Dating today is difficult because we prioritize Physical/Sexual Attraction (rightfully so)

wtknight · 2023-09-09T14:42:16+00:00

Flaired CMV as this post is making an affirmative claim

thisreallyisnotok · 2023-09-09T20:10:56+00:00

Some women now are seeking the most genetically fit man for offspring they might not even have

Correct-Warthog-9061 · 2023-09-09T13:43:51+00:00

Its not pill guys that only say physical attraction is the most important, the studies say it too. Women and men both prioritize looks, and are generally a prerequisite. Men just factor in looks exclusively.

szclimber · 2023-09-09T14:16:53+00:00

An additional issue is historically people had family's and children younger. So more consideration was placed on a man's ability to provide and support a family. Now in your 20s it's more focused on fun and pleasure.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-09-09T13:27:07+00:00

“Today” as opposed to what? The 2010s? The 2000s? The 90s?? The 80s?! The 70’s??!

We are talking at least 50 years now and if dudes haven’t figured this out after half a century- maybe those dudes aren’t meant to be dating!

Lovemelikeareptile1 · 2023-09-09T15:53:44+00:00

Men are having a problem because for untold eons they were brainwashed into thinking that their sexual value equals the security they can provide a woman with. And women were told that they should only give their sex to men who will provide them with security (commitment, money, goods, favors) etc. Women never found these guys necessarily arousing, but they went along with it because that's what their parents and their parents parents and their parents parents and all of society tells them they should. Nobody tells women, go for the guy you like because he makes you excited and aroused. They tell women, make sure he's a doctor or a lawyer l, does he have a good job, can he take care of you?

Nowadays, women are better equipped to take care of their own security and they need men less and less to provide them with security. But men haven't caught up to that. They play by the old rules that are no longer relevant. They were never really relevant but in the times when women were mere property, those rules worked to their favor as long as they could work hard enough to be a good provider.

Nowadays, men are not realizing that they have to be less of a provider and more interesting, charming, sexy, confident. They need to catch up to the times.

RonMexico432 · 2023-09-09T16:42:50+00:00

Get off the apps. Apps are 100% looks and presentation based. There's no chance to show things like humor, personality, and humility. Sure, looks matter. Nobody says "I bet they have a great personality. I should go talk to them." But they don't matter AS MUCH in real life. I don't understand why 3 in 10 people even attempt to online date. It's a bad model. I say I don't understand, but I do. Guys want to land in the middle of a relation with no risk or effort. Just take enough time away from gaming for a coffee date and split the bill.

AidsVictim · 2023-09-09T16:57:13+00:00

In the past (patriarchy) physical attraction was a minor concern due to society restricting women and men used to get into relationships using resources as leverage, today this is no longer true and thus both men and women want to have a relationship with someone they are physically attracted.

Looks were always pretty important and women still pursued the most attractive men under patriarchy. It's just that women settled much sooner and easier with "average" men both under social pressure and due to practical material reasons.

Safinated · 2023-09-09T13:57:17+00:00

I thought women always want Chad, no matter their age

PercentageGullible11 · 2023-09-09T13:46:55+00:00

today this is no longer true

No. The absurd consumption outcomes enjoyed in post WW2 Anerica are an aberration. We were a reserve currency issuing country (cheap capital), blessed with a baby boom (cheap labor). Both of those things are passing away. When they do, American women will realize what the overwhelming majority of women have always known: they need men to survive.

Decadent Babylon fell. Decadent Rome fell. Decadent America has already fallen once (1929). It isn’t different this time.

TermAggravating8043 · 2023-09-09T13:49:31+00:00

Dating today is difficult because it’s mostly done over the internet, and when you put a person on paper you loose the human touch.

When you decide to just do online dating of course everyone just wants the best of the best because you are having to make choices solely based on looks and a quick brief about them.

Dating used to be mostly through friends and work where you met loads of people and always had something in common with them, you might not have found them instantly attractive but after hearing their sense of humour or how they talk to others, attraction grew over time

SaltyThunderNuggets · 2023-09-09T13:34:05+00:00

No, dating is difficult for many men today because we are overloaded with stimuli that makes us lazy and unattractive to women.

Even men that are able to break free from this and attract a partner often fall back into the bad habits once they secure a relationship.

Dating is all about will-power in a world that is a trying as hard as possible to make you unattractive.

Alhambra-squatch · 2023-09-09T13:24:08+00:00

Looks are all that matters, because what else does? Made up morals and values women don’t possess?

It all comes down to how sexy and hot she is, more than ever before.

And women still crave resources. No matter what she makes she wants more. She’s lying otherwise. Gold digging is higher now than it’s ever been, ironically as women make more now than previous generations (their options to be lazy are dwindling). You have to be hot to her, and she you, but she also demands money, because of her primary evolved drive.

If women are “equal” then they’re just a boy with different genitals, so that’s literally all that matters. Does she look hot enough to rub mine against hers. Evolution makes me find certain “feminine” characteristics arousing.

Because she’s no different than anyone else.

Older generations don’t get that. Women aren’t special. They’re not on a pedestal. She’s not some supreme moral care giver. She doesn’t have magic empathy. They’re just another car in the highway. Her ability to arouse me is all there is. She can’t cook or clean if I even wanted that.

She has one purpose, and that’s it.

This is expanding to all ages, because women continue to not offer anything as they age other than looks. Hence the wall is climbing higher.

She gets older, less attractive, and her sole value becomes nothing. Her “feminine” traits become masculine. And masculine unattractive traits remain unattractive.

It makes dating extremely easy for me. There’s not multiple dimensions I need to worry about. It’s extremely simple now. There’s no complexity like in the past.

Glittering_File_6990 · 2023-09-09T14:51:50+00:00

I thought this was common knowledge

13choppedup2chopped · 2023-09-09T15:02:06+00:00

Is dating difficult? That’s a premise you see a lot on here but I think there are lot of people who would disagree.

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DeJuanBallard · 2023-09-09T17:12:16+00:00

Humans have always done that. It's nothing new.

Tovo34 · 2023-09-09T17:27:58+00:00

Here's the thing - women actually care about masculine behavior more than looks, but online you have no way to show that, all you have is a picture. In the real world you can become very attractive to a woman simply by approaching and showing confidence which takes a lot of balls - but that doesn't translate online. The solution is to drop the apps if you're an average man - you won't stand out that way.

SeaworthinessSame347 · 2023-09-09T17:42:04+00:00

This is so wrong. People do look for attraction to an extent, but your status, education, and wealth play a huge role. Just anecdotally, so take it with a grain of salt, I know multiple couples who have broken up because their 26 year old boyfriend has no prospects or skills. Finish college, work hard, and get some hobbies and you’ll be fine.

Yes, attraction matters, but it’s not everything

Stacie_Sophia199 · 2023-09-09T18:09:40+00:00

"many guys struggle to find women that are physically attracted to them"

What is the reason of that? Why arent women physically attracted to them in comparison to like 50 years ago? Also I see plenty of average guys in relationships with above average girls. When I get to know the guy i realize: personality is more important than looks alone.

Shoddy-Donut-9339 · 2023-09-09T20:22:01+00:00

Do you think that men and women today prioritize physical attraction, more than men, and women of the past did?

Instinct don’t change that fast . So you’d be in the culture camp as opposed to being in the instincts camp.

People are asserting different realities on the percentage of relationships and hook ups that are coming from dating apps, and other online things as opposed to meeting people in person . One of the competing realities Hass to be wrong . What percentage of relationships and hook ups are coming from dating apps, and other online things as opposed to meeting people in person?

Physical appearance would probably matter more and personality would matter less in a dating app driven scenario.

Incel culture and pill culture seem very determined to pretend that men’s problems attracting women don’t have anything to do with having bad personalities. The unwanted men do not want to believe that anything is wrong with their personalities.

I don’t know why purple pillow post writers keep pretending to be the authorities on women. Guys clearly don’t know and yet they pretend to know because the quality that I had and probably do have that annoyed my wife when I was young. I may have been adopting the style of the Talking Heads on TV that I always pretend to know things that they don’t know..

In academia as well acting as if you know things and you don’t actually know anything does have a benefit to earning money as a professional bullshitter.

CMV format may promote pretending to know things that you don’t know.

Rogue5454 · 2023-09-10T09:11:57+00:00

Women 30+ don’t “tend to settle.” They STOP settling. 😂

This-Adhesiveness-52 · 2023-09-10T22:10:16+00:00

This might sound bad but i rather keep paying for sex with hot 18-23 year women then to date any women around my age (m33), The sex is alway’s good, it’s cheap where i live and i can have all flavors 😅

Don’t really see any benefit being in a relationship with a women, they grow old and ugly, control you’re life You not getting a good deal. Would not trade my life with any married man. I still want to sleep with young hot girls when i’m 50, not some old granny. 😅

Women are never happy, spend all you’re money, treat you like shit, control you’re life, impossible to please Whine all day, they destroy you’re dreams and only think about themselves. Why any man would still want to date a women with such high risk off divorce etc... i don’t understand. Must be love 😂, if you still believe in that shit.

Title	Dating today is difficult because we prioritize Physical/Sexual Attraction (rightfully so)
Author	l00ks-p1lled
Upvotes	17
Comments	100
Date	September 9, 2023 1:09 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16e5dqv/dating_today_is_difficult_because_we_prioritize/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/dating-today-is-difficult-because-we-prioritize.1231303 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231303

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