Counter-post: the average young man can't have a relationship.

AnarchoNAP · 2020-12-15T13:45:50+00:00

They fucked up that whole study by saying “relationship or dating” and let people who were looking to fuck call that dating.

And since it’s self reported, women are quicker to call a non relationship a relationship to save face or convince themselves.

Gravel_Roads · 2020-12-15T13:33:54+00:00

You're extrapolating more than the data is saying, mixing Red Pill and Blue Pill beliefs wildly, assigning malicious/toxic behavior where simple free will and differing optics work just as well, and failing to present all the data together.

I'll show you some examples:

between ages 18-30 , 50% men vs 30% women, are not in a romantic relationship.

Literally from your own link: "The fact that men and women tend to be single at very different stages of life reflects both men’s shorter life expectancy and their tendency to marry later in life than women."

61% of single men say they are currently looking for a relationship or dates, compared with 38% of single women (all ages).

Is there a reason you left out the breakdown of age percentages? Because yes, 61% of ALL men and 38% of ALL women are looking for relationships, but by age (since your post is about young men), for people in the 16-30 range, it's 67% for men, and 63% for women, so... pretty even, young women and young men both want relationships pretty equally. Women above the age of 40 are the major contributors to the number of women not looking, at 71%.

All of this seems to reflect accurately what people around here already say: That women tend to be serial monogamous, and jump from relationship to relationship when they're younger (meaning more young women are in relationships than men, because LTR's is what young women want more than young men, who prefer non-committed sex).

You could just as easily use this data to show "women settle more than men", or you could use it to show "men are less attractive to women than women are to men". I'm not saying this is how a person should interpret this data, only that it's not complete and still doesn't exclude most common sense opinions about gender and dating.

Just look at FDS vs TRP - FDS's goal is to help women find relationships, because women want to be in actual LTRs. TRP is to spin plates and avoid having to commit. None of this data accounts for plate-spinners or FWB's, which might also count as "looking for a relationship"... just not the type of relationship women want to be in.

So we can deduce that: - for each 5 men there are 3 women available. - it's not that men aren't looking for a relationship, vice versa, it is women who aren't (making the gender ratio even worse).

No. We can deduce that half of all young men ages 18-30 are already in relationships, and half are single, but only 61% percent of those single young men are even looking. You also aren't accounting for the fact that the 70% of women in relationships were also women looking for relationships before they found them, dude.

So when you mention "just socialize", keep that in mind.

I do think it's pretty obvious that dating has gotten harder as human beings fail to socialize their children. Socializing isn't something you start when you want to try dating, people say you should socialize so you have social skills, so that when you do want to date, you know how to meet people, talk to people and god forbid know how to get people to actually like you.

All of this said, it does seem like men are doing worse than they used to. But men are also associating themselves with far less attractive features than they used to. I'm saying this as a bi dude - straight white men seem to have the least amount of self-awareness of any demograhic I've dated, and their fragile egos make it hard for them to admit when they need to change. So they double down and wonder why women find them unattractive.

Bandit174 · 2020-12-15T14:47:17+00:00

It's probably true that the average guy struggles to get into a relationship more than the average girl and that the average guy has less casual sex than the average girl. However when you say "the average guy can't get into a relationship" that to me would imply most guys are virgins or never been in a relationship which is an extreme exaggeration and I say this as a virgin who has never been in a relationship.

(28% met online compared with 27% through friends or family). (all ages).

What are the other common methods aside from those two? Just random approaches or at work? genuine question

MasterTeacher123 · 2020-12-15T12:49:06+00:00

What’s “looking”?

I’ve known guys who have hit on 3 girls since January and have simply set up an OLD account who consider that “looking”.

ThatGirl50 · 2020-12-15T17:19:10+00:00

If only being in a relationship with a man was as fulfilling as being a single female, maybe more of us would seek you out. However this sub is always “woe is me” about the plight of single men.

SaBahRub · 2020-12-15T16:22:43+00:00

Most people don’t consider spamming women for wank material on Tinder between bong hits, trolling Reddit and gaming sessions to be “trying” or “looking”

monopoly_life · 2020-12-15T13:38:20+00:00

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Nauplielius · 2020-12-15T13:17:38+00:00

The issue with your title claim is that you are still presupposing that OLD specifically is truly the only option. Those stats that say they met online also include places like facebook or instagram...places where it might actually still be through a friend. Your claim also suggests an inability at the individual level whilst observing stats which seem to suggest passivity on the part of both genders.

As one comment said men can say they are "looking" when they maybe even didn't ask anyone out and are praying to Jesus to bring their state supplied gf. A lot of these men are either still in college or trying to build a career so their pussy priority is either on the wayside or they use Tinder and nothing else thinking that will work because gen z. Maybe people in non-urban areas are dating because Tinder is not an option for the guys.

Also I have seen very few cases of women who are so heavily invested in Tinder that they maintain orbiters off of it. Most of the guys they match with end up ghosting and they don't have that level of social proof that a woman needs to feel like investing in a mate. A guy seriously has a higher chance of dating or hooking up with some random girl in his lab group than someone who sent him a nude off Tinder.

wtknight · 2020-12-15T13:11:41+00:00

Many women say that they aren’t looking for relationships or dating, but most of them change their mind if they meet the right guy. Unfortunately, not as many men these days do the work necessary to make themselves the right guy.

All this study shows is that men should be trying to impress women in other places besides dating apps, because there is obviously going to be more men than women on those if more men are looking. Men can have relationships if they get out and become more social and find mixed-gender friend groups. Dating apps are playing the game on hard mode.

monopoly_life · 2020-12-15T16:38:17+00:00

"between ages 18-29 , 51% men vs 32% women, are not in a romantic relationship (they defined it as marriage or cohabitation or marriage)."

So if you are not married or living together, you don't count. Don't you see the flaw in this? Plenty of couples are not shacking up for one reason or another.

Dodechaedron · 2020-12-15T20:08:48+00:00

So, if there are more thirsty men than thirsty women. I always suspected that, but, is it more due to women being less interested in relationships (and sex) or because a relatively small number of men entertain a disproportionate number of women?

xFallacyx69 · 2020-12-15T15:38:47+00:00

This is just a simplification of the fact that some women will sleep around for as long as they can. Literally have a close female friend that blamed all the relationship issues on her bf, then dumped him and is now approaching tons of good looking dudes to fuck because she can... she’s not looking for a relationship and is clear about this but guaranteed if she wanted a relationship she could get it in a day. Meanwhile her bf is sad as fuck, but too busy at work to do anything about it. Y’all have NO IDEA how quickly women move on and justify it with “I was better than him anyways, see how upset he is?! He knows he lost a good one... see how many guys WANT ME?!”

monopoly_life · 2020-12-15T19:09:43+00:00

All the stats though takes the fun out of the dating game.

After travelling to different continents and having a go on Tinder, whilst single.

I can definitely say some countries are different than others.

Like in Asia, I probably stood out more from the crowd and fit in with the apparent wish of our genes to ‘mate with DNA that is different than our own’

On top of that Caucasian men in asia often = status due to money due to the significant difference in currency conversion rates. So I’ll assume just the look of my white skin on Tinder in asia meant I was more attractive there than Tinder here in the EU where white skin does not mean you have more wealth than the next Caucasian dude as a general rule.

8/10 girls I swiped in asia swiped back as a yea and I only swiped on 8/10 and above physical attraction wise.

Here where I live the results are nowhere near as good 😂😂

Mrs_Drgree · 2020-12-15T14:41:30+00:00

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Mrs_Drgree · 2020-12-15T13:36:02+00:00

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Rubbi23 · 2020-12-15T21:32:57+00:00

Unless society is full of more lesbians than homosexuals and more polyamorous women than men, I don’t understand your math and the disproportionate % of single men relative to women

kawaii_neet_bot · 2020-12-16T01:54:43+00:00

Dumb definition of "relationship". Marriage is different from cohabitation, which is different from a romantic relationship and casual date. The difference is HUGE in terms of commitment. I think it's pretty hilarious that you think the common denominator is regular sexual contact and not commitment. If that's your barometer, then yes your average young man isn't getting any BECAUSE he doesn't want the concurrent commitment!

What 24-year-old man is begging to get on one knee and propose to their tinder date? Work hard so he can actually pay for a house and not just a netflix and chill date? Crazy.

Tek_Analyst · 2020-12-15T13:18:53+00:00

Is there a question here?

monopoly_life · 2020-12-15T13:45:48+00:00

[removed]

Title	Counter-post: the average young man can't have a relationship.
Author	monopoly_life
Upvotes	102
Comments	287
Date	December 15, 2020 12:36 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/kdkyqh/counterpost_the_average_young_man_cant_have_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/counter-post-the-average-young-man-cant-have-a.731238 https://theredarchive.com/post/731238

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