How much time does a highly productive man actually have to give you?

ruboyuri · 2022-04-20T20:41:05+00:00

I don’t know how much time a man has to give, but if he’s trying to keep it as low as possible I expect he doesn’t actually want to be in a relationship with me

Also, if you’re only making 75k with a house and kids in a good school district or private school, I assure you that your gf/wife is also working FT

I do love these posts of yours; they are so fun

Mobrowncheeks · 2022-04-20T20:03:08+00:00

I would hate to have to calculate my life out this way, expecially for less then 100k

WestsideMoonWalker · 2022-04-20T20:15:31+00:00

Lol all of this just tells me living in a suburb and commuting to work is shit. I could have told you about that without calculating all this out.

1 hour a day to get ready for work. (5 h)

you get 5 hours back if you can find a wfh job

He has to help with some chores around the house (6 hour a week)

Can be done during wfh activities with pretty minimal effort

That puts you in the suburbs in most metropolitan areas so atleast 45 minute commute one way. (7.5 hour a weeks driving)

If doing wfh, you can cut this as well

That man will work minimum 40 hours, 55 if he wants to be considered for a promotion which you probably want him to be.

Working overtime is a waste and you get bigger jumps from switching companies, but if you are overworking yourself for a promotion generally, you are doing it wrong

Yard work / home maintenance = 4 hour

with a more modest sized house in a city, this shouldn't be time-consuming either.

With just a few adjustments, you can get back nearly 40 hours without significantly impacting career trajectory.

TL;DR: Fuck commuting, if you have a choice, work from home is best.

Edit: Also, 55 hours weekly for 75k is awful. No job is worth 55 hours a week, much less one that doesn't even pay 6 figures (and really, significantly more, imo)

SignalThanks6766 · 2022-04-20T20:41:20+00:00

I find working 55 hours a week when you’re being paid to work 40 hours INSANE. My partner earns £33k in the UK with 40 hours maximum, 2 days at home. We own a house in Edinburgh city centre. Haven’t even looked at the school district but we both went to a typical state school so not expecting any different from kids we have. It’ll be fine. His commute is 15 minutes cycling each way as he can’t drive. It takes him 30 minutes to shower and eat. So 9 hours.

He doesn’t work out but he doesn’t overeat so he’s fine. He sleeps 8 hours a night.

We don’t have kids so I’ll assume your two hours a day dinner, playtime, homework is reasonable. I have no idea. Yard work - there’s a park nearby but living in a city means no garden. Kids long distance 4 hours a week? Is he taking them to the highlands? To England? Whhhhhhyyy? Also he can’t drive.

He cooks all our dinners but doesn’t clean. That’s 4 hours a week total.

Most of our socialising is together but he has a DND night once a week which takes about 5 hours total by the time he goes for a pint. So I’ll say 5 hours.

10% fluff. Fine.

That’s 157 hoursish. That’s 11 hours left to fuck my brains out. Sounds great. Love it.

fakingandnotmakingit · 2022-04-20T21:05:32+00:00

Like women aren't doing the same balancing act?

And tbh where are you getting your figures?

Say 40 hours. We'll be generous and say 50

8 hours of sleep.

3 hours excercise (assuming you aren't exercising during your commute. Both my husband and I cycle to work for example)

Have a social life (I only know one couple with kids where they both work full time. They have like a night a week each to themselves to hang out with their friends. They also have "couple friends". Unless. It's a drinking sesh they tend to bring the baby too. Which we all love) 4 hours

5 hours for hobbies a week.

Commute - 5 hr

Getting ready - 30 mins a day. The fuck are you doing that takes an hour? It takes me 45 if I bother with make up. - 4hrs.

Chores- 3 - 4hours. (tf you doing? Deep cleaning each week? How big is your house? )

That's 85 hours round ish. 90 hours if you're working 55 like you thought.

Even ferrying your kid around to activities once they're old enough would be say 5 extra hours a week? Assuming you aren't integrating the commutes.

Taking care of the kid, presumable when you're both at home. Can double over as "family time" so you're still taking the time to hang out together.

And also a lot of these things can overlap. My tennis club is both excercise and socialisation. If you have the same hobbies and group of friends some of the socialisation and the spending time together as a couple get easier.

Sheesh. It's hard, but not impossible.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2022-04-20T20:15:48+00:00

This sounds more like you just don’t want to get married and move your family to the suburbs. Ok, then don’t do that.

toasterchild · 2022-04-20T20:10:15+00:00

My husband and I both have full time jobs, kids, pets, a house, a joint part time job, our own separate hobbies we spend 3-12 hours on a week. We still find plenty of time to date and have quality time together. You value what you value, if you have to make a post about how hard it is to find time for your relationship it's because you don't want to find time for your relationship.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-04-20T20:14:19+00:00

Few women care about all of these things. If he's supporting her and the children, then he's not doing the housework or childcare. If she's working more, he's working less. Four hours a week on home maintenance is high, especially if you have enough money to just hire someone else to do it. Going to the gym when you have children isn't expected, just don't get fat. Et cetera.

sivarias · 2022-04-20T20:15:12+00:00

Multiple kf these can overlap.

Kids make great free weights and they cackle the entire time.

Prep dinner, get it to simmer, go downstairs to home gym, knock out a set or super set, go up and check on food.

Social activities can easily be physical and replace gym time on a 1 to 1 (Me and the bros regularly take half a day and see how many miles we can ruck. I dont go to the gym that day, or the day after.)

Quit being rigid, and be more creative with your planned output.

AelfredRex · 2022-04-20T20:21:34+00:00

Most men don't make 75K a year. They're still getting with the women. Someone fed you a line of bullshit.

sarkington · 2022-04-20T20:06:18+00:00

Do you, like, think that most mothers don’t work? I assure you, they do unless they are really poor or rich

You’re really hung up on these 25 minutes aren’t you? “5 minute man” isn’t a compliment or appealing

Btw — people who like each other like being around each other more than the absolute minimum necessary, did you know?

Sounds like you don’t really want a relationship, you want a sex worker, plus also a cook, maid/housekeeper and nanny. Better open up that wallet; those 4 jobs will cost you quite a pretty penny

Rough_Collections · 2022-04-20T20:42:35+00:00

First of all -- who's complaining?

Men don't usually take an hour to get ready for work. And "productive" ones (guessing this means men who work long hours?) generally don't do the kids' homework/play time. That's for us moms to do. I do it because I work fewer hours. I don't mind.

"Social time" is just made up. Most men with families don't do a lot of social time, and people certainly don't think they're weird for not doing it. Most of the guys on here who are single don't even clock a ton of social time.

Long distance and trips...? Like to the museum? We both go on those. People don't do them every week either.

Six hours a week for chores? Nobody spends that much time on chores. I do most of them and it's like 5 hours a week total. If he has that little time, he can probably afford a cleaner anyway.

Nobody lives how you described. This is a weird strawman hypothetical.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-04-20T20:00:15+00:00

Jerking off to VR porn takes 10 minutes if having a family is too much work for you

DonQOnIce · 2022-04-20T20:31:54+00:00

This was a fantastic commercial for NOT living in the suburbs and following the “American Dream” life script.

Orange_Paisley · 2022-04-20T23:25:40+00:00

I don’t think there’s a $75k minimum on dating. Plenty of people make less than that and most people date within their own socioeconomic bracket.

2022-04-20T20:26:49+00:00

You don’t need to work more than 40 hours to be great at your job, smarter not harder. Also how many office workers realistically commute any more on a regular basis? Who the actual fuck needs an hour to get ready everyday?

YouAskedIt · 2022-04-20T20:05:29+00:00

Notice you dedicated 0 hours to talking to your wife and giving your relationship attention. Working, taking care of yourself, cleaning, and house chores are basic adult responsibilities. Taking care of your children and giving them attention is your duty as a parent. You have duties to your wife as well that go far beyond being a paycheck that wants sex from her, but you failed to mention 1 single thing that has to do with your relationship. Awesome, but ladies need to stfu and let him have his space from you. You got space, all of it.

Ainsleygz · 2022-04-20T20:02:41+00:00

Don’t have kids 🤷‍♀️ or else suffer the consequences

back_in_blyat · 2022-04-20T20:12:39+00:00

All of your numbers are so hilariously overblown except the gym. 3 hours a week is weak shit.

ThePleasureIsAllMind · 2022-04-20T20:21:02+00:00

Don’t worry, OP. Someone who can’t grasp the basic fundamentals of multitasking won’t need to bother with other adult responsibilities like a relationship or kids.

Vtridolla · 2022-04-20T19:57:12+00:00

5 minutes a month by my Redditor calculations 🤓

GlowingAsItDazzles · 2022-04-20T20:19:28+00:00

not much, thats why i dont like them. come smoke weed on my couch baby, heres the controller

enoesraht · 2022-04-20T22:17:34+00:00

This salary for 55 hours is straight up a joke. Just change company

2022-04-20T22:10:49+00:00

This is gonna blow your mind but if you both work you don’t need to work such INSANE hours

mcove97 · 2022-04-20T22:26:42+00:00

Guess I'm not most women, cause 75K damn that's a lot. I used to be a golddigger some years ago, and then I learnt the harsh lesson that people who are rich and wealthy often are rich and wealthy cause they spend all their time working, which means they ain't got much time for you.

That man will work minimum 40 hours, 55 if he wants to be considered for a promotion which you probably want him to be.

I'd rather a man work part time like me so we can enjoy our lives together and go on adventures and you know, actually spend time together.

You will want the kids in a good school district and a big house with a yard

Don't want kids. Too expensive and an unwanted responsibility imo.

That puts you in the suburbs in most metropolitan areas so atleast 45 minute commute one way. (7.5 hour a weeks driving)

Ew sounds bad. I've been commuting aka driving 45 mins to work everyday and hell no I don't aspire that to be my future. I way preferred a 5 minute walk to work.

1 hour a day to get ready for work. (5 h)

Don't really have a choice. This is normal.

Plus you want him fit so gym(3 h)

Not necessarily. He can get fit from the job he does but I hate the gym and think it's a waste of time.

He needs 8 hours of sleep (56h)

We all do (mostly).

He needs to be an involved father (2 hours a day dinner & playtime or homework (14 hour))

Not if you don't have kids.. life hack I'm telling ya

Yard work / home maintenance = 4 hour

Don't have a yard and have a small home.

Kids long distance activities & trips =4 hour

Don't have kids.

He has to help with some chores around the house (6 hour a week)

Robot vacummers. Washing machines, drying machines for clothes, dish washing machine..

4 hours of social time so people don't think he is wierd.

Who gives a fuck? I'm weird. Solution: DGAF. Those who mind don't matter and those who matter dont mind.

10% fluff because there are random slowdowns throughout the week especially with kids.

No kids then.

That 165 hours a week, a week is 168 hours. A productive family man has 3 hours to himself a week and you ladies want 15 hours for him to woo you into a 25 minute activity.

Guess I'm one of the few ladies who is realistic and logical.

So when you ladies say: "He needs to make time" you sound ridiculous.( You can't make time anyways It's a stupid phrase all around)

He only needs to make more time if he promises to do so. It's about priorities but you can't have it both ways. Either he makes time for you and not time for work and making money or he makes time for work and making money instead of you. Can't have your cake and eat it too I learned as I dated a rich guy who only had time for work and not me which is why I no longer want to date rich guys. They're too busy to have time for you anyway and only care about working and /or hoarding money.

How about you negotiate his 25 minutes for your hour of attention and give the man his 1.5 hours of peace a week.

Agree. It don't add up.

Or you can go mess with one of these "you pay this time" text wizard, always in between jobs F*boy. They got 15 hours.

There's other guys than that.

Ladies understand what you are asking from highly productive men instead of just constantly complaining about them

Im one of the few that do, which is why I'm looking for a guy who only works to provide for himself and the basics he needs and has lots of time for me cause he's not busy collecting money's.

richard_golbes · 2022-04-20T22:53:27+00:00

Your list is not what people "in general" aspire to; it's what a small segment of UMC people think is normal.

I know it's reddit, but think outside your bubble a bit. It reminds me of the kids who will come on here and write long-form essays about how they hate that they are "low IQ" because they struggled to pass the mathematics courses for their engineering degree. lol...

goatismycopilot · 2022-04-20T23:20:39+00:00

PPD skews UMC. Most men are not making 75K a year and are not on a career trajectory. I understand everybody here is in tech or medicine or whatever and making 300K but that is not how it actually is.

Stunning-Potato-1984 · 2022-04-21T04:45:01+00:00

A man making 220k. Works from home. Takes meetings while playing videogames. Sometimes he goes on business trips but always keeps it short to come home to you sooner.

You hire lawn maintenance. You also order takeout all the time. Have no kids.

Also work from home. Fuck and drink cocktails in the middle of the work day.

How much time does a highly productive man actually have to give me? A lot actually.

ogsimpology · 2022-04-21T05:37:58+00:00

If you wanted to, you'd make time for her.

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LittleDragonMaiden · 2022-04-20T20:19:01+00:00

My husband is a surgical oncologist so naturally he is very busy. He does his best to pay attention to me at least once a week but even when he’s home he’s either still working a bit or sleeping due to fatigue. It’s not unusual for him to end up sleeping at his workplace due to how packed his schedule is. If he’s not sleeping and at home, I might get 20 mins with him. I will also see him for a bit to drop off lunch, he’s not always available to pick up his lunch though.

The reality of dating high earning men is that they are not very available.

stats135 · 2022-04-20T20:33:15+00:00

This is why we generally breakdown men into alphas and betas. The mythical AlphaBux is unachievable for all except the top percent of men.

2022-04-20T23:09:22+00:00

Thankfully my family considers bonding/sexy time an important part of a healthy marriage so it's understood that other relatives (usually grandparents) will step in to watch the kids on a regular basis if needed.

There is also a very strong chance that I will be the breadwinner so I don't expect my spouse to work or make that much each week. I just want him to do the work that fulfills him, or be a SAHD if he's more suited for that.

daddysgotanew · 2022-04-20T23:56:03+00:00

Lol 55 hours is nothing. Like part-time shit in my world. And I make 75K. You ain’t buying a nice house with that kind of money. Need at least 120K+ where I live before you can even consider that level of craziness in this market.

Remarkable_Ad_2469 · 2022-04-21T07:59:45+00:00

If you don't want to be married just say you don't want to be married, but don't expect people to get married and feel lonely in the relationship an be happy about it.

wineandchillax · 2022-04-21T11:47:23+00:00

My experience dating high earners is they don’t have a lot of time to spend with you. Some women can handle it, a lot of women can’t.

bluestjuice · 2022-04-22T16:51:27+00:00

I mean, I totally get off on these kinds of math crunching questions but there are so many places to quibble with the specifics here that you can’t really make sweeping generalizations. Anyway, squeezing in an hour or two a week for enjoyable sex seems doable.

Lateralanouncer · 2022-04-20T20:51:16+00:00

The female calculation to feel Equal = mine x 150%. Rollo has stats to back it up. I couldn't find them if some has them can you reply with link.

neolib-cowboy · 2022-04-21T06:57:51+00:00

First off, don't be needy. Second of all, don't be full of yourself, aka be respectful and don't be rude. Give her just as much attention as she deserves and as the situation requires.

Use the push and pull method. Spend a lot of time with her, and then be distant for a little bit. Create the illusion that you don't need her to be happy, or, actually make that a reality, that you don't need her. We chase after things we can't have.

Give her just enough attention to keep her hooked, but not enough so that it seems like you're desperate. A lot of this is stuff you will have to judge based on the situation. If she is highly attracted to you and wants to be with you a lot, I see no problem with you hanging out with her a lot. If she is a little flakey, you can be a little flakey too. Never try to force a relationship to happen. Never try to need her more than she needs you. Never be the one always planning dates and going out. If she is never taking the initiative to be with you, then it is highly likely she isn't that into you.

Never be too available. Don't be willing to drop your plans on the fly, but make an effort to spend time with her and get an opening. Don't drop everything to go hang out with her, tell her you are busy at work and plan a day. It depends on every woman. Some women are clingy and want to be around you 24/7. These are probably not the best GF material. It will depend on the woman. There is no iron rule except to make a decision based on the situation.

Title	How much time does a highly productive man actually have to give you?
Author	Rough_Collections
Upvotes	0
Comments	95
Date	April 20, 2022 7:55 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/u84z9k/how_much_time_does_a_highly_productive_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/how-much-time-does-a-highly-productive-man.1111846 https://theredarchive.com/post/1111846

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