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Nope

azureangel35

January 26, 2021
2215 upvotes
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy
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Post Information
Title Nope
Author

azureangel35

Upvotes 2215
Comments 64
Date January 26, 2021 9:55 PM UTC
(5 years ago)
Subreddit Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/l5or2r/nope/
Archive Link https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/nope.1193294
https://theredarchive.com/post/1193294
Top posts by azureangel35

Brilliant

8302 upvotes
October 23, 2020
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Comeback queen

8239 upvotes
January 20, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Don't get it twisted; women didn't leave "in the good old days" because they were trapped, not because they were fucking ride or die. We literally had no choice but to put up with abuse and other myriad bullshit. Men cannot stand the fact that we are no longer forced to submit.

7045 upvotes
January 31, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

This hit.

5229 upvotes
November 6, 2020
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Things that make you go Hmmm...

5178 upvotes
April 11, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Eye Opening.

4911 upvotes
May 25, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

To the NAMALT brigade

4325 upvotes
March 16, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Don't reward the bare minimum.

4099 upvotes
January 16, 2021
/r/FemaleDatingStrategy

Comments

[–][deleted] 412 points413 points414 points 5 years ago (19 children) | Copy Link

Communicate! /s

[–][deleted] 5 years ago* (16 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]miloba_FDS Newbie 221 points222 points223 points 5 years ago (15 children) | Copy Link

dOnT gIvE uP, pEoPlE cAn ChAnGe

[–][deleted] 5 years ago* (14 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]like_onomatopoeiaFDS Newbie 174 points175 points176 points 5 years ago (12 children) | Copy Link

DOn’T bE so HaRD on HiM, He iS GOinG THrouGH a rOUgh TimE. He nEEds YOur SuPPort anD UNderSTanDIng.

[–]PasDeToutFDS Newbie 147 points148 points149 points 5 years ago (11 children) | Copy Link

AGe gAp oF 30 YeaRS is FiNE AnD NOt a REd fLAg

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple 116 points117 points118 points 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

You’re EmaScULatInG him!

[–]Mella_20 85 points86 points87 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

YoU ShOuLDNt hAvE sNOoPeD

[–]avokatze66 points 5 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

ReLAtiOnsHipS aRE HarD wORk!

[–]Talktothecat1FDS Newbie 28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Lower your expectationz

[–]FriendlyPitch1Pickmeisha™️ 73 points74 points75 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I'M IN TEARSSS THIS THREADD

[–]LocalFeministttttFDS Newbie 336 points337 points338 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

The only positive thing about these type of posts is the daily reminder that being single is amazing and much better than spending time on some jerk

[–][deleted] 5 years ago* (7 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]azureangel35 5 years ago* [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

he's a really good guy who games all day, missed my birthday and throttles me during sex. We have 3 beautiful babies together but his ex did a number on him so he doesn't want to get married. Until he finds work we're staying in his parents basement. I love him so much even though he calls me names, I know he doesn't mean it. Should I propose with a Ps5?

[–][deleted] 5 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]azureangel3583 points 5 years ago* [recovered] (3 children) | Copy Link

That's the thing; I've been in bad relationships with LVM, but in my heart of hearts I knew their various behaviors were awful and I shouldn't stand for them. I made excuses for them but at a certain point I couldn't keep doing that. I guess we all have different breaking points. I feel lucky to have been able to walk away.

[–]AshitagaFDS Newbie 39 points40 points41 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I went through something similar with my ex. I was gaslighted so much, but I knew deep down something was wrong, especially since one of my best friends kept trying to point it out to me. I finally had enough, and with the validation and support from close friends and family, I left the scrote and never looked back. Not once. Blocked, deleted and never went back.

So it's really sad to see women going through and accepting this behavior because of the fear of being alone or losing the guy when really, the guy is only dragging her down.

[–]Blackandbeautiful95FDS Newbie 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

Same here. I'm a super honest person and hate to lie but while I was in a relationship with my Lv ex I started hiding things in conversations with friends and family and that's when it started hitting me, that I'm also dishonest with myself, my values and morals. Even though I knew what was the right thing to do, I still gave him so many chances and when he broke my things during one of his temper tantrums I decided to move in silence and plan my exit. I played it off as "I just need some time to work on myself to be a better partner for you" (as this was the only option going out of there unharmed) and never looked back. I had to block him and turned him in to police due to his stalking... But you live, love and learn! Now I'm so aware to red flags and have no problem to give you the boot early on. I don't care for PoTentiaLS, bAd Ch!ldh00d 3xPeriENces etc no more and you shouldn't neither!

[–]AshitagaFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah when you start making excuses or hide things that they do, that's a huge red flag. I'm glad you got out of that relationship! Yes, no more looking at potentials and no excuses due to bad childhood experiences.

[–]skyerippaFDS Apprentice 20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah this was me... I wrote this ridiculously long post here and on relationships about how my ex constantly cheated, emotionally terrorized me, beat me and I paid for and did everything and asked what I should do.

Lol trauma bonds and ptsd are hard

[–]wonkyeyes8877 213 points214 points215 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

"Maybe he's depressed. Have you tried talking to him?"

[–]notyourbish 80 points81 points82 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

”Maybe he’s just feeling a little insecure because you earn more money than him. This can be a sore spot for men! Do you make him feel important enough in other ways?!”

[–]AshitagaFDS Newbie 98 points99 points100 points 5 years ago (17 children) | Copy Link

For those in manipulative relationships, it can be hard to acknowledge the abuse. That's why having the advice and perspective from trusted close friends and family is so important. However, the women in these relationships have to accept the reality in order to walk away, but often they have distorted views of their relationship due to all the manipulation and gaslighting.

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]EarthKveikFDS Apprentice 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Mine waited two whole years as a "friend" until I was completely isolated going through a really traumatic and difficult time both with my family and trying to get/keep work. This was partly down to untreated ADHD. I desperately needed an assessment, medication and psychological help, but that doesn't exist where I live if you have autism and no money.

So of course he stepped in... because he was so concerned and wanted to "support" me... and badger me into bed with him.

[–]AshitagaFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

I hope you're doing better now! Those men need to be kicked to the curb ASAP.

[–]EarthKveikFDS Apprentice 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Thanks, he's out my life now and it's much better for it.

[–]AshitagaFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I went through this with my ex...I'm glad we are now here on FDS and acknowledging that LVM and NVM have no place in our lives. We have to keep HV people around us to give good advice and encourage each other to be our best selves!

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (8 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple 30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link

I was emotionally and mentally abused by an NVM bf and not having any experience with that type of relationship and zero information about narcissism, I stayed because he had me believing I was the problem. The cognitive dissonance I felt was downright painful. My friends wanted to tell me he was an awful human but were “afraid” to do it at the time. After we broke up, they told me they saw how awful he treated me. I felt so relieved because he denied every single instance of abuse and called me crazy. If they’d told me then, I would’ve left.
I vote for going ahead and telling your girl friends that you are seeing something is wrong. Maybe she won’t act but maybe she is dying for validation and that will give her the courage to go.

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]CarpedictumFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

My best line is “Wow. You really deserve better...”

It isn’t a direct slam against the guy that she could argue. It isn’t calling her stupid for staying.

Variations like “Yeah... I don’t have any advice because none of that makes sense to me. You deserve better.” validate her feeling that something is off without stepping into the role of guru who knows best, which she would probably resist.

It also shuts down the complaining without being cruel. If someone is just looking to have a good whinge, that response isn’t very satisfying and they’ll go elsewhere.

[–]outgrabed-momerath 2 points3 points4 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Some tips I read ( I can't remember where) to help support a friend/relative in an abusive relationship:

-don't blame them or say things like, "Well that's what you get."

-when responding to a story, clarify their experience and give perspective, "I wouldn't like if someone was treating me that way, I would feel disrespected."

-sometimes people don't care enough about themselves to get out, but care enough about their kids or others being affected, so say, "What is going to happen to your kids' idea of a relationship when they see how you are treated?"

-listen and offer to be there. But it's okay to set boundaries for yourself such as, "I feel like I cannot listen to anymore stories where you are being hurt, but if you decide to leave, you have a place to stay with me."

[–]AshitagaFDS Newbie 1 point2 points3 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Honestly I started vetting friends too...I knew someone who entered a toxic relationship and I warned her beforehand. She didn't listen. She was also the type to never admit her mistakes and she couldn't take responsibility for her actions. The last straw was her mistreating a mutual friend. We had to slowly fade out that friendship...I think living a HV life includes HV friends too to be honest.

[–]AshitagaFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Yeah, I think that in many cases, those women feel in some part that they deserve the treatment they get or they don't want to leave the relationship. Sometimes it's about clinging to past good times. Also, we don't truly know what they are going through. We can just hope that they see the men for what they are and kick them to the curb.

[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie 6 points7 points8 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This is very true and an important, sometimes missed, point.

[–][deleted] 89 points90 points91 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

Forgot to put the “He’s a wonderful man and the love of my life” at the first 🙄🤢

[–]Amy3e13FDS Newbie 85 points86 points87 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

"And please don't tell me to break up with him. I need serious advice about my situation."

manbaby boyfriend starts screaming and cursing in the background after he lost a game on his ps5

"Strangely the ps5 I bought him for Christmas didn't help him with his depression. What more could I do?"

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]azureangel3552 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

that one makes me cringe every time

[–]SeaNegotiation8FDS Apprentice 71 points72 points73 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

How was he supposed to know you didn’t want him to have sex with your mother? Did you communicate with him? He’s not a mind reader, you know. s/

[–]relationship_redditFDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

My ex was seriously like that. Like, I had to tell him in detail every little thing that wasn't ok. He did many not ok things, including emotionally cheating on me and having women he had tried to be with before me on his social media, but he "thought he was being completely faithful to me" and didn't think he was doing anything wrong until I pointed each thing out, one by one, over the course of our relationship.

[–]husheveryoneFDS Apprentice 62 points63 points64 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

“...his balls stink, he drank all the Minute Maid Fruit Punch and put the carton back in the fridge...” 😭🤣😆 I’m deceased!

[–]Maude2010FDS Newbie 62 points63 points64 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

He spent our kids’ college fund on video games and Only Fans, but aside from that he’s perfect!

[–][deleted] 49 points50 points51 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

He's perfect in ever other way and I love him. Please don't tell me to break up with him. How do I get him to act like a decent human?... 🤡

[–]Mella_20 15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Ugh they always put an edit on the post saying "I'm not asking for advice on how to leave him".

[–]thedrunkcuteblondeFDS Newbie 66 points67 points68 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

This is the first time I can honestly say “it’s funny cuz it’s true”

It’s a mixture of frustration and sadness when I read these posts in relationship advice subs. Ughhhhh.

[–]weekend111FDS Newbie 34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I love him so much!!! But he [proceeds to list a bunch of absolutely awful stuff]…anyway, I really love him, what do I do?

[–]yggiwtmiihFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It really be like this though. 😬 The posts that show up in other subreddits have me feeling like I crossed over into an alternate universe. A lot of them are hard to read, especially after being used to the standard of self respect here on FDS.

[–]SewudFDS Apprentice 26 points27 points28 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

And men say "you must be liking it if you're staying with him". Have they never heard of love? We often love these men. The question these women are really asking is "should I leave someone that I love but who is terrible"? Maybe men don't love but only see what a person can do for them.

[–]oceanstains 19 points20 points21 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

iS hE ~dEpReSsEd~

[–]GoldandGlowingFDS Newbie 15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

It’s the empty juice carton in the fridge. My thirty year old basement-dwelling brother does has a lot of shitty behaviours but this is the one that takes the motherfucking cake. Agdhdjdjdh 🤬🤬🤬🤬

[–]MagnfiqueMaleficentFDS Disciple 13 points14 points15 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

“But our children deserve to grow up with their father in the home!”

[–]Equal-Ear2312FDS Apprentice 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

What should she do? Walk along the Great Wall. A month without him and she'll be ok. 5 more and she'll have figured the meaning of life. Another 5 and she could levitate.

[–]azureangel356 points 5 years ago [recovered] | Copy Link

It's so true tho. We are unstoppable when we put ourselves first.

[–]dreamer3213FDS Newbie 9 points10 points11 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Definitely not missing out on waking up with gut anxiety of knowing he’s cheating!

[–][deleted] 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[permanently deleted]

[–]RisoaFDS Apprentice 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

😂😂

[–]HumanAdhesiveness360FDS Newbie 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

I kNoW He StReEsEd oUt!

[–]suncolorFDS Newbie 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

RA in a nutshell for real.

[–]breadandbunnyFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

Holy fuck. I feel for anyone putting up with this kind of tragedy.

[–]rukia_kuchiki00Throwaway Account 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

r / relationship _ advice in a nutshell

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