Content of post:

An experiment in being unapologetically direct

I (37f) took a couple of years off dating. When I decided I was ready to date again, I decided to try a new experiment. I am going to be unapologetically direct with all of my dates. Here are my experiences so far.

Date 1: matched on tinder. Chatted throughout the day, I asked him to meet for drinks that night. No chemistry. I texted him after and told him I wasn't feeling it. He thanked me for being honest.

Date 2: matched on tinder, I asked him out. We hit it off. After we parted ways I texted him to see if he was feeling it. He said yes. I asked him if he wanted to come over and make out with me later in the week. He said yes, we did. We have another date set up for Friday

Date 3: matched on tinder. Meeting up Saturday. I asked him out for a specific date and time after about 2 days of light chatting.

My point is this ladies: If you match with someone and like them, ask them out. That day. Or that week. Don't wait. And if you don't want to see them again after, tell them. If you want to see them again, ask them out again. I will no longer subscribe to the game playing. I call bullshit on waiting for the man to run the show. If I want something, I'm going to go get it and I'm not going to sit in bed waiting for that text to come to me.

Honestly men have no idea what they're supposed to do anymore. If they show interest too soon, they're "too eager and just want sex" if they wait too long they're "not serious about me and just a pen pal" Let's remove the mystery for them by telling them what we want and taking the initiative.

Do you know what men understand? Direct questions. "Do you want to go to drinks Saturday at 5" or "Do you want to get day drunk and makeout Friday at 2." Yes or no. That's it.

And then here's the other half of the equation- if it's a yes, great. If it's a no, silence, excuses or hesitation MOVE ON. I'm not saying I'm a dating expert, but this has removed all dating anxiety for me. Good luck out there friends.

Of course all the men are saying "you go girl!” because it makes their job easier. We know that we can get a date with an average guy because they do not usually get hit on or asked out. It's not rocket science that you would get easy dates that way. But this woman has not come across anything that will necessarily help her find a long term relationship. She's just making it easier to date/have sex with LVMs and if she meets a great guy it'll be based off pure luck. It's really quite sad to see people falling for these traps! Men who do not initiate in the early stages are less likely to really want to be with you and you'll pay for it later.

Edit: She later, deep in the comments, said that she was currently not looking for a serious or monogamous relationship. Her posting that without that critical info is doing a huge disservice to the majority of women on that sub who do want a long term relationship. And even so, it still shocks me that she thinks she's happened upon some great discovery. Facepalm.