Why Men with a High N Count are Low Value

plutunic · 2020-02-13T17:35:23+00:00

Sigh. This just makes me sad. Even if he doesn't cheat, it's sad to me that he's so torn about it and it's taking up so much of his headspace. Is this common? Do the men who stay faithful struggle all the time not to cheat? The post was locked before too many ppl commented, but a few men chimed in to say they're married husbands and fathers and you just suppress the urge because you can and must. But is it always a matter of having to stop yourself?

I can say with 100% honesty that when I'm in a committed relationship, I have zero interest and zero eyes for anyone else. I don't have to actively suppress urges to be unfaithful, it literally never enters my mind. It's devastating to think about being with someone who has to white-knuckle fidelity for decades.

SecretServlet · 2020-02-13T16:58:13+00:00

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Sangriasyra · 2020-02-13T20:30:33+00:00

It's a yikes. He will most likely cheat and that's too bad. Every day having a husband looks less and less appealing.

jetpatch · 2020-02-13T20:40:24+00:00

This is more a case of the grass is always greener. Most single men aren't getting laid all the time. Most are desperate to get into a relationship. You never see men writing about their happy single lives. Young people now are having less sex than ever even though we are all liberated because most people are much more socially isolated.

NoThisIs-Patrick · 2020-02-13T17:07:46+00:00

Yeah, I don't care if a man can become the most faithful thing in the world and never look at another woman again. I don't want a man with a history of cheating and I don't want a man who has a high number.

Plus, I don't believe they can change. The post OP linked really demonstrates that. I don't understand how not wanting to fuck strangers is so difficult. The fact he thinks about it the way he does is really gross.

gcthrowaway2019 · 2020-02-13T18:45:27+00:00

"I feel like I'm fighting biology here." Telling.

poopinfukinbuckets · 2020-02-13T21:56:25+00:00

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Ishouldbewriting83 · 2020-02-13T17:28:56+00:00

Problem is we don't want to reveal our counts, so you can't expect a man to either. It's going to be hard to know how many people someone has been with, so how can you identify these men without asking about the exact number?

AyemHerself · 2020-02-13T22:40:49+00:00

I don't think his N count has anything to do with this. If he didn't sleep around, he'd use the excuse of "I just want to see what it's like."

This is a character issue, not a body count issue. Glad to see so many comments pointing out how easy it is not to cheat. If this were relationships people would somehow agree that staying faithful is done herculean effort because biology and male pride.

MidnightCarp · 2020-02-13T17:35:33+00:00

Yep. The best predictor of future behaviour is past behaviour.

Turbulent_Jicama · 2020-02-13T20:52:07+00:00

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YveisGrey · 2020-02-13T22:09:56+00:00

Yep they keep saying how women's n counts matter but I don't see any reason why men's wouldn't. Let's be real women do not chase men for casual sex so if a man has a high n count it's because he was out there trolling for it and probably preying on vulnerable women under the influence of drugs/alcohol. He's probably a PUA, he probably is the type to think "all women are sl***" and other misogynistic BS. These are also the type of men to severely judge a woman for her n count and demand "virgins" come time to get married. Just throw the whole man away ladies. if his n count is over 25 that's too high imo (personally I think it should be less than 15 mine is quite a ways lower) granted it's hard to know but men rarely lie down when it comes to n count so....

ny-lady · 2020-02-14T01:31:15+00:00

Men dont think they are hit by sleeping around like women when they so are! both genders will have trouble with real bonds sleeping around.

So many what to shout tradition and god when god didnt say a man should be sleeping with 100's of women nor were traditional men back in the day sleeping with hundreds of women.

Double standard. And really like a virgin women wants a man that has run through a bunch of women exposed to STDs.

I lost my virginity to another virgin, we lost it toghether and it was lame(not in a bad way but hope you get my point, were naive at 18) and awkward. LOL

closetskeleton_girl · 2020-02-14T02:17:41+00:00

I was happy to see all the other comments- many from other men- calling him on his "but mah biology" bullshit. The top commenter said it perfectly. We're humans, and what sets us apart from other animals is the ability to be more than our biology. You don't cheat the same way you don't sit around eating cake all day, bashing someone's head in with a rock when angry, etc.

ivy176 · 2020-02-14T06:27:39+00:00

I don't date guys with over say 5-6 sex partners in their life or who have a history of casual sex. Their views and personality are just not compatible with mine.

BookwormJane · 2020-02-14T02:20:21+00:00

Yes THEY INDEED ARE low value. Not only because of the aspects you wisely pointed out, but also because of ... STDs. If they're promiscuous, they have greater chances to have a STD and that really irks me.

RadarFemef · 2020-02-13T19:09:37+00:00

I may be downvoted for this but...

“N counts” don’t matter at all

It’s an unnecessary stigma to have.

Sex you’ve had in the past does not ruin you for the present or future.

What makes a person high or low value is the respect and consideration with which they treat themselves or others.

Having sex is not inherently disrespectful. Being inconsiderate or disrespectful is.

MidnightMumba · 2020-02-14T06:24:57+00:00

Yet there are posters here claiming that sexual history doesn’t matter. I would never want to be with someone like this, but following their logic it would be “wrong” and “childish” for me to ask about it.

Blackishcat27 · 2020-02-13T22:10:17+00:00

Damn. Yes! It's about time. Hold those guys to their own standards.

Lakersrock111 · 2020-02-14T00:05:08+00:00

But men can lie about their numbers. So how can I hope for a virgin? I would be totally on board with sleeping with one!

plutunic · 2020-02-13T18:43:20+00:00

10-20 women is reasonable. once you get beyond that number, you get guys burning out every relationship or acting entitled ime.

Radtron3000 · 2020-02-14T00:10:14+00:00

They're always looking.

laeriel_c · 2020-02-16T01:49:31+00:00

I've always thought this way. Guys who brag about how many women they've slept with are an instant turnoff. Promiscuous men are bad news!

Title	Why Men with a High N Count are Low Value
Author	SecretServlet
Upvotes	211
Comments	65
Date	February 13, 2020 4:47 PM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/f3crex/why_men_with_a_high_n_count_are_low_value/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/why-men-with-a-high-n-count-are-low-value.682633 https://theredarchive.com/post/682633

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