CMV: Rape isn't always rape

PIBagent · 2016-04-13T03:36:34+00:00

I have to agree with u/SkinnySweaty, this is needlessly risky. Guys have had their lives ruined on no more than an accusation for some cases. Do you really want to try your luck explaining to a judge that she did in fact say she wasn't interested but you kept pushing for sex anyway?

JuniperSunshine · 2016-04-13T16:39:27+00:00

I think some of the confusion here is because women really do have a problem with casual sex. They expect to feel great afterwards, but they don't. They regret it, and when alcohol is involved, it becomes even more complicated. I have to say, there are clearly degrees of rape here. I don't drink and never went to a guy's house on the first date. I never went to bars. Miraculously, I have never been "date raped." (Actually raped, on the other hand, yes.) There most certainly IS date rape, although I really just call it rape: when a girl has said no or stop or tried to get away; or where the guy has physically forced her, intimidated her, or stopped her from leaving. Choosing to drink until you are drunk and regretting the choices you made while drunk is not rape. Sorry, feminists. Real rape victims are giving you the finger for this crap.

Ladies, do you want the right to drink, date, and hook up? Then show some ownership over your decisions.

WrensPens · 2016-04-13T04:58:57+00:00

Why are you hanging out with betas that have to be pushy to get sex? Weak ass friends bring down your smv.

SpaceWhiskey · 2016-04-13T09:42:43+00:00

He reminded her that he never really forced her into anything and she even admitted she had a good time. She ended up saying it wasn't rape.

Even if your rose-colored version of this story, your friend sounds like a scumbag.

caesarfecit · 2016-04-13T03:42:06+00:00

I don't really understand what is so confusing about this all. No means no.

In this world, if someone says "please don't touch me" your absolute immediate reaction should be to pull away.

It really is that easy folks. I don't agree this was rape, but your solution shouldn't be to keep pushing someone who has told you no and hope you'll get lucky.

dakru · 2016-04-13T03:19:27+00:00

Him and the girl had been drinking at his apartment and he kept escalating, and the girl wasn't too into it at first, but thy ended up having a good time.

This is Russian Roulette, you're taking your life in your hands to get laid. I'm not even touching the ethical or moral reasons this is disgusting either.

Your friend is fucking stupid.

despisedlove2 · 2016-04-13T10:12:37+00:00

Yes means yes is a stupid standard.

However, that doesn't mean you abandon no means no.

Your friend is very lucky to not be facing charges. Just stupid.

ummidkhi · 2016-04-13T03:39:28+00:00

So can a guy stick his cock in your mouth without permission as long as you end up liking it later?

TheChemist158 · 2016-04-13T03:49:17+00:00

Obviously rape is always rape, in the same way that X is always X. But you seem to be referring to two subtly different ideas of rape. I'm guessing that you are saying that not every time a woman says it is rape, it is rape. But are we talking about cases where women knowingly lie, or cases where she actually believes she was raped (a woman might have been drunk but coherent and consented to sex). If she is knowingly lying, then there wasn't rape by anyone's belief. It not, it comes down to a discrepancy between definition. She says that drunk women (such as herself) can't consent, she was taken advantage of, and it was rape. Other guy says that she was plenty aware and could have said no. Who decides who is right? Majority rule through the government.

The details in your story are lacking. If she gave consent, it wasn't rape. If she didn't, it is. Whether or not she enjoyed it can be a tricky area. Maybe some parts of the night weren't bad, maybe other parts were awful. Maybe he is trying to convince her that it wasn't all bad, even though much of it didn't want or enjoy. Consent is decided at the time, not after the fact.

Him and the girl had been drinking at his apartment and he kept escalating, and the girl wasn't too into it at first, but they ended up having a good time.

Not too related to the thread, but this is a perfect example of cases of LMR that make me think that the chick was coerced into it. Being in a similar place as the chick, I can recall just wishing that he would leave me alone and go back to having a good time, but even after you keep telling him no, he just tries again until you give in. I'd just be curious to hear an unadulterated telling of her side.

ElderSign · 2016-04-13T10:16:34+00:00

A good analogy for this is sometimes I don't feel like going out after a tough week, and if my friends invite me out Id say no. But, if they show up at my house, I'll usually go with it, and have a ton of fun.

Going with this analogy, sometimes you don't have fun. You tell your friends no. They tell you it'll be fun. You tell them no again. They make a sad face and try to make you feel guilty, saying it won't be any fun without you. Eventually you sigh and give in because clearly they aren't about to take your no for an answer. You have a horrible time, and the next day you're having a tough week AND are exhausted. Still, when your asshole friends ask about it, you force a smile rather than tell them to fuck off, because causing any more drama about it just isn't worth it.

I'm not going to try to change your mind about "rape isn't always rape". Just pointing out that your logic is seems to be "it wasn't technically illegal, therefore it was okay, and if anything he deserves a high five for getting away with it", and you may not want to be that kind of a man.

redmachines · 2016-04-13T10:41:39+00:00

I wish women would stop being passive aggressive when it comes to their sexual desires. All this is doing is scaring decent men who do not want to hurt anyone.

powerkick · 2016-04-13T14:56:08+00:00

Hahaha I fucking love this.

Sorry, she wasn't too into it and your friend basically coerced her into agreeing. Your friend raped her. People are saying this behavior is needlessly risky and you need recognize that it is. Your libido is not that high.

You do not, in the spirit of a heroin junkie, need to risk incarceration and possible physical harm by trying to convince people to give you something they don't want to give you.

We, as men, are not that weak. Quit pretending to be that weak.

Princeso_Bubblegum · 2016-04-13T04:55:25+00:00

Consider this, for the classification for murder, there are many categories, ranging in degree depending on the pre-meditation and violence. However, all murder is murder, first degree murder is worse than third degree murder, but all murder is still murder at the end of the day. Even involuntary manslaughter, is still murder and punishable.

There are degrees of rape, some are worse than other, there is involuntary rape, but all rape is rape.

SirNemesis · 2016-04-13T14:08:00+00:00

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energyvolley · 2016-04-13T08:25:05+00:00

deleted ^{^{^What}} ^{^{^is}} ^{^{^this?}}

Title	CMV: Rape isn't always rape
Author	EntitledShitHead
Upvotes	6
Comments	252
Date	April 13, 2016 3:00 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/4ejodr/cmv_rape_isnt_always_rape/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/cmv-rape-isnt-always-rape.275166 https://theredarchive.com/post/275166

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