Are there two different groups ?

fakingandnotmakingit · 2025-06-30T23:39:10+00:00

I think everything depends on the woman and the man involved.

Some women have "high standards" until they "catch feelings"

Some women are people pleasers who have a hard time standing up for themselves.

Some women are head strong and refuse to settle

Some women care for looks and casual sex. Some don't

Some women have low self worth.

Some women have high self worth

Some women are arrogant

Some women need men

Some women don't need men at all

Some women want a man who is a leader

Some women would rather than away screaming from a man trying to lead

leosandlattes · 2025-06-30T23:48:48+00:00

The two groups are just “wants LTR” and “does not want LTR”.

The line between those 2 groups of women is not drawn via age. I knew I wanted to be a wife and I knew I wanted to be in an LTR heading toward marriage even when I was a teenager. I have always known that about myself, and plenty of other women do too.

Women who get into bad relationships are just not good at vetting men, it has nothing to do with wanting to find herself.

TheCounsellingGamer · 2025-07-01T00:27:22+00:00

It's more helpful to talk about abusive relationships than to talk about whether there's a subset of women who seek them out.

The most important thing to keep in mind is that abusive relationships don't start out as harmful. In fact, they often start out as perfect. Abusive people often have this uncanny ability to quickly figure out what you want, and they pretend to be that. Then, as time goes on, things start to change. It's very subtle, so you don't notice it as first. Things like compliments that have an undercurrent of an insult. Control and isolation that is presented as wanting to spend time together. They sniff out your insecurities like some kind of mental bloodhound and use that against you. The abuser will slowly break down your self-worth and isolate you from others so that when they fully reveal their true nature, you feel unable to leave.

I know people say "choose better," but those are people who don't understand how abusive relationships play out. Anyone can find themselves in one. Young or old. Man or woman. Someone who dropped out of school at 13 or someone who has multiple doctorates. Even people who research abusive relationships have found themselves in one. The red flags are almost impossible to see in the beginning. People can end up in multiple abusive relationships because abusers will often target people who they view as vulnerable or more open to manipulation.

AllelWasHere · 2025-06-30T22:07:30+00:00

There are no groups of women. Just like there are no groups of men. Just a whole bunch of individuals making good or bad decisions based on circumstances and outcomes.

On a broad scale, it's helpful to understand some trends and statistics if you want to tailor your odds to get what you want, But in the end you will always be dealing with an individual, not a metaphorical group that all think the same way

Lemon_gecko · 2025-06-30T22:49:57+00:00

I don’t know about groups of women, I don’t think there is this imaginary divide between two. I feel like every person gets experience and comes out of it with some realisation about what they like and don’t. But also people come from different places, and it influences self esteem, and expectations. Also different people want different things.

I personally feel like my standards change, and they always did. And even tho they are high it doesn’t mean I’m bulletproof now from bad guys. I probably won’t fall for most of them, but there are still those who show something that i want which make me want to excuse some bad shit under pretence that people are not perfect.

I feel like men who act like that are stupid (saying without intention to offend) because they can’t understand that we get life experiences, and they are shaped by our personalities, abilities to learn, trauma and so on. It’s not like all of us have the textbook of red flags and as soon as the guy i like shows them i’m off. It’s not black and white. Men just try to blame women (as usual) for bad relationship. Also to create this false “gotcha” moment.

EulenWatcher · 2025-07-01T00:29:44+00:00

I don’t think there are just 2 distinct groups - it’s oversimplification.

There are people who are mature and probably had a good example of romantic relationships growing up in front of them - maybe parents or some other people in their family. Some of them still get unlucky and end up with a bad partner, but they have higher chances to get someone compatible and stable. People who get unlucky can get traumatized from this experience and then have more issues later on.

Then there are people who didn’t have a good example and/or who have mental health issues, childhood traumas etc. They tend to have more issues dating, and they’re prone to tolerating bad behavior. Some get lucky, some go to therapy and heal. Some end up with shitty abusive partners and get further traumatized. Some become abusive partners or just messy daters.

There are people who don’t pursue anything serious. Maybe they got burned, maybe they just aren’t ready for that, some just aren’t cut out for LTRs, reasons can be different. Some of them are ethical about it and don’t waste time of people who are looking for something serious. Some are in denial and think that they do want an LTR, but they self-sabotage. Some straight lie about their intentions.

There are people who want to have an LTR. Maybe they want to start a family, maybe they just aren’t into casual. They might waste their time on people from previous group, they might get lucky. They might be bad LTR partners themselves without realizing that.

There are also people who don’t really pursue anyone, but they’re open to dating if they meet someone compatible. Some are comfortable being single, they can be way too busy etc.

These groups interconnect and overlap, and I’ve probably forgotten about someone else.

Practical-Monk1586 · 2025-07-01T06:24:15+00:00

Quick check: I think you’re accurate about grouping these two types of women, but not always by age.

uglysaladisugly · 2025-07-01T07:16:57+00:00

I bet there is more than two different groups of any kind of people...

Business-Stretch2208 · 2025-07-01T07:23:24+00:00

There are young women who make good choices and older women who don't. Framing the issue as "women making xyz choice" and not "men treating their girlfriends in xyz ways" is shifting the blame on the wrong person.

RequirementMinimum36 · 2025-07-01T07:46:39+00:00

I’d say that the second group aren’t necessarily older women, but just women who know what they want in general. But yeah you’re like spot on. Most girls I know who date without second thought usually get to know their partner properly after the dating begins, and it either goes downhill or uphill from there. Girls with higher standards tend to be lonelier, and give up on men who don’t fill the image quickly, but they are usually less disappointed in the end for not giving someone they know they wouldn’t like a chance

NoDanaOnlyZuuI · 2025-07-01T12:14:11+00:00

People want different things at different times in their lives. It’s not just about two groups of women, it’s more about how everyone grows and figures out what they really want. Men and women.

Also, “high standards” can come from learning from past relationships or just really valuing your single life, so it takes someone special to be worth giving that up for. It’s not always about being picky, sometimes it’s about knowing what you want and not settling.

A lot of the guys who end up being jerks in relationships didn’t start out that way, they usually don’t act like jerks right from the beginning. That side often shows up later, once the relationship is more established.

Bad relationships happen to everyone, so it’s more about figuring yourself out over time than just having “high” or “low” standards.

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Title	Are there two different groups ?
Author	Artistic_Speech_1965
Upvotes	4
Comments	97
Date	June 30, 2025 10:04 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1lokorg/are_there_two_different_groups/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/are-there-two-different-groups.1556036 https://theredarchive.com/post/1556036

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