Men discuss heartache on Reddit’s relationship forum more than women, study finds… but we’re the ones who are missing out. Suuuure.

Jandi18 · 2022-01-11T15:40:35+00:00

“The researchers also found that the relationship forum was used by men more than women."

Now we know why it’s mostly shitty advise out there. CoMmUniCaTe.

melympia · 2022-01-11T16:45:27+00:00

From the article:

However, the notion of ‘heartache’ was the most discussed theme in general, suggesting that people are seeking help for their relationships online by seeking support for the emotional distress caused by the relationships, rather than for advice on specific problems

So, "heartache" is the state where you're just complaining about your relationship in general. No idea what's wrong, or why it's wrong. Interesting.

JadeBaby2211 · 2022-01-11T15:49:33+00:00

I was listening to the weeknds new album today, and he has some song about the one that got away or something. He starts out the song saying that love makes him scared he runs away, etc. He ends the song languishing that he ran out of time and the opportunity is now gone to "make you mine."

As the patron Saint of LVM, the weeknd shows us all that men will endlessly, loudly cry themselves to sleep....over not being able to "own" women. It's the weirdest misplacement of emotional energy I've ever seen.

Like he was so close at the beginning, seeing how he has attachment issues, then quickly jumps to "well ill feel better if I just had this woman" when in reality, emotional issues don't work like that, you have to actually heal your emotions instead of demanding bangmaids.

Biracial_tooth_fairy · 2022-01-11T17:13:33+00:00

I lurked on a dating subreddit for my city once and saw so many comments from dudes wanting to pump and dump the women they go on "dates" with. It made me sick. But oh yeah. They're the real victims here, aren't they?

edwardianemerald · 2022-01-11T15:56:48+00:00

Heartache what? Heartache after they use us like objects? Heartache after they swear the best dating method is to "spin plates"? Heartache after they give us the silent treatment / drink too much / consume porn on the regular? What heart, where?

scorchedsouI · 2022-01-11T18:08:38+00:00

Men, in tears: "Women have rights now" bawls

ItsFreezen · 2022-01-11T17:21:27+00:00

Scrotes aren't looking for help. lol. "heartache" just means when their favorite player loses a championship or they die in a video game.

all_or_nothing_bet · 2022-01-11T18:01:54+00:00

I don't see them complaining about their heart ache. I only see them complaining either about their inability to get easy sex from anyone, about not being able to fuck beautiful women, about their shitty mind games not working, and about their cheapness and unwillingness/inability to court a woman and pay for dates.

Women, on the other hand, share truly heartbreaking stories about being wronged, abused, harassed, ghosted, broken up with, slow faded on, and taken advantage of by men.

millennialpink2000 · 2022-01-11T16:40:22+00:00

Men don't have friends they talk about stuff with, so they resort to reddit

huixqui · 2022-01-11T18:43:25+00:00

Definitely has nothing to do with the fact that Reddit skews heavily male lmao

missliberia · 2022-01-11T23:01:06+00:00

I know I am an asshole for this but I love male tears. I love reading about the ones they let get away. I love seeing them in pain. They never quite get that they could have handled things better…. So I keep scrolling and kee-keeing.

vaporwav3r · 2022-01-11T23:31:11+00:00

That’s cause we have emotionally checked out and are at peace lol it’s their fault.

Equal-Ear2312 · 2022-01-11T20:51:21+00:00

Are they seeing what I'm seeing? 🧐

Platipus6 · 2022-01-11T22:03:22+00:00

Doubt. Reddit is so heavily moderated to remove anything that displays the pattern of bad behaviour from men, and amplifies 'evil' women.

Women's posts detailing abuse are removed a lot. Probably because she gets the very good advice to involve the police. Can't have other readers getting ideas.

And women delete their own posts out of shame at how duped they've been, or straight up terror that their abusive partner will find it because he's monitoring her.

Men's heartache : she won't tell me why she dumped me wah

Women's heartache : years of abuse while IN the relationship.

m00n5t0n3 · 2022-01-11T17:52:33+00:00

Women have friends

Traumarama79 · 2022-01-11T15:44:00+00:00

I genuinely believe two things contribute to the stereotype that women are so much more dependent on romance than men:

One, it's a relic from back when women were institutionally dependent on men for things like housing and other property, custody of kids, resources, etc. No, it's not that women aren't allowed these things on their own; it's that they just really want a Prince Charming to sweep them off their feet!

Two, because women are encouraged socially to put more effort into preserving long-term relationships, rather than just petulantly stomping around until they get their way. They're more amenable to therapy, self-help books, and other interventions that men eschew as perhaps effeminate. This is consistent with the findings of this study, which speculate that this increased effort on Reddit is due to its lack of "traditional barriers to seeking help".

The reality is that single women live longer, are generally happier, and have more orgasms. We are generally more self-sufficient in the avenues of householding and pursuing higher education. We must always keep in mind: it is, more often than not, men who need us.

Jane_72 · 2022-01-11T16:04:27+00:00

Since Reddit is predominately male I would take this study with a grain of salt.

Ferretastic359 · 2022-01-11T16:06:27+00:00

Just another side effect of men struggling to maintain meaningful social connections in the real world/with other men

Busy_Faithlessness97 · 2022-01-11T17:14:31+00:00

That's because sadly most women who would've benefitted from "hEarTaChe" advice are already either in a mental hospital due to years of severe abuse and gaslighting, in jail due to defending themselves or simply six feet under.

Same as to why we rarely hear about crazy ex boyfriend stories as compared to crazy ex gf = these women are already dead.

For men "heartache" is their wife telling him they're disgusting for wanting to eat their own cum(literally a highly upvoted and awarded post on r/sex rn)

For women "heartache" is their husband beating the shit out of them cheating and making them a single mother saddled with kids and unemployable.

plumeriaworld · 2022-01-11T18:19:02+00:00

My ex had a recent birthday and he had been trying to contact me although I have blocked and deleted him since FDS. I know I should not look him up but just out of curiosity I looked at one of his travel app profiles when I thought of him on his bday. He wrote about how lonely he is and has just been traveling the world aimlessly at this point. Since we broke up this guy has not spent any time in our home country, even during Covid. He sounds pretty miserable.

But he absolutely blew it with me and thought that he could just prance back into my life at any time and that I would take him back with open arms since I was always so forgiving and willing to work through issues before. I know he must be baffled, he has no idea that I found FDS and the strength to block him out of my life. He just turned 40 too. What a pathetic fool.

blehblahbloopboop · 2022-01-12T06:21:10+00:00

The heartache follows the same storyline 80% of the time: scrote complains about sex life, fails to mention that he did nothing to help wife/girlfriend and all the horrible things he did to her, then asks if he’s the asshole. 🥲

PassafistMonkey · 2022-01-11T16:50:54+00:00

Study finds that male dominated site has more posts from men about emotional issues.

Where men don't often share with their friends like this.

Where men can easily only share one side to get an echo chamber.

Where women are usually roasted for sharing relationship issues. 🤔

BedazzledSwashbuckle · 2022-01-11T18:58:07+00:00

This article sort of bugs me.

It has gems like this:

“What was most interesting was that when exploring gender differences, analyses uncovered that men in fact discussed heartache on the relationships forum more than women, and they also showed language patterns consistent with a more secure attachment style,”

and this:

“For example, are men truly less emotionally invested in relationships than women, or is it the case that men are simply stigmatized out of sharing their feelings?”

Considering women in relationships are statistically dealing with the demographic most likely to murder them ... and that a higher percentage of women suffer potentially life-threatening physical trauma in intimate relationships, the attachment style differences along gendered lines aren't surprising.

And of course, the good ol lib-fem trope about men just sounding less empathetic because of all the social pressure on them to suppress they feels ... which we all know is (a) a male problem when it happens - women aren't the ones threatening men for having emotions, and (b) fairly rare; women are far more penalized for being emotional in the workplace, when utilizing community infrastructure, or when expressing an opinion.

crumbsnatcher0 · 2022-01-11T19:06:18+00:00

Let these emotionally stunted Scrotes “ReEeEE” into the void. I’m too fabulous and too smart to care. 💅

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