Should I ask for alimony

notconvinced780 · 2025-05-01T19:45:15+00:00

How much equity is in the home? What percent of the equity is 52K? What is the interest rate on the loan? What are the rest of all the marital assets (retirement plans, pensions, investments, savings)worth? How much of that are you keeping? What about debt (educational, credit card, auto, etc.)? That is likely all marital regardless of who took it on. Will you come off the mortgage immediately or stay on it? (This will have a massive impact on your ability to borrow for a new home.) Maybe she should abandon all equity in the home and move out and you should stay and retain all equity, 50/50 split on all other marital assets, in exchange for no alimony? Lots of ways to look at skinning the cat. It’ll be much easier to answer these questions when looked at in its totality.

No-Walk-1633 · 2025-05-01T19:20:26+00:00

No, you shouldn't. Same thing I'd say to a woman in this position. Plus, you probably won't get it since it's a short marriage. Be a man and make your own future.

Curious_Helicopter29 · 2025-05-01T18:52:55+00:00

You are justified to ask for some support for a short transition period.

Reflog1791 · 2025-05-01T18:30:24+00:00

In lieu of alimony get a bigger equity check is my 2c. You may or may not get that alimony in court and if so it would be only for a year or so. If she loses her job you won’t get paid.

Cleanest option is get more money upfront. Good luck.

dharma_van · 2025-05-01T16:57:27+00:00

Three years the courts probably wouldn’t grant anything, and you’d be looking at paying a lawyer to fight for it as well as it would most likely put an end to the amicableness of the divorce. If you did get it you would get roughly $1,500 a month for half the length of the marriage…1.5 years. After lawyer fees you’d probably break even or come out a little ahead.

OctinoxateAndZinc · 2025-05-01T16:39:08+00:00

Future you will be glad you asked. Don't let ANYONE get in your head about gender norms and you receiving it because you're a guy. IF someone gives you a hard time about that they don't need to be in your life. They aren't the ones trying to pay your bills. I would say the same thing to a woman.

Doubledolla · 2025-05-01T15:59:24+00:00

Look up what rules are in Maryland. Just go by the calculator. Once you get a number just offer her to buy that portion out for a small discount so you don't have to keep contact with her. That's the only reason not to really is that you'd have to have ties to her over a period of time regardless of how small. No kids, no reason to keep her tied to your life after the paperwork and final decree. May your future be bright.

urbanpandanyc · 2025-05-01T13:35:22+00:00

Imo: Women want equal rights. So a man asking for alimony if she is the more monied spouse… would be fair. If it was vice versa she would def go for alimony.

😬 & Im a female saying this. Its only fair…

DeepAnt8165 · 2025-05-01T13:24:05+00:00

I think so, yes do it. She makes enough for it.

robertstone123456 · 2025-05-01T12:54:53+00:00

It differs by state, here in Texas they frown heavily on alimony/spousal support.

My ex wife tried and her and the attorney were basically laughed out of the court room.

LMDINC · 2025-05-01T12:45:49+00:00

Love it , you can tell in comments who has been divorced before and who hasn’t been lol.

But 3years. I won’t get jack. 5-10 years. Maybe. You would have grounds.

EltiiVader · 2025-05-01T12:37:29+00:00

Fuck no. Do the right thing. Be your own man, don't depend on forced handouts from your ex-wife. Sounds like you're getting a fair deal in cash to start over. My parasitic estranged wife is taking $2,400 / month + benefits from me and drawing out the divorce to maximize her robbery.

If the shoe were on the other foot, how would you feel if the government decided to steal $XXXX / month of the money you work hard to earn every day?

There are special cases where it's warranted, but for the most part, Alimony is complete fucking theft.

leaving4me · 2025-05-01T11:58:10+00:00

I don't know how they do things in your jursidiction, but they likely will consider duration of marriage in the calculation. 3 years is relatively short. You may be better served to cook the fair amount into the division of assets and not present it as alimony in hopes of avoiding an espensive fight.

regertsrus · 2025-05-01T11:58:06+00:00

If you do, she will tell everyone youre a loefer. She would not be wrong. Having a pinis makes you different in every way. Personally i would be embarassed. I do understand that many men would not be. The fact that your thinking about asking her for alimony, already tells me that your personality is different than my own and youre not someone i would respect. Dont get me wrong. I want nothing more than to cut my pathological liar of an X off. I have had an opportunity to do just that many times. I have not for the kids because she is a miserable liar and failure. If i take any more time from her, she not only loses child support but she would have to pay me child support. She knows i can take more time now. So she asked her lawyer to ask me to sign a waiver of child support. I agreed with glee because she knows i can and i am not trying and not she is mortified. The sad truth is i wouldnt ask her for a slice of bread. And if you try to hit your X for alimony, it is an absolute admission of who she left and all the validation for it. Additionally here is my message for any so called able boddied man who seeks alimony: return your balls and pride to your wife upon divorce please. Absent any actual reason (disabled kid, extenuating circumstanc that warrants the need) go an find some pride, go grow a set of kneecaps and move the hell on. Consideration of child support for a man is pathetic

Pleasant-Mechanic-49 · 2025-05-01T07:01:58+00:00

Be prepared once u ask for alimoney depend on the amount she would stwitch to a conflicted divorce.
Her attorney will try to use any "abuse" you mentionn to requets a fault-based divorce & cut the alimony as a result either directly or indirectly by requesting $$$ for abuse
I really hope you dont send her mesage about this "abuse" & hide any paper that proof it.
. From this point forward, assume that anything you say or write to her may be presented to the judge agaist you by her attorney, so be very caution in your cmmunication

I also hope she dont KNOW you Redit account as she could use his quote "There was some emotional abuse from my end towards her," against u as well.

upvotersfortruth · 2025-05-01T06:20:16+00:00

Yes, either alimony or a disproportionate divison of the houses equity in lieu of alimony. That's usually a more palatable option than her writing you a check every month for a few years. Just understand that this might blow up the deal - if alimony is a deal breaker for either of you, expect to lawyer up - meaning, whatever gains either of you may get will go to the lawyers. So calculate your numbers carefully. You'd each spend about 10-20k on lawyers if you're fighting over alimony. As others have said, not touching retirements is good but what's the disparity on the marital portion?

onthisthing_ · 2025-05-01T03:38:15+00:00

Fuck yes get that money. Tables turned she’d want the last hair on ya balls. Be petty.

Dry_FishMan · 2025-05-01T03:31:20+00:00

Hell yeah go for it. I’m waiting on a judge to rule on alimony I’m after in my divorce. Even more lopsided income disparity than u. Hope it goes thru!

whoisgodiam · 2025-05-01T03:22:03+00:00

Get the money lol

streetsmartwallaby · 2025-05-01T02:32:50+00:00

Yes.

You don't mention how long you've been married but in general you get alimony for half the time you've been married. Hopefully that will get you through the program you are in.

Commercial_Music_931 · 2025-05-01T02:15:36+00:00

Funny how its always amicable when the man has the cards in a divorce. If it was reversed she'd crush your soul and laugh about it with her friends as you squirmed in poverty.

Go get paid dude. Sure you've earned it by this point. Glad to hear your in the trades. They were good to me post usmc and has set my life up with the 2nd wife quite nice.

thatsmyquarterbackk · 2025-05-01T02:04:29+00:00

You could ask for 2k per month for 2-3 years to help you with finances. I was divorced and received alimony for three years. I quit my job to raise our disabled newborn in 2018. Was a stay at home dad for five years and lived off wife’s income. Divorced in 2023. We came to an agreement and were amicable. We are very good friends now. Since you didn’t have children, you guys can totally split from one another and move on. Ask for money if you need it. Don’t ask if you don’t

RespectInevitable479 · 2025-05-01T02:03:15+00:00

Title	Should I ask for alimony
Author	stayworkways
Upvotes	14
Comments	45
Date	May 1, 2025 1:49 AM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1kbxevm/should_i_ask_for_alimony/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/should-i-ask-for-alimony.1551089 https://theredarchive.com/post/1551089

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