Not here for almost relationships or situationships🙅

bananachka · 2020-05-26T14:42:45+00:00

Some men be really out here saying "I'm not ready for a relationship but i'll gladly do with you everything people do in relationships, except for committing" and god forbid if you get upset/mad at him talking/f*cking 5 other girls because "We ArE nOt In A rElAtIoNsHiP!!! ChIlL!!!" but if you do as little as look at another guy he will say "I thought you liked me?" and manipulate you.

If someone did not want a relationship he would not try to dangle the commitment carrot or put relationship ideas in your head. He would keep you as a friend and nothing more (suggesting FWB is cruel knowing the other person will agree because they like you and want any kind of closure).

stillcantsee · 2020-05-26T16:24:17+00:00

Exactly this!!

Last year I was dating a guy and had been very clear I’m slow to hop into bed and that it requires exclusivity. We went out a few times and he dropped the “not ready for a relationship” line and that he respected my goals and limits and didn’t want to waste my time by only offering me a ~casual~ thing.

Did it sting? Yeah, I liked him and wanted to date. BUT I did not stick around and try to convince him. Why would I want someone who isn’t on the same page? Why would I settle for less than the relationship structure I want? I may have liked him, but I like me and my self respect more.

We left it at that, no hard feelings on either side.

giftofnocondemnation · 2020-05-26T16:19:41+00:00

"I do not want to be expected to regard your feelings, or meet any of your needs, I just want to use you for sex"

galian84 · 2020-05-26T17:12:36+00:00

Yes, THIS, 100%.

I used to sit around foolishly waiting for them to come around, thinking that if I just did what they wanted or acted like the "perfect" girl, they would want to be in a relationship with me. In a twisted way, I saw it as a challenge...just didn't realize it was one where I lost, 99% of the time.

I've had plenty of guys do and say this when I was actively dating ("Let's see where this goes" "I'm not ready for a relationship", etc). Some had enough integrity not to string me along, but others were happy to keep me around for sex/validation/emotional support/free company, until they found the woman they really wanted. They feel like as long as they let you know their intentions, they're free to act however they want.

Ladies, men know whether they want to be with you or not pretty early on.

orangetuliip · 2020-05-26T16:05:45+00:00

Honestly wish my ex would have told me this. Instead I got the “I’m not sure what I want, let’s see where this goes”, which of course means the same thing, but is actually way worse in my opinion. Well, lesson learned!

whatisfunemployment · 2020-05-26T15:08:46+00:00

I so wish I had taken this to heart earlier. Don't be like me, ladies. He's either in it all the way or he's shown the door. Don't reward half-assed attempts to reap the benefits of your company without putting in the work.

Adept_Artichoke · 2020-05-26T21:08:51+00:00

[deleted]

Sreshme · 2020-05-26T20:50:29+00:00

This is a popular troupe used by men to keep us hanging and have all the benefits of a relationship served on a paper plate aka no commitment . Cuz duh He is not ready to buy an actual reusable plate aka commitment.

Us ladies will be trying to keep him hooked on us in a hope that he will like us but he ain’t gonna until you serve the food.

Serve your dishes for only who can afford to buy a plate!

I did this mistake not once but 4 times(#facepalm) Ladies learn from me. Don’t be like me.

I will make a post of my all 4 experiences which stem from low self esteem and how I am learning and healing sometime.

kirky500 · 2020-05-27T02:05:52+00:00

I say " Me either" then stop all.contact. lol

lillunaindica · 2020-05-26T21:06:13+00:00

Ufffffffff this is real talk

Quodpot · 2020-05-27T09:39:53+00:00

I'm in this situation with one of my friends rn. We're finally both single at the same time for the first time in the 6 years we've known each other. I kind of thought that when we met up again, maybe something more serious would happen (since we have always had really deep and stimulating conversations, I thought things were a bit deeper), but nope. He doesn't want to be 'distracted' from work, and he's 'too busy' to message me during the day (as if it takes more than a minute to send off a text). Instead, the only times he hits me up me is at like 10pm with the classic 'wyd', and my weak ass has caved twice now. Every time I see him, I really like spending time together, but tbh this kind of behavior is so juvenile

OrchidLion · 2020-05-27T23:25:12+00:00

Tbh it's not just with you, its with any woman. Fuckboys are fuckboys to everyone. This just makes women think "Well why not me, whats wrong with me, why am i not good enough"

flowerseveryday · 2020-05-26T17:40:16+00:00

Make it easy for yourself. If he's not in it 100% and chasing you and treating you like someone he loves and adores and wants to give the world to, then it's a non starter.

Title	Not here for almost relationships or situationships🙅
Author	bananachka
Upvotes	1871
Comments	89
Date	May 26, 2020 2:34 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/gqy5ll/not_here_for_almost_relationships_or/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/not-here-for-almost-relationships-or.701024 https://theredarchive.com/post/701024

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