Why do these questions rub me the wrong way?

Phoenix__Rising2018 · 2020-12-12T22:42:34+00:00

My rule is - if a question makes me uncomfortable, I don’t need to know exactly why but I will listen to my gut feeling and stop talking to the guy. Later, my brain will catch up with my gut and I’ll figure out what rang the alarm

Pasdepromesses · 2020-12-12T22:32:58+00:00

Are there actually guys out there that ask if you wear make-up? 🤦🏻‍♀️

if11bravehawk · 2020-12-12T22:39:14+00:00

“What do you do?” - Thats like the first question I ask a guy after meeting him, lmao

But yes, it is definitely to see how smart he his and whether he is worth my time

Twolipz_78 · 2020-12-13T02:07:36+00:00

My favorite of all time is when they ask “where are you from?” to determine my easiness based on my ethnicity. I just reply with “from heaven”, lol.

spicyspa · 2020-12-13T03:36:11+00:00

“Why are you single?”

He wants to know what’s wrong with me.

2020-12-12T23:54:51+00:00

I ask “what do you do” just because I don’t know this person and work is a large part of our lives. It gives you an idea of his lifestyle and personality.

I would expect “do you workout” from a guy super into the gym and fitness, but no one else. Otherwise this is just...weird to ask? I would never think to ask this.

“What do you do for fun” I think is just them seeing what your hobbies and interests are. I would ask this to see if my hobbies aligned with his. For example if he says “clubbing” then I know we won’t be a good match. If you mention what you like to do and he takes you there on the next date, it means he was actually listening to you and tailored the date to your wants. I would expect this more in younger guys, not sure why but it sounds like something they would ask.

“Tell me about yourself” - hard pass. Sounds like you are on an interview.

“Are you wearing makeup?” - who asks this 🙄

“Does it take you long to get ready?” - why does he need to know this? Will he dump you or not want to date you if you say yes? Who cares as long as you get to where you need to be on time. And yes it does take me long! Which is why I don’t do last minute plans.

analoguegirl29 · 2020-12-13T04:38:45+00:00

"Ask me anything" - Nah, I'm good

RadioactiveJoy · 2020-12-13T02:21:57+00:00

A lot of these questions can be volleyed with a version of “what do you mean?” Just ask to clarify. If he can’t clarify he might be lazy and not at all interested in you. Also gives him a chance to either redeem himself or dig himself further down.

The are you wearing makeup one though? Like how dumb can you be to think my Smokey eye is natural? The hoe long does it take to get ready is so bullshit. The others have variability for sure.

carameals · 2020-12-12T22:30:16+00:00

I honestly don't know the answer but that is exactly how I feel! When I get asked those questions, I almost always automatically reply "why?". It just makes me uncomfortable.

HexyHag · 2020-12-12T23:24:19+00:00

"What do you do for fun" - can't ask about your hobbies, because he's afraid you're gonna ask him the same, and he has none. Added benefit is he gets you to think about "fun things", a phrasing which you may associate with sex so now he has made you think about sex, however fleetingly.

hvwthrowaway · 2020-12-12T23:35:31+00:00

“What do you do for fun?”

sounds like he wants to know how "wild" you are.

spicyspa · 2020-12-13T05:18:02+00:00

I hate these comments-Why haven't you found someone? How long have you been on this site?

comet2004 · 2020-12-13T09:59:28+00:00

ooh we need a whole list here. I have a contribution:

"what are you looking for? or "what brings you to this app"" - I am trying to figure out if you are down for casual sex

2020-12-13T01:03:10+00:00

[deleted]

Renrenchi · 2020-12-13T07:30:43+00:00

These questions feel like job interview and not like a natural conversation.

blerty567 · 2020-12-13T02:17:45+00:00

Men are soooo paranoid about fat. My ex would freak out if I gained even 3 lbs (my BMI was 19-20) because he was scared I’d balloon and magically stop being skinny — even though my mom is super thin. Lol.

palmtreefreeze · 2020-12-12T23:43:03+00:00

One of my exes was a low-value man but one thing I appreciated was when I brought up myself (idk why, I was insecure back then) what he thought about makeup, my ex actually said that he doesn’t care whether a girl wears or doesn’t wear makeup. It’s whatever she prefers.

And yeah, guys really should not have a reason to care about makeup especially when they’re conditioned to find made-up faces attractive in the media or the gross porn they watch.

I’m glad you brought up all these questions that men ask! It will make it a lot easier for me to weed out men during the first date.

squaremarshmallow · 2020-12-13T14:53:17+00:00

What do you do for fun?

I don't do anything for fun. Everything I do has a purpose, it's either for my entertainment/general enjoyment, my education/knowledge building, service to others, it's my responsibility etc. I know it doesn't make me sound like fun to be around but that's just the truth.

Not everyone looks out for thing to thrill themselves with. Regular life works fine for me.

AnnieandFish · 2020-12-13T02:31:14+00:00

Honestly, everything but the last one (two?) seems like someone trying to figure out what they have in common with you, where your priorities are, and whether they can relate their experiences to yours. I’ve never actually been asked any of these, so I feel like I’m missing something in the usual tone.

Splatzy19 · 2020-12-13T12:31:32+00:00

'What do you do?' is a good vetting question for gestimations of wealth and there are also many industries that require criminal checks or drug and alcohol screening. Useful in getting those first level basics out the way first.

climbergal928 · 2020-12-13T12:58:41+00:00

Anytime a guy says "tell me about yourself" I put my creative writing skills to the test and make up a wild and crazy story about my life. It's fun because I like to write and because I usually won't ever talk to them again because I hate that question do much so why not have fun with it

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sunandsweat · 2020-12-13T13:14:47+00:00

If they ask me “what do you do?” Within the first three transactions of correspondence, I stop responding. First of all its a lazy and mundane question. Secondly, I “do” more than what I do to make a living. It’s just so indicative of a person who can’t make stimulating conversation.

maraslove · 2020-12-13T13:55:53+00:00

Anyone that asks me about medical school gets instantly blocked. I know when you’re curious and when you’re greedy for something I will never give because wtf do I look like. “What kind of guys do you like?” Is a trap and I never answer. “What do you like to do?” is a way for him to boast about his boring ass activities over mine or to label ME as boring because I don’t do dumb shit like drink and party.

Only_Lime2520 · 2020-12-13T17:07:30+00:00

Girl I am the same and I thought I was weird.

“What do you do for fun?” =>Spend time alone with myself. Lol. Definitely not your twisted version of fun. Things I do have a purpose an agenda that serves to better my life. When I need a break I will spend my day alone at a spa or on a mountaintop 🤷🏻‍♀️

They ask that question because they are mentally still a child that constantly looks for ways to distract from real life responsibilities. Its also possible that they are looking for the manic pixie dream girl 🤢

beebeeteepee · 2020-12-14T19:01:55+00:00

This article popped up in my email today! Thanks FBI Agent! https://getpocket.com/explore/item/8-questions-to-ask-someone-other-than-what-do-you-do

Great vetting questions in there: "What are you looking forward to? / Where did you grow up? / Is there a charitable cause you support? / What’s the most important thing I should know about you?"

I wouldn't even mind being asked these questions in return since they deter Pick Me responses. And moving away from "What do you do" means I don't have to prove my financial worth to a possible scrote.

Title	Why do these questions rub me the wrong way?
Author	BleuRaspbery
Upvotes	170
Comments	66
Date	December 12, 2020 10:23 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/kbyd9s/why_do_these_questions_rub_me_the_wrong_way/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-do-these-questions-rub-me-the-wrong-way.746829 https://theredarchive.com/post/746829

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