Two men casually threatened to kill me

onlyeightfingers · 2021-07-11T02:07:05+00:00

I struggle to think of a bigger red flag than a man who gets off on his partner being afraid of him. I’m so glad you got out of these.

pickmieshaexorcist · 2021-07-11T02:08:03+00:00

That’s fucking terrifying. If they’re speaking it, they’re thinking about it.

throwaway23er56uz · 2021-07-11T07:35:57+00:00

"When someone shows you who they are, believe them." (Maya Angelou)

"Women have very little idea of how much men hate them." (Germaine Greer)

ColgateLasagne · 2021-07-11T02:44:03+00:00

“Be afraid.” What a fucking psychopath. I’m glad your ok after dating those 2 psychos.

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2021-07-11T01:58:20+00:00

A lot of these men really fucking hate women and they wish they could kill them.

shockingupdate · 2021-07-11T05:02:18+00:00

How are they expecting this to go? These men clearly don’t want to actually date us when they bring us to remote places and threaten us for fun, so what’s the goal? Is it seriously just to get off on frightening a woman? Even if they’re, ugh…_successful_…after she leaves the situation does he just…sit there in his car and fantastize about how, instead of forming a healthy bond with a woman, he got her to despise him instead? Is that really, truly, honestly the goal here? Because that’s fucking pathetic.

modernmedusaa · 2021-07-11T05:43:21+00:00

You need to read the gift of fear.

This isn’t remotely normal behaviour.

Ambitious_Cup5774 · 2021-07-11T02:07:09+00:00

There have been times in relationships with men and male friends, where they took me to weird places or walks that lasted way too long. Looking back, I think they were almost testing out to see if their fantasy of harming me would work out. I'm so thankful that nothing happened, but the vibes were way off in those situations.

glowmilk · 2021-07-11T09:25:15+00:00

This is so fucked up and really really scary. The fact that they actually admitted it so casually freaks me out even more.

I’m so sorry you had to experience that. I don’t even know what I’d do in those situations myself, considering you were in locations where they could’ve really killed you if they acted on those desires. Like, would making up an excuse to leave get me killed, or would it be better to stay and pretend to be fine for the rest of the date? I really don’t know how I’d have played it. I’m so glad you survived.

MarleySB · 2021-07-11T05:01:29+00:00

Christ! What is wrong with people?? I’m glad they’re exes.

katiekat0214 · 2021-07-11T13:55:00+00:00

When I've suspected this in the past, not necessarily of a date, but more specifically with men I've worked with or seen regularly in some capacity (and gotten weird/off vibes from), I generally tend to make them out themselves. I wondered why this seemed so familiar. I bait them, and make them expose themselves.

It's very simple: just ask questions, and gently mock what they say. Quite often, just saying, "Oh, really?" with a smirk is enough to make them out themselves. Deliberately not "getting" a misogynistic comment, and making them explain it, will make them have that dead look in their eyes as they simmer in anger and resentment. Saying "So what you're really saying is..." then breaking it down bluntly is a good tactic as well, so long as it's not deliberately misreading, and the interpretation you put forth could be true.

If that doesn't do it, and you can pull it off, simply opining about a subject on which you are hands-down a master with experience is quite enough to make them out their hatred of women. Better if done in a public setting, too. And even if they don't say anything, turning away, crossing their arms, eye rolling, huffing, etc. are all dead giveaways to how they actually feel.

Then you have your answer as to what kind of person they are. From then on, you can keep the relationship strictly professional and speak to them only as needed, and if socially, just blank them and drop them. It's sad to me how easy it is to vet people just by asking questions and letting them show you themselves.

aplaceformythoughtss · 2021-07-11T12:59:47+00:00

That is terrifying. I’m not quite sure how I would have acted on that scenario but those men definitely exposed themselves as abusive partners. Men having sadistic fetishises is a lot more common than you think and the scary thing is we don’t know what they are thinking..

K0rla · 2021-07-11T10:15:40+00:00

Horrifying. I’m so so glad you were not harmed and are now aware that these comments are intolerable.

Winnie6 · 2021-07-11T03:49:28+00:00

Omg! That is shocking! Have incels been talked to like that by women? I think not.

Angry-Asian-Goddess · 2021-07-11T07:50:50+00:00

Oh my God, this happened to one of my friends on her Hinge date. They were sitting on a rooftop and this dude goes, "You know I can rape you right now and know one will be able to hear you, right?" Yeah she got the fuck out of there asap.

NuclearAnna · 2021-07-11T10:11:01+00:00

Ex once told me he could throw me out of window (we were standing near open one).

With cold voice I just replied something like "Don't. Eventually you would go to jail and you wouldn't like being there."

Then screamed at me that I am crazy and psycho and he was just joking. Yeah, sure, I was the crazy one.

Big-Respond8481 · 2021-07-11T12:05:55+00:00

How can they possibly think a woman would stay with someone who says that. They just want to instill fear in you and make you uncomfortable for their fun, gross.

Fiebre · 2021-07-11T03:16:30+00:00

A friend of mine told me a similar story. I knew the guy she was dating and he's just incredibly non-boyfriend material, so I was shocked that girl (super well-educated and intelligent, kind, very beautiful conventionally, not just pretty, etc etc) even looked his way. They were walking in the woods (forgot why, still creepy) and he said something like "I've been off my meds for a while, I could kill and bury you right here and no one would ever know". The girl was still on and off with that guy when telling me the story.

christmasforoutlaws · 2021-07-11T14:42:09+00:00

One of the last straws in my marriage was the day my husband decided to watch Fargo. I guess there's a scene where someone gets murdered? Idk, I've never watched it and I didn't have glasses at the time so I wasn't sure what was happening on screen. My ex-husband decided to pause the show after that scene happened and tell me in gratuitous detail how he would murder me and dispose of my body if he ever felt inclined to do so. It was completely unprovoked. I had been puttering around cleaning the house and he called me over to tell me this.

I lost my shit on him. It was perhaps one of the first times that I actually yelled at him. I told him that he was fucked in the head to even think about this kind of stuff and that it was completely unacceptable to talk to his wife (who grew up in an abusive household and was nearly murdered as a child) in that manner. He got upset and sulky because "iT'S jUsT A jOkE!!!!!"

Basically the fight lasted several hours because "I was making him feel like a bad person." Apparently it never occurred to him that good people do not make jokes about killing their wives.

I honestly do believe that if I hadn't gotten out when I did that he probably would have killed me. At the very least he would have beaten me.

randomgirlimok · 2021-07-11T16:57:51+00:00

Never once have I been alone with someone whose company I enjoyed and thought “I could get away with murdering them right now.” This is PSYCHO.

TrixieFriganza · 2021-07-11T09:09:37+00:00

Wow that's so extremely creepy that they instantly think about murder of the person they are supposed to love. There must be something wrong with the head of most men, this clearly is psychopathy, No normal person thinks about stuff like this about their partner. Really feels like best to stay away from men if you want to live. So sorry you had to go through this twice.

Any_Indication_2754 · 2021-07-11T07:16:19+00:00

This is like negging but worse. We should come up with a word for it so its more recognizable to flag as shi* behavior.

SpectralCadence · 2021-07-11T17:10:20+00:00

This is deeply disturbing. Just a couple days ago I saw this picture of a woman who went on a hiking trip - her boyfriend killed her soon after that photo was taken. Ugh

hoedownturnup · 2021-07-11T07:01:30+00:00

If these two are thinking it and saying it, I wonder how many are thinking it but aren’t stupid enough to say it.

Title	Two men casually threatened to kill me
Author	mamnebaneta
Upvotes	353
Comments	56
Date	July 11, 2021 1:46 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/ohvh11/two_men_casually_threatened_to_kill_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/two-men-casually-threatened-to-kill-me.791295 https://theredarchive.com/post/791295

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