PSA: A high value man will not be into BDSM.

BasieSkanks · 2022-04-25T09:04:15+00:00

Seems like one of the kinksters got triggered and crossposted it to one of their subreddits. FDS is strictly anti-kink, so writing essays about how wonderful it is that your partner gets off to beating you black and blue won't run here. Take it to your own spaces. Anyone who is pro-kink here will be banned.

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Im_Not_Honey · 2022-04-19T11:34:08+00:00

Can confirm. Every boyfriend I've had has been into that, and expected the same. I went along with it, because I thought it was normal. Spoiler alert, it's not. My husband has always been disgusted by that garbage. Porn actually kills his boner. And honestly, it should for any sane, respectable man.

I had a male family member swear that every man watches it, so i brought up that my husband doesn't watch it to prove a point. Let me tell you. He actually said "hEs LyiNg tO yOu". Low value scrotes can't even fathom that there are men out there who aren't on their little depraved bandwagon. "All men watch women getting beat to get off, their lying if they dont!" They can't even believe that a few men out there aren't twisted sh*tstains.

moonwalkermel · 2022-04-19T04:22:15+00:00

This this this and EXACTLY this!! I was blind to this even when I first started dating my new boyfriend recently. But HE had to show ME that it's just not the move. He showed me what vanilla sex was like for the very first time. For the very first time, I didn't have to "roll play", I didn't have to succumb to emotional or physical abuse to get him off, and he refused to do anything degrading or violent towards me. HE was the one telling ME "no" to the unhealthy stuff and reinforced positive and loving behavior that I should have been expecting from the get go. When all you've experienced in the past was LVM and abuse, you put yourself in an inadvertent Stockholm syndrome type of state. My current bf broke me out of that and is still continuing to negatively reinforce the toxic mindsets that I've developed and I'm still trying to heal from. I honestly couldn't have asked for a better man.

2022-04-19T05:02:49+00:00

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daisy_0720 · 2022-04-19T03:16:29+00:00

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Typical_Candle_5627 · 2022-04-19T06:02:01+00:00

“vanilla” sex doesn’t even have to unflavorful. honestly i feel like pr0nified sex is way more bland and unoriginal.

slow, sensual, connected, touching every inch and have me roiling on the edge of an orgasm sex is SO much better and more hot than basic-ass degrading pr0n moves. those feel like having sex with a horny teenager and it turns me off IMMEDIATELY.

WafflesTheDuck · 2022-04-19T02:58:34+00:00

It's super telling that their "kinks" are never things like taking us to nice dinners, making us orgasm first, or buying us flowers to fill a room. Their "kinks" are always, always, always, abuse or degradation. They want to hit us and for us to be OK with it.

TortaCetim · 2022-04-19T08:42:54+00:00

Honestly, I was stil in my pick-me days when I met my partner.

It was literally the first sexual relationship I've ever had, and since I'm a bit of an overthinker, I read A LOT of internet articles about how to do the deed.

So when we actually went to do it, I was 100% expecting some light kink stuff, because that was "cool" and "vanilla sex is boring".

I asked him to spank me and he looked at me completely confused, and gave me a pat on the shoulder.

He asked me something like "you cannot seriously be asking me to hurt you, right?"

And I have to admit that it kind of broke my brain for a second. Kink was supposed to be "the Cool™ way to have sex", it was not like he was going to hurt me, right?

But looking back now, Jesus Christ, I'm so glad to have found a normal human being instead of a BDSM creep. I was completely unprepared to deal with the latter, despite half the internet claiming that it's "the best sex ever".

We really need to stop the indoctrination of young girls into seeing themselves through the male gaze. I was just 19 at the time, and already felt like my place in bed was to focus on someone else's pleasure.

That isn't healthy, and I'm really glad I found FDS. It helped me navigate my relationship with a more discerning eye.

And despite the claims that "learning FDS will destroy your relationships!!!" vetting my partner just served to make me even more sure that I love him for being a great person — although now I can call him a "HVM".

highfunctioningcunt · 2022-04-19T03:16:20+00:00

not to mention how bdsm is something liberal feminism and the sex positivity movement prop up as something to live up to… that fifty shades of gray bullshit. like being slapped and choked in bed is liberating or something, and not literal gendered violence! and people trying to disguise these depraved and violent sex acts as loving… it’s disgusting!

queenofswordsxxx · 2022-04-19T03:40:50+00:00

I love to do the ‘gender flipping’ test to see if something is high value / makes sense for women-

Imagine men collectively as a whole, putting up with BDSM from women.. being like “she slaps my ass in bed and it means she loves me hurr dur”. Screeching “She needs this! She needs an outlet! She needs sexual variety!”; “BDSM is pleasurable for men because we have prostates!!”; “I want mommy/ insert name of celebrity to choke me” Etc.

It literally sounds so absurd. Men would never be willing to be ‘subs’ aka straight up abuse victims. They would never put their own pleasure on the back burner to please women.

I_know_right_AS_IF · 2022-04-19T07:24:42+00:00

Big difference between a firm grip and passionate lovemaking and choking, hitting, degrading, ABUSING.

Eventually my brain was like "wait, stimulated abuse is still abuse".

Most women who think they "like it rough" simply desire an assertive, passionate man. Not literal abuse. The shit in porn is depraved and literal grooming material. Even Billie eilish said it groomed her into accepting bad things in the bedroom. It literally is used to groom young minds to prime them for abuse and it ruins young men's (and any man's) mind by desensitizing them to violence, incest and pedophilia.

Precariously_Perched · 2022-04-19T04:42:17+00:00

Dear God the bar is in hell being used to clean Satan's buttcrack. The fact that so many women are willing to do bdsm to keep a scrote blows my mind.

millennialpink2000 · 2022-04-19T02:43:08+00:00

100%.

If he needs to physically harm you to make his pee pee excited, he is trash. Why would you WANT someone to hurt you in order to get off? Like, huh? If you removed the sex, it would be men casually abusing women.

The former friends I knew who were into this lifestyle were seriously in need of therapy, not being abused by a guy for his erection

redrighthand01 · 2022-04-19T04:24:24+00:00

Thank you for putting the spotlight on this. My nex would make me feel insane for not wanting to agree to vile bdsm acts. Often making me feel like a “prude”, I’m far from…

bellax247 · 2022-04-19T07:37:33+00:00

I believe this. The type of guys that are into it say it all. They are full of red flags like these.

apommom · 2022-04-19T11:32:16+00:00

A friend of mine recently made out with a guy who tried to slap her and choke her. Both of them still fully clothed. She said she had hooked up with this same guy years ago and he was nothing like that. It’s so disgusting how this has become normalized.

The_Cat_Empress · 2022-04-19T14:01:47+00:00

"Yes, I'm kinkshaming"

[standing ovation] 👏👏👏

fresipar · 2022-04-19T02:41:20+00:00

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Prof_green · 2022-04-19T03:56:47+00:00

So when these guys talk about BDSM, are they asking to be pegged???

Sigh…Well I’ve only got my 8incher and I’m out of lube…Grit your teeth my man

😂

2022-04-19T04:14:45+00:00

As someone who was very much into the thoughts and fantasies surrounding BDSM and kink (even at my young age) until recently, I can 100% tell you it is usually all attached to some form of trauma or depravity. The community will be very VERY hush hush when it comes to talking about such an important aspect, simply promoting it all as "fun ways to further excite your sex life." And even when they do talk about it, they will become very adamant on forcing the ideal that expressing trauma and violent thoughts through sex is completely okay so long as it is consensual. It is not okay. How could one think that reliving your trauma constantly (from the woman's perspective) and deriving sexual gratification from it is okay? And particularly for men, they are living out sick fantasies enticed by witnessing violence against women (i.e. dad abused mom growing up) or through thoughts conditioned by unhealthy porn.

NONE of that is okay. Healthy, loving partners never experience or have desires to experience such things with each other. Pretending like trauma and violence is okay only if expressed through sex just shows how much of a spiral the future generations are going down.

Thank you for bringing this up. Many kinks deserve to be called out for what they are.

marshmallow_bunnyx · 2022-04-19T04:22:51+00:00

I was very briefly involved in kink in my late teens-early 20’s when my (older, porn addicted) boyfriend pressured me into it. So I got to meet a few people in the scene and see what it’s like.

They always preach safe, sane and consensual; and play always stops when someone says the safe word.

It was just a weird coincidence tho that the majority of the dominant people dishing out punishment were men in their 30’s+ and the submissives being punished were pretty much all younger women (18- early 20’s, some even underage) who all had a previous history of trauma and abuse.

Ashamed-Reputation-2 · 2022-04-19T14:44:38+00:00

The whole concept of praisekink is so annoying and confusing. Why is saying nice, encouraging things to your partner during sex a kink ? That's the most vanilla shit ever, we need to reclaim it 😂

nevermindtoday6 · 2022-04-19T10:40:41+00:00

I actually consider it rape when a man springs BDSM or "rough sex" 🙄 onto a woman with 0 discussion of it, or at least sexual assault.

2022-04-19T17:45:13+00:00

Being turned on by hurting, degrading, humiliating, misogynistic language or roleplays, or power differentials is always 100% a red flag.

A good man shouldn't get horny at the thought of hurting you in anyway.

spinsterchachkies · 2022-04-20T01:21:35+00:00

IF YOU DONT DO ANAL YOU WILL NEVER FIND A MAN AND YOU WILL DIE ALONE WITH CATS - some scrote troll right now probably

insurrectionaryINTJ · 2022-04-19T04:49:40+00:00

I don't know a single guy who is into BDSM that I would call high-value. The men who were serious about me would not even dare suggest it, and if I tried to initiate it, would be uncomfortable with it.

Moira_Spice · 2022-04-19T20:55:22+00:00

Let's kinksgame hard. I agree with you. All those that cry reading this post, look up the cycle of abuse, that sounds familiar no? Care-after care cycle. It is toxic.

Why would a guy hit the one he loves? Is violence really a demonstration of love? You wouldn't hit your cat or dog, yet you do for your intimate partner. Nonsensical cognitive dissonance istg.

amal_bou · 2022-04-19T10:36:04+00:00

Honestly the way tiktok and the internet in general is glorifying and normalizing BDSM and kink culture is really sad for us as women and as a society

DreamlikeNile · 2022-04-19T14:34:16+00:00

Pervert shaming all the way!!! 🤟🤟🤟💕💕💕 Great post!!! xx

presentable_corpse · 2022-04-19T13:43:40+00:00

Sorry, cool girls, but it's true. If he's calling you his "bitch whore" while he's slapping/choking you, guess what? It's not an act. That's what you are to him. BDSM really should be shamed, no one's even trying to do it safely these days. No one's even taught the safety or aftercare parts, it's solely to degrade women now.

One of the first things my SO said to me about sex was that he doesn't want any violence or pain in it. "It's about both of us having a good time, there doesn't need to be pain involved."He shoos me away from his dick if it isn't clean and has literally said "let's be vanilla tonight" on more than one occasion.Missionary (and whatever it's called when I'm on top) does the job just fine.I can see why FDS says to wait for sex but how a man treats you in the bedroom is going to be very telling.

edit: thx for the random DM telling me being on top is cowgirl, I guess

dembar126 · 2022-04-19T04:53:50+00:00

Yess! Anyone who thinks passionate vanilla sex is "boring" is either brain damaged or pornsick 100% of the time.

What's actually boring is getting all your sexual knowledge from porn and needing to find a partner to be a real life stand in you can use to re-enact all the depraved garbage you've been consuming because you're too unimaginative and mentally stunted to come up with a way to fuck that actually makes women cum.

Resident_Coyote5406 · 2022-04-20T02:11:39+00:00

To be fair my ex was very passionate in bed and made eye contact but he was also cheating. He wasn’t into BDSM but still viewed women as sex objects. In short- all men are still bad 😂

But I do agree that there is something to be said of men who literally get off on abusing women. If you need “aftercare” after having sex that’s because it was traumatic and you are trauma bonded

yoghurtpotter · 2022-04-19T09:35:31+00:00

Here here. It's shocking how many people aggressively support BDSM on other dating subs, such as dating over thirty, where I am regularly accused of 'kink shaming' for saying that I am not into being abused in the bedroom

Typical_Candle_5627 · 2022-04-19T05:52:02+00:00

THIS THIS THIS.

NotMyRealName814 · 2022-04-19T05:58:41+00:00

Normalization of this kind of bullshit really pisses me off. These people are always screeching about how kink shaming is so bad. I plan to start pointedly asking them if kink shaming is a bad thing then why is vanilla shaming acceptable?

Another thing I'd like to mention tangiently to this -- I see a lot of song lyrics in today's popular music that glamorizes BDSM type stuff and choking, slapping, etc. I've noticed it in Doja Cat's songs, Latto and a few others. What is up with that bs? These are artists who purport to be feminists and strong women and they're going to normalize this nonsense? That makes it even harder to fight against. I wish they would think a bit more deeply about the messages these lyrics send to young women and men who buy their music.

pistachi0o0 · 2022-04-19T03:22:33+00:00

This post perfectly describes the man I just dated for 2 months. I thought he was intense because of his cultural background, a European thing. Then he started to show narc tendencies, I knew something was off but kept giving him benefit of doubt.

He seemed HVM because he “ticks the boxes” - 6ft tall, 6 pack, 6 figures and very attractive. Lol I was blinded. On the other hand, he:

comments on what I wear
called me cringey pet names very early on (lovebombing?)
only dates young Asian women
kept comparing me to his younger ex’s
wants to be exclusive by 3rd date (apparently I’m “weird” for not agreeing)
works in finance and very much into gaming lol 🚩

I found out through social media he was actually married and divorced and when I asked him about it he denied it.

Icing on cake: We never slept together. When he ended things with me he kept saying I’m the one who’s missing something THEN admitted he’s into BDSM.

Classic.

Certain-Year-5367 · 2022-04-19T06:49:54+00:00

This is so true, how is regular sex vanilla and wtf is wrong with vanilla, it’s plain but so what?

Let’s not forget the ones into fucked it role playing that will want the woman to be a dog and bark when they ask her to, can’t they see that the man is into animals and is using them as substitute?

2022-04-19T03:42:07+00:00

100% agreed!!!

If he wants to partake in BDSM, threesomes, public sex, pornography, or any other type of kinky sex then he is LV and you need to kick him out

OutlandishnessOk · 2022-04-19T02:56:23+00:00

I absolutely can't fathom how anyone thinks it's okay for bdsm to be so prominent. Vanilla sex IS the best, but it's another thing men just can't be bothered to do well. They can't arouse women sexually so they have to manufacture a different kind of arousal.

And if it were just about kinks, there would be more variation. I'd be down for prostate stuff and playing dress up, but nope, it's not really about kinks or novelty, it's just about violence.

frostedgemstone · 2022-04-19T04:57:54+00:00

We need to bring kinkshaming back lol

4foot11 · 2022-04-20T06:14:59+00:00

Porn has ruined sex for both men and women

cocopuff678124 · 2022-04-19T21:27:20+00:00

Ugh it reminds me of that movie "50 shades of grey" and I actually didn't like christian he creeped me the hell out

vitryolic · 2022-04-21T23:08:47+00:00

LVM use kink as a tactic to vet insecure and vulnerable women. They push your boundaries in the bedroom under the guise of “kink”, to assess how they can push your boundaries in life. An abusive man in the bedroom is showing you what he really thinks of you and women.

Kink is an unhealthy coping mechanism for trauma, abuse, and porn sickness, for those who aren’t ready or willing to invest in real therapy. Let them raise their big red kinky flags and run while you still can! 🚩☠️

Geocities_SEO_Expert · 2022-04-19T04:18:16+00:00

And even if a HVM could be interested in a violence fetish, he wouldn't be using regular dating websites to try and ensnare women who don't share the fetish. Fetish websites are as old as the public internet, that's where men looking for fetish sex belong. When they creep off of them, they're up to no good.

BuoyantSeaTurtle · 2022-04-19T03:04:33+00:00

My interpretation of kink shaming as a bad thing is when it’s something that doesn’t involve harming or humiliating a person. Like the “furry” kink is weird to me, but if two people enjoy dressing up and fucking, then it’s not my place to judge that.

If somebody is pressuring their partner into accepting harmful behavior under the guise of a “sexual kink”, that’s when it becomes immoral in my opinion. I cannot imagine a man who loves me actually wanting to choke me during sex. Or spit on me. Or hit me. Why would you want to do that to somebody you love and cherish?

2022-04-19T22:33:22+00:00

This speaks to me in such an embarrassing way. I’ve created this alt after seeing this post and a little over a year getting…disentangled from that “community”. God, just looking back now to some of the things. Like the concept of “after care” where you basically just mess with someone’s mind to make them think they enjoyed the painful shit. I remember reading a report that said that your body and mind react to trauma the same way whether “consensual” or not. It was that idea that started me away from this stuff. Posts and places like this have validated I wasn’t some prude or whatever, which I got to hear a lot of while trying to pull away. Thank you.

StrawberryMoon3 · 2022-04-20T12:25:43+00:00

Bdsm is for degenerates. Getting off on someone's pain or being abused is not normal

AutoModerator · 2022-04-19T02:38:08+00:00

NOTE: Please refer to the FDS Handbook for more discussion on why FDS does not support BDSM or other abuse-themed kinks and what kinds of men gravitate toward abuse kinks.

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AutoModerator · 2022-04-19T02:38:08+00:00

NOTE: This sub does NOT support the commercial porn industry, as it is an institution that promotes and normalizes sexual aggression, incest, pedophilia, violence, racism, degradation, low sexual satisfaction, and objectification of women and girls, many of whom have been drugged, raped, misled, trafficked and otherwise coerced to appear on film.

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DreamlikeNile · 2022-07-15T20:36:47+00:00

Kink 👏 shaming 👏 all 👏 the 👏 way! Amen sister!

Wanting to abuse you in bed and / or out of it is a massive red flag!

2022-06-07T18:59:46+00:00

This post is literally just defining the fact that people cannot come to terms but everyone is completely different and that abuse is not consensual because if it was consensual it would not be abuse

Dawg5700 · 2022-06-10T13:39:18+00:00

Yee nah never been able ta get hard ta women gettin beat with whips & spit on makes me feel dirty watchin it

lordmurdery · 2022-06-16T14:49:20+00:00

A man who truly cares about you will WANT to make eye contact. He will WANT to pleasure you, asking how you’re feeling from time to time. His pleasure will always come second. In contrast, a man who sees you as a human fleshlight will want to degrade you under the guise as kink. These men will call you a prude if you don’t “consent” to their demands. They will call you uptight for expecting “vanilla” sex.

I'm asking this as genuinely as I possibly can: Does this sub, broadly speaking, honestly believe that men who enjoy hair pulling, spanking, and/or various other "bdsm" acts cannot enjoy looking their female partner in the eye, putting her pleasure before his own, or ask how she's feeling regularly during sex? Are these concepts mutually exclusive to you?

oimaddie · 2022-06-29T06:55:49+00:00

quick question, but before I ask I completely understand why this would not be okay and how BDSM can be very uncomfortable to many people! but my question is how do you feel about it when both parties are interested in participating in bdsm, but one person is only comfortable to a certain extent? (Sorry if this is explained weirdly) I ask because in my situation, the person I am talking to doesn’t understand that I’m not comfortable with what he’s wanting to do and he keeps bringing up that since I’m into bdsm then I should allow him to do what’s typical in bdsm. He’s not wrong technically, but again I’m not comfortable. Telling him repeatedly that I’m not going to let him do so is causing us to have issues. I’m thinking about leaving him but apparently I’m overreacting :/

THEomarJoey · 2022-08-08T17:52:59+00:00

Hi, I'm a man, can I please get banned, thanks

Rexius_ · 2022-08-09T13:07:39+00:00

Apparently women asking me to choke them makes me a low value, abusive man. Something I never even mention unless the woman does first. I’m assuming I’m even worse when the women ask me to slap their ass?

Totally being logically here. No flaws in this what-so-ever. Definitely no women out there that genuinely enjoy that type of sex. 🙄

Xephyrik · 2022-08-09T16:55:56+00:00

My gf wanted to do bdsm with me but I never decided to do it cause we do other fun stuff anyways. Lots of women like doing kinky shit, sorry yall feel bad about being boring

Nifan-Stuff · 2022-10-11T04:26:14+00:00

Is really simple really, a man that is into slapping, hitting and choking women is a man who enjoys hurting woman. This isn't about trying to control women's bodies, is about questioning men and their behavior.

Squeeky_Sushi · 2022-04-20T19:49:59+00:00

I have a boyfriend that is into bondage but he actually puts me first before his desires, he doesnt want to hurt me, and if doing bondage with him hurts me, he won't do it, he isn't forcing me or whatever, because he actually respects this thing called consent

Simone88998 · 2022-06-29T20:09:41+00:00

I understand the stigma around it. But BDSM is NOT about having an excuse to beat your partner. If you don't like it, completely fine and great even that you recognize it! With that being said, if you asked a professional BDSM dom/sub or whatever, you would find that consent is everything. And they take immense measures to make sure that everyone involved are comfortable and happy. People definitely abuse this and will think that if they disguise it as BDSM they will get away with treating you poorly. So please do read into BDSM and kinks, if anyone is degrading you and hurting you without your enthusiastic consent then it's assault. Also, No one is "low value" because they're into BDSM or any type of kink(s). Just like it shouldn't be looked down upon just because you prefer "vanilla" sex.

TakumiThePheonix · 2022-08-22T16:52:17+00:00

I am literally the one who brought it up to my boyfriend, what do you mean it's not consensual. He knows that I am fine with vanilla sex as well but we both prefer this lifestyle. Also, its not all about sex. Sometimes people just need some help with control. Sex isn't everything, bdsm can be consensual, and I don't even know any girls who like plain vanilla sex. They all have some sort of kink, especially choking

Bagthumbler88 · 2022-09-03T10:37:14+00:00

This is confusing. Women can be into BDSM and domination too. And men sometimes like to be on the receiving end of it. Just say you don’t understand everyone’s sexual desires…

2022-04-19T14:59:38+00:00

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2022-04-24T14:32:45+00:00

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ThePatriarchyIsTrash · 2022-06-14T04:29:35+00:00

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suli_abba · 2022-06-14T15:10:14+00:00

Does this mean a high value woman’s pleasure will come second?

2022-07-12T03:43:30+00:00

What?! I am in a long term committed relationship. She is very happy. I enjoy bdsm and misogyny as a kink with a CONSENTING partner. That would mean that the women I play with choose this. Shouldn't women have the right to choose the sex acts they participate in?

psychotapir · 2022-07-28T14:52:23+00:00

Is the inverse of this also true? I'm a man, but BDSM has always made me very uncomfortable. I get the majority of enjoyment during sex from pleasing my partner, but my current girlfriend is really into BDSM. She always asks me to choke her or hit her or say degrading things to her during sex, and I'll do it because it pleases her, but I get no intrinsic enjoyment out of it. Is this a red flag, or something to be concerned of?

Niemand1337 · 2022-08-08T19:34:44+00:00

Same

Seasonal_Lag · 2022-08-08T19:52:53+00:00

Ban all these men my fellow ladies like the goddesses we are. #hatemen #lovetheute #queenlife

/s I'm a man, ban me

Minkstix · 2022-08-08T20:17:48+00:00

Oh, so this is where Reddit trash is gathered. Stay here 👌

Jessicat_8 · 2022-08-09T00:43:28+00:00

🤦‍♀️

anonymous2458 · 2022-08-09T14:52:55+00:00

As a man, I hated the thought of any degradation to women or bdsm sex in the like. Until I got my current girlfriend… she practically begged me for a year to partake in some light bdsm, stuff like light choking/hair pulling/slapping. Now I like it but the only reason why I enjoy it is because SHE ENJOYS IT.

Cemetery_Thing · 2022-08-12T18:11:53+00:00

Lmfaoooo

Nomadic_Inferno · 2022-08-22T17:27:59+00:00

Let me preface with this: if the men act like the ones you describe, then I COMPLETELY agree, they're in the wrong. The right partner will be loving, considerate, and VERY respectful of your limits and boundaries, with no coercion or endless pleading after you've already refused. That's something we can agree on.

Oh, and if you don't share kinks with your partner, of course it's going to be a bad matchup! I would never suggest for anyone who isn't into BDSM to stay with a partner who insists on it.

However, I have a few problems with this post.

Firstly, the title implies that all men who are into BDSM aren't worth your time, but in the post you seem to be assuming all men are doms, and don't say a word about subs. If anything, that itself is a misogynist assumption, the fact that you don't even consider that a woman could be the dominant partner.

Secondly, you're going into this with the assumption that BDSM is exclusively degrading and/or painplay, but that's just a small and overrepresented subset of it. BDSM can be gentle and loving, you can ask your partner how they're feeling, and it's not rape if you're doing it properly. The majority of BDSM and its community is being very careful with consent, arguably more careful than people are in vanilla sex- for instance, the red-yellow-green system of safewords. You say green if you're good to go, yellow if you need a break to discuss changes, and red if you need the scene to stop immediately, right then and there, that second. If a man doesn't agree with this, then I completely agree, that's a red flag right there.

Also, if you're doing it right, then aftercare is also a huge part of it, even after the most harsh scene, both partners will be very loving and considerate.

Though I do agree that some people who're into this stuff should probably seek therapy lol. Some folks I know've got real issues. Depends on the person, though, it's a real case-by-case basis, like everything is.

2022-08-25T18:56:56+00:00

This is the one thing I can’t get behind.

missradfem · 2022-10-07T04:04:32+00:00

This whole thread is kind of mind blowing for me. I hate this society. I need to do more deprogramming....

PSA: A high value man will not be into BDSM.

Comments

SHAMEMEN2022

Title	PSA: A high value man will not be into BDSM.
Author	electroloop
Upvotes	1297
Comments	228
Date	April 19, 2022 2:38 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/u6uj1c/psa_a_high_value_man_will_not_be_into_bdsm/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/psa-a-high-value-man-will-not-be-into-bdsm.1112113 https://theredarchive.com/post/1112113