Called Misogynistic For Asking My Sister Not To Date My Friends

Fuzzy_Department2799 · 2022-12-07T21:38:20+00:00

You look out for your friends the same way she would for hers. Warn them about all her bad habits and reg flags. Tell them how she has gone through your friends if they don't already know. She has told you she doesn't care about your thoughts or boundaries. You are no longer required to play nice with her.

nyarlathotep999 · 2022-12-07T21:34:17+00:00

Don't introduce her to your friends.

Normal-Yogurtcloset5 · 2022-12-08T01:18:02+00:00

I have a great friend whom I’ve known for over 30 years. After we met, and he introduced me to his family, his sister was interested in me. I NEVER returned the interest because my friendship with him was more important. He’s now the godfather to one of my twins.

Never jeopardize male friendships.

IronJohnMRA · 2022-12-07T21:19:27+00:00

What should I do?

I think you should cut your losses. She sounds like a bad person who is not going to change. I'd minimize contact with her before she harms you like the other people in her life.

SkullAngel001 · 2022-12-07T23:04:04+00:00

This has nothing to do with misogyny. It's beyond clear your sister doesn't respect your relationship with your friends. I can understand if it was with one friend but she's beyond reckless and didn't even have common decency to ask if she could date your other four friends.

I'd say limit your contact with her to family affairs and the holidays but that's it.

NutsLikeMelons · 2022-12-07T22:52:07+00:00

You know what she’s like. Why do you keep putting yourself in a position where she knows your friends? This is the root of the problem. Whatever you decide for guy number 5 you need a long term answer. As much as I want to dunk on your sister for her behaviour... at some point you need to ask why you keep allowing this to even be a possibility.

zerocovid-_- · 2022-12-08T03:05:01+00:00

Misogyny= behavior that doesn’t benefit a woman

PracticalPlastic4123 · 2022-12-07T22:36:06+00:00

Your sister is the red flag all those redpill channels talk about lmao

xXZer0c0oLXx · 2022-12-08T03:10:30+00:00

She fucked your friends... You should return the kindness.

AlienAmerican1 · 2022-12-07T23:13:56+00:00

You're sister is a slut, just start charging your friends.

RealButterchu · 2022-12-08T02:14:14+00:00

If she won’t stop trying to date your friends try warning your friends about her. If you explain the situation to them they’ll almost certainly reject her advances when advances are made. True friends won’t fuck around with their friend’s sister, not without their permission and definitely not after you ask them not to.

dw87190 · 2022-12-08T01:57:54+00:00

Cut her off

ABeeBox · 2022-12-08T03:21:15+00:00

There Are 4billion men she can date, but she insists on dating your friends. Seems like maybe she is also trying to get to you?

I don't know your relationship with her but it's speculative. I can't imagine how it would be hard to respect this boundary.

Future_Ad_1930 · 2022-12-08T07:33:08+00:00

Get rid of friends who would bang your sister… (as you predicted) they ain’t loyal to you. I would never get involved with a friends sister and I expect the same from my friends. It’s a betrayal of your friendship. I don’t know why your sister would be into that but it’s more than a bit messed up as far as I’m concerned perhaps she needs some therapy or something in regards to forming healthy relationships and setting boundaries and staying within said boundaries.

Personally I would just write my sister off permanently as well as anyone ‘friends’ that did this to you. Her friends are toxic as she is and good riddance.

Doesn’t matter how “strong” the “force” is. That’s a weak ass excuse don’t be so dependent on friends that you’re afraid to lose them if they cross a boundary.

Give loyalty and respect to friends and family and expect reciprocation if they don’t write them off. Trust that being principled and stoic in this and you won’t ever find yourself alone but rather surrounded by quality people who genuinely want the best for you. Friends who bang your sister aren’t doing it because they want the best for you, fact is they just don’t care about you enough not to.

equalRights111 · 2022-12-07T21:01:06+00:00

One of the many silly things you can be called a misogynist for.

theSilentNerd · 2022-12-08T02:12:36+00:00

Some humorous suggestions: - remind your friends of the bro code

thou shall not lie with a bro's sister - be petty and date her friends

Lancejc · 2022-12-08T03:39:33+00:00

Big thank you to everyone that replied even those that were brutally honest. It really helped me to read all the different perspectives and solutions to my issue.

I recently cut ties with her. It looks like this really was the right course of action as it covers both "Don't introduce her to your friends & minimizing contact" which received top votes.

Throning · 2022-12-08T01:31:29+00:00

I'm now 37 and she's 35

Full stop what

She's 35 and still thinking that getting in bed with her older brother's friends will, somehow, find her soulmate? What the fuck is this, highschool?

This isn't something you need to sit your friends down and tell them "hey, just, please don't sleep with my sister" - it's the kind of thing that you need to sit your sister down and lay down some laws - "If you do it again, consider our family bond null and void, you are dead to me, please, just stop sleeping with everyone I know."

Accomplished_Pipe877 · 2022-12-07T20:50:42+00:00

Idk man grown adults are going to make their own decisions.

eddboat112 · 2022-12-08T04:43:17+00:00

Tell your friends she has herpes

Magical-Hummus · 2022-12-08T06:26:34+00:00

She is misandrist because she treats men like disposable.

That being said, it does not really sound like a family member you have to stay with. I would rather stop talking to mine after she ruined the second friendship.Or you know, you could also just hangout with your friends rather than your sister even after a break-up.

ThisFreedomGuy · 2022-12-08T01:18:30+00:00

I don't think that word means what your sister's friend thinks it means.

You should probably teach her what misogynist really means.

AndyBrown65 · 2022-12-07T23:19:45+00:00

Laugh at your sister's friend. You are no misogynist.

Seriously, while it is tempting to date your mate's sisters, or let your good mates date your sister, it always (99%) ends in tears, and you have to choose family over friends. You are the third wheel and when it goes tits up you are suddenly down a mate because your sister can't stand the site of him, so he doesn't come over, you have to go to his place, but he feels awkward. Your common mates don't like inviting you both to parties, it's a spiral of doom.

If you sister is seriously after some action, you would be better off introducing her to mates of mates, not direct mates.

It's like when you start doing a girl and she says "if you weren't doing me, which one of my friends would you be dating?" Never, ever say the pretty one, or the one you like, or the one who is fun. Also say the one who has the attitude. Suddenly..... like a $50 note, she disappears

Jukingku · 2022-12-07T21:41:27+00:00

Fuck her friends and tear her friend group apart. Assert dominance

monsterted · 2022-12-08T07:34:04+00:00

As men our roles have been diminished. No longer wanted, no longer needed. I always give my advice, and when it backfires on the person that doesn't listen to it, well, what more can I do?

Let your sister do what she wants if she doesn't want to listen to you, when shit hits the fan it's not your fault. And you have every right to say, "I told you so".

But being the good man that you are, that won't happen. Keep protecting her. She may not want you, or your advice, or heed your warnings, but you are to protect her, that's what men do.

Standard-Broccoli107 · 2022-12-08T13:47:16+00:00

Cut contact. Even if she is your sister she clearly doesnt respect you. Dont hang out with her, then she wont get to meet your friends.

Acousmetre78 · 2022-12-08T20:31:19+00:00

My sister fucked my friend and created drama in my college workplace. It’s a boundary violation not misogynistic to ask a relative to not date a friend.

DecimatingDarkDeceit · 2022-12-08T23:46:15+00:00

Let her deteriorate her existence into the pits ! ....I know it sounds downright cruel and harsh; but hey ! if she doesn't listen or respect you; neither should you :)

wanthonio31 · 2022-12-09T05:24:03+00:00

I think you have to drop an ultimaitum to cut her off, it's very disrespectful from both the party of your friends and sister to do that. But from reading the title I thought this was something that reads of an issue around the teen age.

The fact that this is happening in the mid 30s and has been going on for a consistent amount of time for the *last 15 years*, creating drama within your friend groups?! That's crossing the line and she knows what she is doing

Elegant-Ladder342 · 2022-12-09T13:08:35+00:00

go NC with your sister. she obviously is a disrespectful POS that doesn’t care about your feelings. when she’s single and alone at 50 because she swung from dude to dude to piss her brother off, she’ll be WAATGM-ing. thatll be your win lmao

NarutoBoy87 · 2022-12-08T05:10:30+00:00

If she and her friends call you a misogynist for not letting her fuck up your friends circle, then i honestly dont think their is any love or respect; only manipulation...

5 friends in 15 years thats a whole lot... Run buddy run..

ReflexionSolutions · 2022-12-08T04:40:54+00:00

No judgment here, but why her dating your mate is breaking your friendship?

dukesaces · 2022-12-07T23:49:28+00:00

Do not introduce your mates to your friends or distance yourself from your sister (you don't have to cut her off entirely but make it very clear that she's out of control and isn't welcome anywhere near your friends). If her friend ever calls you a misogynist again just say "yeh, i am a misogynist, what are you gonna do about it?" And leave it at that.

efficient_slacker · 2022-12-07T23:56:01+00:00

She's 35. The problem will take care of itself.

MicrosoftOSX · 2022-12-08T03:30:02+00:00

Fuck her friend and then be a dick. When their friendship is fucked, you remove a toxic influence for your sis.

DarkObserver0457 · 2022-12-08T00:52:40+00:00

I love how the sister is a slut, disrespectful, reckless, etc and yet no one seems to find it fucked up that his friends would screw his sister. So much for the bro code.

2022-12-08T04:09:11+00:00

First, get friends that don’t Fck u over. Then dead her. Yes. Dead your sister. They’ll do anything to weaponise you being a man against yourself

Ok_Influence7378 · 2022-12-08T04:48:33+00:00

Disown the whore

heeroena · 2022-12-07T22:38:17+00:00

Ignore it. It is all feelings not logic or reason

DivideDangerous6713 · 2022-12-08T07:23:06+00:00

Why is it anything to do with you who she dates? Since when have we had any right to a say over another’s actions?

eldred2 · 2022-12-07T23:48:13+00:00

I don't see the issue. In what way does her dating them matter in terms of your friendship?

GreedySniper02 · 2022-12-07T21:44:22+00:00

i don’t believe in toxic masculinity and my answer is to man up. the problem isn’t your sister it’s you. Your boys don’t respect you enough to not date your sister that’s a serious problem. maybe you treat it like a joke until it’s to late or what but you need to go over your sisters head and make sure no matter how hard she tried she can’t get with your boys

GreedySniper02 · 2022-12-08T02:46:12+00:00

i’m sorry for you and your sister . your sister is putting you in a fucked position and your letting it happen. if you want to go the path where you have one or the other from the outside it’s sad to hear a man say he’d take his homies over his sister. I have two sisters a few years younger than me and if my “friend” was to fuck her id do my utmost best to make him regret it every chance i got . bring my other homeboys to go beat the guy who fucked my sister. wdym the force is strong at least make them pay if you saying pathetic stuff like that

wags261 · 2022-12-08T05:00:07+00:00

Just tell your friends to stay away from her. If she's being a jerk, don't be afraid to cut her out of your life as well.

ShameAffectionate15 · 2022-12-08T05:47:45+00:00

fk her, tell her what u told us. Ur not a misogynist for stating that. That girl is just dumb.

blaizken_420 · 2022-12-08T06:56:43+00:00

She's doing this on purpose. She revels in this evil.

matrixislife · 2022-12-08T08:43:56+00:00

Treat their involvement with her the same as with any other girl, there's no reason for you to lose friends because of this. If it gets too tense, just tell them "right, we're taking a break for a few months, and I'll give you a call after that, once this is over."
Avoid any input from either side about their dating.

Adeus_Ayrton · 2022-12-08T10:33:11+00:00

Textbook example of how feminism considers anything that gets in the way of the 'female imperative' a criminal offense.

Aka our vajaaayjaaay wants and feelings are vastly more important than anything and everything else. Men's plight is literally less important than a bug's life for these people.

SnooLemons5518 · 2022-12-08T10:35:56+00:00

Idk man but this doesn't seems like a problem this sub could help

Rad_Knight · 2022-12-08T11:19:20+00:00

Don't date your siblings' friends or friends' siblings.

The one in the middle will have to pick a side if the break-up is nasty which is likely.

Visible-Ad-6262 · 2022-12-08T11:21:15+00:00

IYou have set your boundaries but she broke them. I don’t see anything misogynistic here. My brother has also been protective about his friends and I respect that 🤷‍♀️

Sharp_Hope6199 · 2022-12-08T12:04:31+00:00

Ask your mates not to date your sister?

gafgone5 · 2022-12-08T12:14:23+00:00

You have shitty friends bro... and what "force", you saying she has a magnetic cooter or something?

ReasonVision · 2022-12-08T14:50:09+00:00

I honestly can't tell. I don't know your situation or hers.

What I know is this you'll be taken more seriously if you were in a serious relationship yourself, BUT if you want to do anything, you'll have to do it by convincing her to introspect, and most people don't like being judged, plus you run into the very real risk that every time you tell her that she's not something, she'll lash out with a "ARE YOU?"

But if you get her to introspect find answers from her on her dating goals, standards for herself, standards for her partner and willingness to work with him.

ToastyRacer · 2022-12-08T14:57:58+00:00

You have to be bold and say stop fucking my friends or we’re done.

Dietrich_Badger · 2022-12-08T16:18:48+00:00

Tell your friends to also stop dating your evil bitch sister, as she’s obviously poison. It’s too late for her, she’s got her thing, and you won’t change her mind.

AkatsukiGaara · 2022-12-08T16:19:07+00:00

Its simple, bluntly tell her that she as ur sister is obligated to not mack on ur friends as they are off limits. And likewise, u gotta pick better friends that obey the bro code. Siblings are off limits, no if ands or buts. If thats tested, u get rid of the homie and tell em to stay tf away from ur sister. And as for her friend, tell her to kick rocks cz she has no place in these family matters, let her call u whatever she wants, but when it comes down to it, ur sister is ur sister, ur blood, u are her older brother, put the foreign woman (her friend) in her place and tell her to keep her mouth shut as u were not speaking to her. If she tries to put up a fuss, yeet her out the door.

Hype-And-Style · 2022-12-08T17:52:55+00:00

Quit introducing your friends to your sister.

And dismiss her noisy friend who likes to name call. She's clearly an immature woman child.

Catch-the-Rabbit · 2022-12-08T17:59:28+00:00

Why are your mates nailing your sister?

NullIsUndefined · 2022-12-08T18:02:02+00:00

Seems like she doesn't have many places to meet dates and will come into your circle to snag one.

Just understand that she needs a dude, it's in her nature and if she isn't being exposed to enough options she will go after what is immediately available in her circle, which includes your friends.

I would not let her around your friends. Don't introduce her to any of your friends, don't hang out with your friends in a place she could be, etc.

Or introduce her to guys you don't care about the friendship with. Literally go on craigslist or a dating app and find a dude (but decent guy you respect) who wants your sister and introduce him. Or a coworkers, or whatever.

gamerlololdude · 2022-12-08T19:22:40+00:00

i don't understand what is going on here. why do you see doing partnered sexual activity with someone such a big deal that you think it will ruin friendships.

there are various forms of human bonding. friendship is one, romantic is another, sexual is another. and its all on a spectrum. so it is a strange claim to make to force a human to not bond with someone they wish to.

are you sure the problem is not with the mates reacting inappropriately instead of blaming your sister for bonding with them?

look at the bigger picture. pinpoint the problem. is someone having sex with or doing other forms of romantic bonding really the culprit to friendship breaking. if so, could you explain how so. maybe i could take a look at how to move from there if it is so, for now i cannot tell from what you wrote.

not sure what is wrong with sleeping with your sister like this ‘the force be strong’ part. reeks of the "men can't control themselves" when it comes to sexual expression. that is a myth,

TimTerrific · 2022-12-08T19:59:49+00:00

You probably should have told your friends to not date your sister, which with good friends it goes without saying.

SadSorrySackOShip · 2022-12-08T20:23:08+00:00

Ask your friends not to fuck your sister. Jfc.

pappo4ever · 2022-12-08T23:14:41+00:00

she’s 35

I say this is likely the last chance for you to have nephews. Let it be.

Savings_Insurance_29 · 2022-12-12T16:50:52+00:00

Brother, it's not your business who's screwing your sister as a consenting adult. All you can do is warn your frind that she is fkn nuts. And then let them do their thing. What if (and thats a big what if) one of those relationships works out? Then your sister will be getting one sweet dude of a husband, im assuming he's your friend because he's a good person overall. I don't know if it's misogynistic, but it is condescending to ask someone to, or not to, date someone.

Title	Called Misogynistic For Asking My Sister Not To Date My Friends
Author	Lancejc
Upvotes	700
Comments	124
Date	December 7, 2022 8:41 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/zfd3cw/called_misogynistic_for_asking_my_sister_not_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/called-misogynistic-for-asking-my-sister-not-to.1142540 https://theredarchive.com/post/1142540

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