Anyone else completely okay with being single forever?

AbundantOverflow · 2020-10-01T02:38:57+00:00

Yep. My peace of mind and well-being is more important than being partnered.

I think the sweet spot is to be happy alone but open to someone wonderful. No waiting on your life to start or pining after a man or ignoring the joys of being single while wishing for a different life.

The grass is greenest where you water it.

purasangria · 2020-10-01T02:35:20+00:00

I couldn’t agree more. I look at what’s out there, and yes, I’m totally okay not having any of that ugly, hairy, overweight mess in my life.

GIfuckingJane · 2020-10-01T02:46:05+00:00

The wrong relationship will suck the life out of you. I don't know how people live like that. In my last relationship, there were points where I felt like the walls were closing in on me. I stupidly bought into the mantra that "relationships are work" and figured I felt bad a lot of the time because I'm just naturally inclined to be an unhappy person/insecure. I'm broken up now and even though I'm sad, I don't feel like I'm suffocating anymore.

riotous486saturn · 2020-10-01T03:12:21+00:00

Yup! I’m not getting in another relationship unless it benefits me and brings value to my life. I can afford to live on my own and I enjoy being single. Someone is gonna have to be amazing to sway me and you’re right, 95% of men don’t even hit the basic, bare minimum standards. Living for a man sounds like a trap, I need a partner not a dependent.

Skittleschild02 · 2020-10-01T03:08:00+00:00

I’m accepting the fact. My standards aren’t high. Just be a decent ass human being is all I ask for. But men in my area, lie or keep you in the back burner because afraid that they’re going to miss out.

My heart doesn’t want to play those games no more. It’s draining. If he appears, cool. If he doesn’t, cool. I’m just going to focus on loving myself and hanging out with people who care about me.

DadaExperiment · 2020-10-01T03:15:14+00:00

Yes, I have given up on men. They aren't worth the grief, energy, emotion and inevitable trauma.

Introambi1 · 2020-10-01T03:21:43+00:00

Yes very much. I’ve wasted so much of my time and energy on guys only to end up with temporary happiness, betrayal, other deceits, and emotional drainage.

I’m sure that some guys are better than others. However, even husbands do things without concern for their wives. They are selfish beyond belief. They’re also way too horny for my liking , it’s disgusting. I have been emotionally checked out of my ending relationship and usually I’d be distressed, but when I thought about what he contributed to my life, I am so ok with this. First time in my life I feel like I am happy without having a man around.

Pasdepromesses · 2020-10-01T05:17:30+00:00

Yes. I’ve been in long term relationships or in the process of getting into a relationship for 17 years (collectively). I was never really single for longer than 3 months since I was 15. I had standards, but not really about emotional maturity. Only one relationship (that lasted 5 years) was with a truly HVM who was a match with me.

I’ve been single now since February, not even on OLD or dating in real life and it feels amazing. This freedom, autonomy and amount of free time is really new to me and I won’t easily give it up.

My standards only got higher, because he has to be really awesome for me to give up my peace, quiet and ‘selfish’ ways.

I’m also childfree so I don’t have any incentive to settle. I can meet mr. Right next week at 33 or in 20 years at 53. It wouldn’t matter. And if I’m completely honest, I’d rather not next week because I feel like I’m not done yet with being single 🤣

ekkokekekko · 2020-10-01T03:39:53+00:00

I'm increasingly happy as a single person. I'm taking time to appreciate the joy of being the master of my own time, space, priorities, and activities. I'm enjoying dating myself and treating myself like a treasured friend, the way I should always have treated myself but never did. If a man should come along who elevates and improves what I already have going on, I might be interested.

Might.

Tbh right now I'm enjoying singledom so much I might never go back.

GIfuckingJane · 2020-10-01T06:32:10+00:00

Absolutely. I look at what my girlfriends are putting up with and I do not envy them. A simple, calm meaningful life is so much better then the drama of a horrible relationship. I've seen too many great people get dragged down and destroyed by LVM. That's not me and it's not any of you ladies either.

Anti_Drama · 2020-10-01T08:45:51+00:00

As much as I struggle finding ANY man attractive, and as much as I am open to having to stay single forever because of this, I still feel a sense of emptiness about staying single forever. Something about it really hurts. I don't know how to make peace with this. I am not sure I'll ever totally be OK with being single, but I see the struggles of people in relationships and I don't like the idea of taking that risk. I won't have any family to talk to once my parents are gone.

2020-10-01T04:23:14+00:00

Yes and looking forward to it. Men are not worth the stress and definitely not worth lowering your standards so you can be their bangmommy. Never again. I am so excited for my future.

Cosmictears83 · 2020-10-01T06:05:47+00:00

As long as I get (buy) my own house in a few years, survive covid, and don't develop any serious diseases, thats all I genuinely care about for my remaining (hopefully) decades.

Honestly the only thing a man could provide for me of use right now is basically guaranteed ride home from surgery if I needed it. Maybe pet sitter. Those are the only things that I really care about aging as a woman who otherwise has everything I need, thanks to myself.

Yes being in love is fun and extra, but I just have not had a genuine attraction to any men I've come across in years. I don't think he's magically joining online dating anytime soon.

janetheautomaton · 2020-10-01T05:04:22+00:00

Same. If I want to get laid, I can. For everything else, the cost/benefit just doesn't work out. The grief a man usually brings into my life isn't worth just having someone there.

hapahunnie · 2020-10-01T04:24:24+00:00

Yes because I have my sister and we’re pretty close and I enjoy supporting her hobbies and vice versa and I doubt any man could be a bigger cheerleader as a partner and we’re both okay with that!

ps9939 · 2020-10-01T05:48:29+00:00

Truthfully, I want a partner... the right partner of course. BUT I am definitely okay if that doesn't happen for me. I will never (have never) settled for less than a HVM in regards to an actual relationship. And no matter what, I will not lower my standards or compromise my values. My ultimate goal in life is happiness (and a man does not guarantee this happiness).

Rough-Tree · 2020-10-01T04:54:22+00:00

I miss the dopamine, serotonin and oxytocin so much.

2020-10-01T10:39:25+00:00

I don’t think most men meet my standards or come close. I model my standards after my dad, the only man I’ve ever known that I truly respect.

I agree with you that life is better as a pair, but that’s with the assumption the pair is good. I would love to meet my match in the future but I am also very aware most men will not meet my standards and I am very okay with that. Most men were never meant to meet my standards. It was designed that way by me.

I’m ok with being single forever as long as I’m still $$$ and have friends and family.

pinkfleurhappiness · 2020-10-01T04:20:02+00:00

Yep. Completely.

luvmyvulvaxoxo · 2020-10-01T13:57:15+00:00

That’s a big part of what the handbook teaches. Don’t settle and it’s better to be single than with a LVM.

I think most of this sub should be catered around teaching women how to be happy being alone and how to focus on themselves. Women are taught at such a young age that our lives revolve around men.

CassieGreen85 · 2020-10-01T07:46:42+00:00

Yep.

A HVM is a bonus in my life, not a necessity. My life will be amazing and fulfilled without the need of a man.

Would I like a HVM in my life that I love? Sure. Will I cry if I never have one? Absolutely not.

2020-10-01T11:27:47+00:00

Yes. Being alone is so therapeutic. There is no one you have to accomodate. Sure if I find a genuinely good person I'd like to get married but if I don't, I don't mind being on my own. I have friends with whom I've connected more than I've ever connected w a man I dated.

BasieSkanks · 2020-10-01T07:31:48+00:00

I’ve always been at my best when a dude is not in my life. That’s not to say that there aren’t men out there who would be a positive addition to my life. They absolutely exist. But I’m very content with not looking for anyone. I’m more focused on building my career, stacking my savings and levelling up.

randomgirlimok · 2020-10-01T12:29:57+00:00

I’d rather be single than have to take care of a man and work

daisy_0720 · 2020-10-01T20:22:31+00:00

"I have basic requirements surrounding human decency that seem to be astoundingly hard for men to meet."

It's truly staggering the vast number of men that can't even meet the bare minimum standard of actually being a decent boyfriend. Even the 'good guys' I've dated never made the overall experience of a relationship worth it. I've never been happier in a relationship than I have been single. It would literally take a HV Unicorn to drop out of the sky at this point to make me even consider being partnered up again.

ralviee · 2020-10-01T16:05:37+00:00

Been living single and happy for a long time. ✌️ No stress, heartache, or pain relating to it, just a sense of peace and freedom that’s hard to really describe.

feminologie_ · 2020-10-01T19:00:14+00:00

It took me a long time to get here, but yes. The reality for me is that I've never had a relationship with a man that didn't rob of my inner peace and utterly destroy me in the end. Relationships are NOT supposed to be like that. I am NOT supposed to accept such poor treatment. When I'm single, I feel at peace with myself just living life and doing my own thing. If a relationship cannot IMPROVE my life, then it's not worth it. Why would I give up my freedom for someone who makes me feel terrible and brings misery and pain into my life? I'm finally understanding that it is truly better to be single and at peace than to be with a man who literally drains your energy and ruins your entire life. I will only choose a man who can treat me as well as I treat myself. If not, he can leave me tf alone!

2020-10-01T10:00:18+00:00

Yes. Very content

FDSxMuffinVSrat · 2020-10-01T10:00:55+00:00

Yeah but Covid is hitting me hard.

I want dogs and then men can audition for time with me. If they don't want to I'll just pay more attention to my dog.

saymoneyhoney · 2020-10-01T11:37:40+00:00

Oh yes. I’ve had this exact same mindset for about 4 months now. I’m much happier with the decision to be single than I ever was with searching for a partner.

kmblue · 2020-10-01T13:31:10+00:00

I have no problems. I like my sanity.

Maude2010 · 2020-10-01T15:07:47+00:00

Yes. I’ll admit I’ve got some problems right now but having a man in my life most likely will only make things more difficult.

purasangria · 2020-10-01T20:10:30+00:00

Yup. If I have to do all the emotional labor, and look at his hairy, aging body? That's a no for me.

honeybeeroll · 2020-10-01T21:50:04+00:00

You said it 🙌. I reached this point a few months ago, after years, and it's thanks in large part to this sub. I let a stupid desperation for a relationship ruin my life enough. I have been trying to treasure what's left and nobody - not myself, some stupid scrote - is going to set me back.

Merryprankstress · 2020-10-01T23:41:42+00:00

It would be nice if I met someone who I aligned with some day but I am so much happier alone. I'm definitely never actively pursuing something again. It's a waste of time I'd rather put into developing myself.

stateofhigihaga · 2020-10-02T01:02:46+00:00

Girl yes. Right now I’m working on my career and also towards being stable enough to get a dog to pour all my love into. Pets >>> scrotes

Anonsubordinate · 2020-10-04T14:25:14+00:00

Yep, right here.

Two years ago, I finally liberated myself from my last (and FINAL) relationship with a NVM (and some LV friends who turned out to be crabs in the bucket) and my self-esteem and feeling of inner peace have never been stronger.

I have zero intention of ever dating again. I remember when I was newly single, I downloaded a couple of dating apps just to see what's out there. I don't have to say how that turned out! I deleted the apps and not long after, found this sub.

I've learned to become the person who makes me happy and I'll never again waste my time, money, or energy on another man I don't need.

2020-10-01T09:50:06+00:00

That was never my main focus to settle with a man. If it wasn't for my current bf, I'd be perfectly fine being single.

SMAKI19 · 2020-10-01T20:55:41+00:00

I'm not ready to sacrifice my happiness or put myself aside again. I was in a 13 years relationship ( I do not want to get married ) he left when I was pregnant with our second child. I have healed from the trauma of that breakup, we coparent really well. My children are happy I'm happy and most importantly at peace so I don't see myself risking it all for someone. Of course I would love to be with someone, I got plenty of love to give and I would love to have a third child, but I've came to terms with the fact that I might stay single for the rest of my life. So I'm thinking of adopting or artificial insemination or maybe both.

2020-10-04T18:33:36+00:00

I do not think that I’ll ever get married again. I’ve been toying with serial monogamy but the bar only gets higher and I take no shit from men.

shes_got_coffee · 2020-10-06T04:53:20+00:00

Me! I'm excited about my future and actively planning to be single forever. Dating is for fun, getting out, and trying new things. Maybe a serious boyfriends eventually if I find some I like, but I don't think I'd want to keep one long-term. It would take an incredible man and some seriously perfect circumstances for me to marry though. Otherwise, I'm currently planning on staying solo and preparing for it.

Title	Anyone else completely okay with being single forever?
Author	AromaticCombination8
Upvotes	297
Comments	54
Date	September 30, 2020 8:12 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/j2tqfc/anyone_else_completely_okay_with_being_single/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/anyone-else-completely-okay-with-being-single.317135 https://theredarchive.com/post/317135

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