Nice guy (beta) vs. bad boy (Chad) is the wrong distinction. It's the exciting guy vs. the boring guy.

TheJim66 · 2020-12-16T15:36:28+00:00

Uppercuts must be really exciting to women then.

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/cux0dm/discussion_research_finds_that_women_do_not/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share

https://citeseerx.ist.psu.edu/viewdoc/summary?doi=10.1.1.650.5749

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/283732665_How_Alluring_Are_Dark_Personalities_The_Dark_Triad_and_Attractiveness_in_Speed_Dating

https://www.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/hhj5o2/Weekly_Community_Chat_Megathread_%2828_June_2020%29/fwc9jp8/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3

RepresentativeSwan1 · 2020-12-16T15:50:39+00:00

LOL @ pretending personality has a huge effect on women's attraction to a man either way.

Bandit174 · 2020-12-16T16:17:44+00:00

Excitement matters but its mostly appearance imo. Women like guys who are attractive and exciting and overlook or fail to notice the fact he is an asshole. The halo effect is a documented bias in which we tend to perceive the personality traits of attractive people more favorably than we otherwise would so it's quite possible that women don't even perceive his negative qualities as being an asshole.

Nice guys are generally less attractive and more boring. They are also more prone to bitterness/resentment over seeing guys who cheat, lie, and manipulate girls repeatedly choosen over them and since they are not attractive their negative personality traits are amplified rather than overlooked.

Hoopy223 · 2020-12-16T16:10:30+00:00

BS. I’ve known plenty of guys who would qualify as “Chad” or whatever other stupid term Redditors come up with and they were just as boring as any other guy. Only real difference was looks and effort. They’d spend a lot of time at the gym and flirt with every girl in sight.

geometersbane · 2020-12-16T16:36:58+00:00

Yep. They are allergic to peace and stability. The biggest factor is their inability to internalize their emotions.

Clay_is · 2020-12-16T17:25:23+00:00

Women love badboys . They will have sex with criminals ,druggies and end up as single mothers. They never cared for the nice guy in their youth . Nice guys always finish last.

no_value_male · 2020-12-16T17:06:08+00:00

Bullshit. Women are highly attracted to criminals because violence turns them on. Beating another guy up is the ultimate display of dominance. Women want to be fucked by the winner.

TwoFirmFeet · 2020-12-16T16:17:08+00:00

male here. i agree but id like to add something else

theres plenty of movies (based off real life emotions which is why women like them so much) that have the pauper woe the rich young lady and the young lady leaves her rich fiance for the poor, bad boy. Exciting vs boring.

BUT, 10 times out of 10, that pauper is GORGEOUS AND NATURALLY TALENTED. its not that women like excitement, its simply that they LOVE chad and chad exists in many different social classes but the thing they have in common is that they have innate/rare characteristics. There are plenty other paupers/thugs in his friend groups that do not have love interests and thats because they aren't gorgeous like their chad counterpart. no one is interested in those bad boys.

ultimately, it does add up to chad vs beta. kinda. women can find attraction in "beta" men but they will inevitably fall prey to chad men. men and women that arent chad or stacey can find solace by forming relationships that closely imitate chad and stacey but that relationship will end if a chad enters that womans life in a significant way IE hypergamy. thats just how the game works.

NinjaOfTheSouth · 2020-12-16T15:27:51+00:00

Well not really, those are the same people just different descriptions. Nice guys are boring and typically try to be PC on how they act and be safe as possible. Bad boy isn’t gonna give af and just do what he wants, thus leading to do doing fun stuff. It correlates

wtknight · 2020-12-16T15:51:26+00:00

Simplest of which - be very sexually direct. It rocks the boat... thus, does the job.

Or it's creepy, depending upon the attractiveness and the charisma of the guy doing it.

There are better ways of being interesting and exciting than immediately discussing sex, although some women probably won't mind it if they're already somewhat attracted to the guy. But besides your view about how a man should go about being exciting, I agree that many women don't really want "bad boys" and want guys who are fun and exciting in safer ways.

Ltrfsn · 2020-12-16T18:22:01+00:00

Guys always forget women aren't that different. Guys always forget women are just as fucking stupid as they are, just in a different way. Oh exciting guy is a fucking criminal and beats me to a bloody pulp every week? BuT i CaN cHaNgE hIm!

tiposk · 2020-12-16T15:48:46+00:00

[deleted]

OG_walrus · 2020-12-16T16:58:19+00:00

You're right but also you are a bit wrong in that it isn't crime that makes them attractive. Crime itself don't make them attractive, but them being able to be dangerous and bad is what is attractive. Being exciting is also attractive.

For example a guy that steals credit card numbers online behind his computer won't slay models because on that. What does is someone doing something physically risky and aggressive, that would make him more attractive to women.

But don't do crimes dudes, do extreme sports.

NoRoperino · 2020-12-16T19:58:06+00:00

arguing that women are attracted to criminals and shit. It's not about that.

Negativity and criminal activities are bound to rock the boat. Thus it's interesting and exciting.

I want some of that marijuana, son.

DLifts777 · 2020-12-16T20:13:42+00:00

There’s a reason why guys with tats, shaved heads, big muscles, idgaf attitude, chains etc do the best with women. It screams bad boy and women love it. Be as interesting as you want, if you look like a good boy most women will ignore you as they’ll assume you’re not interesting.

RandomUsernameSkrrrt · 2020-12-17T02:11:27+00:00

I've known women who love 'bad boys,' BDSM, and general mistreatment, and I think I've identified why.

A critical, almost desperate, need for validation.

Everyone knows a victory hard-won is so much more satisfying, approval from critical people more meaningful, commodities of scarcity more valuable... A 'bad boy' is simply a person with more barriers, and these barriers exist as an exciting obstacle to overcome for a woman's own ego. That's the whole fantasy behind "taming the beast." It's rewarding because it's difficult, and because it's difficult it reflects directly on the woman's "specialness." It's not about him; he's but a soundboard, a mirror for themselves. The whole thing is one narcissistic validation, which is why when the beast is alas tamed, they lose interest and move on. He's a project for them ("Let me fix you!"). Note: they do not pay any attention to genuine compatibility or relationship integrity. If they did, they would leave far sooner, because there isn't relationship integrity with a criminal. No, it's all about validation, and such an ego-centric mentality exists only in highly insecure people, or people who are approval-dependent.

Who are these people typically? People in broken families/with 'daddy issues.' This is why most women obsessed with abusive jerks come from dysfunctional family backgrounds. The same concept follows for BDSM kinks. Desiring toxic, abusive criminals and BDSM is not a mark of healthy sexuality (I don't care if you call that "kink-shaming"), because healthy sexuality actually idealizes intellectual/emotional compatibility and long-term success. An insecure, dysfunctional person will not vet for these things, or desire them, because they were not conditioned with them growing up, nor even believe themselves to be deserving of them in some instances.

A quick side-observation: TheRedPill's game-tactics, such as dread and negging, exclusively filter for women like this - the unhealthy, insecure type reliant on validation. They do not work on any confident, healthy, self-respecting woman. It thus creates a feedback loop of dysfunction, as two insecure people, TRper and plate, try to cultivate a relationship off the foundation of codependent narcissistic self-evaluation. I digress, though.

In my own experience, I grew up in an amazingly stable, loving family with strong work ethic and interfamilial diplomacy. I have never, and I mean NEVER, desired criminals or messed-up bad boys. Complete and utter turn off. There's a knee-jerk repulsion/indignation associated with the notion, the same feeling of being flagrantly disrespected. Same for BDSM/sexual degradation. I'm actually pissed at how many times guys have assumed that desire in me because I'm a woman. Literally every sexual encounter I've had the guys referenced something to that nature: asking to be called 'Master,' hinting at choking/slapping/hair-pulling, or calling me a sex-slave/whore/personal slut. I left all of those interactions faster than you can say "therapy needed." Like, what the actual hell? How is that supposed to be sexy? It's cringey at best and extremely disrespectful at worst. You know what's sexy? Now, here me out, as foreign and esoteric as this may seem: L-O-V-E. Still waiting for the day I find someone who wants to call me "my dear" rather than "my-personal-sex-slave-waste-of-space-whore-bitch." High standards, I know.

Anyway, I decided it simply comes down to self-respect and self-love. If you don't have those two things, you're going to be attracted to mistreatment/outlets of validation. If you do, your autonomy will be whole and sufficient. Considering over half of marriages fail resulting in broken households for many, it is no surprise there's a validation crisis, proven even further by the prevalence of social media.

tickledpic · 2020-12-16T20:00:14+00:00

[deleted]

BringTheFingerBack · 2020-12-16T21:36:44+00:00

Sexually direct in 2020 will probably get you a life time subscription to the sex offenders list.

kweebia · 2020-12-16T22:05:00+00:00

In the #MeToo era this is probably the worst advice I have ever heard. Sure guys voluntarily give the girl a way to get you fired if you break up. And women, men are not your entertainment director. If you are bored you are the boring person. The truth that you are burying, is that the person that cares the least wins. Quit chasing women, it's like a dog chasing a car, you aren't going to like it when you catch it. Go your own way only add women to your life if they compliment your life if they don't forget it. Stay away from marrying and co-habitation. You want to keep it exciting for them, don't spend a lot of time with them, and don't let them know where you are all the time.

neubs · 2020-12-16T15:37:54+00:00

be very sexually direct

I tried just asking women if they wanted to fuck as a pickup line as sort of a hail mary pass. Didn't work for me. However my Chad coworker at the time did this and it worked out for him.

Mustbeaight · 2020-12-16T18:32:25+00:00

You just said the same exact thing

jintana · 2020-12-16T18:44:13+00:00

What is a flactuation? Do you mean fluctuation? Like the thing women are accused of suffering to excess? That’s what we “want” in men?

No, we don’t want boring or “nice” guys. “Nice” isn’t equal to “kind.” “Nice” has an ulterior motive.

“Nice” reveals its true crazy once he “gets the girl.” “Kind” wants an honest relationship. “Chad” wants a good lay.

Yes, sexually direct is infinitely better than sexually inept, which is usually what we get with “nice.”

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Sufficient-Ad-3586 · 2020-12-16T21:25:37+00:00

I feel it’s due to age.

When you’re young (14-24) people often are rebellious, especially teenagers. Those who defy authority and do risky stuff are seen as badass and alpha cause they aren’t afraid of consequences. However, what makes you cool as a teen makes you a loser as an adult. No one is going to think you’re cool if you’re 28 and skimping out on jobs and doing drugs.

That said, I have seen many absolute dumbfuck women chase after men who are not good for them, even worse, some of them reproduced with said men who from a mile away was obvious they weren’t going to stick around. These women usually have issues at home like not having a father present in their life.

Odd-Mistake2761 · 2020-12-17T05:17:28+00:00

could what is considered exciting/boring be subjective? I doubt the majority of women are interested in associating with criminals. are there other interpretations of chads v. betas?

classicliberal1 · 2020-12-18T00:41:23+00:00

It's the exciting guy vs. the boring guy.

The bad boys that women go for are boring and have nothing interesting to say because there is nothing inside their head. Meanwhile, the nice scientifically literate man can show women the majesty of the universe, and the women care not one bit.

But there are plenty of ways to be exciting. Simplest of which - be very sexually direct. It rocks the boat... thus, does the job.

The guy with model looks or high socioeconomic status can be direct, indirect, or awkward and will get laid. The direct man who is short, ugly, or low status is considered a creep. It's not the approach, but looks and status. It's that simple.

The fact is that most men, and most women, are within a single standard deviation of average. For women, that's like winning the genetic lottery. For men, it's being destined to be an average frustrated chump unless he makes a lot of money, but the later requires much work and opens him to attack from gold diggers.

East-Panda9284 · 2020-12-23T01:48:35+00:00

I don't think personality matters in attraction as much as we wish it did, lol.

I know socially-inept guys who are "swimming in it", but who cares? Life isn't fair. I'll happily be the funny guy who might not get laid than the vapid chad who gets multiple partners.

Mkg102216 · 2020-12-23T10:56:06+00:00

The thing is the good guy may be boring but he's stable and you can turn him into an interesting guy.

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Title	Nice guy (beta) vs. bad boy (Chad) is the wrong distinction. It's the exciting guy vs. the boring guy.
Author	tickledpic
Upvotes	52
Comments	125
Date	December 16, 2020 3:11 PM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/keaxf6/nice_guy_beta_vs_bad_boy_chad_is_the_wrong/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/nice-guy-beta-vs-bad-boy-chad-is-the-wrong.735998 https://theredarchive.com/post/735998

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