As a plain looking/unattractive guy, what to do to find women interested in you?

PhoneOwn · 2023-09-14T21:50:25+00:00

Bro honestly I’m 28 5’8 athletic build(played college ball) have a decent job and literally stopped using dating apps. Had sex with one of my ex’s from the past but other than that absolutely nothing. If you don’t have a popping social media or not rich just focus on yourself Brodie. And I’m being 100% honest I deleted all the bot farming simulators called dating apps and I haven’t felt this good in a long time. Just think about it, is it really even worth it dealing with a girl if you aren’t even her first option or she has 40 guys thirsting over her? Be there for you fam and do things that make you happy. A girl will come along or you can always go overseas. Best of luck to you

Cethlinnstooth · 2023-09-14T22:58:14+00:00

If you're unwilling to put in substantial effort in circumstances where there are no guarantees...well I want you to have a good hard think about how quickly most of your ancestors would have died if they refused to go hunting or refused to plant the harvest just because it is a lot of work and doesn't always work out.

Look I get it. You've got better things to do with your time. Like pull it to porn. Play some games. Enjoy a bunch of parasocial relationships. Avoid social anxiety. Maybe you'd be happier if you just straight up gave up on doing stuff like exercise and attempt to have a social life. If you decide that...if that's the path you take... don't expect to be found to be sexy.

It's not rocket science. The majority of adult things are a lot of hard work. No other adults who are doing the work feel much sympathy when someone complains what hard work it is and how they want to be told that one weird trick...there is no one weird trick. It's just work.

wtknight · 2023-09-14T23:08:33+00:00

I'm not sure why those things that you listed don't work. I did all of those things and they worked for me. If none of them work then you can always try saving money and going overseas.

SecondEldenLord · 2023-09-14T22:17:42+00:00

Get rich!!! If you are a younger guy with lots of money and a luxurious life style, women will go on knees for you! Just get rich or super muscular to attract attention. Social skill,s confidence, personality are zero if the woman doesn't find you attractive to give you a chance.

LotBuilder · 2023-09-14T22:30:41+00:00

I would say 80%+ of men can be above average as a total package if they maximize their body and style. Being in good shape and dressing well with excellent grooming will put you in the top 1/3rd. If we are being honest most guys don’t try very hard. They want women but they don’t make a huge effort to attract them.

Katatonicsnake · 2023-09-14T22:14:55+00:00

Women in their 20s seem to like spirituality.

Odd-Luck7658 · 2023-09-14T23:56:02+00:00

You make yourself interesting. Learn an art or skill. Become good at something. Aim your expectations at the right audience. There are plain looking women with sexy bodies but they are not looking for broke, boring, lazy, complaining men.

dumbbitchcas · 2023-09-15T02:12:53+00:00

Work on how you present yourself- fashion, hair/grooming can give you a lot of points. Hard to find. Be kind, be friendly, be funny. Girls love those things.

Mahcheefam · 2023-09-15T10:38:00+00:00

Bro where are the women in the replies at 💀

Safinated · 2023-09-14T21:27:03+00:00

Nope. Socialize or get nothing, like the rest of us. If you can’t be hot, be around, interactive and present

What else do you expect ?

the_fozzy_one · 2023-09-14T21:31:39+00:00

Pick a skill to acquire and become one of the best people in the world at it. Expertise in a domain confers status which is one of the primary qualities that women are attracted to.

Over_North8884 · 2023-09-15T06:13:50+00:00

Go to Phillipines, Vietnam, or Thailand.

gntlbastard · 2023-09-14T22:28:14+00:00

Women shouldn't be your goal. Instead look at your entire life what sort of meaning you want to have in it and do the things to carve out that adventure. A woman is nothing more than a nice to have in your life.

BeautifulThoughtes · 2023-09-14T21:16:28+00:00

Aesthetic surgery and gym.

https://images.app.goo.gl/jzPTdfXxvuaQEms16

Do you think the guy on the left or the right will have an easier time finding women that are interested him?

Lovemelikeareptile1 · 2023-09-14T21:40:25+00:00

I've seen very plain men score higher caliber women by having an edgy, badboy esthetic about them. But since most average men want to desperately fit in wjth everyone else, they avoid anything that would set them apart from the herd of similar looking, plain, dresses in shades of green, grey and brown, men.

Barely-moral · 2023-09-14T22:13:29+00:00

In you? Nothing. You can get money and practice the use of a social mask. Women will be interested. Not in you though. Maybe in the mask. Maybe in the benefits you bring. Maybe that will be enough to you.

trail22 · 2023-09-15T00:20:50+00:00

I find its less important that you are funny and confident. It matters more if people like you better then her in a given social circle.

Icy_Ordinary2025 · 2023-09-14T21:39:45+00:00

How does hobbies and socializing not work?

InjectAdrenochrome · 2023-09-14T21:26:45+00:00

You should use facebook and instagram and figure out how to stalk people. Then "accidentally" bump into them at places they usually hang out. You can do this to get a better social circle or even to encounter women. You gotta be socially aware to do this though, I wouldn't recommend guys with social issues try this.

Worldly-Designer1686 · 2023-09-14T21:25:23+00:00

No women is going to find such guy interesting until he earns lots lots of money but even after that she will fuck Chad on side for free or single mothers who are looking for step dads but won't give these guys children of their own or massively paranoid women who fears being cheated on so she decides to give ugly guy chance as he has less chance of cheating and crushing her fragile ego

Nice-Breadfruit-6795 · 2023-09-14T22:03:26+00:00

If you want kids and a family, advertise the hell out of it on the dating apps. Not enough guys do this. You'll stand out. If you don't want kids/marriage, it's probably going to be a lot more challenging. Women seeking casual hookups are going to be more picky looks wise.

Fitness only matters if you want to attract someone who's image conscious and a fitness buff themselves. (When I was on the apps, I actually swiped left on the guys with gym selfies, mentioned the gym, or had 6-packs). I wanted a guy I could go hiking and camping with and was actively seeking an average/dad bod build. Why would I want to date someone who spends a huge chunk of his free time at the gym, a place I have zero interest in being? (And if you're curious, no, I'm not out of shape myself. I've got an 18.5 BMI and am a 9-10 to guys that like nice butts and small boobs). My point is, swipe on girls you think are out of your league. We're not all into chads, especially those of us looking for something substantiative.

Hobbies don't really matter too much unless it's important to you to have shared interests. Just be honest about what you're into. Too many hobbies can actually be detrimental. Seeing guys with these crazy insta-influencer profiles showcasing their expensive clothes, hobbies, massive social groups, etc. was a turnoff to me. It's like, "why does this guy even want a GF? He looks pretty content already. I can't keep up with that, and he's probably got a line of girls out the door already". So I swiped left on those guys.

harmonica2 · 2023-09-14T21:20:12+00:00

When I was in my 20s and had no luck with women, I found that PUA books such as the Mystery Method were a big help.

MrBrittle · 2023-09-14T22:58:29+00:00

1 – Work hard on your appearance and your studies

(Bodybuilding, nice beard, nice hair, nice clothes);

2 – Have realistic standards

(Not so high as to want a beautiful nun on the street who becomes a whore in the bedroom, but not so low as to be a Captain Save a Hoe)

3 - Be patient (If you follow steps 1 and 2, you will certainly be better off in your 30s, which is when you will really be attractive to some women, but don't think you will become Henry Cavill)

I'm an average guy and I have an average girlfriend.

ParallelArchitecture · 2023-09-14T23:21:24+00:00

Lmao do you do the basics? I'm guessing not so stfu about their efficacy lmao

PhoneOwn · 2023-09-15T00:47:16+00:00

It’s just funny how people cope and say just get out there and all this literal grandpa bot generic answers. Like they don’t really get how different the world is. I literally have no social media except Reddit because I like to look at gaming subs here and there. People will literally avoid you like the plague bc you of it. I just don’t find the reason to have that shit to be distracted with other peoples lives. The average guy who isn’t 6 ft has to put in so much extra work to even get a date. I’m 27 I’ve been to college also the navy so I’ve seen a good amount of different aspects of relationships. To be honest, I understand you put in what you get out and that is 100% fair and I also know nothing is really fair in life and some will succeed and some will fail and some will just watch. But I’m telling any guy, if you average like me GET OFF DATING APPS. What’s the point of of dating a girl who is literally getting spammed by 100’s of other guys trynna fight for a lil attention? The trade off isn’t worth it. Also, people never talk about dudes literally simping over girls just for some type of connection or intimacy to the point of sending them 1,000’s of dollars. Like where the fuck is society going?!

obviousredflag · 2023-09-15T09:40:46+00:00

Send signals that you are a good companion to strive for and reach the top levels of needs in the Maslow pyramid of needs. Be someone who is able to stimulate personal growht and self-actualization. That is what women want in a romantic relationship in 2023.

Mahcheefam · 2023-09-15T10:34:30+00:00

Look approachable, if you look busy all the time it will be hard for women to find the chance to strike a conversation with you. Going out more will land you more chances of meeting others and sparking small talk. Don’t have it look like your putting up a fascade to try and get a girl. Trust me we see right through it lol. If you’re going to approach just be yourself. when conversing, asks meaningful questions that will spark discussion instead of one word answers. And it will go from there. Depending on how good you all took it you would both continue talking and hanging out, eventually dating eachother perhaps.

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thisaccountaintrea1 · 2023-09-14T21:46:39+00:00

If you don’t want to exercise and socialize, you could try selling drugs. Those dudes always seem to be drowning in it. Every girl likes a bad boy, and you’ll get invited to all the cool parties (status)!

FunEducation1434 · 2023-09-14T22:53:20+00:00

Go to the gym, get your money up, get cosmetic surgeries if they’re needed, and shoot 2-3 points below your level 👍

Immediate-Bid-6873 · 2023-09-14T23:38:18+00:00

All of the “go overseas bros” are going to be disappointed when they find out that women from different cultures aren’t easy and have higher standards. American women are known to be the easiest in the world. Men from other countries come here when the women in their own countries want nothing to do with them.

Professional-Yam601 · 2023-09-14T23:38:25+00:00

Ayaka_Simp_ · 2023-09-15T00:13:40+00:00

I use dating apps, unfortunately. After a certain point, I realized it's just a numbers game. So i shoot my shot at every woman I like, it pays off occasionally, but I wouldn't recommend it. IRL is way better because women approach me. Plus my personality does like 90% of the lifting.

hockey_psychedelic · 2023-09-15T04:06:47+00:00

Entertain yourself - fuck what women want - do what you want and get really good at it. Women usually follow.

Don’t ever do something expecting an outcome from a woman - they can sense when you are looking for a reward from them.

Looks don’t matter for the guy who deeply believes he’s awesome.

RedditAlt999 · 2023-09-15T04:37:26+00:00

I'd say some advice you've heard already: get in the gym and make more money. That's what I did, but I was also around when tinder was still a decent app and not a complete POS. I got so much action through tinder during it's golden age. Personally, I don't socialize to find women and primarily rely on apps, and they're almost all going downhill, at least that what everyone is saying, but I could be aging out of the dating pool I usually deal with.

Afruca-tangeri · 2023-09-15T04:46:30+00:00

Not really something that can be done intentionally. Just be more open and maybe be ready to tell them about yourself and think deeply not laterally

AFuzzyMuffin · 2023-09-15T05:03:37+00:00

Figure out what type of women you like. the exact subset and then you can tailor your appearances and who you ask out to that. Emo girls maybe start wearing more black etc

AssistTemporary8422 · 2023-09-15T14:46:37+00:00

The exercises that help you the most are the ones that focus on building muscle. Also improve your style like your hair and clothes. Expanding your social circle and hobbies help but you also need the social skills for dating. This includes the ability to flirt, show interest in women, initiate with women, be confident, be assertive, humor, don't be too needy, etc. You might also have mental health issues that aren't helping like social anxiety, autism, attachment issues, etc.

jcolls69 · 2023-09-15T16:20:21+00:00

Have you actually tried the “basic stuff”? It does not matter if there’s no guarantee of getting a girlfriend, you should be doing those things for your own well being. The reason people often suggest these things to lonely men is because when you exercise, have hobbies, and have a healthy social life you’re more likely to organically meet a woman that will be interested in you.

Greedy-Heat631 · 2023-09-15T20:08:27+00:00

Be the man in whatever environment. At work? Be the best performer with all the answers. At game night? Be the one making everyone laugh. At the bowling league? Be the one with the skills and the knowledge. You don’t have to be king of the kingdom, be the king in the room.

Title	As a plain looking/unattractive guy, what to do to find women interested in you?
Author	l00ks-p1lled
Upvotes	23
Comments	257
Date	September 14, 2023 9:11 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/16iu24f/as_a_plain_lookingunattractive_guy_what_to_do_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/as-a-plain-lookingunattractive-guy-what-to-do-to.1231838 https://theredarchive.com/post/1231838

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