Does the average man have better, and more marriage opportunities in his 20's or 30's?

figthief · 2017-07-28T13:21:59+00:00

Depends.

Doctors and Lawyers often marry hot 26 year olds in their early to mid 30s. Most average guys meet their SO in their early to mid 20s and marry a touch later.

People in DC, NYC, etc. meet a bit later and marry a bit later. People in Utah don't.

An established man at 33 without baggage, in a major city, with a professional job, will have his pick of women 25-35 who aren't single mothers, who have their shit together. A man of the same age in a small town will not have the same choices.

Either way, telling men things will get better can be a misleading depending on their desires, their social class, their location, etc. It's not like the sky is going to open up at 30 and high quality women will start raining down.

Littleknownfacts · 2017-07-27T18:54:20+00:00

If he is high value, early 20s for sure... It's first round draft picks all around. Mid-low value men will be locked out at this point.

If he is mid to low value than definitely 30s. He may still have some first round options (women in their early 20s) but he will have his pick of single women his age and second round divorcees.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2017-07-27T18:46:29+00:00

MagicGainbow · 2017-07-27T18:49:48+00:00

30's is always better, the thing about settling down out of uni is that it is a very fluid time, also locking someone down early can put you at risk of her 'wondering' about all the fucks she's missed out on.

Thirties is the buyers market fior men.

buartha · 2017-07-27T19:02:01+00:00

Depends what his priorities are.

If he wants someone young (early-mid twenties) then he would be best looking for someone not later than his late twenties to early thirties, since young women are unlikely to date up in further than that in age unless the guy is exceptional.

If he values other things, like a steady income and someone less flighty, and youth is less of a priority for him, then leaving it until his thirties could well be a better path since he'd get a wider range of women to choose from. This is because a/ women don't often date down in age and b/ people get more flexible about age gaps as they themselves age; I've heard 19/20 year olds go 'eww he's sooooo old' at a late twenties guy, but you would never hear someone in their late twenties say that about someone in their late thirties.

Edit: at the end of the day though, finding someone compatible is more important. I wouldn't advise breaking off something with someone you feel a big connection with in your early twenties just because of an arbitrary decision about age of marriage.

TheOneTrueMagnet · 2017-07-27T18:58:24+00:00

You can get a better woman when you are both in college. I think the optimum is to get a PhD and marry an undergrad. This allows you to mature a bit and be able to lock down a better girl than you could at 22.

In your 30s, your ability to find women young enough to be marriage minded and yet still not married decreases. Can you get hotter women burned out on the carousel? Absolutely. Do you want them? No.

EDIT: Another great way to do it is to go to the military for 4 years. You get paid to eat, lift, and blow shit up. Then when you leave, college is free and you don't have to waste 5+ years on a PhD when most good careers don't need one.

Il128 · 2017-07-27T19:41:16+00:00

50% divorce rate. 50% of those who stay married are miserable.
Somewhere between 50-75% of partners cheat. His 20's as by his 30's he's way to wise to do it.

squidracer · 2017-07-27T22:24:37+00:00

Doesn't matter. As long as a man doesn't let himself go he will have similar opportunities at ethier age. Dating was super easy for my in my 20s, ended up in a relationship, now dating it's super easy in my late thirties.

I would say that a man does make better decisions with age

retardradical · 2017-07-27T18:51:29+00:00

30's without a doubt. The married by 25 trope is female imperative.

[deleted] · 2017-07-27T19:09:27+00:00

From my experience it's all down hill after high school, A lot of my friends who are getting married, are marrying their high school sweet hearts after dating for 7 or 10 years. It also really depends on " better" having more opportunities doesn't mean quality and marriage material.

Pope_Lucious · 2017-07-27T19:22:52+00:00

Marrying out of university is a catastrophic move for men. You should be maximizing your options and valuing your freedom of movement, not weighing yourself down with obligations.

wtknight · 2017-07-27T19:57:36+00:00

I think guys should wait to get married until they are mature enough to know that the person who they are with is someone who want to spend the rest of their lives with. This is probably late 20's/early 30's in my opinion. On the other hand, I don't have a problem with a man wanting to cohabitate monogamously as soon as he feels like he has met a great woman rather than "sampling the field." I've never liked casual sex or FWB relationships myself but I can see how they might appeal to many guys.

blackheartblackmask · 2017-07-27T23:02:35+00:00

Everyone is going to say wait. I say go for a conservative girl fresh out of high school

Xholica · 2017-07-27T23:37:41+00:00

I'd say 20s, but not early 20s. A lot of people in their early-mid 20s are already dating who they'll marry and first marriages are least likely to end in divorce. The average age at first child is mid-20s.

He might have more opportunities in his 30s, but I wouldn't call them better. This is assuming he's a fairly average guy who is mostly together, if he fucked up in his early 20s then correcting it and being an attractive relationship prospect in his 30s will probably net him a better match than being an overweight 20 something with debt, no hobbies and no plan. Or if he doesn't know what to do yet or plans on a serious move he might be better waiting until he's in the kind of life he's interested in maintaining rather than trying to change someone else's lifestyle.

notworthmuch20xx · 2017-07-27T18:47:10+00:00

more at 30's assuming he has a career, perhaps not 'better'

wub1234 · 2017-07-27T19:49:05+00:00

I suspect Americans have it slightly better than us, but in Britain it's barely even viable for anyone lower socially than UMC to get married in their twenties. Millions can't even move out of their parents' house.

cxj · 2017-07-28T01:55:08+00:00

Imo, most of the truly quality people pair off fairly early and fairly permanently from their friend circles, and don't even experience much "dating."

So if you were in on that, you are fairly content with your life and competent at LTR and other things, and 20s is your time to pair off.

Every other guy that has to run the gauntlet of dating is unlikely to find someone else all that quality so he may as well play the field and wait till his overall value maximizes in his early 30s. This is also assuming the guy is working at maximizing value via things like careers, fitness etc and doesn't go bald.

It's not impossible to win at "dating " but I don't think it's likely either from what I've seen.

couldbemage · 2017-07-28T02:48:43+00:00

Older all the way.

https://theblog.okcupid.com/the-case-for-an-older-woman-99d8cabacdf5

This pre match takeover article from OkCupid lays it out with excellent data. Older men have it way better than younger men.

rulenumber303 · 2017-07-28T23:35:07+00:00

The average person does not make good on the promise of their youth. The average person anticipates ending up in middle management by their thirties with reasonable hopes of better by their forties, and instead struggles to become and stay part of lower management.

If we're looking at averages, the average woman will go three years older in a mate no problems but after that starts expecting a mate bring more to the table to make up for it. By the time we are looking at ten years older she is no longer expecting an average man of that age, she is expecting an above average man... a well above average man. If we are looking at twenty years older, then she's going to want a rich man with great social skills and a good personality.

Thus an average man who wants nothing more than marriage and does not want that gap period for its own sake to play around in and have fun with short term relationships does not gain advantage from waiting. The most marriageable women of his age are gone, and he's got precious little to recommend him to younger marriageable women.

All the advice that tells average men who want marriage to wait is based upon the assumption they will turn out not to be so average after all.

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Yangel · 2017-07-27T18:51:49+00:00

Past high school its ogre.

Bottom0ftheBarrel · 2017-07-27T21:40:28+00:00

A man's options generally increase as he ages and becomes worth more materially. However, the chances of getting settled for also increases.

So "better" is determined by how important you find a woman's desire and attraction towards you.

Mr-LBN · 2017-07-27T23:00:15+00:00

Another question, is it normal for a man to have basically no sexual experience until his mid 20s? Is that common or not?

Unabummer80 · 2017-07-28T02:11:04+00:00

You have different phases of during those decades so it depends on the person but in general, I'd say:-

18 - 22 - University time. Lots of chances for casual sex and general irresponsible fun which a lot of people are going to take advantage of. Not much chance of finding your wife here although some certainly do. At the least you could find some kind of serious relationship, but that is unlikely to last.

22 - 26 - Finding your feet time. Lots of folks move back home or away from their Uni town so there are a lot of break ups and everything changes. A lot of people move back in with their parents to save money, if youre a guy this isnt good for your love life. People get a shock after uni and need to adapt to the real world, after just a year or so all that care-free Uni life is a distant dream. You have to start paying back Uni debt, and it's hard to get meaningful employment. No money + no career yet + still trying to find your direction = not a good time to settle down. Consider the dating market now as well and you are competing with guys al the way up to 40ish who have their shit together.

26- 32 - you start getting your shit together a bit and growing up. A lot of people will make progress in their career now or decide to knuckle down with an MA or etc in something more directly related to their jobs. People start to learn what they're realy like as a person and you start to play to your strengths rather than try and cover over your weaknesses. A lot of people start to get tired of partying and want to save money. Towards 30 I think many people do all this just cos they realise they cant flake about much anymore and have to start seriously thinking about the future. Whatever it is, the conditions start to fall into place for settling down so this period is quite good for someone marriage-minded IMO.

32 - 40+? - Now many people are getting married or pregnant and etc. Women have gone from having settling down somewhere in the back of their mind to the forefront. You should have some kind of career by now, and the maturity you have is usually attractive to people. People become less picky with their partners as they have had the chance to experience different kinds of people, and there is less pressure to find someone who fits in with your groups.

So that's about as far as I get so far. Id say a marriage-minded man needs to work on building his career first, and also needs to work on his health and looks. Starts actively looking from about 27/28 and you'll be fine I think. Your 30s is certainly easier than your 20s for finding a partner, I dont know many guys who are totally lacking for someone in their 30s.

haleykohr · 2017-07-28T03:07:12+00:00

Sniveling_Cur · 2017-07-28T07:57:57+00:00

More options will just mean more shitty options.

nemma88 · 2017-07-28T08:26:42+00:00

If you want LOTSO KIDZ it's statistically better to start earlier.

If your paranoid about divorce stats and want to minimize risk statistically it's better to start earlier (And I mean mid 20's rather than mid 30's) and pick in the first round, and pick from your own age group & social economic status.

Plenty of average men settle down with average women in both of these categories though. Might as well date as normal throughout and not force anything.

ElliotsSecondAscent · 2017-07-27T19:56:23+00:00

In his 20's naturally.

Past the age of 25 the sperm quality starts to gradually decline. It would be best to marry and make children before then so they can be born healthy in a happy stable family.

Title	Does the average man have better, and more marriage opportunities in his 20's or 30's?
Author	Kerb_Poet
Upvotes	6
Comments	160
Date	July 27, 2017 6:46 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/6py252/does_the_average_man_have_better_and_more/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/does-the-average-man-have-better-and-more-marriage.266725 https://theredarchive.com/post/266725

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