From a thread where a man said that they need explicit instructions for them to do something for their SOs. Imagine being the wife of this man, how sad is this :(

Adawritesrules · 2020-09-02T16:13:27+00:00

Does she help him out his underwear on and wipe his ass in the morning too?

GlitteringAdvice2020 · 2020-09-02T16:52:09+00:00

He’s seems so happy that he’s disappointed his wife so many times on her birthday that she taken it upon herself to plan her own surprise, proving once again that the bar doesn’t exist.

Ms_Tilly · 2020-09-02T16:48:54+00:00

I make mental notes about what the people I date or hang around with like so that I have ideas for birthdays and Xmas. I had so much fun picking out some really cool shit for my bf of just over a year. One item I had to special order. He had seen someone's shirt in an airport and stopped the guy and said he loved his shirt, then turned to me and said "I have to get a shirt like that!" Deciding what presents to get people you spend a lot of time with should be easy. When he asked me what I wanted for Xmas, I told him to think of things he knows I like. He literally said "NOPE. Here's my card. Order yourself something." I ordered my shit, but I never forgot that bs and did dump him several months later.

MuffinSongs · 2020-09-02T16:37:22+00:00

If my 11 year old can manage making me feel special on my birthday, a grown ass man should be able to also.

vmuzondi · 2020-09-02T18:07:21+00:00

These are the kinds of men who are floored by divorce. They see this is as cute or wholesome, while the wife is seething with resentment because she has to force him to be thoughtful. I wouldn’t be surprised if they had a dead bedroom either.

Half_Halt · 2020-09-02T19:16:52+00:00

Oh, for f--ks sake! 🙄

A little story from when I managed the jewelry department of a well-known US suburban specialty store. A woman asked to look at diamond studs. She went back & forth between several pairs & seemed to be agonizing over making a selection. She apologized for taking so much of my time. I assured her that I was cheerfully there for as long as she needed. She pulled a dog earred envelope from her handbag & made a sad revelation. Her husband had died of cancer 2 years ago. He'd left behind the enevelop of cash with a letter instructing her to buy herself the earrings she'd been wanting.

Ladies, I sort of held it together while she finished making her selection & she asked if she could give me a hug. Afterwards, I BAWLED in the breakroom for 10 minutes. This lady's husband planned something special for her after his death! Meanwhile, this idiot can''t even be assed to ask his poor wife what she would like??

Lavender_flow · 2020-09-02T16:38:19+00:00

She might as well buy her own damn ring, wtf is the point of this.

Wchijafm · 2020-09-02T17:04:34+00:00

I'm feeling this on a spiritual level right now. Fuck my marriage.

AverageToHot · 2020-09-02T17:19:10+00:00

I’d rather be single than have to force a man to give me thoughtful gifts.

QuickJellyfish2 · 2020-09-02T17:53:08+00:00

My boyfriend is amazing at random gifts. He has a little notepad on his phone and writes in anytime I mention something. Last one was a big pink (my favourite) weighted blanket as I had mentioned wanting to try one. Or he got me a little custom mini version of my cat, which I had seen online and loved - but they were a little costly - that was an amazing surprise!!

We also sat down fairly early on in the relationship and quiz each other; what’s your shoe size, ring size, favourite treats, preference in watches/jewellery, things NOT to buy, etc. That’s significantly less romantic but it’s helped me out when I wanted to buy something as a surprise but didn’t want to ask for clarifying information, and potentially blow up the surprise!!

bloofoster · 2020-09-02T17:56:09+00:00

"...I was delighted."

Really, now? Is it your birthday or hers.

FurryBellyButt0n · 2020-09-02T17:40:11+00:00

Literally cringed because I was that pickme 1 year ago this week. If you need to send them explicit gift instructions and gift ideas, he is not the one sis!

ClintEastwoods_Chair · 2020-09-02T17:42:33+00:00

How is this man not ashamed of this?

ShieldMaidenLagertha · 2020-09-02T17:36:17+00:00

That’s depressing.

Pahapan · 2020-09-03T02:27:52+00:00

My bedroom has a museum vibe, half natural history and half art and lots of potted plants. My aesthetic could be described as maximalism. Someday I'll own a home that's going to be cluttered witch's cottage meets Victorian era collection enthusiast's house. It's going to be full of neat shit to look at. My ex wormed his way into moving in with me, so he intimately knew about this aspect of myself.

When my birthday was approaching he whined that he didn't know what to get me, because I'm not a "materialistic person". What??? I LOVE stuff. My walls are covered in shit. I have plants all over the place in pretty pots. I have a low table in my bedroom that's dedicated purely to display. What he really meant is that I'm not into the same type of materialistic possessions as him, like designer clothes and expensive shoes, and he was fully going to use this as an excuse. Our town is full of antique shops. I told him that he could go into literally any one of them and find something around $20 that I'd love. It could have been something as simple as a brass animal figurine and I'd have cherished it. It could've been a fucking pot stand. I resented so much that I had to point out something so obvious about myself to him. I'm not a hard person to buy a present for.

He ended up not getting me anything at all. Didn't even say happy birthday to me. It's not about them not knowing what to get you, it's about them being unwilling to spend even a modicum of mental energy thinking about you, because this type of man does. not. value. you.

Orphanedpinkpetals · 2020-09-02T17:42:36+00:00

Bobo the clown

yourscreennamesucks · 2020-09-02T20:40:23+00:00

They don't need all this explicit instruction at work I bet. Thoughtlessness is a choice.

schuppclaudicatio · 2020-09-02T20:32:29+00:00

So she has another child

Hennyyenni · 2020-09-03T00:38:04+00:00

I was dating my boyfriend for 3 months when it was my bday he told me to come to a certain restaurant, we ate, he then gave me flowers and a teddy bear. Paid for my ride home and when I opened the card there was 300 dollars in it.

And then you have LVM like this

daisy_0720 · 2020-09-02T20:01:52+00:00

What is even the point of being with him if she has to do all the work? She could just be single and get herself an amazing gift without have to mess around on Outlook.

He's literally doing nothing for her that she couldn't do for herself with less stress and hassle.

XxShykatxX · 2020-09-02T18:57:51+00:00

Yikes, low effort much.

superlittlestitous · 2020-09-02T23:45:37+00:00

I saw that! All I could think was a mixture of "wtf" and "that poor wife." Pay attention to your SO and you'll be able to tell what they would like. Not getting paid attention by your SO is where this leads, picking out and doing extra work just to get a gift because your husband couldn't be bothered to know you well enough to pick a gift himself.

scritchandsnaff · 2020-09-02T18:16:27+00:00

It's literally in male nature to provide and "peacock" with your chosen spouse. How can you feel proud of your masculinity to literally have your women do YOUR job? And then men preach that women "emasculate" them. 🙄

lisasimpsonfan · 2020-09-02T22:01:00+00:00

IDK I always make a list of things I would like for my birthday, Christmas, Anniversary, Mother's Day, etc... It is just suggestions to give him an idea of what I would. For example if there are any books I want or special fandom items or since I am into cooking things for that. He does the same for me. We don't stick to the list but it gives us an idea of what the other person wants and what we can get with our budget.

Verysoftbun · 2020-09-03T03:59:50+00:00

I hate when men who know how to minmax video games and iv train Pokemon can't figure out how to be a basically good partner. Damn.

chasingxxsanity · 2020-09-03T08:37:40+00:00

All this needs is an addition saying he paid for it from their shared bank account.

2020-09-02T19:09:15+00:00

My ex was like that, I had to tell him exactly what I wanted him to do for me for him to do it. It lacked meaning and intention when I did that. Finally realized he wouldn't change and left.

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