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[–]IAmGoingToBeBetterFDS Newbie 418 points419 points420 points 5 years ago (24 children) | Copy Link
I was talking to a girl online (Lesbian here).We meet up. We get halfway through the date, she says she wants me to meet someone. Comes back with her boyfriend. They get agitated because no I am not interested in a threesome. I thought this would never happen to me with how careful I am, but here we are.
[–]jargon_explosionFDS Newbie 141 points142 points143 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
Wow in the middle of a date?! I've had it happen at clubs, dance with a woman, she lives for a split minute, comes back with some ugly ass man. But a date, just wow.
That makes it feel even more like some sort of pimping out arrangement or where the women are essentially recruiters for men to get lesbians. Gross in any event. I'm sorry that happened to you.
[–]Starsuponstars 85 points86 points87 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This is exactly what it is. The couple is using the woman as bait. Hopefully they're just creeps and not serial killers.
[–]i2aminspiredFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Or sex traffickers.
[–]IAmGoingToBeBetterFDS Newbie 34 points35 points36 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Thanks. They’ve been getting bolder and it’s scary.
[–]IgetUsernameScrapsFDS Newbie 180 points181 points182 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
What a bait-and-switch! Did they tell you he was only gonna watch, or maybe even put “just the tip in?” 😖
[–]IAmGoingToBeBetterFDS Newbie 92 points93 points94 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
They said he was gonna watch. I said no because this isn’t happening. And even if it was and he wasn’t there, prove to me there weren’t cameras set up at the house or that he wasn’t gonna come in anyways.
[–]IgetUsernameScrapsFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Wow I didn’t even think about cameras! Yeah you can’t be too careful. I wonder if the girl was even bi or just tHe CoOlEsT cOoL giRl. 🤡
[–]CSardothien_1FDS Newbie 112 points113 points114 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Ugh why is this behavior so common? It’s such a blatant form of disrespect on so many levels...
[–]MissKinkykittykatFDS Newbie 49 points50 points51 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Wow, that's next level. What creeps!!
Everytime I've used online dating and spoken to beautiful women, they'll always reveal their swamp monster boyfriend seeking a threesome. No thanks.
I'm bisexual. If I wanted a threesome, I wouldn't remotely need online dating.
[–]IAmGoingToBeBetterFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They’re so freaking gorgeous and yet their boyfriends look like thumbs. Like, why the hell would my cute ass want to have anything to do with that? 🤢
[–]nostradamusapologistFDS Newbie 71 points72 points73 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This has happened to me too!
I’m sorry. Just be warned, they’re getting bolder.
[–]pascalinesFDS Newbie 70 points71 points72 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
This has happened to me too, Jesus.
I’m sorry. It’s a fucked up world we live in, they’re getting bolder.
[–]HoldingMoonlightFDS Newbie 64 points65 points66 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
Fellow lesbian here, and holy shit. I'm so sorry this happened to you. I can't believe another woman would throw you under the bus like that, it's so not cool.
Granted, people can always lie, but I have a pretty hard rule that I just don't date bisexual women. In part for reasons like this... but mostly because I just can't relate to the attraction to men.
[–]IAmGoingToBeBetterFDS Newbie 49 points50 points51 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
They’ve been getting bolder and quite honestly it hurts. Like I sit here and I think I’m safe from men on dates at least as a lesbian and then I find out I’m not. Like I don’t understand how she could throw me under the bus. I even state on my profile: No threesomes. I am not a unicorn. I don’t want to be your third. And yet it still happens.
[–]HoldingMoonlightFDS Newbie 30 points31 points32 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
I hope you got out of there okay. That's definitely a situation where I'd recommend "going to the bathroom" and just never returning.
Not your fault at all, and the onus isn't on you to "not get tricked" - it's their fault for being crappy people. But it for sure demonstrates why extra vetting is so beneficial for us. Truthfully, I'm guilty of falling into the mindset that other women are "safer" to meet up with, but that just isn't the damn case sometimes...
[–]IAmGoingToBeBetterFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I didn’t use the bathroom excuse. I just got up and left. I don’t have time for bullshit anymore.
I just don’t know how much more I can vet. I asked if she was single, there were no signs of a boyfriend, she assured me there was no boyfriend and yet I was still blindsided.
[–]gringodemierdaFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Holy crap no way, something like this happened to me! I’m bisexual but I was only interested in dating women at the time. I was chatting with this girl from tinder for a week before we went on a real date. Unbeknownst to me, she shows up bringing along her straight couple friends. Whole time, the girl I was talking to barely would even speak to me, kept pushing me to talk more to her friends. They were very pushy and kept over complimenting me, asking if I ever slept with a guy before. I’m obviously confused what the fuck that has to do with me. I pull the girl aside to confront her about bringing me out just to waste my time and she said, she’s not looking to date anyone, but her friends are looking for a third. She brought me out JUST to try to pimp me out to her friends! 🤦🏾♀️ Makes me wonder how many other girls shes tried that on.
[–]IAmGoingToBeBetterFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
That is absolutely crazy that she tried to pimp you out to another couple! I think that makes it worse. Like what was her thought process?!
[–][deleted] 534 points535 points536 points 5 years ago (9 children) | Copy Link
Imagine not being cognizant of this lol
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice 66 points67 points68 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Male privilege.
[–]PahapanFDS Disciple 319 points320 points321 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
It's a lot like how a ton of white people refuse to acknowledge the systemic racism that runs rampant in the US. It's something white people have had the privilege of never having to experience, witness, or think about, so as far as a lot of us are concerned it either doesn't exist or couldn't possibly be as bad as people say (otherwise surely we'd have heard about it!). Nevermind that slavery wasn't actually criminalized in the US until December of 1941 when they actually bothered to start prosecuting the people forcing the """unfree labor""" that was STILL OCCURING in the south (and which arguably still exists to this day and disproportionately targets Black people because we never actually outlawed slavery as punishment for crime and we just """coincidentally""" incarcerate more Black people). A lot of people have no idea why Biden ordering the termination of federal private prison contracts is such a big deal.
The layers of privilege in this country and their accompanying levels of willful ignorance is a fucking trip. And white men are the most deceitfully obtuse assholes of all. We all grow up hearing story after story after fucking story in the news, in our communities, of women being raped, brutalized, and murdered and men still have the audacity to act like they never noticed how threatened we are.
[–]Emergency-Feed8216FDS Apprentice 47 points48 points49 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Very excited about the move against private prisons. So many bad policies and so much bad legislation will lose teeth if the private prison system ends. What might remain are ways the private prison system has managed to branch out, like private juvenile detention, private juvenile psychiatric gulags, and for-profit foster care and adoption that use the state to traffic children. For-profit hospice care is beyond terrifying.
[–]delawenFDS Newbie 75 points76 points77 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
The layers of privilege in this country
Just want to add: worldwide. Maybe racism is not as big in other countries, but they will have other issues (hate based on religion, for example).
[–]SimilarGiftFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
lmao yes!!! I mean... I'm all for men slowly learning about our reality but also at the same time it's not our job to educate men on our issues.... go read a book or an article instead of consulting your female friends 💀
[–][deleted] 294 points295 points296 points 5 years ago (6 children) | Copy Link
I've heard many times that a man's worst fear about his date is that she's fat, whereas a woman's worst fear of her date is that he is a serial killer.
There you go. That's how fucked up it is when it comes to what men "deal" with vs what women deal with when it comes to the opposite sex. Men fear that she's ugly while women fear for their fucking life.
[–]DallasM19FDS Newbie 122 points123 points124 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
"she might use me for dinner"
"He might assault me, sexually or otherwise and I'll have to deal with the ptsd for the rest of my life."
Yeah. Not the same.
You're so right though. They're so scared that we don't look like our pictures while we're worried that he might be dangerous. There's too many "home dates" because of covid. Not only is this the lowest effort ever, but how out of touch are you to not see how that would be problematic and unsafe for a woman?? I think they do know, I just think they don't care. They'll find someone else to come over to their place, while she brings her own bottle of wine, so he can coerce her into sex. It's digusting.
[–]relationship_redditFDS Newbie 52 points53 points54 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
The being used for dinner thing is so silly. You just know men that think that way are the type to take their date to some cheap chain restaurant anyway. Like, yeah, bud. I'm sure the $20 you spent on her enchilada plate and iced tea really broke the bank. How will you ever recover from this financial devastation?
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice 43 points44 points45 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
It's amazing women bother to date at all.
[–]i2aminspiredFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's no wonder a lot of women have decided that 2021 will be the year of no dating.
[–]disillusionedidealsFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I've come to that conclusion myself as well. There are way too risks involved with dating these days. You don't want to worry that you may end up as a statistic or a Dateline story if you decide to take the chance of dating someone. There's way too much unstable and cruel people out there. I've seen some of the messages men send to women online and they can get hostile and nasty. It's just not worth it.
[–]mongoosebicycleFDS Newbie 169 points170 points171 points 5 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link
My worst case is we fall in love and he then wastes years of my life trapping me in abuse. All three of my rapes were way easier than that. Of course getting killed would be worse but sometimes I wonder.
[–]chateauduchatFDS Newbie 46 points47 points48 points 5 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link
I’m sorry that happened to you. Many hugs 💕 I was assaulted once and that was an awful experience, but nothing was worse than when experienced the most abusive relationship in my life from a narc.
[–][deleted] 28 points29 points30 points 5 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link
I feel you. I have experienced both rape and emotional abuse from a soulless narc. The emotional abuse was harder to move past. A lot harder.
[–]chateauduchatFDS Newbie 17 points18 points19 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I’m so sorry sis. It breaks my heart to know so many women have gone through these things. Both are awful absolutely. The kind of therapy I required was different for both, but for me personally the emotional and spiritually healing is something that is wretchedly hard to repair and I’m still undergoing through it for dealing with the trauma of narc abuse. Sending tons of love your way.
[–][deleted] 7 points8 points9 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
What kind of therapy did you get for the emotional abuse? I’ve tried all kinds, and nothing is helping
[–]PahapanFDS Disciple 378 points379 points380 points 5 years ago (16 children) | Copy Link
It's so depressing talking about my experiences on Reddit (outside the protective enclave of FDS), having been molested as a child and sexually abused by every man I've been intimate with in adulthood, only to receive a barrage of "nOt AlL mEn!!!" if I dare to insinuate whatsoever that there's a worldwide problem with a good majority of men. Imagine having your head so far up your own ass that you think a woman encountering predator after predator makes her a mythical statistical outlier (despite the countless women who've experienced the same), and failing to realize you're part of the problem when you won't even entertain the notion that yeah, all these cultures with super misogynistic, patriarchal histories haven't magically become safe for women in the cosmic nanosecond of the past 50-100 years. We used to be literal property. It used to be legal for our husbands to beat us. It wasn't until 1993 that marital rape was criminalized nationwide.
They're fucking delusional.
[–]dembar126FDS Newbie 228 points229 points230 points 5 years ago (10 children) | Copy Link
for all of human history women are seen as literal property, broodmares and sex slaves, we've only had basic rights for less than a few decades
Men: "A TINY minority of men are rapists, stop generalizing. Misogyny doesn't exist anymore, get over it. Feminism is cancer!"
[–]LilithWonRuthless Strategist 199 points200 points201 points 5 years ago* (4 children) | Copy Link
Oh my personal favorite is "if ALL the men in your life turned out to be trash, then maybe you're the problem"
Like OH GEE THANKS JEREMY. Why hadn't I thought of that? Clearly, the only reason I meet trash men is because I'm trash.
Definitely not a convenient, intellectually lazy way of blaming women for the abuse they receive and absolving men of responsibility.
[–][deleted] 98 points99 points100 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
All women encounter many, many trash men. Men choose to be trash and to inflict it on all women. But whooooo should we blame I wonder???
[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie 44 points45 points46 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
We are all fed this lie, that it’s our fault. If not for FDS, I’d still be thinking this. I’d still be trying to “fix” myself to be good enough for LVM. It’s ridiculous. I’ve been told over and over again that I have “trust issues.” Turns out that’s true, except my issue was that I trusted men way too easily. Not anymore.
[–]dembar126FDS Newbie 60 points61 points62 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
They somehow twist logic so that men are never at fault. Never. Lol.
[–]nostradamusapologistFDS Newbie 67 points68 points69 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I used to read MGTOW forums from time to time. I'll never forget some guy writing a long screed about how things "used to be" (goes without saying that they aint exactly historians either) and lovingly described this scenario where men stayed with their wives for easy sex and women stayed with their husbands because they knew that their husbands could legally beat them to death, even though "99% would never do that." Like hmm ... how'd they know then, friend?
and women stayed with their husbands because they knew that their husbands could legally beat them to death
And they see nothing wrong with that.
[–]WindyScenarioFDS Newbie 3 points4 points5 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
It's not a bug
[–]just-peepin-at-uFDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Part of that is so that some of the men saying this crap to you don’t have to acknowledge that they are part of the problem and have done some shady shit themselves.
[–]FitncurlyFDS Disciple 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Men have the misogynistic equivalent of the insanity of Holocaust deniers.
[–]SaeyatoFDS Newbie 58 points59 points60 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
One time when I commented in a different sub, on a different topic, people made fun of me for the sexual abuse I posted about on FDS and told me it was my own fault, so even in the rare chance that they do believe you they still act badly.
[–]Starsuponstars 20 points21 points22 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yes, and what's even worse are all the dudes who are turned on by hearing about it.
[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie 37 points38 points39 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I think men immediately see themselves as a “good guy” if they’re not getting laid, despite the fact that their view of women is just as damaging and toxic as the “chads” they envy.
I seriously believe their thought process is, “well I just watch really degrading porn and sexualize/romanticize all of my female friends and I think I deserve a super hot woman despite putting no effort into my appearance and I do absolutely nothing to contribute to the wellbeing of women, BUT I’m a nice guy because no one wants to sleep with me.” 😂
[–]Half_HaltFDS Newbie 62 points63 points64 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
But, but! My 4th cousin 20 times removed had a chick drop by his house unannounced to check if he was alive after he ghosted her after 5 year together! He was very scared & had to take a leave of absence from his job at GameStop! Won't you THINK OF THE MEN????
-- 95% of the male population & (sadly) at least 50% of women
[–]Imaginary_Bed_2572FDS Newbie 12 points13 points14 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
If a man is so scared of women he should take her out to dinner (public place less dangerous than home) and if she gave him the creeps he should just split the bill and get home safley. Like, you know, like women do.
[–]TheLovelyTurdThrowaway Account 349 points350 points351 points 5 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link
We shouldn't be too harsh on guys. It's really hard to understand the world from their perspective of having their heads so far up their asses that they're chilling with the gut bacteria. It's a very toxic place I bet, considering what my exes ate.
[–]Salty-TomorrowFDS Newbie 125 points126 points127 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
You had me for a second there 😂😂
[–]miloba_FDS Newbie 79 points80 points81 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Oh my god, not the gut bacteria 💀🤣
[–]daisy_0720FDS Disciple 8 points9 points10 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My finger was hovering over the downvote button reading that first line, lol.
Also, it's super immature, but your name is cracking me up.
[–]ponchoacademyFDS Disciple 15 points16 points17 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
Yeah, when I tell stories of my bad dates, I try and stick to the funny ones. And even then, Ive learned that if my "funny" story might end with them asking me if I called the police, to not mention that one either.
Thats really how bad it is, that esp when I was younger, I was in so many truly bad situations, even the ones that to me werent "so bad" freaked people out to hear about it. Now that Im older, less trusting, more cautious, I see the signs sooner and dont feel bad or worse yet, "impolite" about noping out.
But, back in my 20's and even early 30's...no exaggeration, I believe Im lucky a date didnt lead to me ending up dead. For example, due to dates Id been on, I started giving friends the advice to either let a friend know, or put a note up on their fridge with the name, phone number of their date, along with where they are meeting him just in case something bad happens, so there would be a way to find out who the last known person to see them was.
Thats what dating for women is like.
[–]Vopli_FDS Newbie 86 points87 points88 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
My worst experiences were dating a 23 man while I was 14... The year before that another one of the same age touched my boob without consent... sigh
I understand this post so well...
[–]VillanellohFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points 5 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link
I've never understood dating for the sake of dating. Why would you waste your time like that? Get a real hobby
[–]disillusionedidealsFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points 5 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link
Exactly! I started dating when I went to college and I couldn't understand the point of it. The process is as pleasant as getting your teeth drilled at the dentist; it's awkward and unpleasant for everyone involved. There are a lot of other things I'd rather do than put myself through that.
[–]VillanellohFDS Newbie 4 points5 points6 points 5 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link
I suppose men do it for fun because they can. They don't think how it's the opposite for us while also being potentially dangerous
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[–]IAmGoingToBeBetterFDS Newbie 418 points419 points420 points (24 children) | Copy Link
[–]jargon_explosionFDS Newbie 141 points142 points143 points (3 children) | Copy Link
[–]Starsuponstars 85 points86 points87 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]i2aminspiredFDS Newbie 27 points28 points29 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IAmGoingToBeBetterFDS Newbie 34 points35 points36 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]IgetUsernameScrapsFDS Newbie 180 points181 points182 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]IAmGoingToBeBetterFDS Newbie 92 points93 points94 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]IgetUsernameScrapsFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]CSardothien_1FDS Newbie 112 points113 points114 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]MissKinkykittykatFDS Newbie 49 points50 points51 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]IAmGoingToBeBetterFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]nostradamusapologistFDS Newbie 71 points72 points73 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]IAmGoingToBeBetterFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]pascalinesFDS Newbie 70 points71 points72 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]IAmGoingToBeBetterFDS Newbie 24 points25 points26 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]HoldingMoonlightFDS Newbie 64 points65 points66 points (5 children) | Copy Link
[–]IAmGoingToBeBetterFDS Newbie 49 points50 points51 points (2 children) | Copy Link
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[–]IAmGoingToBeBetterFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]IAmGoingToBeBetterFDS Newbie 0 points1 point2 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 534 points535 points536 points (9 children) | Copy Link
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice 66 points67 points68 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]PahapanFDS Disciple 319 points320 points321 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–]Emergency-Feed8216FDS Apprentice 47 points48 points49 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]delawenFDS Newbie 75 points76 points77 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]SimilarGiftFDS Newbie 5 points6 points7 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 294 points295 points296 points (6 children) | Copy Link
[–]DallasM19FDS Newbie 122 points123 points124 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]relationship_redditFDS Newbie 52 points53 points54 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]seraphinelysionFDS Apprentice 43 points44 points45 points (2 children) | Copy Link
[–]i2aminspiredFDS Newbie 16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]disillusionedidealsFDS Newbie 11 points12 points13 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]mongoosebicycleFDS Newbie 169 points170 points171 points (7 children) | Copy Link
[–]chateauduchatFDS Newbie 46 points47 points48 points (4 children) | Copy Link
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[–]PahapanFDS Disciple 378 points379 points380 points (16 children) | Copy Link
[–]dembar126FDS Newbie 228 points229 points230 points (10 children) | Copy Link
[–]LilithWonRuthless Strategist 199 points200 points201 points (4 children) | Copy Link
[–][deleted] 98 points99 points100 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie 44 points45 points46 points (0 children) | Copy Link
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[–]just-peepin-at-uFDS Newbie 25 points26 points27 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]FitncurlyFDS Disciple 16 points17 points18 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]SaeyatoFDS Newbie 58 points59 points60 points (1 child) | Copy Link
[–]Starsuponstars 20 points21 points22 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]fdssavedmylifeFDS Newbie 37 points38 points39 points (0 children) | Copy Link
[–]Half_HaltFDS Newbie 62 points63 points64 points (1 child) | Copy Link
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[–]TheLovelyTurdThrowaway Account 349 points350 points351 points (5 children) | Copy Link
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