But I'm not paying half and doing all the housework, ever.
[–]alivebut-justbarelyFDS Apprentice238 points239 points240 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I've never lived with a man I was not married to and during our marriage he happily paid all the bills. Seems like clownery to do anything else. Men are providers and if a man doesn't want to provide he can be in very loving relationship with his hand. Before marriage was invented the men who couldn't provide and protect did not have access to women. Marriage was invented so that every man, even the losers, could have a woman. And now look where we are. Refuse to date men who won't provide. Providing is in their nature and if they suck at it they are defective.
[–]Skyegod34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I married a man I thought who liked paying bills, but used it as leverage for way nonsensical bullshit. It's a good sign, but not conclusive on its own.
[–]Barbie-girlFDS Disciple51 points52 points53 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
This. Sick and tired of women who are marrying loser men and doing everything for him (in my culture, they even have to take care of the men's aging parents in addition to everything mentioned above) just for social approval that they have a man. Everytime I open facebook and see some woman marrying an absolute loser of a man who is most times also very ugly. I refuse to like their post and encourage this behaviour. Of course I have received a lot of hatred for still being single but better single than to live a nightmare life being lifelong servant of a man and his parents.
[–]mscristalconnorsFDS Newbie32 points33 points34 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
👏🏼
[–]QueenNoir21FDS Newbie43 points44 points45 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Cleaner is a full time job. Chef is a full time job. Therapist is a full time job. If I’m going to be all those things for you I reckon I deserve the combined salaries of ALL these jobs.
[–]yourscreennamesucksFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Nah they just let the house get trashed.
[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH67 points68 points69 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I would rather die and donate my body to science than pay for anything in a relationship, ever
[–]evil_mom79FDS Newbie16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Your username is chef's kiss
[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
lol thank you 🥰😘
[–]evil_mom79FDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I will now paint your body with melted chocolate...
[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Jambee!
The chocolate icing!!
(suggestive moaning)
[–]astromucThrowaway Account16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
Ive never paid 50% and even though so, I dont offer free meals, free sex and free labour, either. I cook for the ones I love, when I feel like, make loving with the man I am in love with. If you cant feel it, dont be in a relationship. Why do these women have to be so bitter. If a man does not treat you the way you want, cut him off. Why the hell do you live with someone and feel like you "have to" do housework, cook for him and give him sex as a gift. Its so wrong. Be alone. Sex should be magical, for both. Its a joy for both people. I'm all in for FDS and finding the HVM, but bitter feelings dont help. Love yourselves first.
[–]ColdxConfectionPickmeisha™️[S] 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You're missing the point of this post. There's nothing wrong with this when the male is actually pulling his weight. Most of the time they don't. Women have been used for their free labor for thousands of years. I'm glad you have never had to deal with a dude like OP is talking about.
I love cooking for my SO, it brings me happiness to see him eat the food I make, he doesn't expect me to cook every single night or be his personal chef or tailor every dish to his tastes.
I love having sex with my SO, he focuses on my pleasure and doesn't use my body to masturbate, one Mississippi two Mississippi - done.
There's a difference between being used as a bangmaid and being in a loving, equal relationship. If someone is happy with this setup (and trust me, they usually always aren't from them venting when their BF isn't around) then that's their prerogative. But this is FDS where I'm not down to be used for free labor and we're aware that lots of men are trash like this & absolutely take advantage while being bums. So I'm gonna call it out.
[–]LilyFuckingBartFDS Newbie13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wait... I’m confused... are roommates not a thing anymore?
[–]Confection_EfficientFDS Newbie38 points39 points40 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I think you better call Tyrone.
[–]MiaNaimFDS Newbie35 points36 points37 points 5 years ago* (1 child) | Copy Link
🎵 And tell him come oooonnnnnnn help 👏🏾you 👏🏾get👏🏾 yo shit🎵
[–]Elisa_LaViudaNegraFDS Newbie23 points24 points25 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
🎤 COME ON COME ON COME ONNNNN 🎤
[–]shipintheskyFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Wow, thank you FDS women! I'm not american, never heard anything by Erykah Badu, she's phenomenal, WHAT a voice. I'm in loooove
[–]Confection_EfficientFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Lol you are so welcome!
[–]AbundantOverflowFDS Disciple17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
🗣 but you can’t use my phone!
[–]PutSomeRespectOnItFDS Newbie10 points11 points12 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
LOL this song came to my mind too!
[–]pinkcloudzzzFDS Newbie26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Exactly.
[–]peachpy54FDS Apprentice1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
UUugh men don't want to live with other men because.... MEN are terrible to live with! They know their own kind better than we do!
[–]SrUnOwEtOFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Accurate. My husband and I split chores. And bills.
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
[removed]
[–]ChocoBananzaFDS Apprentice14 points15 points16 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
It is, but just in theory. The reality is that the woman will alway give more in the relationship, one way or the other. The post was about how men don’t want to live with other men because they don’t have access to other benefits, such as listed above.
[–]pastadedientesFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ohh I get it now. Lmao I don't know why I got downvoted
Thank you for the explanation!
[–]LadyKaitlynFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Read the handbook in the side bar
[+][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]pastadedientesFDS Newbie-1 points0 points1 point 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
?
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[–]Revy_Ur_EnginesFDS Newbie9 points10 points11 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist86 points87 points88 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]_fuyumiFDS Newbie178 points179 points180 points (11 children) | Copy Link
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[–]AnneRB13FDS Newbie76 points77 points78 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]purasangriaRuthless Strategist52 points53 points54 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]alivebut-justbarelyFDS Apprentice238 points239 points240 points
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[–]_HEDONISM_BOTFDS STRATEGY COACH67 points68 points69 points (4 children) | Copy Link
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[–]ColdxConfectionPickmeisha™️[S] 4 points5 points6 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]ChocoBananzaFDS Apprentice14 points15 points16 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]pastadedientesFDS Newbie2 points3 points4 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]LadyKaitlynFDS Newbie7 points8 points9 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[+][deleted] (1 child) | Copy Link
[deleted]
[–]pastadedientesFDS Newbie-1 points0 points1 point (0 children) | Copy Link