Do you want children? Poll.

Mysterious_Midnight7 · 2021-03-08T01:10:12+00:00

For clarification purposes (I voted pets are more than enough), I used to want children when I was younger, but only under very specific, very financially comfortable circumstances. That didn't happen and I'm at peace with it. Plus I found that as I got past reproductive prime age, my urge for kids just dissipated.

Mella_20 · 2021-03-08T08:34:50+00:00

I will never have a child, not even with a HVM.

Its just me, but I dont want to share a child with a man, and I dont want to take care of a child in general. I wanna be free to take care of my needs and my needs alone. If I wanna leave him, there is no child holding me back. I just don't want to be tied to a man like that, even if he's amazing. Its too much risk, and too much burden.

I've always wanted a cat or a dog though. But later in the future. I'm content being alone. I love it so much. Looking forward to getting my tubes tied and living my best life, preferably without a man too. Nobody is good enough for me to give up my solitude 🤟

It is what it is 🤷🏽‍♀️

Davina33 · 2021-03-08T08:43:22+00:00

I'm a cat mum. I knew from an early age that I didn't want children. I'm going to say why and I'm going to cover it as it could be very triggering. TW childhood sexual abuse.

I was raped when I was ten. I had not even started my period yet but I still thought I could get pregnant. I prayed every night for almost a year to God to not let me get pregnant.

I have never strayed from this line of thinking and I much prefer cats. I like children but in very small doses. I've been living in a refuge for 13 weeks with very badly behaved children and I've never been more secure in my choice to be child free.

Lavender_flow · 2021-03-08T10:54:08+00:00

Men being like "WoMeN WaNt To BaBy TrAp Us"- yeah no.

7Cuervos · 2021-03-08T03:55:30+00:00

I want to adopt!

BlazingHazard · 2021-03-08T10:00:36+00:00

I don't want kids and I'm glad for that. I don't believe there are 'right men' to have kids with, and I don't want to raise a boy and see him grow up toxic in spite of my efforts because of external influences, or have a girl and have to give her The Talk about the hardships she will face (and how to protect herself from dangers) early on to protect her.

No_Energy7768 · 2021-03-08T11:33:10+00:00

I know that people might say I am too young to decide but I dont have any urge for motherhood. It never seems part of my plan.

Sage_Planter · 2021-03-08T02:57:33+00:00

Voted "Do want children with the right HVM," but I'm also very interested in having kids on my own in 4-6 years. I don't need a man to make me a mother (except maybe a sperm donor).

wrice05 · 2021-03-08T13:42:38+00:00

Fully respecting and supporting all women's reproductive choices, but for me, I'm telling you, Auntie Life is the best racket in town. My sisters provided my parents with all the grandparenting they wanted and I got off scot free. I get to snuggle and love and take my nieces and nephews to the playground and be the fun aunt, and then hand them off at the end of the day. It's brilliant.

karaokekiller · 2021-03-08T01:53:52+00:00

I have kids. I love them but it is hard.

Anyone who is on the fence- all I can say is make sure you have a good support system. Choose the father well but have a support system outside of him because even the 'good' ones often fail at parenting.

iamenoughsoareyou · 2021-03-08T01:49:20+00:00

Not sure if I want children in the future or not, I'm in my late 20s right now and I honestly feel "sick" (like disgusted) most of the times around little kids or newborns.

I don't understand why honestly even though I've never been THAT into children or having them, lately at least since last year, I've just been plain disgusted and it's actually bothering me a bit. I don't understand why I feel like this at all and I don't think it's "normal".

My bf's sister had a baby almost a year ago and just being around it and her makes me feel highly uncomfortable almost at a physical level (I really like her as a person! it's not "her" the problem). His family even tried so long to make me hold him, kept asking me if I want kids too, in the end they literally shoved him in my arms and they were all "aww so cute" and I was literally struggling not to make a disgusted face not to offend them.
And I'm telling you the baby is objectively CUTE, it's an angel really, barely cries, legit cutest baby I've seen ever...just...I don't know why I am so against it?
I struggle to see women breastfeed even around me because it's one of my nightmares ... If I ever will have a baby I will NEVER breastfeed.

I guess I will see with time, currently I'm not in any condition to actually afford them (both unemployed) but in any case even just the idea of going through pregnancy -giving birth, natural or c section, getting fatter, my body changing, scars, stitches, stretch marks- just isn't for me.

Wish I could just shoot out a baby without having consequences for myself or even risking my life for it.

At the same time, I am of the idea that this porn sick world full of misogyny and with a disgusting society is just not the right place for a new human.
Not even if you teach them well (depending if male or female) to respect and not be LVM or NVM and sex worker pickmes, whatever it would be...just staying away from all of this for them would be impossible even at a young age, they will always find the "wrong man" or "the wrong company" and it's gonna fuck up years and years of teachings and trying to protect them and giving them a better world because of this sick society.

Really disappointing and discouraging imo.

Even if I would want to actually bother to have kids, maybe it's not even worth it... though in a way, I still would like to have a child and a family with the right man, at the right moment and so on "deep down", maybe those feelings will sort out in the future when I'm older...though I feel like the clock is ticking and I need to make a decision "fast".

If only things were different in the world.

Coffeecatssunnydays · 2021-03-08T01:19:04+00:00

Don’t blame or judge or anything when it comes to a woman not wanting children. I voted that I had children and didn’t want more. When I was younger, I wanted five children and thought I could have an amazing life raising independent, intellectual, creative, conscious kids. I have one daughter. I have one career. I had one lazy husband. None of it has been easy. It’s way easier now that Ive dropped the husband.

skyerippa · 2021-03-08T05:29:28+00:00

I got my tubes removed at 26 and plan to spend my days with lots of pets

jackrusselterror1 · 2021-03-08T03:00:56+00:00

I exclusively date women so I’m planning on having children with a woman, either through adoption or a sperm donor (or both). I’m bisexual but I hate the dynamic I get forced into when I date men, I don’t like doing all the work and getting no credit or respect, so I’ve opted out. I would never parent with a man even if I decided to date men again, which is incredibly unlikely tbh

2021-03-08T09:57:47+00:00

I'm torn because there's climate change, there's the rise of fascism, there's the next great depression looming, there's a worldwide worsening of misogyny, my career would suffer and I am already at my limit with everything.

But then, my partner is great, and our relationship is getting better by the month, and any time his mum, who works as a paediatric nurse brings up babies, my heart goes all mushy and I just want one. If only I didn't have that hormonal urge, I would never consider it.

Equipoisonous · 2021-03-08T15:55:33+00:00

I’m still somewhere between not sure yet and don’t want children, but leaning more towards not wanting them so I went with that. I struggle with it a lot because I was never in the camp of never wanting children, I used to really want them but have wanted them less as I grew older. I am trying to remain open minded about it but I just can’t see it for myself and I don’t enjoy being around babies/children like I used to. I feel like with getting older I can’t relate to them any more. And of course all the other reasons of pregnancy/childbirth and disproportionate care/work.

real90slike · 2021-03-08T11:49:56+00:00

I do want children, but I dont want to give birth to anyone. Perhaps adoption, or surrogacy

dkwantsdk · 2021-03-08T08:34:23+00:00

I have two gorgeous children. And I'm done ✌️ Ready to have my body belong to me again and start working on some ambitious physical goals - marathons, triathlons, swimming. I've also had my career on cruise control and am ready to pedal to the metal! Let's do this!

snootdidanoot · 2021-03-08T13:13:23+00:00

I've wanted kids for as long as I can remember. I've had opportunities to have them along the way but only with LVM so fuck that. I'm with a HVM now and we are both waiting until we can financially raise them comfortably.

MrsJohnMarston__ · 2021-03-08T07:33:56+00:00

I have a gorgeous daughter. Would be happy to have more. Either our own or through adoption.

jayda92 · 2021-03-08T19:54:30+00:00

Planning a wedding, can't wait to have a kid. I'm gonna make sure that me and my future kids are protected and always taken care of!

My fiance is awesome. If we were to break up, I would go to a sperm bank. Most men are disgusting trash I wouldn't ever want to coparent with...

We'd like to be foster carers as well.

casslomb · 2021-03-09T06:01:16+00:00

Yes, I like children and if all goes well I'd like to adopt a pair of sisters before I'm 40. But if I'm being honest the thought of having a man -knowing how most men think- around my hypothetical kids makes me scared, so if I do end up adopting I'm going to do it either with a wife by my side or on my own.

Softrito · 2021-03-10T05:32:25+00:00

I can't pick any because I want children, but only via ivf.

SpicyScroteRoastery · 2021-03-08T14:17:51+00:00

Voted 'not sure yet' but would have chosen 'do want children with the right HVM' just a few weeks ago. I was extremely set on being a mother for years but I've so rarely been in first place in my own life. It took me a damn long time to get here and I kind of want to spoil myself for the rest of my life? That's my current mood anyway lol. Just imagining a man I'd be willing to put my body through a pregnancy for is impossible. I'm not sure I ever want to cohabitate with a man again or marry one. I'm not ruling it out, but it seems very unlikely right now. Cats on the other hand..

fleuretpomme · 2021-03-08T15:01:27+00:00

Wish there was a "No" answer. I like pets, but not everyone does. Just because someone doesn't want kids doesn't mean they substitute with pets...

ASmallGardenFairy · 2021-03-08T14:53:11+00:00

I would honestly love to adopt or foster as a single mom. It’s controversial but I can’t imagine myself dating a man anymore.

fdsonlynoscrubs · 2021-03-08T07:13:12+00:00

Want them with a HVM or on my own! I can do it on my own, have frozen eggs, it’s becoming a very serious option.

solitairelover · 2021-03-08T14:07:50+00:00

I want to adopt. My husband and I have discussed it extensively, I’ve already had a miscarriage and it sucked. I always wanted to foster and adopt, even back when I was a little girl playing with baby dolls. I’m from a big family (trust me when I say bigger than most) and have effectively raised most of my siblings because my mother was too ill to leave her bed. They are my pride and joy and no one would ever be able to tell me I haven’t mothered them. I don’t need to know a child is biologically mine to love them. I’m also not the biggest fan of newborns and I know I would not like the changes pregnancy would make to my body, especially after dealing with trauma related to my body. I love children, I don’t see why I have to traumatize myself physically and emotionally to raise them and be a good mother.

GlamorKiss · 2021-03-08T15:40:29+00:00

I want to give birth, seeing adorable babys just stirs something special inside of me.

The dream is to do it with a loving husband, but maybe even as a single mother if I don’t find one

Unlikely-Marzipan · 2021-03-08T11:43:10+00:00

I said don’t want kids, but I should have said pets! I could potentially be persuaded to have them with the right HVM. But I’ve kind of given up on finding one and I’m at the age now where I literally have to decide to have them, and you know what? I’m tired! Haha. So even if I do eventually find a good guy, I couldn’t be bothered with the kids thing because I’m tired and also, you just never really know if he’s a HVM.

candyfox84 · 2021-03-08T17:09:19+00:00

Just a friendly reminder that this question isn't always appreciated by those in the infertility community, and can be hugely triggering. Infertility affects 12% of women. Please: no adoption, surrogacy, or any other type of bingo.

Title	Do you want children? Poll.
Author	fierce_and_mighty
Upvotes	84
Comments	59
Date	March 8, 2021 12:40 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m03s66/do_you_want_children_poll/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/do-you-want-children-poll.749471 https://theredarchive.com/post/749471

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