Social media

vwklick · 2025-07-20T16:04:20+00:00

I'd be curious... Who owns the algorithm for TikTok? Maybe it's not on accident ...

p71interceptor · 2024-09-10T21:10:02+00:00

I'll second this sentiment. TikTok fed my ex ENM and Late Stage Lesbian content. She changed a few weeks after TikTok got installed on her phone.

probebeta · 2024-09-08T20:43:50+00:00

One guess is that algorithms were spoon-feeding her that content because she was searching for it. Not saying that it, by itself, does not contribute to it though. But people do have the choice to consume the content or not.

Classic_Dill · 2024-09-08T16:44:09+00:00

Yes, and no, the Internet is sort of like a gun, laying by itself. It’s really nothing to worry about, but when a particular person picks that gun up or gets on social media, it’s their perception of things that turn those things into danger. The problem nowadays, is most people just simply do not think for themselves, they have allowed the Internet, politicians, friends, and family, and everybody else to do all the thinking for them, we have to get back to critical thinking. I honestly wish they would cancel learning languages in high school and teach a two-year course on critical thinking.

DivorceTA1988 · 2024-09-07T10:47:12+00:00

They also convince her you are one of those worthless do nothing husbands when nothing could be further from the truth. She was convinced I didn’t know anything about the kids when I knew everything. She would have told you she did “all the emotional labor” when I did plenty of that stuff. Don’t get me started on that phrase but I thought about, planned, and executed plenty of that family stuff. Somehow decided I didn’t do enough housework when it always 50/50 AT WORST.

When she moved out she got a big dose of reality on that end. And she recently bought a house and know she can mow the damn lawn!

Independent_Owlz · 2024-09-07T02:53:01+00:00

Get off fuckbook. Instacrap, X (wives), tic tac….

It’s all crack in digital form.

Top-Pop-2624 · 2024-09-07T01:41:09+00:00

Facebook was no doubt a major contribution to my divorce. We had difficulty last few years dealing with aging parents, chronic pain with her. She reached out to a old high school boyfriend 4 state s away. No doubt he said all the right things. They hook up. Commit infidelity on their marriage s. Divorced her. At least they have adultery in common.

disgustinbrother · 2024-09-06T17:42:58+00:00

My wife was defintly coached. The words and phrsases she used while kicking me out were not what she normaly used. She mentioned not changing the locks several times. which I assume she thinks will keep her from not being seen as kicking me out. she also was recording it or steaming it the whole time. she really seemed to be playing it up for the camera and not scared of me as she claims My dad called these friends and family sht house lawers. Willing to give advice as they see it, not reality. They wont be sitting next to her in court though.

jaceq777 · 2024-09-06T17:10:18+00:00

I think it played a role in my wife's decision too. She gradually became radicalized into this radical feminist man-hating philosophy that views all men as inherent threats to women and even advocates for a total separation of men and women. I'm not sure what was first though, whether those views preceded her decision and influenced it and she was hiding them from me for some time, or maybe she started espousing them after leaving me to try and confirm her bias and seek confirmation that what she's done was correct and morally justified. Probably a mix of both.

mjake15 · 2024-09-06T13:55:36+00:00

In my situation, my spouse had friends and family feeding her the encouragement to abandon our marriage. I suspect there was some social media influence but nothing greater then the know it all friends who have “gone through it” before.
On my end. My friends and family encouraged me to seek individual AND couples counseling. Couples counseling lasted 2 sessions at which time spouse “decided” it wasn’t for her. I on the other hand continue my individual therapy and have chosen to learn to cope with the stresses, sadness, anger and guilt as well as find the best version of myself. Hopefully I will one day find someone I can give that too.

2024-09-06T11:32:20+00:00

You are not necessarily wrong, women are very succeptible to the advertisement in all forms; and instagram syndrome has been a plague (when woman compares her life with you to someone else's perfect image of their lives).

But algorithms are not evil, they follow person's interest. I am interested in physics, half of my youtube home page is popular science. My wife is interested in marriage disappointment, her youtube is full of psychologists explaining the many problems between men and women.

Long-Review-1861 · 2024-09-06T08:46:37+00:00

The planned destruction of the nuclear family is definitely a thing. People are blind to what is happening right in front of their eyes

Beamformer · 2024-09-06T06:27:22+00:00

And almost everything is social media or at minimum a down low communication channel.. pintrest, flicker, strava, wow, etc etc.

King_Flavko · 2024-09-06T05:30:35+00:00

Same.. I told my wife that she was being convinced through socials cause I see the same damn things. Only my end is filled with the pain having to let go of her, and hers is filled with the "you're a strong independent woman who dont need a man to raise kid's"... Social media has fucked everything up... it truly is doing the devils work and making it easy, cause divorce rates are through the roof, dating apps are filled with single moms, and 80% of divorces are initiated by women today...

So as we can see...thebpattern is very fucking clear... Only they dint believe us...

Remind me....who was it that was convinced biting the apple would be a good idea? Nd then proceeded to bite the fucking apple....

Society is fucked... and the devil is having the decade of his career...

PacoPecoPena · 2024-09-06T05:04:24+00:00

I also think this had an influence on the end of my marriage as well as some of the subreddits like breakingmom (they use the phrase "married single mom" there)etc. We obviously were not in a good place already but her use of tiktok coincided with her accusing me of gaslighting, emotional abuse, and attempting to diagnose me with all sorts of mental and mood disorders. Overall I felt like I was no longer arguing with the person I married but some militant feminist from twitter. When we had any difference in recollection of events (usually a past argument that she would bring up to re-litigate) I would be accused of gaslighting and told not to "deny her lived experience" just typical pop psychology meme bs.

People are more impressionable than they think they are (myself included). If someone was already in a marriage that was struggling and then they are constantly consuming content about divorce glow ups, pro-single mom content, pop psych relationship mumbo jumbo, and extreme feminism, it certainly adds fuel to the fire. Even worse I think is whole myth of co-parenting being sold as an acceptable solution to blowing up their family (as if they still didn't set their kids up for a less than ideal life).

I think this kind of content encourages people to give up sooner, that it's worth it to blow up your family to "find yourself" or to find a better partner and also convinces some people that their relationship is actually much worse than it is really is by comparing it to some unrealistic ideal that is misrepresented on social media.

Imagine if the algorithm was heavily pushing the negative aspects of divorce: the negative impact on the kids (numerous studies show that children from divorced households are worse off than children from intact families in many ways), the financial impact on everyone, the stress and anguish of a long drawn out divorce, I think some people would think twice.

Chris_Chilled · 2024-09-06T04:45:39+00:00

That’s not wacko… social media presents I realistic standards of life, relationships and families. It’s toxic my nature and is a huge issue in modern relationships.

Too_old_3456 · 2024-09-06T04:27:18+00:00

You are not crazy at all. I noticed the same thing. She had that kind of stuff targeted towards her and I had the same towards myself. Sure algorithms. Only difference is she’s addicted to Tik Tok and I’m addicted to Reddit. But what do they both have in common? That’s right, owned by the Chinese. Of course a country hostile to our own would want to sow discord if they could. Not only to encourage internal strife with other Americans, they want families breaking up. It’s expensive for us. It drains us. Puts us into debt. Children suffer from broken homes, some go on to think they are broken people. Sounds crazy but these are crazy times we live in. Well it worked China. My wife and I split up and I barely see my son. Good job.

Reflog1791 · 2024-09-06T03:13:36+00:00

Hmm I am a wacko nut job conspiracy theorist.

And I dont give a fuck about social media.

They left because they wanted to. You’re better off without somebody who doesn’t want to be married to you.

The big conspiracy is ‘no fault divorce’ and the alimony and child support laws. Poke around on Reddit and you’ll realize everyone wants you broke and miserable for being a man whose wife left.

abort_retry_flail · 2024-09-06T03:05:25+00:00

100% it had an impact. I know my ex was an absolute slave to social media, tik toks, and online validation.

She swallowed the whole 'girlboss, strong independent woman don't need to man, divorce him girlfriend you deserve that young, punch-drunk passion after 20 years of marriage' bullshit that social media drip-fed her.

She hit that perimenopausal mid-life crisis, and despite having degenerative MS and a dedicated, loving partner that was going to support and care for her to the bitter end she wanted to "feel like she's 16 again".

I hate to be spiteful, but I don't think being at the cusp of menopause, in her late 40s, overweight, and with a degenerative, crippling disease is going to be the exciting, passionate dating whirlwind that social media told her it would be.

abort_retry_flail · 2024-09-06T02:41:47+00:00

My wife has always been big into social media. But it wasn’t until she really got on TikTok and the weird sides of instagram that I started seeing her use phrases like gaslighting, emotional abuse, etc. when discussing anything with me. I’m not saying those were the causes, but they definitely helped shape the narrative she wanted to believe in.

familymanlikesfamily · 2024-09-06T02:33:19+00:00

Their line of thinking becomes warped and those algorithms continue to reinforce she's right.

At the end of the day, still her. But I do think it plays a part.

Title	Social media
Author	Sea_Broccoli6349
Upvotes	35
Comments	44
Date	September 5, 2024 11:55 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1fa1ckk/social_media/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/social-media.1529533 https://theredarchive.com/post/1529533

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