Wife confesses to timing her divorce, in order to use alimony as a tool of revenge

Ultramegasaurus · 2014-08-30T12:16:36+00:00

Don't get married. Chivalry is shit.

craigske · 2014-08-30T15:11:25+00:00

Too bad he likely will never see the post. If he did, the judge might not take too kindly to her gaming the system.

We live in a time of horrendous double standards. Do women not see how lame they sound when they say this stuff? They devalue women as equals and instead depend on becoming victims when relationships break down. It's pathetic.

It's time alimony went away. We're taking about fully grown adults here. There should not be any obligation to support the other after the relationship dissolves. Gender shouldn't matter.

xNOM · 2014-08-30T16:12:46+00:00

I make my own money as well (about $60k after bonuses) while he is now making $90k. I do have evidence that he has continued the affair.

Why is the affair even relevant? I thought everything was no-fault now? Also, why does someone making 60k per year at the time of divorce need alimony to begin with?

Truly childish overall.

Salient0ne · 2014-08-30T15:06:08+00:00

Pro Tip: never get married.

krudler5 · 2014-08-30T16:30:46+00:00

I actually like the top comment:

As someone in this exact position, let me say this: I will take alimony because I have been home and out of the workforce since we married. Now we have two small children, and I had to leave college when I was pregnant with the first. The assumption was that I would finish college once the youngest was in school but his affair has ruined that plan. Now I struggle to find a way to support myself and my kids and the most I can hope for it minimum wage at a fast food restaurant. THIS is the situation that alimony is made for. Your situation, your having a salary, I am jealous of. I would love to be able to support myself and my kids without depending on him. I would rather not beg my children to do well in school, especially my daughter, in hopes that they never end up in my situation.

This is the kind of woman I could support having alimony/child support. But definitely not the OP.

BullsLawDan · 2014-08-30T15:26:50+00:00

She says elsewhere in the thread she's 27, which means the marriage has been relatively short. That fact, combined with her significant income, means she's not going to get much if any alimony.

And take further solace in this, /r/MensRights : The fact that she knew about the affair and stayed for so long after discovering it will actually work against her in getting alimony.

Husband's Lawyer (HL): When did you find out about the affair?

Wife (W): A year ago.

HL: So if you stayed that long, I guess it wasn't a big deal to you then?

W: No, it was a huge deal. It's why I'm filing for divorce.

HL: So why did you stay so long?

W: To get more alimony.

Either it wasn't a big deal, or she stayed to take revenge. Neither looks good in the eyes of the judge awarding any sort of discretionary alimony.

doctor_doob · 2014-08-30T12:54:18+00:00

Holy fuck. Every last woman on that thread is a complete and utter cunt.

Edit: women post shit like this on reddit, with every other woman on the site giving them 'you Go girl!'s for it, and then they wonder why men don't want to get married -- hell, on that one thread a month ago, they went on and on and on about how any man who doesn't want to get married must have something wrong with them.

No, you wicked, heartless bitches, they just see you for what you are.

dejour · 2014-08-30T16:55:51+00:00

Man or woman, I think it's human nature to want revenge when you are wronged. I think most people would feel that faking a marriage for a year wouldn't be worth it to cause your partner more pain. But it wouldn't be due to morality. It would be "What is best for me?", and most people would just want to get on with their life.

If alimony was an option for more men, then some men would behave the same way and try to get every cent they could from their cheating wife.

Reform the alimony system, but I wouldn't say that women are any more morally flawed than men.

Relictorum · 2014-08-30T17:54:08+00:00

"don't consider him a human being"

... what. the. hell.

yendorion · 2014-08-30T14:33:53+00:00

In fairness he started by cheating on her, ironically she let on the reasons why he could have done that seeing how she is on Reddit, yet wrong doesn't fix wrong.

2014-08-30T16:08:03+00:00

As much as this sort of thing does actually take place, in this instance I would be very surprised if it is not a troll post.

chavelah · 2014-08-30T16:48:00+00:00

If the affair had come out a year ago, and she had agreed to try to work through it while just holding out for more alimony, that would be wrong.

But when one person brings lies and betrayal into a relationship, and the wronged party reacts by trying to WIN at the nasty game they didn't start - I can at least understand that. He doesn't deserve better treatment than he's handing out. Nobody deserves that.

2014-08-30T16:58:56+00:00

Uh, this sounds like she will escalate hardcore with the allegations if the judge doesn't give her much/any.

CRFlixxx · 2014-08-30T17:41:02+00:00

And timing divorce defenitely happens way more that's it's talked about. Anthony Cumia, formerly of the Opie and Anthony show, got divorced 7-8 years ago and his wife dragged out the divorce, in part because: A. He was paying for both sides and B. He was moving to a new station with a big raise. So if he'd gotten divorced when she originally filed, he'd of paid a fraction of the alimony he wound of paying.

Said after that, he's never getting married again, and deliberately only dates 17-19 year olds (17 is legal in NY state). Even joked how a girl he was with got sick and had to take her to the hospital...she was admitted to the pediatric wing. LOL.

whiteguycash · 2014-08-30T17:50:40+00:00

Jokes on her, shes the one who is going to harbor bitterness and hatred for her entire life, while he gets over it and moves on after a couple years.

apullin · 2014-08-30T22:46:32+00:00

It's the use of "subhuman" there that is the real problem, and it demonstrates what the poster's real problem is. That approach, that someone can be removed from the humanity pool, is a central feature of oppressive and discriminatory constructions the world over. It seems inexorably tied to a narcissists complex, too.

EvrythingISayIsRight · 2014-08-31T04:20:45+00:00

Man cheats -> Woman files for divorce and man has to pay alimony

Woman cheats -> Man & woman file for divorce and man has to pay alimony.

Justice!

alternativejohn · 2014-08-30T21:05:44+00:00

I'm going to get downvoted for this but, he cheated so I don't give a shit what happens to him she could literally take all his money for all I care. I'm on her side with this.

herzundseele · 2014-08-30T16:17:43+00:00

You know what? He was cheating on her. For over a year. Lying to her face, acting like everything was fine, while he slept with another woman (and thereby put his wife's health at risk from STD infection...). The man was an asshole. I have a hard time judging this woman for wanting to screw him over...it's understandable to be angry and to want revenge. Would it have been better for her to take the high road? Of course. It always is. But I don't have a lot of sympathy for her husband. If the roles were reversed I still wouldn't. Cheaters are selfish assholes.

TheRealMouseRat · 2014-08-30T16:09:51+00:00

Well, he did cheat on her for some time. Is the alimony system screwed up? yes it is. But he is the one who is mainly to blame for their divorce.

questionnmark · 2014-08-30T20:45:27+00:00

She has all the smugness of someone that knows they have the majority of the power. Honestly it makes me wonder if shes a total bitch IRL too, and that if she really is the reason why he had an affair.

2014-08-30T15:06:45+00:00

I don't understand why wealthy people get married anyway...

MuseofRose · 2014-08-30T16:28:48+00:00

My mom actually tried some shit like this too. It didnt workout for her though because my dad's a true deadbeat, has a cash-based job, and liquid addresses

Baalzabub · 2014-08-31T02:18:13+00:00

I like how at the end she says "Don't pity the subhuman cheaters and cowards."

Not confronting him as soon as you found out and basically condoning his actions is pretty darn cowardly if you ask me. yes i know nobody asked me, but still.

2014-08-30T23:31:49+00:00

don't think of them as human beings

Sure, if he cheats, get rid of him and move on. he owes this both nothing. Alimony is supposed to be for supporting one partner who cannot support themselves. Usually because of children in the home. This woman admits to earning 60k p/y She does not need more money and she wants the house as well.

CRFlixxx · 2014-08-30T17:36:41+00:00

Hate to say it, but IF he did cheat, then it's his fault. Granted there was probably a reason he cheated and the cold and calculating way she was able to stay with him, knowing he was cheating, backs that up, however....try explaining that to a divorce court.

So he screwed up twice, he cheated and he chose HER to get married to in the first place.

Unenjoyed · 2014-08-30T17:37:00+00:00

If marriage is a contract at some level, then that's just good business right there.

2014-08-30T22:15:51+00:00

Reddit is full of cowardly males, but the truth is that there are good men in this world. Don't pity the subhuman cheaters and cowards.

Spiteful divorced female, I'm sure she will be a big hit with the lads.

I am constantly amazed at the number of average looking women in their late 30's or older who are totally deluded in the belief that they will be able to snap their fingers and magically make some "good guy" appear out of nowhere, when they are ready to settle down and have children. In reality, they are almost certainly going to end up bitter, hateful spinsters.

Velenco · 2014-08-30T13:04:51+00:00

Lets ofcourse all ignore that the guy was the one who cheated.

If it wasn't for that I'd say she was a bitch as well but the guy deserved what he got.

Blemish · 2014-08-30T21:07:33+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Malishious · 2014-08-30T23:43:45+00:00

The afterlife will not be kind to you.

kjvlv · 2014-08-30T16:29:52+00:00

As men, we know that in order to cheat on our wives, there must be something pretty wrong going on. Feed us, fuck us, make us a sandwich occasionally and stop talking so damn much and we are pretty much trouble free. One of the four has a problem so he cheated. My guess is the second one.

PerniciousOne · 2014-08-31T14:46:12+00:00

We do not know the reasons why he is cheating on his wife? He could be a member of deadbedrooms and his wife and him are not having any relations any longer. All we know is that he is going out with another woman and kissing.

I do not condone the cheating but this story sounds inciteful

Title	Wife confesses to timing her divorce, in order to use alimony as a tool of revenge
Author	Blemish
Upvotes	216
Comments	182
Date	August 30, 2014 11:49 AM UTC (11 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/2ezzdv/wife_confesses_to_timing_her_divorce_in_order_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/wife-confesses-to-timing-her-divorce-in-order-to.996330 https://theredarchive.com/post/996330

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