How do I breakup with my boyfriend?

SeaNegotiation8 · 2020-08-16T03:16:07+00:00

Do. Not. Send. Him. Nudes.

He will use them for extortion or to control you.

sewingmachinesavior · 2020-08-16T02:03:28+00:00

“I’ve decided I don’t want to proceed further in this relationship. Good luck.” BLOCK EVERYWHERE. And watch your back. Have a friend stay or go stay with a friend if you think he might come over.

You are not obligated to let him in. Or give your reasons or anything.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-08-16T01:26:02+00:00

Send him a text message telling him he's a dirty old piece of shit. Then block him.

Alternately. Send him a text message telling him is over. Then block him.

VikingPug · 2020-08-16T01:34:58+00:00

You may feel obligated to give him explanations. But you aren’t.

If you want to be nice just text him that you don’t want to see him anymore and not to contact you. Then block him everywhere. If he shows up to your house don’t answer the door. Call the police if he doesn’t leave. Go to a friend, or family members house if you’re scared you’ll cave.

I mean, you’ve only been dating 2 months. You could just block him and never think about him again.

Don’t be afraid. Men do it to women all the time. Why should you feel scared to cut off a loser that you don’t even sound like you like.

throwaway23004345 · 2020-08-16T02:38:33+00:00

It’s acceptable to ghost in this situation, let the old fucker die alone

sassylittlespoon · 2020-08-16T02:49:39+00:00

Why are you scared? It doesn’t sound like you’re losing anything of value. In fact, you should be scared of staying and wasting even more time you could be spending focusing on yourself!

2020-08-16T04:14:55+00:00

He is pressuring you sexually. It will only get worse. Leave him as safely as possible. Seriously; if you can’t see yourself this way for the next 60 years, stop it and move on, save yourself the trauma. It’s best to stay within 3/5 years of your age. 35 is way too old for you!

chateauduchat · 2020-08-16T03:26:58+00:00

Girl you already know what to do. Good luck. Rip the band-aid off now, so you don't have to amputate your limbs later.

Pasdepromesses · 2020-08-16T03:29:54+00:00

From this post alone, you hit 3/8 boundaries of this instagram post that I saw yesterday:

https://www.instagram.com/p/CDosgxzFnTa/?igshid=1sa05lgb5uz20

A no is a full sentence. Not the opening for a negotiation or the cue for emotional blackmail. He sounds way to controlling and at his age it’s probably something that’s not easy for him to unlearn. Sounds also not willing to work on it.

Make a good short and to the point break-up message, block him on everything afterwards and stay with a female friend or a family member for one or two weeks afterwards. Preferably at their place, but if it’s a brother or dad location doesn’t matter.

IAmGoingToBeBetter · 2020-08-16T02:28:55+00:00

Dump him and then block his ass Sis.

meecy166 · 2020-08-16T04:32:20+00:00

This age gap relationships barely works, and the disgusting power imbalance between them, where the men has so much life experiences and the woman is just now figuring herself out, ask me how I know? I know it is hard op, but you can do it and you won’t regret it, you’d probably be looking at this post in the future like wtf I can’t believe I ever needed assistance letting this old fart go

Scotsburd · 2020-08-16T06:52:05+00:00

Do not feel that you need to ditch him in person. A text is too good for this one, frankly. Ditch and block. If he gets annoying, call the Police.

2020-08-16T03:26:42+00:00

All you need to do is send a short break up text. It’s not your fault he is so LV. You don’t need to get lowered even more into break up drama. I would tell him personally just tell him something super short like 1-2 sentences. I would say I’ve been uncomfortable with how things are and I don’t want to see each other any more. If he messages you back A million times I would just repeat myself with the same sentence and add please leave me alone

onemoredaydream · 2020-08-16T05:26:47+00:00

Break up with him!!

To me, it sounds like hes ready to settle down and get you trapped. Absolutely do NOT!!!

I would dump him now so theres no way of accidentally getting pregnant or anything.

Just say you think you want different things from the relationship and it's not going to work.

ApartPersonality · 2020-08-16T06:13:15+00:00

Sometimes it’s hard to find the right language to break up. Try something like:

I no longer want to be in a relationship with you. Please respect my space.”

Or

“This relationship isn’t working for me and I no longer want to date you or be in a relationship with you. Wishing you the best going forward.”

He may demand more explanations but you don’t owe him further explanation. You do not have to justify your decisions. You might fee shitty in the short term but you will feel better in the long term.

Pahapan · 2020-08-16T06:35:54+00:00

In your shoes I would send him an unambiguous breakup communication (could be a phone call, voicemail message, text, email, whatever you're comfortable with. I ended things with a guy once by leaving his hoodie folded up on his car and he got the message!), resist the urge to get sucked into having a conversation about it in which he forces you to explain yourself (you're not his mother, it's not your job to teach him what he's done wrong), and then block him on everything. Nothing good can come from him continuing to be able to contact you. Consider making the people you know in common aware that you've broken up. Then go live your life!

Also, don't you just love how probably 99% of the guys who post on dead bedrooms conveniently leave out the various ways they're mistreating their gf/wife? 🙄

Violet_Plum_Tea · 2020-08-16T06:37:22+00:00

OP, where are you? We are worried about you. What makes you feel stuck and afraid to break up?

It sounds like you don't live together - that is good. Not much practical entanglement.

I wanted to tell you that breaking up is not fun, sometimes it sucks, and there's never a "good" way to do it, and you will feel uncomfortable. It's kind of like going to the dentist to deal with a messed up tooth - you don't want to do it, but in the end you'll be much better off once it's done.

If you're afraid of retaliation, there are many types of support and resources available.

kaoutanu · 2020-08-16T08:44:30+00:00

Normally I'd give you a whole lot of waffle about having a kind but firm conversation, but with this guy - NAH SIS.

It is perfectly ok to break up with this guy by text. In fact feel free to text him something like "ur disgusting lol. Don't contact me again". Then block delete ghost.

Don't even waste your energy on unnecessary vowels.

You have just discovered why he is 35 and single. Trust me you will not be the first woman to dump his gross ass, but he may act like you are. Don't fall for it.

Learn what you can from this and move on.

ChristianGirl93 · 2020-08-16T01:46:31+00:00

They show their colors fast don’t they? Don’t feel like it’s any loss to you. My former pickme ways had my ex sexually spoiled and when he picked drama with me that he wouldn’t fix, then he had the audacity to demand pics while I was at his Mom’s house like.. boy, can’t you sneak over here or wait. And then he wanted to make a sex tape and I said maybe after marriage and then I said, second thought I wouldn’t want that if I was married. And he got so defensive. Like bro, I thought you learned in your first marriage that you can’t just film her and watch her as you please when she doesn’t want to sleep with you, have self control. Like if I had met a guy who was LL, I’d be turned on thinking that I couldn’t have sex whenever I would have to wait until they are ready and it would be so hot. But that’s just me

goatismycopilot · 2020-08-16T09:58:39+00:00

Tell him: we are not compatible. Do not give him a long list of reasons so he can argue with him. If he tries that say: you do not seem happy with this relationship . Then block him, cut him off and stop speaking to him.

FitResearcher5 · 2020-08-16T11:50:30+00:00

The nudes thing is a massive red flag, please leave. He sounds annoyed that he can’t control you more and that you’re immune to his tricks

Struggleis4real · 2020-08-16T09:51:05+00:00

Text him that it’s over and block. Block on everything.

If you are genuinely concerned about your safety, please let your family know and/or also make sure your closest friends are aware too. If he sends anything threatening, screenshot it. Before the breakup, make sure to take any personal items and such that is left at his place, and be logged out if you’ve used his computer or something similar. Can never be too cautious because uncontrolled anger is a scary beast.

Saturnsloverr · 2020-08-16T12:19:23+00:00

Leave now without any explanation. He's starting to become abusive. The most dangerous time for a woman is when she's breaking up with a guy. If he knows where you live get a friend to stay with you for a while or go visit your parents.

Novemberinthechair · 2020-08-16T08:54:50+00:00

Two months? He seems crazy. Run for your life.

rhyth7 · 2020-08-16T09:49:29+00:00

Don't go anywhere with him. He might try to kidnap you.

LaTaina87 · 2020-08-16T09:57:18+00:00

Breakup. Sounds like he’s desperate

avakadava · 2020-08-16T06:21:15+00:00

What tricks does he do to try and make you jealous and how do you respond ?

mrs1001nights · 2020-08-16T14:20:04+00:00

Get your shit and fucking leave. Block him on everything, do not allow contact with him and do not be alone with him. Seriously. 2 months and he’s acting like this is a SCARY trajectory, and the fact he’s making sexual demands of you is even worse. I would not be surprised if he became emotionally abusive, demeaning or even violent soon. Get out of there!!!

2020-08-16T14:25:34+00:00

Just say we're done and block him. I don't understand the question, really?

KickKathleeenKennedy · 2020-08-16T16:19:54+00:00

Thank you everyone who commented!!! I was out hiking unfortunately with my boyfriend at the time. Today I’m spending a day with my girl friend and think it’s the best time to send a text and block so I will do just that. Hopefully everything goes as smoothly as it can !

2020-08-16T01:56:27+00:00

Yeah I think a quick call to say it isn’t working out and be very clear and adamant on that then bow out and block

glazedhamster · 2020-08-16T13:56:16+00:00

You're getting a lot of good advice but I want to emphasize that the short and sweet approach before you block and delete is best here. A guy like this will manipulate the shit out of you if you try to "be the better person" and explain why you're breaking up with him. Don't bother, for your sake. Not like it would make a lick of difference anyway. "This isn't working out, best of luck to you" boom, done, then block him everywhere. Try not to overthink it, just rip that bandaid off and go live your best life!

EclecticBarbarella · 2020-08-16T16:40:22+00:00

Don’t tell him shit. Just block him and go on with the wonderful life you lead. Every single thing he’s tried was manipulative and insane, and while I commend you for not falling for any of it I highly recommend you get out before he finds something that works. You shouldn’t feel stuck, you can 100% walk away at any time under any conditions you want. YOU control your life and you don’t owe him anything, if you don’t want to be around him you don’t have to. You don’t have to call or text him, or say goodbye, or do anything you don’t want to do

Jelly_Lover · 2020-08-16T18:58:55+00:00

Please, please leave this relationship. It doesn't and won't get any better.

Title	How do I breakup with my boyfriend?
Author	KickKathleeenKennedy
Upvotes	143
Comments	48
Date	August 16, 2020 1:15 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/iajifp/how_do_i_breakup_with_my_boyfriend/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/how-do-i-breakup-with-my-boyfriend.68238 https://theredarchive.com/post/68238

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