How did feminism changed the relationships between men and women in the last decades?

Present-Afternoon-70 · 2026-08-15T18:29:27+00:00

This gets a little aggravating. “Women say they’re feminists but still want men to pay for dates” is not the contradiction you think it is. Feminism does not mean every heterosexual dating convention instantly disappears, and increasingly women prefer something like a coffee date in the middle of the day anyway: cheap, public, and extremely easy to leave. There’s a reason for that. Men going into dating are disproportionately worried about rejection; women have to think about their physical safety. “Men are afraid women will laugh at them; women are afraid men will kill them” isn’t just some pithy poster-board slogan. It describes an actual asymmetry in heterosexual dating.

But the much bigger thing feminism changed was giving women the power to leave bad relationships, demand equal consideration, and survive without being financially dependent on a man. And this is where all the hypergamy shit becomes especially funny. If your entire material existence depends on the man you marry, of fucking course his income and status become incredibly important selection criteria. Give women their own education, careers, bank accounts, property rights, and financial independence, and suddenly they can choose a man because they actually like him rather than because he provides the best available standard of living. If anything, feminism made it considerably easier for a broke-ass man to be loved for who he is.

And if you actually want to know how feminism changed relationships between men and women from first-wave feminism through today, that encompasses property, employment, education, voting, divorce, marriage, reproductive autonomy, domestic labor, sexual norms, and basically the entire social organization of gender. At that point, just take Gender Studies 101. Why are you coming to Reddit for what is essentially a high-school-level introduction to feminism?

Lysa_Bell · 2026-08-15T18:10:59+00:00

Women are learning that sex isn't a bargain chip you throw in for commitment. Its a activity that is supposed to be pleasurable for both.

Being a mommy do a adult isn't necessary if you have your own income.

Men are forced to view women as more than just pleasure shaped appliances.

Men have to face the reality that being a "provider" isn't enough to be selected as a partner.

Being single is acceptable if you can't find someone to fit your needs and wants. There is no economic or social downsides to being single.

Fulfilment of life isn't just children and taking care of everyone else but being able to prioritise yourself.

Chikaboomboomboom · 2026-08-15T20:12:41+00:00

How is women wanting (not needing) men to pay for things considered a consequence?

Having the choice is an improvement over having no choice at all.

PositionStandard6089 · 2026-08-15T21:13:17+00:00

has anyone here even been alive long enough to know, first hand, what life was like before feminism existed?

half_avocado33 · 2026-08-15T19:09:43+00:00

Feminism to me: equal rights when it comes to education, healthcare, work, free speech, vote, etc. You know, basic human rights.

Idk why and how and when, and i am completlly baffeled by this, but some men thought wanting/having basic human rights means going dutch on a date. Why was romance mixed with the basic human rights? Who was dumb enough to think that if a woman has basic human rights, then she must also want to pay 50-50 on a date?

And mind you, this is coming from a woman who only did 50-50 on dates.

NotAllTheCake · 2026-08-15T19:39:36+00:00

feminists but they still want men to pay for dates( father than splitting or sharing or willing to pay the Full date

Stop assuming that men do household chores and childcare. Men don't do any of this. That's why they have to pay.

Are women supposed to approach men, pay for dates and do all the chores and childcare in the relationship? So what are men responsible for?

Until men start pulling their weight in the relationship, they have to pay for dates.

want them to pay everything in the relationship instead of goung 50/50 because they finantial aspectos

Stop repeating this because it isn't true. Only 22% of relationships are sole male breadwinners.

of patriarchy still benefits them

Men pick and choose feminism and the patriarchy whenever it suits them, when they are glad to accept 50/50 where the women has her own full-time job and still dump 90% of the chores and childcare on her.

Start there.

SprayAffectionate321 · 2026-08-15T18:12:29+00:00

One of the most obvious consequence a of the feminism in this aspect is that some women stay they are feminists but they still want men to pay for dates( father than splitting or sharing or willing to pay the Full date) and only wat to date or marry men who earn more and want them to pay everything in the relationship instead of goung 50/50 because they finantial aspectos( or some of them) of patriarchy still benefits them...

This isn't a consequence of feminism, this is the result of people that want to seem progressive on the surface but can't be bothered to change their own behavior.

Other than that, I'm glad that feminism allowed me to choose the men I desire and not the men I need.

AchingAmy · 2026-08-15T18:40:35+00:00

I assume you mean from a western pov, since feminism's results in a lot of other countries are not as much as in the west, but it's made it so that women can be independent from men. Relationship-wise I'd say it means there won't be as much of a power dynamic as in the past where a man could use that provider role as coercive control since she's dependent on him in the past.

some women stay they are feminists but they still want men to pay for dates( father than splitting or sharing or willing to pay the Full date) and only wat to date or marry men who earn more and want them to pay everything in the relationship instead of goung 50/50 because they finantial aspectos( or some of them) of patriarchy still benefits them...

There will always be people who don't live up to their beliefs and are hypocritical. This isn't a "consequence of feminism" as much as individuals behaving in ways contrary to what feminism is about. At best you can call it a byproduct I guess, but an actual consequence of feminism is now there are women who are able to pay for dates and there are indeed some who do. But yeah, I don't think you'd call corrupt political lobbying an intended consequence of the democratic form of government being created, would you? It's more of a byproduct that runs contrary to the spirit of what it was meant to be about.

To add to what else was made possible due to feminism for relationships:

There also more women now who have stay-at-home husbands/boyfriends than at any point in history.

Relationships are more able to be based on love and compatibility rather than a woman needing to find a partner for survival.

There can be less of a woman: submissive, man: dominant dynamic; other dynamics are more probable now compared to the past

Same-sex relationships are more normalized and more commonplace so queer women and men don't have to be forced to be with the other sex if they so choose

ThatBitchA · 2026-08-15T20:11:18+00:00

Let's see.......

Feminism has allowed me to stay single until finding quality men who are financially responsible.

Feminism has allowed me to reject men for any reason.

Feminism has allowed me to choose what kind of lifestyle I want.

Feminism has allowed me to work and make my own money to fully support myself.

Feminism has allowed me to be childfree.

If a man feels bothered by paying for a first date....he doesn't have to. Discuss that shit while planning the date.

I never go 50/50. I split based on income.

love_in_october · 2026-08-15T18:20:11+00:00

It's introduced a freedom of choice that few couples had before and made love matches the default. No longer are women settling for the first man that comes along for economic survival or greater independence as they are able to obtain that themselves. Couples don't rush but actually decide whether they like each other before settling down. The era of men "paying everything" is gone in the first world.

PuzzleheadedRow9896 · 2026-08-15T19:17:12+00:00

In some cases it made it more contentious, in some it made it more respectful and courteous.

Obviously, it has given women the ability to be independent, which in turn means women are now able to choose not to accept the interests of some men while courting the interests of others. And being single or on the shelf is acceptable for ladies.

It has opened the case of women as sexual agents with their own dreams and desires on that front (although, I'd argue there's a lot left to do on this front and understand and universalize).

I think the flipside of these factors is that now when women choose men, there's a higher probability they actually like and feel attraction to him and aren't just choosing the least revolting person capable of providing a financial and social future. Which, I would assume is a nice thing for a man to know is true, rather than to pretend to himself.

I think in a business or educational context women have risen to prominence and are being taken more seriously as leaders, thinkers, students, etc. I think men are less likely to be dismissive or thoughtless towards their female coworkers, which is really nice and I would think would make men feel good about themselves that there's no longer this simmering derision towards them from women.

Obviously men are doing more childcare and there's much more attention paid to the importance fathers play in their children's lives which I personally think is so wonderful to see and I would assume makes men feel good to know they aren't being dismissed as like just a wallet that feeds a child, but actually vital to their physical, social, and emotional development.

There's greater fairness in domestic labor, which I think has led to stronger marriages and men finding hobbies in the domestic arts that are fulfilling to them while giving women more time period.

RelativeCondition915 · 2026-08-16T01:56:52+00:00

Is this a homework question? Did you get tricked into an entry level gender studies class? Pay more attention to your textbook.

QuestioningThink · 2026-08-15T19:21:59+00:00

Feminism has nothing to do with subsidizing 50% of men’s life.

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Financial_Leave4411 · 2026-08-15T18:17:33+00:00

Improvement: Women aren’t forced to marry for survival.

Worsened: Doubled the pool of people in the job market so it made wages stagnant which wouldn’t have been so bad if there was a cap on how much houses, cars, insurance, food etc could go up in price to balance that. That squeeze in wages vs cost made men and women more adversarial towards one another. Also men still expect women to be women but they don’t want to be men in the dating market.

Content_Context_3292 · 2026-08-15T19:28:20+00:00

i dont feel like feminism or anti feminism really affects anything irl cuz i hate to sound rude but most neurotypicals i speak to IRL are kind of like talking to a brick.

like i dont mean that in a way that theyre morally bad. and im not really smart myself.

but i notice many ppl barely have anything past a surface level understanding of deep seated political issues.

Title	How did feminism changed the relationships between men and women in the last decades?
Author	Sabryne2192
Upvotes	0
Comments	134
Date	August 15, 2026 6:04 PM UTC (4 days ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1vp9nup/how_did_feminism_changed_the_relationships/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-did-feminism-changed-the-relationships-between.1633146 https://theredarchive.com/post/1633146

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