Men and ROMCOMS

hyperrreal · 2016-12-08T19:54:12+00:00

The OP has tagged this as a question for men only. As a result several top-level responses from women have been removed. Comments not from men should be posted in the automod section.

drok007 · 2016-12-08T17:07:06+00:00

They tend to be the list of acceptable date movies that are pushed by mainstream. Like this is what you watch with women because they won't watch kung fu movies with you.

Atlas_B_Shruggin · 2016-12-08T16:58:37+00:00

I'm a man. I'll watch romcoms if my partner wants to and I tend enjoy them, but I don't really seek them out. They're just not my genre.

I do, however, become abrasive to the idea that there are certain movies I am "supposed" to enjoy because they are masculine. I like the movies you mentioned because they are good movies, not necessarily because they are manly. I also do not like the idea that there are movies that I am not supposed to like because they are "unmanly." I view that only as a way for my partner to control my behavior because I just happened to be born with a penis.

MarriedLifter · 2016-12-08T17:26:06+00:00

are young men watching romcoms?

No. I'll happily read urban fantasy romances, where shit gets blown up and ass gets kicked, and then everybody falls madly in love and has excessively graphic sex. I like a good happily ever after. It's sweet. But the guys in these novels are never doormats. Even the beta heroes could go toe-to-toe with James Bond.

But actual romcom films? Some of them actually creep me out. The male leads tend to be such awkward stalkers, you know? Or everybody involved is just pathologically terrible at communication and I spend the whole movie in a state of cringe.

But I'm happy to compromise on Outlander. Jamie kicks a reasonably acceptable amount of ass when he's not standing around and looking tortured and pretty.

But there aren't enough good date movies these days. Whatever happened to films like Top Gun, anyway?

[deleted] · 2016-12-08T18:16:39+00:00

When I did military service (Germany) we used the TV in our barracks room (6 beds, 4 occupied) almost exclusively to watch telenovelas.

Not sure why, wasn't my idea but I also never protested it.

edit: Some considerations:

We didn't feel like we had anything to prove that would have prevented us from watching women's TV. Our high self-esteem had no basis whatsoever in any actions of our own but we sure felt superior to pretty much everyone other than mountaineers, paratroopers and special forces.
We were lonely. Of course we could visit home on most weekends (if we wanted to) but not one of us 4 was in a relationship.
The most senior of us (who as such was officially responsible for the room) was kinda proto-MGTOW:
He enrolled for further service after the compulsory 9 months in large part due to his girlfriend having cheated on him, viewed all women as deceitful and inherently disloyal, had a super soldier thing going on when I first arrived (which manifested in him doing track & field runs after hours with filled water bottles in his backpack, also got stellar evaluations in general) that - after he had predictably ruined his back - turned into an equally intense obsession with WoW (together with some NCOs he had arranged for internet access to one of their rooms which they then shared over a wireless network that G2 & S6 were blissfully ignorant of) and he thought that The 48 Laws of Power was the greatest book ever written.
Maybe OP has a point.

[deleted] · 2016-12-08T17:19:31+00:00

men watch predator and terminator and goodfellas and apocalypse now.

Hell, yeah! Predator and Terminator...two of the defining movies of my teenage years.

Yes, these are the movies I like. Riddick, Blade, Starship Troopers, The Raid, Dredd...

Action where I have no need to have a resemblance of an attention span.

I did watch romcoms with girlfriends occasionally, though. But never alone.

It has changed a bit after about age 27-28. I love Pixar/Disney animation stuff now, too, and sometimes I watch stuff that requires me to pay attention or even think. My brother forces me sometimes to watch brainy things. And I like it actually.

Oh and at about age 33 I started watching HIMYM. I would have never watched stuff like this before.

Still I prefer testosterone based movies over any other kind of movie

would you say it is common for men the generation below me to watch romcoms, or is this canned TRP cant "look whats in romcoms!!!" thats not based on the actual male experience?

The early 20 guys I know seem to be watching action movies, too, but they do watch HIMYM.

EDIT: Oh and btw, the alphaest guy I know, an actual plate spinning steroid Chad (about age 39) hates action movies. He like documentaries and sentimental/romantic movies that make him cry.

We decided to go to the movies together but couldn't agree on the movie we were going to see. So we never made it. XD

bsievers · 2016-12-08T17:44:13+00:00

Depends in what you consider a RomCom. Is it a romance movie showing the entering and/or growth of two people in a romantic relationship, where you also laugh a good handful of times?

I can't stand a lot of the garbage formulaic romcoms coming out, but I'll definitely watch High Fidelity alone over and over. Or Serendipity. (Also non-John Cusack movies, but once I thought of High Fidelity, I'm having a hard time thinking of others.)

Is "Wristcutters" RomCom? Eternal Sunshine? Deadpool? Fight Club?

yetieater · 2016-12-08T17:56:16+00:00

I think they are or at least the teen movies where a nerd gets the girl in the end, I've argued about the usefulness of them with a couple of younger guys. It's insane, like watching an action film to learn military tactics.

CovenantoftheSun · 2016-12-08T18:27:02+00:00

I saw one with Matthew Mcconaughey several years back I really enjoyed called How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, I think that's what it was called.

Very funny, prime movie, definitely recommend it to anyone. I didn't watch it to learn how to pick up chicks, its not an instruction manual at all. Then again, Predator is not an instruction manual either, although the movie is so beloved to me I have a limited edition poster of it on my wall.

I don't seek out rom coms, I haven't seen one in years, but I don't need to posture over the internet and pretend that How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days isn't super hilarious.

So, obviously, if there are two movie choices one is a romcom and the other one is even a mediocre action flick, I'll take the action because mindless, stupid, unbelievable special effects and choreography is FUN as opposed to poorly scripted, poorly executed weird teenage girl fantasy on screen, ew, yucky. Gimme that weird teenage boy fantasy of how impossibly cool and badass war is; Rather. I enjoy it.

Seriously, though. If you haven't watched How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days, go watch it now. Its a great movie.

Apexk9 · 2016-12-08T19:17:57+00:00

Love actually was bomb.

SilentLurker666 · 2016-12-08T19:37:25+00:00

Watched "Sleepless in Seattle", "My girl", "Pretty women", "While you are Sleeping"

as a family thing when I was a kid.

Also during the teen years: "There's something about Mary", "The 40 year on Virgin", ""American Pie", "Sorority boys" (on my first date), "Deuce Bigalow"

these romcoms are not instruction manuals for boys you know

Sure, disney movies isn't instructions for how women are supposed to act these days.. doesn't stop the current day women thou.

In fact the very statement is ironic because that's saying that social media shouldn't have any effect on us... especially in our young adolescent minds. Yet when mass shooting occurs everyone blame video games for inciting violence.

men, why are you watching girl movies?

Why we watched movies at all... entertainment?

gasparddelanuit · 2016-12-08T18:14:28+00:00

The same premises and values that exist in romcoms, regarding romantic relationships between men and women, exist in all other genres coming out of Hollywood too and permeate the entire culture via all other art forms and media. Romcoms simply represent a concentration of these values and premises in celluloid form, but they are by no means the only outlet.

The biggest impact of romcoms is on women, since they are the biggest and the target audience. Women's modern romantic expectations are largely created by the cultural messages that they absorb from creations like romcoms. This naturally will have an impact on how men are expected to behave and how they do behave. Clearly, the elevated expectations caused by the idealised nature of these efforts mean that men simply cannot meet these expectactions and many women are disappointed with their relationships.

I'm sure that you yourself have been influenced by the romantic delusions created by this kind of emotional programming and it will certainly have influenced your husband to some degree, from childhood with the likes of Disney and into adulthood with more adult fare.

This is created by an entire culture, not simply romcoms.

ThorLives · 2016-12-08T19:13:44+00:00

I don't sit down and watch RomComs by myself (to be fair, I very rarely watch movies at all by myself), but I've seen plenty of them with other people. Honestly, I don't know what you're talking about since you act like men have to watch testosterone-fueled action movies all the time.

men watch predator and terminator and goodfellas and apocalypse now.

No, there are plenty of other movies to watch. Personally, those types of movies get a little old after a while because they're predictable. The stuff I've watched lately: Stranger Things, Black Mirror, Rick and Morty - none of which are RomCom or action movies.

[deleted] · 2016-12-08T20:07:03+00:00

I'm a man. Don't care about either genre; one's boring, the other makes all sorts of assumptions about how relationships work that are too inapplicable to my own life for the characters to be relatable.

I'd suspect that redpillers watch romcoms at a higher rate than the general population, honestly. They're the only people I ever hear talking about them.

[deleted] · 2016-12-08T23:22:22+00:00

I love romcoms. I'm also feminized as fuck though

DashneDK2 · 2016-12-09T00:38:06+00:00

I kinda liked 4 weddings and a funeral and also the first Bridget Jones movie. I mean it's not something I'd watch alone, but I wasn't bored out of my skull either, or like the Sex and the City and The Bridges of Madison County movies I saw in the cinema where I wanted to kill myself.

[deleted] · 2016-12-08T18:19:46+00:00

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DucksCanDance · 2016-12-08T17:04:12+00:00

When I was growing up I knew the women generally liked rom coms but I did not understand it at all, I liked movies that were more action/adventure and comedy.

My guess would be that lots of guys grew up in female-dominated households so they ended up watching whatever their mom or sisters put on

louplop · 2016-12-08T17:04:38+00:00

Only to please my partner. However I know I can be a terrible bf in this aspect since I can't stop but making fun of this kind of movie and saying out loud how I find them stupid while watching them :$

DarkLord0chinChin · 2016-12-08T17:07:08+00:00

I don't watch romcoms, there's not enough alpha competition in them

wub1234 · 2016-12-08T18:08:03+00:00

I hate romantic comedies apart from Groundhog Day, which I love, but the romantic element is the least interesting aspect of the film.

There are some films I like that have a romantic element. Amelie, for example. I don't mind if there is a love story element, but films that entirely revolve around whether or not two people get together are quite formulaic and naff.

I like very few movies, let alone romantic comedies, although Terminator and Goodfellas are among the ones that I do like.

TW_CountryMusic · 2016-12-08T18:43:42+00:00

Never, don't mind chick flicks though

Don't watch gay SitComs such as How I Met Your Mother, Friends or Two and a Half Men either. My favourite American TV shows are Seinfeld and CYE.

ThirdEyeSqueegeed · 2016-12-08T19:08:14+00:00

Between porn and video games, young men have no time for rom-coms.

[deleted] · 2016-12-08T19:08:15+00:00

Never watched romcoms. Don't watch any movies anymore

[deleted] · 2016-12-08T19:17:25+00:00

I've watched a few in my time, but only because I've had a lot of girl friends. The thing about romcoms that bothers me the most is I think they are bar none the most trope filled, go by the script, easy to predict movies to exist. Every time I have ever watched a romcom it's like going down a checklist. Okay now this happens, now this happens, then this, insert cliche romcom trope #13 here, and done.

[deleted] · 2016-12-08T19:20:37+00:00

I physically can not watch a romantic comedy. My mind refuses to interpret the sensory input. Same with advertisements and alternative music.

muhsexualeconomy · 2016-12-08T20:40:02+00:00

Does Crazy, Stupid Love count as a RomCom? Hands down one of my favorite movies of all time.

[deleted] · 2016-12-08T20:42:33+00:00

The only time I ever watch these movies is if the SO I am with wants to watch them. I was married for 10 years and I have seen way too many of these. On the other hand, I got to introduce my ex to a TON of bad ass guy movies along the way. Not surprisingly she liked quite a few of them.

Luckily my current SO has no interest in romcoms so I haven't seen one in a long time.

cxj · 2016-12-08T20:49:36+00:00

Does High Fidelity count as a romantic comedy? I said I liked it on a music blog years ago and multiple dudes were like "not tr00 rom com!" With detailed arguments why lolol.

Love high fidelity, the posters in the store have some of my favorite bands lol.

LUClEN · 2016-12-08T23:37:55+00:00

Last Rom Com I saw was "I Love you Man", and that's more so about bromance than romance. I saw it not out of choice but due to the company I was with (Family outing).

I don't think the average guy goes out of his way to watch them. Social pressures push him into such situations

EDIT: If sausage party counts then that's actually the last rom com I saw. I was on a date though so the conclusion still stands.

[deleted] · 2016-12-09T00:31:15+00:00

are young men watching romcoms?

Unless their girlfriend forces them to, no. And even then he's probably more interested in fondling said gf than actually watching the movie.

would you say it is common for men the generation below me to watch romcoms

Not at all, we watch many more comic based movies than your generation did at our age, but as you know Atlas many comic characters are hardly beta. Except Spiderman.

alreadyredschool · 2016-12-09T00:34:33+00:00

Along Came Polly... that guy said that a man post orgasms is the best because of some beta bullshit.

It's no rom com but I would probably call it one since that comes as closely to one as possible from the movies I watched.

machimus · 2016-12-09T01:32:23+00:00

For me, I sucked it up and watched some with girls. It's not completely miserable because it gives good insight into the ideas women are getting in their heads.

Except Love Actually, I liked that one, no idea why.

Candy_Kittens · 2016-12-09T02:26:19+00:00

I don't watch rom-coms. Mainly because they are so poorly written as to not be worth my time.

[deleted] · 2016-12-09T05:40:54+00:00

I love romcoms.

They're just as silly as action films, but at times they can point to enlightening differences between the genders which is why I find them more fascinating than the regular shlock.

pitaenigma · 2016-12-09T10:23:38+00:00

Some. Forgetting Sarah Marshall is a romcom very much aimed at men, for instance.

Entropy-7 · 2016-12-09T11:02:21+00:00

I don't drink alcohol in public and I don't watch romcoms with anyone else present. It is my dirty, little secret. It could only be worse if I was a Bronie! Fuck you all to hell Nia Vardalos and your Big Fat Greek Wedding! You are a sellout! It happened in Winnipeg, not Chicago!

I watched WALL-E with a female friend a few years ago and half way in she asks "Are you crying?"

"NO!" [sniff]

But I Big Bang Theory because I like the nerd humour, but after so many seasons it is getting tiresome.

Entropy-7 · 2016-12-09T11:08:50+00:00

As a side point, when I was a law student I helped out a guy making a feature film as his masters thesis. He asked me what type of movies I liked and why and I told him "Action, because I have low expectations and most movies suck, but at least if they suck, some things blow up real good." You have to consider that he and I are intelligent and well educated and this response took him aback but after thinking about it a moment he could sort of see my perspective. Sturgeon's Law, before I knew the name of it.

sse23 · 2016-12-09T12:27:04+00:00

I watched a lot of them, because I grew up living with my mom and sister and only one tv.

Needless to say, I got my own tv as soon as I could. I think they are all cringy and bad. With very little funny stuff to ease the pain.

GaiusScaevolus · 2016-12-09T15:04:43+00:00

Romantic comedies are hard to avoid. Unless you have a great HBO package, your ability to find "predator and terminator and goodfellas and apocalypse now." is fairly limited.
Rom/coms are an extreme example of the media trend. HIMYM, Friends, Big Bang Theory, virtual every sitcom or TV show about young adults portrays the same idealistic, BP bullsh*t.

Dissentient · 2016-12-09T15:05:28+00:00

I don't watch movies at all, partly because I have never seen a movie that I strongly liked, and partly because I find 90-120 minutes to be insufficient to deliver a decent story in general.

[deleted] · 2016-12-09T16:19:32+00:00

I'm 28 years old. Do I still count as a young man? I love romcoms. Baked in Brooklyn, The Lobster, Sleeping with other people, All roads lead to Rome, Love Rosie, Man Up, The Duff, Aloha, Playing it cool, trainwreck, About Last Night, That Awkward Moment, Obvious Child, Sex Tape, Walk of Shame, and so many others.

OMG now I want to see another romantic comedy.

men, why are you watching girl movies?

Because its so adorable. The idea of a chad being a bumbling fool with girls makes me feel better with myself. if a guy like this fucks up with girls then I can cut myself some slack :)

OH YEAH

my favorite romantic comedy movies are:

Barefoot, Silver Linings, 500 days of summer! Scott Pilgrim and lastly the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind such a romantic and sweet movie T_T

I love the actors in those two movies, so pretty and they have such cute chemistry going on together :) I end up watching the movies hoping the people in it will hook-up in real life, tehehehe.

[deleted] · 2016-12-09T21:11:53+00:00

Romcoms suck, it's like if I read a romance novel. I do like some "kids movies" though.

despisedlove2 · 2016-12-10T06:58:09+00:00

Romcoms are movies you endure to please your girl. Most men would prefer a bullet in the head if asked otherwise.

Title	Men and ROMCOMS
Author	Atlas_B_Shruggin
Upvotes	10
Comments	168
Date	December 8, 2016 4:55 PM UTC (9 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/5h800c/men_and_romcoms/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/men-and-romcoms.271397 https://theredarchive.com/post/271397