I'm not strong enough for this

JeeboMOB93 · 2023-12-05T05:56:57+00:00

Why do us guys that love so much end up losing?

Signal-Dot2326 · 2023-12-05T12:18:59+00:00

I would get a paternity test as soon as the child is born.

chicken_po_boy · 2023-12-05T05:50:02+00:00

Things seem bad now but they WILL get better. In time you will see things more clearly. If she's not in love with you, then she's not the one for you. It's hard to see that now, I know. Be strong for yourself. For your kid. He or she needs you. Never stop telling that to yourself.

Do you have friends or family you can talk to? Divorce is hard, but having someone (in real life) that you can talk to can really help a lot. Maybe look for a men's divorce support group in your area?

You will find a lot of guys on this sub who have also been through some really tough times. Lots of guys in your shoes. We made it. You can too.

whereami113 · 2023-12-05T07:05:11+00:00

The pain will subside and eventually be gone. I been where you are.

Pills and vodka...landed me in the hospital and the psych ward for a spell. Its no fun waking up in hospital being handcuffed to the bed and your family there to watch u wake up.

Gym, walk, run, exercise, get your dopamine levels up , turn the pain and anger and frustration into a positive energy!!

Keep moving forward, you got this!!

Ok-Suit1420 · 2023-12-05T05:51:49+00:00

YouTube Rachael Sloan

She works with divorced men and has some great content that really helped me out of a similar dark spot.

Revolutionary_Law793 · 2023-12-05T11:26:36+00:00

was there any accusation of DV?

314FinitePi · 2023-12-05T16:53:18+00:00

Brother, I have been, and in many ways, am still there. I have to go to court again tomorrow and I am more than two years into this divorce. I missed the last two years of my children living at home and miss them terribly every waking moment. That said, I am here and I go on, as you will go on. I have rebuilt a life, as you will rebuild a life. I smile again, I laugh again and I am happy again. I was married for 25 years. In the divorce she listed her two reasons for wanting out as: 1. I am just not happy 2. He is too committed to monogamy.

Do what I do... Miss the girl you married and not the woman you divorced... and... do not turn too permanent solutions for temporary problems.

I promise. Life goes on and it gets better every day. We are men. We are strong. We adapt, prevail and thrive.

I am sorry you are going through this. Be a man, be a father, be an example.

You will get what you deserve in the end, and you deserve all the best in love, life and happiness.

Godspeed brother. It will get better. I swear this with all that I am.

Nervous_Doughnut8703 · 2023-12-05T05:49:14+00:00

What happened that led to separation

South_Masterpiece543 · 2023-12-05T18:40:42+00:00

Perhaps that is why this is happening to you.

RedWineStrat · 2023-12-06T04:22:18+00:00

Don't do anything dumb. Message me if you want. You have some things to be happy for that not everyone has:

You are not shooting blanks and are about to become a father.
You know someone doesn't love you "that way" anymore. You don't have to worry about making that decision, they did it for you. There are plenty of beautiful & interesting women to love on in the sea.
Sounds like you're a relatively healthy dude other than your mental state currently. This will pass.

Stop drinking. Eat healthy. Run. And then run some more. Read a book. Get your 8 hours of sleep.

upvotersfortruth · 2023-12-05T06:08:50+00:00

Could be hormones bro, let it ride for a bit.

mubelsjedenn · 2023-12-05T06:58:04+00:00

Are you sure the child is yours to start with?

JeeboMOB93 · 2023-12-05T05:53:42+00:00

I ask myself that every day. Pride and ego mainly on both parts. We woke up one day she was in a bad mood I took it wrong we exchanged words and she left. Been since Halloween to fix it.

TerribleAmbassador69 · 2023-12-05T15:14:39+00:00

How far along is she? My stbx had what I called “I hate everyone especially my husband” first trimesters. 2nd was her best self. 3rd was standard difficulty for a woman ready to drop a baby.

thebosstycoon · 2023-12-05T15:38:48+00:00

While it’s easier said than done going to gym, exercise, etc., make sure you have background noise at all times when alone. Talk radio (sports radio) or tv in the background even if you’re not watching. The whole cliche “time heal all wounds” is true. It’s time to move on, she already had months ago. Sorry to come off hard but it’s the truth.

DivorceRecoveryMen · 2023-12-05T15:46:48+00:00

Be there for yourself and for you future child. It will take time for you to get over her. But it does happen. Every ending has a new beginning. Your heart will repair itself and heal. Lean into the pain, experience all the negative emotions while eventually turning them into positive experiences. Learn from this devastating storm. Every time the eye passes over, regroup and appreciate what you have and not dwell on what you don't. There is a positive lining, even you don't see it yet, someone that doesn't want you and want to move on - soon you will too.

Rower375 · 2023-12-05T15:49:19+00:00

You are probably not yet ready to hear this but time does heal. I have been there and looking like I might be there again. You are only 30. You have so much in front of you. Dig into your career, your coming child, and enjoyable hobbies. Don’t date yet. Trust me. 6 months from now you will realize you feel a lot better.

-sweetchuck · 2023-12-05T19:22:37+00:00

March forward. Leave her alone. Cover your ass. Jts hard to see the future at this point but trust us, there is better things on the horizon. For the time being take one day at a time. Healthy habits. Get rid of the anxiety with exercise.

It could be pregnancy hormones. It could be that she knows the child isn't yours. Either way, begging her isn't going to help. Don't contact her. Let her contact you.

organicwilly · 2023-12-05T20:32:48+00:00

I haven't read any of the other comments before responding.

I'm so surprised that you guys are so emotionally attached to these women.

I have 5 kids with my stbxw, and I have 0 desire to get back with her. I have 0 regrets filing for divorce.

I love my kids and it's the only reason I'm fighting.

How do you let a woman control your emotions and heart like that? I'm genuinely wondering.. I never had a real connection with my wife so that may be the reason.

How do you let a woman control you to the point you want to end it all? There is plenty of opportunity fellas. Don't get to that point!

FlyingSaucer51 · 2023-12-05T23:27:51+00:00

Please…DO NOT START DRINKING…again!!!

It will amplify your misery.

It will put you in a dangerous place.

Imagine what your feeling now needing temporarily numbed, however, coming back to hit you twice as strong later!!!

Don’t feed the enemy!!!

Don’t give your ex an excuse for her to say…”See! See! He’s nothing but a drunk!”

I know what your going through and I felt the same way. I’m in CA where marijuana is totally legal. After my ex destroyed me in much the same ways yours did, I never took another puff to be safe. It’s too much of a slippery slope!

If you feel weak, send me a private message. We can chat. Take care.

Dirtyninjaz · 2023-12-06T00:39:21+00:00

it will be alright, Give it time, time heals anything

IcyEntertainment8673 · 2023-12-06T03:02:09+00:00

It gets better, I promise.

ILikeMortgages · 2023-12-06T05:20:35+00:00

Bro it’s just pregnancy hormones. Be a great dad and she’ll be back lol

chaotik_goth_gf · 2023-12-06T16:23:28+00:00

If you wern't spending so much time trying to cheat on your wife or sexting on Reddit, Well idk maybe she would still be there

lebonroidagobert · 2023-12-06T17:03:15+00:00

Hang in there. You are strong enough. And it gets better.

Title	I'm not strong enough for this
Author	JeeboMOB93
Upvotes	24
Comments	48
Date	December 5, 2023 5:15 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/18b4kqz/im_not_strong_enough_for_this/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/im-not-strong-enough-for-this.1240069 https://theredarchive.com/post/1240069

Comments