But Srs, What's Wrong With Getting Divorced?

_Tumbleweed- · 2019-04-02T14:28:45+00:00

It will scar your children for life.

If you don’t have children, nothing is wrong with getting divorced.

Barely-moral · 2019-04-02T14:50:46+00:00

Divorce makes marriage meaningless. If you can leave/divorce and then get married again then marriage is only a LTR with legal risks for the man.

The point of marriage is that it should last until death. No take backs. You are in and you do what you can to make it work until you die.

If divorce exists, then the institution of marriage makes no sense. It provides no incentive to make things work until you die.

Lordb0lton · 2019-04-02T15:35:43+00:00

The legal (fault divorce) and social (taboo against divorce) mechanisms that made divorce difficult (but not impossible) are important factors in keeping people working toward their marriages. Otherwise, people follow their instincts for novelty in the long run --particularly , though not solely, women.

Come on, do we really think they were all miserable back then? More miserable than people are today? They may have idealized getting out of their marriage, like people do now, but the difference is that their context incentivized them to work through rough patches and have a longer term mindset.

Without the significant legal and social mechanisms incentivizing (all but forcing) people to work at staying together, marriage is Russian Roulette. Forgetting about the money for a second...it's a gamble with your emotional life, with your social life, your professional life, your children's lives, and, yes, your finances as well.

No-fault divorce might as well be "not-marriage"

Electra_Cute · 2019-04-02T14:06:55+00:00

Generally people have an idealization of a "hierarchy" in their head and how that hierarchy "should" be. For a lot of men, the way the hierarchy ought to be set up is that men are at the top, and women are all their subordinates. Letting a woman have the ability to divorce a man is giving the woman "power" over him, thus breaking the imaginary hierarchy in their heads and this is why it upsets them so much. If you look it that way, it is easy to see why it would be considered "wrong".

ZodiacBrave98 · 2019-04-02T14:28:16+00:00

I have no issue with divorce as a concept.

The issue is, under common conditions, divorce is a way for a woman to torch their kid's future while collecting cash and prizes at the expense of the man on the way out. That is bullshit.

rus9384 · 2019-04-02T16:19:14+00:00

There is nothing bad in a divorce if you don't marry to begin with.

abaxeron · 2019-04-02T16:34:57+00:00

Fear of alimony/child-support?

This, and division of assets.

Together they allow a woman to basically punish a person financially if said woman got bored of them.

This is retarded from any point of view.

flamingoinghome · 2019-04-02T17:37:41+00:00

I think it's mostly (from the anti-divorce hardliners here) not about alimony or child support or even religion--those are red herrings (although the religion thing comes closest). These people all seem... like, TERRIFIED of heartbreak, well beyond the norm. They can't quite wrap their heads around the idea that the love between adults isn't the same as that between a parent and a child, and the idea of getting divorced offends them the way it would offend most people to hear of a parent abandoning a child for being obnoxious.

(that they've cast themselves as the child in this scenario generally escapes them)

Gravel_Roads · 2019-04-02T14:13:54+00:00

Something along the lines of:

he is tired of her, and wants to leave, and on the way out, she gets the house, cash, prizes, presents and the kids.

And if she's bored and has been found riding everyone in the neighborhood - well, she gets to kick him out and on the way out, she gets the house, cash, prizes, presents and the kids.

Aaren_Augustine · 2019-04-02T14:23:35+00:00

If someone is unhappy in their marriage, what benefit is there to forcing them to stay together?

I think it boils down to consequence. No-Fault Divorce isn't the issues for me. Its the cash prizes and the lack of consequence because it's clear someone pays for all this.

I'd become immensely resentful if I had to stay with a partner I was no longer compatible with.

And a lot of men become IMMENSELY resentful to pay for having been married long after their divorce. Imagine that level of resent; feeling like you're being stuck to a partner that has since moved on.

Fear of alimony/child-support?

Why do I need the court to tell me how to coparent with my wife? Is she so helpless in navigating adult interaction with the parent of her children?

insertthrowaway998 · 2019-04-02T14:26:01+00:00

If there’s no financial risk, I don’t get what the big deal is.

HellenicLady · 2019-04-02T15:35:33+00:00

I don't oppose no-fault divorce, but I do think that society needs to have a discussion over marriage. If people can divorce over the most bullshit reasons, then what's the point of marriage anymore?

ThisIsJustATr1bute · 2019-04-02T15:52:32+00:00

It hurts kids, and it’s kind of a bummer that the vows can’t really be counted on. But I get why no fault divorce exists and it is good that it does. It would just be nice to live in a world where vows were always kept. But that’s not life.

You could argue the destruction of the nuclear family has societal ramifications.

Truedemocracy4 · 2019-04-02T18:52:08+00:00

The entire Red Pill and incel movement was birthed from men lacking solid masculine figures in their lives. Divorce hurts children no two ways about it

Joey_Lopez · 2019-04-02T14:10:30+00:00

Divorce has reduced us down to the level of animals. Females are too impulsive and entitled. Marriage isn't going to be happy all the time. You have to work on it sometimes. Either that or choose someone better to marry.

In case you haven't noticed the single mom culture has destroyed an entire generation. Now children we never get to experience what a family is. And we can't build dynasties anymore.

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CrestfallenWolf · 2019-04-02T16:47:54+00:00

It's pretty easy, if I come to the house I worked 60hrs a week for and see my stay at home wife fucking her boss on my couch, they shouldn't get to keep my house.

Not a single person defending no fault divorce would accept this in any other contract. Buy a used car from me and agree to monthly payments at a set rate, deal! A week later I take the engine out of the car when your asleep. You take me to court to dissolve the contract and I get the car and you get the monthly payments cut in half.

LinkedFerret69 · 2019-04-02T17:10:45+00:00

It's the consequences for the man more than anything. Men will be far more likely then to stay in a bad marriage because they would loose either way. They can be sued up to 89% of their net worth in a divorce case. Plus many do see alimony as just money for just being with someone, instead of what it was designed for; keeping women afloat while they look for a new husband. One of my friends in HS qualified for free lunch even though his dad made $250,000 a year, because the wealth was split between the two. This happens even if the husband did nothing wrong. So, in men's eyes, their wife could cheat on them, she files for divorce, and they lose 50% of their income, even though they didn't actually do anything wrong. He' be more likely to stay in that marriage then to prevent financial loss.

I think what Tennessee does for it though is better; no alimony unless you were married for 10 or more years and/or one spouse is financially dependent on the other. Even then, the alimony only lasts for 3 years, probably because they assume after that much time you have found a new path and no longer need the money.

Plus the issue also is the stigimization of prenups. If you think about it, the only real arguments against prenups are against divorce itself. It's almost like saying having car insurance makes you a more reckless driver therefor you shouldn't get it. People hear that argument and see it as stupid, but make it about prenups and divorce and people agree.

Just my thoughts

embracingtheredpill · 2019-04-02T17:33:44+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/b8it3z/cmv_banninggetting_rid_of_no_fault_divorce_would/ejylz92/

_Tumbleweed- · 2019-04-03T09:26:05+00:00

Children don’t ask to be born.

rockbottommale123 · 2019-04-03T15:50:23+00:00

Getting divorce raped is what's wrong with getting divorced.

drSiAl9782 · 2019-04-03T17:47:49+00:00

Well, My ex wife started having multiple affairs 6 months into our marriage. I ended the marriage, but still had to give her a bunch of money & other stuff to make her go away. I have a significantly greater salary than her (~3x), so even though her actions ruined everything, I ended up getting screwed out of several 10's of thousands of $. It didn't matter what she did, I was the one that had to pay.

But hey, at the end of the day, my personal well being and sanity were worth it. Still sucked though.

Title	But Srs, What's Wrong With Getting Divorced?
Author	Gravel_Roads
Upvotes	10
Comments	227
Date	April 2, 2019 2:03 PM UTC (7 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/b8jml8/but_srs_whats_wrong_with_getting_divorced/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/but-srs-whats-wrong-with-getting-divorced.256462 https://theredarchive.com/post/256462

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