What type of men cheat on their wives? Have you ever met a man like this? How was he?

Pontifex_Lucious-II · 2021-01-10T10:49:25+00:00

They tend to not be religious but are economically successful. Most of their “relationships” seem to be more father/daughter than adult/adult. Nothing seems to phase them much in terms of self-esteem. So like a moth to the flame, women line up to test and tame them.

I have a family member who fathered 9 kids with 5 different women. He cheated on all of them. And each successive one understood he cheated on the ones before.

Sekina7 · 2021-01-10T11:25:10+00:00

The sad thing in this is , I bet most of the women being “cheated on” were in part chosen by their asshole partners due to their virtue . Note not all of the men spoken about here are typical chads and based on the lacking morals of a lot of PPD males it’s all the woman’s fault for “choosing wrong” . Then men wonder why the divorce stats are so high ?

Seriously, women have every right to take advantage of the fact they no longer HAVE to get married to survive economically or have kids by a man who is trash , financially incapable and /or abusive...

Soon-to-be-Catlady · 2021-01-10T14:01:48+00:00

My Brother in law turned out to be one of those. Both our families are upper middle class, he and my sister are both doctors (met in med school) and were together for about 8 years when they got married. They started trying for a baby after the wedding and she got pregnant shortly after. That's when he started messaging a nurse from his clinic a lot (as we found out later). Baby was born and he pretty much ignored it, went drinking every weekend while my sister didn't have any help, and then he suddenly had to "work late" very often. My sister eventually sat him down to discuss what's the deal with him and fatherhood, when he broke down crying he fell in love with the nurse (she's several years younger and the typical Instagram chick) and has been screwing her for the last couple weeks. He said he loved them both. My sister said let's have a few days apart and then discuss this again, and she would have taken him back if he showed any regret or will to save the family. But he came back pretty much saying he can't decide what he wants, no remorse whatsoever. So she kicked him out and divorce is incoming. By now we are quite sure he has narcissistic traits. He doesn't really have an ounce of empathy towards my sister and is confused that she doesn't want to be super friendly with him (she's nice in front of the child, but apart from that rather "cold"). He doesn't get why his friends are not okay with his behaviour. He also was quite surprised by the amount of child support he has to pay her and told her it would be "immoral of her to take that much money from him" (the audacity to talk about morals...). It's apparently common for men with narcissistic personality to cheat when a baby comes as the main attention goes towards the child instead of them. As well that they always have a new "attention giver" lined up before leaving the previous one. Additionally he's Instagram obsessed and follows lots of account of half-naked women. It's now also becoming obvious he has some more psychological issues, he lies a lot to his family to please them and look good etc. He actually has quite low self-esteem regarding his looks and skills which he tries to compensate. We all hope he'll go to therapy. By now he thankfully spends more quality time with the child.

spacechicken1990 · 2021-01-10T09:35:52+00:00

Bad ppl.

Jks aside cheating occurs for several reasons and is often situational. Only thing that comes to mind is fuckbois who are just out there throwing their dna at any half decent puss that walks by.

reluctantly_red · 2021-01-10T10:14:54+00:00

[deleted]

smokecheck1976 · 2021-01-10T14:57:47+00:00

Maybe I can answer, though I can ultimately only speak for me. I didn't set out to cheat. I didn't set up a profile, or hang out in bars, or anything like that. At the same time, I wasn't drunk, I knew what might happen, and I didn't stop when I should have. My wife, at the time, had deliberately "iced" our bedroom. We had not, as a matter of fact, had sex, or any physical interaction at all, in over 8 months. If she didn't deride me for not making enough money, it was spending too much time at work, or not being fit enough (when did I have time for that?), or not "doing enough chores" when I did all the chores that actually got done, then said I was a selfish lover because the last few times before that, I admit I went at it like a man dying of thirst drinking water while she starfished.

It still isn't my ex-wife's fault. You are responsible for your actions and no one else's.

I had an opportunity to take an extended trip to train some of our customer's in Europe. My first full night in country, I stopped in at the coffee shop in the same square as my hotel. I am the sort that at least attempts to learn some local language before I go somewhere. There was a woman sitting in the coffee shop, so I decided to ask her in Italian what the time was. She stared, then laughed, then said, "Just speak English." It led to some small talk, to her asking me to sit down, to two hours passing before the proprietor shooed us out. We met again the next day and had sex two days after that. It just felt so damned good to actually be wanted.

The affair went on the entirety of the trip. The truth was that I quickly fell in love with my mistress. I wanted to come back to the US, dump my then wife, and move my mistress in with me, but I knew what my honor compelled me to do. I spent one more night with her and then went home to my wife. My ex-wife has never known about it. I endured three more years of a dead marriage, trying to keep it going for my kids. Damnit, I tried. Then, she decided I was no longer of any use to her and she effectively destroyed my life. Honor damned me. Wherever my mistress is, I really hope she is well and happy.

ChibsFilipTelfordd · 2021-01-10T09:46:44+00:00

Thankfully I've never met a man like that at least one who was honest about it to me. I'd have a lot of trouble remaining friends with them if i had. I'd possibly even anonymously tell his wife. That's a fucked situation.

SherbertBacon · 2021-01-10T11:01:13+00:00

Have you ever met a man who consciously and systematically cheated? How would you describe him?

Yep, he's actually one of my work friends but he has no idea that I know. Incidentally, the way I found out is because we're eskimo brothers from one of the people he's been with. I suspected he was unfaithful long before it was made known to me that he was: he gave off lots of vibes. The way he spoke about other women, the way he spoke about his marriage, the way he complained about hearing our struggles being single and how being single is still great in many ways where marriage sucks... I could tell he hasn't been happily coupled for some time.

Before anyone asks:

Is his partner unattractive? Nope, she's smoking hot
Dead bedroom? Not to my knowledge
Is he attractive? Yep, and tall and successful and fit. But the women he goes for, in my opinion, are not as hot as his partner, and personally kind of "meh" to me.

Ultimately he's my friend, but it puts a serious damper on our friendship knowing how he conducted himself in the past in his relationship. I've never been privy to information of him being unfaithful in the present, but I'd be very torn about speaking up if I was. He's a good guy in many ways, but I would guess woefully unhappy with himself and his situation, and dishonest about it outwardly and inwardly.

Edit: Oh also my dad cheated on my mom multiple times and it was because he's incredibly insecure and doesn't know how to handle his emotions better than a twelve-year-old.

I_Love_Futa_Dick_UwU · 2021-01-10T16:06:44+00:00

I'm from Germany and when I was a student I worked as a barman in a brothel for a brief amount of time. From what I saw, there isn't necessarily a type who cheats on his wife. I saw every type of men cheat on their wives from the young professional left leaning guy who only got recently married to the 55 something conservative working class family dad.

People are random and weird.

GreatDayBG · 2021-01-10T16:16:58+00:00

I know one in his late 40s. He says he feels cheated by his wife. When they got together he promised her he would be able to ensure them very comfortable and luxurious life. She had to take care of the house, the kids and stay pretty.

He got rich and usually is generous with his presents towards her and the children. Their kids are lazy and spoiled. She can't cook or clean so he does it himself. She got fat.

In his eyes he honored his part of the deal but if anything she just started performing worse over the years.

I won't say if he is right or wrong. That's just what he confessed to me.

Atlas__B__Shruggin · 2021-01-10T11:19:37+00:00

the male type

2021-01-10T12:39:23+00:00

Men (and women) I‘ve met that cheat habitually no matter who they are with do it for the thrill. Their relationships can be fine, great even. They like cheating. They are horny, like attention and take opportunities. The men might even pay for it. One guy had a list of cheating fetish porn sites- not cuck. Women cheating, men cheating, women tempting taken men. Giving in to lust when it’s wrong and might hurt someone is a risk and turn on to a lot of people.

All of these men were professionals in their prime. They definitely did not see the OW as better. Girlfriend or wife served the purpose of security and making them feel like good men fulfilling their masculine role. Quantity over quality seemed to be the psychology and the situation was more enticing than the person. No drama, no strings was the standard. I guess the other masculine role is to spread it around and they want to fulfill that role, too.

catfishmasc · 2021-01-10T14:56:01+00:00

Almost every guy I know.

DXBrigade · 2021-01-10T16:40:41+00:00

2 types of cheaters:

the occasional cheater: could be anyone
the compulsive cheater: narcissists with little morals

luckecage · 2021-01-10T09:38:46+00:00

I have meet two guys like this they are booth we’re high net worth individuals very successful at their job and career both have very beautiful wife and they constantly cheat on there wife’s. I have no idea why they do it

2021-01-10T10:52:33+00:00

I used to know one guy in the army. He had his local GF pregnant and his GF up north Pregnant.

Then he got kicked out the army (for a different reason).

What was he like? He was a complete fuck up. Tried to throw me under the bus once.

Mosaed21 · 2021-01-10T10:55:13+00:00

Narcissistic or anti-social types. Either they like attention or just don't care about their partners feelings. Pretty common

wtknight · 2021-01-10T15:52:48+00:00

Men cheat because they want variety and sexual adventure. They can cheat any time that they feel that they're aren't getting enough of this from their wife. They can still be in love with their wives, and still want to cheat, because the feeling of being desired by another woman gives them a thrill. I imagine that it's even more of a thrill if that woman is younger and more attractive than their current wife.

Men who actually are fully in love their wives won't cheat on them, though, if they feel that her finding out about that cheating would hurt her. Many couples aren't "fully in love" after years of marriage, though, so a man who has the opportunity and who doesn't think he'll get caught will often just not care enough about his wife not to cheat. Or he may justify it in his mind by saying that he's not in love with the other woman like he is his wife, so it's okay. In fact, there are some woman who actually say that this kind of cheating is okay with them as long as he's not in love with the other woman.

When women cheat, they have fallen out of love much more with the man than the husband has with the wife in cases of male cheating. They don't crave the sexual variety that men do, and are instead enticed by better men than their husbands, whether these men are intrinsically better, or whether it's because the husband has become lower value during their marriage. Sometimes a woman just meets a man who is more compatible with her than her husband, as well.

rickmackdaddy · 2021-01-10T13:14:59+00:00

Any man who got less sex after marriage than he did before marriage.

So, like, every man.

thelajestic · 2021-01-10T09:47:41+00:00

Not meet any in real life (that I know of) but a few guys on tinder I started chatting to who then revealed they were married (thankfully before I met any of them).

As far as I recall they were all kinda average looking professionals. One had a wife who only liked vanilla sex so he was going behind her back to try and get kinkier sex. One was in a dead bedroom situation.

energizersnake · 2021-01-10T09:52:33+00:00

Is it an imbalance condition or something mental?

Snacksbreak · 2021-01-10T13:39:42+00:00

Statistically the chances of him cheating sharply increase when he makes a lot more money. So that's one indicator: does he make significantly more than his wife?

Correct_Impress4953 · 2021-01-10T16:44:46+00:00

AMA...

IMO the people who are incensed by cheating don’t know themselves very well. Mostly resentment and jealousy.

reluctantly_red · 2021-01-10T17:54:20+00:00

Contrary to popular belief, I don't think the men that do this are in dead bedroom situations.

Having a backstreet girl pumps up a guy's testosterone. His wife benefits from this.

Exvareon · 2021-01-10T20:55:05+00:00

Contrary to popular belief, I don't think the men that do this are in dead bedroom situations. This is because men that do this are typically attractive for their age so their wives don't really lose attraction to them.

I disagree. While I have never been married, from what I have observed around me, while being married to someone, you can totally take your partner for granted and stop putting in any kind of effort towards the relationship, including effort at sex, and for some people even flirting. They might be attracted to their spouse, but they never show it and expect the other person to just know it.

This new man/woman on the other hand doesn't take them for granted. They are actually giving them what their spouse was giving them at the start of the relationship (but no longer does).

EDIT: IMO this is one of the reasons why marriages rarely work, because people forget to put in effort and take everything for granted.

DicamVeritatem · 2021-01-10T13:07:49+00:00

100% married Chads who find women throwing themselves at them on the regular.

PrincessFKNPeach · 2021-01-10T09:52:18+00:00

My favorite uncle had a second family and my grandpa had a second family. They were both hard-working father-figures, and the voice of reason compared to their wives. To be fair, my aunt and grandmother were very mean and spiteful people. I know for sure my aunt was abusive to him. However, if I recall correctly, the oldest child of the other family was around the same age as the kid that they had together, so there's a chance he was doing it the entire time and instead of leaving him, she just chose to make him suffer, too.

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cast-away-ramadi06 · 2021-01-10T16:22:43+00:00

What type of men cheat on their wives? Have you ever met a man like this?

Men with poor self-discipline, poor self-control, low self-worth, high narcissism, low integrity, etc.

I've met a few like this, especially when I was in management consulting. Usually, their wives knew what they were getting themselves into when they married that type of guy. Occasionally you'd see a wife who was just naive and didn't sufficiently vet her husband's moral character while they were dating. She got what she wanted - a too smooth talking & successful guy, she just didn't know what else tends to go along with that.

I tend to not associate myself with people like that at work or in my personal life.

SaBahRub · 2021-01-10T16:58:59+00:00

Wealthy dudes, in my experience

If they weren’t wealthy, they weren’t married

Correct_Impress4953 · 2021-01-10T17:00:25+00:00

Ironically it is the ‘best’ men by almost all societal measures.

Cheating is amoral (in modern age) bc feminized society wants women to have control over their man.

Sage_Planter · 2021-01-10T17:08:08+00:00

In my experience, it's a mix of what you've shared plus cowardice.

The men who I know who have cheated were in bad marriages. Neither party was terribly happy, but they pretended otherwise. Instead of going through the difficult work of either fixing their marriage or starting the divorce process, these men ran to the arms of mistresses to avoid their problems and get a hit of the good feels. Not only does it give them a temporary escape, once the wife finds out, it's either going to force them to work on their problems or force them to divorce.

PreparationWorried33 · 2021-01-10T17:45:37+00:00

Ones who have sex addiction, ones who are polyamorous but forcing themselves(in public anyway) to be monogamous so they don’t lose their wife or gf. Ones who have relationship issues but are too cowardly to break things off. Etc

JameisBong · 2021-01-10T18:27:24+00:00

Usually it's a guy who's charismatic enough to pull it off or a psychopath who doesn't care. The man will usually have other short comings, not just infidelity.

Sufficient-Ad-3586 · 2021-01-10T18:47:26+00:00

Doctors,

Just about every doctor I’ve ever met has a history of unfaithfulness

Probably any other high income as well.

sublimemongrel · 2021-01-10T19:21:40+00:00

I know a a lot men who do this. They are rich middle aged men who take every opportunity to network out of town and away from their wives and family. And they specifically utilize their wealth to attract younger mistresses.

daproest1 · 2021-01-10T19:31:36+00:00

My ex gfs dad. I remember when she broke up w me (after 6 years), blocked me, then disappeared, I went to him for help. I was an anxious wreck. She wanted to marry me after all so I thought of him as family even though we weren’t that close. The type of response I got from him was NOT what I was expecting. He tried to compare me to himself when he was younger.

I told him “no. Yes I could’ve been better, but I never cheated on her or lied to her. Never disappeared on her or tried to control her. You’ve cheated on every wife you’ve ever had. Even your current one.”

Then he proceeded to smile and tell me stories about his youth. He tried justifying all of it. I could’ve believe it. I was dying and here he was with zero empathy.

This man was middle class. Car salesman. Family man (blended family OBVIOUSLY). And to top it all off.... religious. Yep. As religious as they come. The Bible. Holding hands and praying over thanksgiving dinner. The whole thing.

Expensive-Guitar3609 · 2021-01-10T20:46:58+00:00

"Having been the other woman myself, I would say the profile of men who do this is like this:

Middle-class professional and financially secure

Thinks they deserve better than their wives/have higher SMV than their wives."

You wrong, the profile of men that do this is:

Upper class men, specially very wealthy men, and middle class men who are very good looking.

Think their wives are good homekeepers/mothers and also classy women they can present in their social circles, or think they will lose too much in divorce and they can keep "younger" hot side girls in the dark all they want anyways due to their high status.

I've seen this. Lots of times, I am around wealthy powerfull and influential men all the time, both from the political and the corporative world.

No matter how young they are, they are always invariabily married to "nice, respectable women", and they all cheat on their wives. Sometimes their wives know about it even, they just turn their heads around and act like nothing happens.

I've been in so many "couple meetings" of the "high class" and have heard the men talk... I'm not a moralist at all but man that's really disgusting. And they sit all together in these large tables and act happy and all, but you can tell all men know they are a bunch of fucking cheaters, and all the women know they are being cucked, and the woman next top them, and they have to put on a show to keep things going.

As a former player, you would think these things would make me laugh, but dude I tell you, knowing these "trophy wives" is a soul shattering experience. They live so much miserable lives and pay a really high prize for the material things their husbands provide them.

You want to know why these guys cheat? Because these men can. Not because their wives aren't pretty, they are young even in some cases. Actually, some of these men's wives are the women they cheated on their ex-wives with, so you would think they are satisfied with their marriages now.

And sometimes they are, but they cheat anyways, because there is always a hotter, younger, better looking woman out there with a nicer pair of tits, a firmer ass and a tigher pussy, and women never stop coming for these guys.

Working class guys really apreciate their women because, as simple as it is, they probably have met a handfull of women in their entire lives, and they just marry the woman that sticks around for whatever reasson.

For the hard working man his wife is his most valuable threasure, it's the one that waits for him after a long journey with the dinner still warm, the one that carries their kids, takes care of the home and order him to get a good haircut when he starts to look like a hermit.

Hard working men don't have the resources to cheat neither. Nor the time.

Funnily enough, in my experience, these are the men that get chested and screwed the most.

Jakes1967 · 2021-01-10T21:32:04+00:00

What type of men cheat on their wives?

All types

Have you ever met a man like this?

Met quite a few

How was he?

They were all different types, shapes and sizes

I am not talking about men situations where a drunk man cheats once and then regrets it. I am talking about men who consciously cheat and even keep Mistresses for months or years.

My former best friend, had a total of 14 affairs (Not including ONS).

Another guy, who had an absolutely gorgeous wife, cheated on her with the ugliest woman I've ever met.

This phenomenon is more common than some people think. There are many stories on /r/theotherwoman where married men string along their Mistresses for a long time.

IIRC 8 Years is longest I know of.

Having been the other woman myself, I would say the profile of men who do this is like this:

Middle-class professional and financially secure

Nope, none of them were

Thinks they deserve better than their wives/have higher SMV than their wives.

Some were, most weren't, although there was a distinct difference in partner counts. Those with lower n-count, cheated more readily and had much lower standards.

Contrary to popular belief, I don't think the men that do this are in dead bedroom situations.

True most weren't

This is because men that do this are typically attractive for their age so their wives don't really lose attraction to them.

Except for a few, most men that cheated, were average at best. Oddly, the women who cheated, were all types, although the hoe was pretty consistent.

However, the men might feel dissatisfaction in their marriages for other reasons.

True, but usually it was a power thing. The more egalitarian the marriage, the more likely the man would cheat.

Have you ever met a man who consciously and systematically cheated?

Yes, my former best friend

How would you describe him?

Handsome bullshitter, with a doting wife

RahLyt · 2021-01-11T01:28:52+00:00

Not even joking but at least 70% of my friends. It's funny how no one else has this experience. None of us are married yet. I'm almost 100% sure they will just never change.

redditthrowaway1478 · 2021-01-11T04:45:23+00:00

Middle-class professional and financially secure

Lol so pretty much 90% of people? Wasn’t there a study that said that most people, even upper class, think that they’re still in the middle?

Gerealtor · 2021-01-11T11:00:57+00:00

I think there are compulsive cheaters, probably with lower-than-average empathy and likeliness to cheat regardless of circumstances, and then people who may cheat at some point in the relationship/their life given the right circumstances. The latter category is like 99% of all people - maybe less so women because they don't have the impulsive physical incentive that men do.

FrivolousMood · 2021-01-12T07:28:20+00:00

Most married men who cheat do so because of infrequent sex caused by an uninterested wife.

2021-01-13T16:35:09+00:00

Addicted to porn, isn't LARPing as a good guy (i met him single and then again a few years later when he was married) he was pretty open about being shitty, middle class, more on the average side of looks

ivy176 · 2021-01-14T03:37:18+00:00

Flirty extroverts, attention seekers and low self esteem types

Mimoxs · 2021-01-10T09:23:08+00:00

1) religious and/or tradcon lifestyle men

2) sex addicts

Have you ever met a man who consciously and systematically cheated? How would you describe him?

Some, in my home area culture. They're usually lowlife types, no real value, lazy jobless slobs, OR very wealthy and well-employed men.

The latter tend to be less religious, but more sociopathic.

pre-DrChad · 2021-01-10T10:01:28+00:00

How would you describe him?

5'9, 160 lbs, caramel desi, calls himself pre-DrChad but he's actually gigaChad, his parents don't think dentists are real doctors, demands pics of bobs and vegana in his free time

MyLadySupporter · 2021-01-10T13:14:13+00:00

Men with dead bedrooms cheat on their wives. Guess who’s at fault for that situation most of the time?

Pastelitomaracucho · 2021-01-10T10:14:04+00:00

Have you ever met a man who consciously and systematically cheated? How would you describe him?

Just as you did, but with a caveat: they simply love the attention from women, the access to sex, feeling desired, feeling that the other woman longs for them, feeling that they are sexually attractive and capable of conquering women if they want to.

And downright quite amused with how women are willing and able to share a man.

nevermind_-_- · 2021-01-10T11:39:12+00:00

The type of man who date women who fails to give him enough attention maybe? Idk. But it could be

Snacksbreak · 2021-01-10T10:49:27+00:00

Most middle aged men i hang out with at least slept with one other girl if that counts cheating.

There are a lot of different reasons and scenarios how people cheat, the mistress situation is usually happens when the wife is more autonomous or putting most of her care and time on the child. A guy who doesn’t feel special or needed anymore can be easily seduced by young ambitious secretary types.

Thinks they deserve better than their wives/have higher SMV than their wives.

That is the most common lie, if a mistress thinks she is more important than the man's wife, she is usually wrong. The man probably enjoys the thrill of cheating with a young woman, but it goes away very soon.

A man can sleep with young girls and may still love his wife in another scenario, but these type of men don't lie like "i don't love my wife anymore, etc." And if the mistress pushes him to choose between his wife and her, he will point out the door to mistress instantly. These are true HVM and their wives usually take up with his behaviour since she doesn’t have power to keep him away. Still these man are bound and respect their wives.

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-01-10T12:12:15+00:00

Something like over 30% of men "cheat" in the end.

However, usually it's after their wives retire from sex.

skystar86 · 2021-01-10T19:00:58+00:00

Sex addicted. Very low inhibition. No self control. Addictive personality. Need for dopamine.

Laytheblameonluck · 2021-01-10T10:37:15+00:00

There's a couple regulars in /r/deadbedrooms that cheat on their wives.

Title	What type of men cheat on their wives? Have you ever met a man like this? How was he?
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	24
Comments	179
Date	January 10, 2021 9:05 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/kub6qq/what_type_of_men_cheat_on_their_wives_have_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/what-type-of-men-cheat-on-their-wives-have-you.752937 https://theredarchive.com/post/752937

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