Is this Instagram activity acceptable in a relationship?

AAlegend8 · 2021-10-26T21:04:49+00:00

There are a million nvm doing this so it’s everywhere you turn. Of course if you ask them and those they associate with, they will tell you it’s normal. What are they going to say? You caught me; I’m a disgusting pervert and I should know better? Yes I want to bang that woman at work and this is my way of signalling interest? Take that action exactly for what it it, a giant, blazing red flag. Plus they are gross👎🏻🤮.

Big-Paleontologist13 · 2021-10-26T23:38:34+00:00

just text “yeah i’m just not feeling it anymore, i’m turned off” guys hate that! then block and delete

motokos_ghost · 2021-10-26T20:07:45+00:00

my nvm ex did this and whenever i'd try to cOMMUNICaTE my feelings, he straight up did not care, my post history outlines the issue, i've commented more then once about it. he literally chose ig fantasy girls over me. towards the end of our relationshit he was following sex workers, on top of the local girls he was trying fuck..

..and i know he was trying to fuck them because i caught his comments when he thought i wasnt following what he was doing on ig.

ive noticed men who follow these accounts are porn addicted, and really perverted.you can tell they have no issue disrespecting their gf's publicly like that, triangulating these women with their gfs, chatting up these women in dm's, or leaving comments trying to connect with them in some way. it's so fucked up that any woman be told to "deal with it, youre just jealous" about this shit.

none of the hvm in relationships my friends are in follow anything close to accounts like that on social media..because they actually love their gf/wives.

shockingupdate · 2021-10-26T21:40:12+00:00

I didn’t think it was a big deal in my early twenties, but what I eventually learned is that men who spend their free time scrolling through Insta models are 1) boring, please get a hobby and 2) pornsick and used to viewing women as a meat market, which almost inevitably trickles down to the way they treat me. These days I’ll block and delete any man whose activities makes me feel insecure or uncomfortable, online or in-person.

ello-motto · 2021-10-26T19:08:41+00:00

With porn and IG softcore, men love to rationalize it by saying "bUt wE'rE nOt cHeAtInG!"

Cheating aside, it's a character flaw.

You have a defective male on your hands.

One that continues to objectify women, and has purposely gone out of his way to continue following these Instagram accounts, and double tap when they pop up on his screen.

Flip the script, would you be tapping on half naked muscular men with six packs, full head of sexy hair, huge dicks in thongs and a butler outfit every day while you're in a serious relationship with a boyfriend? Wouldn't you think about your partner's feelings? Wouldn't that activity be stopped during a relationship? You have your answer.

bizzybumblebee · 2021-10-26T18:24:27+00:00

what do you mean "brought up"? he's not gonna change his ways

IDontAgreeSorry · 2021-10-26T18:54:34+00:00

Dealbreaker imo.

shedipity · 2021-10-26T23:20:51+00:00

If you’re uncomfortable now you’ll be uncomfortable forever. This will never work, he’s publicly liking pictures of half naked women. Shows he has no respect for you. Block and delete and go have a girls night 🥂

repurposedschleem · 2021-10-26T18:43:06+00:00

Yeah guys will never admit it because sometimes they don’t even realize it themselves but it’s a show of disrespect toward you. And it won’t change, he’ll only get pissy if you say anything.

Cut your losses if this is unacceptable to you. You deserve respect! Speaking to both of you here.

SupremeDearLeader · 2021-10-26T23:04:40+00:00

At the very least it's sleazy and disrespectful. There is no upside to having " the talk" as this is a LVM quality that he will only hide from her .

LeaNoodles · 2021-10-27T01:20:02+00:00

Honey if you have to ask then it's not acceptable!

ApartPersonality · 2021-10-26T23:37:33+00:00

Here’s some language for you:

“I get it that this person is you friend, but by liking her thirst trap pictures, you’re sending a clear message thats makes me doubt your investment in this relationship. I need to be with someone who is able to focus on me and our connection more.” Considering adding: “I will be deleting your number.” Block+delete.

Anything aside from a vehement apology will be clearly identifiable as gaslighting, because you have laid out your need for him to be focused on you and if he tried to defend himself, he will not only be defending his bad behavior but also validating that his relationship with you is not a priority.

Idk if there is value in giving this dude a warning or just moving forward with nexting him.

filthy-weeb · 2021-10-26T19:37:50+00:00

Absolutely not. I think it's disrespectful AND embarrassing to the girl when guys in relationships let their friends/followers know that they're indulging in soft porn on Instagram.

crapcakes0987 · 2021-10-26T23:40:59+00:00

Every guy I’ve ever known or liked I used to follow on IG and they always followed a huge amount of local women and they ALL posted bikini pics. A guy I liked for years in high school only used to like photos of women in our grade. It used to make me CRAZY. I used to cry because i did not have many followers like those girls, I did not have a bikini body, and i looked nothing like them. He had a thing for a white women. It is a major red flag to me and it will affect your mental health. He will not change.

FUBARfromLSA · 2021-10-27T00:10:22+00:00

I mean this comment with nothing but peace and love- why does it matter what we think is unacceptable?

If it makes YOU uncomfortable than it is a huge red flag in YOUR relationship and should be a deal breaker for YOU.

MyLifeIsWandsXIII · 2021-10-27T08:35:21+00:00

In my experience the men who consistently like thirst traps on instagram are the LVM of the LVMs and not only because of that (even though that in itself is a low value thing to do) but trust me when I say this is just a sign of worse things that are lying underneath, such as a plausible porn addiction, because let's face it- apps like instagram and TikTok are pretty much softcore applications in a sense because it's so unbelievably easy to come across thirst traps and such. Anyhow, it also signals that he has no problem objectifying women if he's going around liking these type of pics on insta which just tells you that he is a pervert. I am not exaggerating when I say that men who do this are some of the most perverted I have ever met, probably because their porn usage (both softcore and hardcore) is messing big time with their brain so it skews their perception and they see every woman they find attractive as a sex object on two legs.

I wouldn't date a man who does this for these reasons and more.

Due_Garlic479 · 2021-10-26T20:02:32+00:00

It's disrespectful in my eyes. When did following and liking almost nude photos of girls online become normal in a relationship? Women in the 90s would get upset when they found their partner's playboy magazines. What's the point of being in a monogamous relationship if you're going to follow and like sexual photos of other women? What type of mental gymnastics have taken place to even make this normal? I was the pickme girl a couple of years ago, At the time, I just accepted the social norm that this was "normal". But the reality is... If someone tells you that the sky is green, are you going to believe them? People need to look at their own values and figure out what they want and need from a person. Doing that, I realize it's ridiculous that it's been normalized. The public lusting of other almost naked women... Think about it.

I also don't follow those types of pages of men. Why is it so difficult for them not to do? Why don't the care about respectful their partner? How can they not empathize? If they had a daughter, would they be ok with their daughter's bf following those types of pages.

I'm tired of biology being an excuse when I've have these types of conversations in the past. Why are we holding onto only this aspect of humans/men before evolution took place? Because it's a convenient excuse? Women are visual too, we just have respect for our partners but maybe we shouldn't. We all know how men would respond if we did the same thing to them.

-positivity- · 2021-10-26T21:13:13+00:00

I agree with you both: it’s a dealbreaker. Break up with your boyfriends and DON’T tell them why. Just pretend you’re busy until they get the hint, or say you just don’t feel the spark anymore if they ask what’s going on. There’s no need to indulge in drama. He’ll understand that he did you wrong without you telling him outright (because he did and these rats know what they’re doing). There are some sensible men out there, don’t worry

squaremarshmallow · 2021-10-26T18:39:40+00:00

If she were liking guy's shirtless pics how would it look?

anadreamy2 · 2021-10-26T23:46:04+00:00

To me it's a dealbreaker because even though yeah people can find someone's pretty while being in a relationship this is completely different from what these guys are doing because they're engaging with those girl they find attractive. So while now they're just liking their pictures this can easily escalate to something more tangible. I feel like you and your friend should consider if it's really worth for both of you to stay in a relationship with these guys because if they do these things and let you two be aware of that shows that they don't really respect you very much and if they did they wouldn't be doing these things at all.

samedinuitmort · 2021-10-26T18:31:42+00:00

I think it’s a no-no.

The purpose of “liking” a post is to signal publicly that you not only saw it, but want to be associated with it somehow. If it’s a friend, it signals to that friend that he thinks she’s hot. Why would he need to send that subtle message?

Moreover, just seeing this type of content is problematic. Everything you give real estate to in your mind becomes a part of your make-up. Everything you see, read and engage with pleasurably becomes reinforced. Seeing other women sexually (in a revealing outfit, bikini, porn, or even dressed normally) and giving that experience your time and chemical engagement (the release of endorphins from the pleasure of seeing and focusing on an attractive woman) will inevitably dominate your thoughts and emotions over time. That’s how people “fall out of love” or “get bored”. They take themselves there.

To stay loyal, a man needs to disengage from other women sexually completely. He needs to change from “heterosexual” or “bisexual” to “you-sexual”, via a conscious effort to avoid tempting content. Same goes for you of course - if your hot friends post thirst traps, scroll past and don’t indulge (or delete social media). Expect the same form your partner.

And to finish off, if you look into porn/sex/love addiction, they also make it clear that scanning (constantly looking for sexually stimulating images in real women out in the world or on media content) and fantasy (generating these images in your mind’s eye) are addictions in and of themselves and incredibly difficult to stop. Men in 12-step sex addiction groups often identify as Porn, Sex and Fantasy addicts.

Browsing hot girls on Instagram, even if they’re fully dressed, is part of fantasy.

laurencetrishburn · 2021-10-27T07:06:18+00:00

This behaviour does not change to be honest. My NV ex had this same issue but justified it till the very end of the relationship. In my opinion, this is just disrespectful and should not be tolerated.

BiscuitWoof · 2021-10-26T22:54:16+00:00

I just figured out the fastest way to knock those rose coloured glasses off your head is to go through his IG follow list 😂 Tested it with a random scrote - yep, models galore. And their name pops up as having ‘liked’ the bikini pics

deadinsidelol69 · 2021-10-26T22:14:38+00:00

Unacceptable, huge red flag for being pornsick. Block and delete immediately.

vishnushady · 2021-10-27T05:31:32+00:00

to answer the title of this thread: no.

xsweaterxweatherx · 2021-10-27T02:48:20+00:00

Yeah, any man that would like those photos whether he was in a relationship or not is not for me.

xfelugirlx · 2021-10-26T20:56:43+00:00

Dump him, don’t even think twice when they follow nsfw girls or whores. These men dont change, i made the mistake to give a second opportunity to one of them in the past, worst mistake ever😝 like don’t even think about it just run. He isn’t respecting you and if you told him and he didn’t change, he won’t do it either lol don’t waste your time sis

krissycole87 · 2021-10-26T21:52:21+00:00

My best friends husband did this all the time. She hated it and constantly tried to talk to him about it. He always used to say "why? I can look at the menu, I just cant order" in response to this, as if looking at half naked women constantly and liking/commenting was somehow no big deal. But if she was to do it, or any woman for that matter in their relationship, the guy would flip. No this is not fine. No, your instagram feed does not need to be filled with naked womens accounts, cosplayers, models, fitstagrammers, etc. My instagram is filled with artists, musicians, makeup, inspirational pages, etc. It IS POSSIBLE TO NOT HAVE NAKED PHOTOS IN YOUR FEED. Needless to say her and her husband got divorced.

My other best friend is a guy and he is constantly screenshotting photos of girls scantily clad from social media and sending it to me saying omg can you believe she put this on the internet? And its like yeah, why do you think she does, because you and thousands of others follow her for it. I tell him over and over to unfollow all these pages instead of poking fun at how slutty these women dress online. Does he? Most times, no. This only perpetuates the problem.

This leads me to a mini rant, I hate that these types of accounts are even legal on Instagram. Half the stuff some of these women post belongs on a porn site, not on Insta where literal children can run across them. Remember when butts werent allowed online? I remember that, those were good times. Now any girl with a thong and pasties can put her body online no problem. Its downright disgusting, and the types of thirsty comments they get are downright repulsive.

TL;DR - no its not fine for your boyfriend to follow half naked women online. If your boyfriend needs to look at other women naked, that is a problem. And at least for me, an absolute deal breaker.

Educational_Pool_635 · 2021-10-26T22:17:36+00:00

Is this a shitpost???

VanessaViews · 2021-10-28T02:06:37+00:00

Absolutely not acceptable. It's totally one thing to have a genuine friend that just happens to be in a bathing suit while on vacation and posts a picture of said vacation in a bathing suit. But thirst traps and bikini pictures for the sake of being in a bikini nahhhh

Title	Is this Instagram activity acceptable in a relationship?
Author	ilovu3000
Upvotes	282
Comments	41
Date	October 26, 2021 6:20 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qgcn9j/is_this_instagram_activity_acceptable_in_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/is-this-instagram-activity-acceptable-in-a.1081692 https://theredarchive.com/post/1081692

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