Found on fb. This just seems like “things a decent spouse should do,” hardly worth a 4 page essay.

Lemon_bars_addiction · 2021-03-11T22:31:04+00:00

The bar is inside earth’s crust.

Also, he can only boil eggs and butter bread? A grown ass man?

ASeaOfQuotes · 2021-03-11T22:41:41+00:00

Dependable is the bare minimum.

Yesterday’s dirty dishes? Why didn’t he wash them! Gotten up to crying baby? He’s the fucking father! Doesn’t complain about travel plans? Why would he, you did all the work, he just gets to reap the benefits while you keep the schedule.

Dear lord. You can tell this is a woman who gave up finding the ‘love of her life’ and settled for the ‘love right here’. But yes, please remind us that we should be grateful for a man who pushes a grocery cart for us.

2021-03-12T01:06:32+00:00

“I settled for my partner in life, but if I keep typing I can convince myself it’s totally fine! He can’t fall short of my standards if I don’t have any!”

This is actually really sad. You can tell there’s so much more she wants to experience and he’s not trying to love her the way she wants.

GodILoveTheEnglish · 2021-03-12T01:14:18+00:00

He doesn’t give me any grand romantic gestures and he can’t cook, but it’s okay because once a week he makes me coffee! He even fishes my cup out of all the dirty dishes I’m going to have to wash later, how sweet is he!!!

Flutter321 · 2021-03-12T03:48:35+00:00

At the end of the novel 1984, the main character is reflecting on how he has come to love "Big Brother"; the government party whom he hated and sought freedom and rebellion from. The way Orwell writes about the protagonist's process of mental gymnastics to settle and embrace his reality in the book has been described as soul-crushing.
This post gives me the exact vibes of that ending, a sadness and grief of an unrealized dream. While it makes for a great piece of literature, it is terrible to live it out in reality. This person has had their needs unmet for so long that they now think washing a coffee mug is a meaningful loving gesture.

Baekseoulhui · 2021-03-12T01:27:36+00:00

This stuff is nice but like.... Thats all basic ass stuff??? Things that, if someone actually cares about you, SHOULD do.

Why are we congratulating men for doing the minimum???

Kylie_Fan · 2021-03-12T03:10:08+00:00

WOW! He looks after his own child???? 😲😲😯

Quick, girls, let's build him a statue!!!!!

aburke626 · 2021-03-11T22:30:11+00:00

Reading this, I just kept feeling like this lady is settling, or she wouldn’t be writing 4 pages about how her husband grocery shops. Everything she lists is stuff I would expect from a grown man in a marriage with children. He sometimes remembers food you like? He washes your mug? He sometimes tends to his own child even! But he can’t cook. And oh god if I hear one more man praised for buying menstrual products, I’ll scream. And how kind of this man not to complain when you go out to cultural events together, what a keeper!

I know people have different love languages, and I won’t knock on this lady for wanting acts of service instead of gifts, but she’s really too excited about the bare minimum here.

kycake · 2021-03-12T02:17:18+00:00

“he can only boil eggs and butter bread” no one is born a chef. he can easily look up a receipt and put together a decent dinner date if he wanted to. this woman is seriously romanticizing low value / bare minimum behavior. sad.

Mysterious_Midnight7 · 2021-03-12T03:02:03+00:00

This is so depressing lmao Imagine being at the point where you're applauding your giant manbaby husband for not burning the house down, and trying to convince everyone else that this is goals? Lmaoooooo

Charming-Bee-2337 · 2021-03-12T05:17:44+00:00

Uh why not both? A man cant push a cart and also buy you flowers??

berrylikeova · 2021-03-11T22:34:31+00:00

Idk lady. My husband pushes the cart and makes coffee. But also always cooks for us and takes care of our pets and buys me flowers consistently and plans trips for us as well as grabbing my favorite candy whenever he is out and making sure I never run out of “my favorite lady products,” soft cups.

Champagne_bitch · 2021-03-12T04:34:38+00:00

Yo, If my boyfriend only push grocery cart. I'd push his ass out of the relationship. My boyfriend is very amazing. Most things he did exceed my expectations. When it was my birthday. He managed to get his hand on a best seller limited edition designer bag I've always wanted. On valentine, he got me a perfume that I actually enjoy and used. We shared chocolate together on a 3 stars hotel he worked hard to save using his part time job, he is a college part timer and can do this much. Your husband can only help you push cart? Bruh 🙄 stop excusesing his low effort.

Coffeecatssunnydays · 2021-03-11T23:04:13+00:00

That’s a nice thing for him to do to be a nice person/roommate. But does he love her the way she loves him?

temproaryusername · 2021-03-11T22:41:10+00:00

Lotta words for "I settled and to make myself feel better, I think other women should settle too."

spinsterchachkies · 2021-03-11T23:01:08+00:00

Um. 👀 why do I feel like hes always pushed the cart and been a little considerate about other people coffee cups not because he wants to show his love but because that’s just who he is. Shes just bread crumming herself with any and every little thing he does to tell herself he cares.

puddinh · 2021-03-12T14:19:01+00:00

Flowers die, chocolates get eaten, but my husband follows me around with a shopping cart 24/7!

EveSerpent · 2021-03-11T23:25:41+00:00

He makes coffee once a week. Who does it the other 6 days?

He pushes a cart on wheels. Wow! Who chooses the food, looks for sales, keeps a running budget in her head, calculates what is needed for a week’s worth of meals to feed everyone?

There’s too much else to address but it all comes back to this guy doing less than the bare minimum. LVM alert.

pinkcityscape · 2021-03-11T23:15:57+00:00

The bar is in hell

janeaustenfan99 · 2021-03-12T05:41:45+00:00

So he can’t cook?

TheDameWithoutASmile · 2021-03-11T23:24:13+00:00

I'm... so suspicious of this. My NVX always unloaded the groceries for me. Always. At first I thought it was really sweet... then as the years went by, it turned out he was just really good at doing the little, unconsequential things so that I would overlook the big things.

Throwawayrightaway28 · 2021-03-11T22:45:37+00:00

Don’t settle. You CAN have it all. My dad buys my mom flowers and chocolates all the time, cooks dinner at least twice a week (they eat out the rest of time), is constantly doing things around the house from domestic chores to handiwork.

pinkpoopgtelost · 2021-03-12T17:03:13+00:00

Is this a fucking joke?? He WASHES A DIRTY MUG and that’s something special? And he can’t cook. Is she describing an adult man or an child? What excuses do men have for not knowing how to cook AT ALL??

DallasOMalley · 2021-03-12T00:42:17+00:00

I feel like a lot of these tasks are just the baseline for being a decent, helpful human.

This sounds like the monologue of a woman who's spent years being unhappy with the bare minimum, but then started seeing a pick me therapist who encouraged her to "practice gratitude".

I mean.... If she's genuinely happy, well... Good for her. But it sounds like she's trying awfully hard to convince herself of something.

Pecuche · 2021-03-12T17:26:42+00:00

Some of the listed activities are clearly for the benefit of both but she's talking (and maybe he's acting) like he's doing her a favour?! What the hell, this is so depressing.

Trillian_42_ · 2021-03-11T23:49:39+00:00

This is worse than a participation trophy. He pushed a cart. What the hell did he contribute? She cooked the food, probably paid for all of it, takes care of this children (if they have any), and entertains him. But he pushed a cart

klops_fighter · 2021-03-12T13:18:09+00:00

It is possible to push a cart and buy her flowers.

favoritesound · 2021-03-12T14:34:52+00:00

Gaslighting herself into thinking settling is ok cuz nobody else is going to tell her this shit. So she has to write it out herself.

throwaway32132134 · 2021-04-11T00:06:47+00:00

I'm sorry the part about him washing her mug before putting coffee into it HAS ME DEAD. 😂 I LITERALLY LAUGHED. Someone washing your dirty cup before putting coffee into it is not something to praise. LOL WTF IS GOING ON.

Also side note, WHY CAN'T WE HAVE BOTH? Why can't we have everyday love and momentary love.

2021-03-12T19:48:58+00:00

Yeah I don't think pushing a grocery cart or bringing you coffee negates the blood pressure spike when you see the sink filled with crusty dishes, then hear the wails of "But I brought you coffeeeeeeee" when you cOmMuNiCaTe your displeasure.

WildTenderness · 2021-03-12T00:46:57+00:00

I was getting the sentiment until she said he can't cook... Sis–what? It's true that not everyone likes flowers/chocolate/travel/etc., so all these other ways he support her are valid, but there are def a couple that just.. no. You are doing all the cooking, but he hands you a warm cup of coffee? You do majority of the childcare, but he sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night for his children? Sis was makin' a valid point but got horribly lost 💀

CynicalSucculent · 2021-03-12T00:20:02+00:00

r/Twoxchromosomes behavior

Sewud · 2021-03-12T11:27:26+00:00

Sis doesn't get it. It's like she's telling other women "stop complaining that you don't get flowers and chocolates because I get trips and phone calls and the groceries unloaded for me". She just sounds entitled. For years she didn't see what her husband did for her. That's on her. But meanwhile there are a lot of women whose partner doesn't take them on trips, doesn't call them after work and doesn't unload the groceries for them. Maybe those are the women saying they would like some flowers. I wouldn't assume that women who want flowers are just being frivolous.

Title	Found on fb. This just seems like “things a decent spouse should do,” hardly worth a 4 page essay.
Author	aburke626
Upvotes	105
Comments	63
Date	March 11, 2021 10:26 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/m32hw9/found_on_fb_this_just_seems_like_things_a_decent/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/found-on-fb-this-just-seems-like-things-a-decent.767997 https://theredarchive.com/post/767997

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