Solve dating problems mainly through culture/society, or mainly through politics/laws ?

Routine-Present-3676 · 2026-05-06T00:32:20+00:00

No government has any business legislating people's dating lives. The fuck even is this question?

lesliecarbone · 2026-05-06T00:29:54+00:00

There is nothing in the government's track record giving me any confidence that for it "to step in and set laws in place to guide societal arrangements for the better of the country" would not make matters worse.

Outside_Memory5703 · 2026-05-05T23:43:23+00:00

I’d be interested to see what a UBI/guaranteed housing and food would do

Solondthewookiee · 2026-05-06T00:14:30+00:00

What exactly needs to be "solved?"

If people want to be together, absolutely nothing is stopping them. If they don't, nothing is forcing them.

Direct-Tower6314 · 2026-05-06T00:53:25+00:00

neither, it should be up to people to navigate choppy waters and figure out a new social contract between men and women rather than choreographed indoctrination or state force

i do think there are indirect policy effects that could benefit it - studies show men are happiest in Scandinavian countries, for starters -

But most of it is basically "focus policies on human wellbeing and dating will benefit because that's also part of wellbeing"

preferablyno · 2026-05-06T01:03:49+00:00

I would say it’s better to leave those problems to society and just work on yourself, you can solve the problems for yourself, with the bigger issues you can’t do much.

If you really want to do some kind of activism go for it but if you want meaningful results work on improving your position in the world as it exists

growframe · 2026-05-06T01:34:42+00:00

should people (men and women... just in case for some reason you don't view "people" as pointing to both of them...) be socially conditionned into being more fit for dating, or is it better for government to step in and set laws in place to guide societal arrangements for the better of the country ?

Neither. People should date who they want.

Fondacey · 2026-05-06T07:19:46+00:00

SERIOUS QUESTION: why in the world would we legislate dating?

torytho · 2026-05-06T00:02:20+00:00

Laws need to serve as guard rails for culture and society. And government can model good behavior with its own cultural footprint, like PBS. But culture will always act on its own and reject containment. Instead we should promote good media literacy and elevate voices that are constructive on this topic. That's all we can do.

love_in_october · 2026-05-06T06:38:35+00:00

It's really not any government's business to decide what kind of relationships are good "for the better of the country", not that any government-run initiative anywhere to try to create relationships has worked afaik. Anything other than leaving it to culture and society seems pretty dystopian to me.

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John_Oakman · 2026-05-06T00:06:40+00:00

Laws are manifestations of existing cultures codifying their norms and asserting their supremacy over the nonconforming exceptions. Laws change when the cultures change. Cultures change due to environmental factors, whether they be the introduction of foreign populations or changes in the biosphere itself (increase/decrease of resources).

The will of any particular individual (barring the truly exceptional- but they're certainly exceedingly unlikely to be in this subreddit so irrelevant to the discussion at hand) is the most insignificant of them all, but the aggregate the human will can influence all the other things.

nadirian · 2026-05-06T01:34:09+00:00

They are inextricable concepts. It's not a perfect metaphor, but politics/laws are the platform, culture/society is the content.

State support for independent domestic media production is one of the few interventions that I think actually works to influence what people find attractive or desirable/attainable in a partner, for good or ill.

For example: In the early 2000s, South Korea implemented a state policy to promote South Korean media to a global market. Mostly this looks like subsidies for domestic film/AV production, funds earmarked for arts and English language education, and laws/regulations that favour South Korean creators and companies making content for international distribution.

South Korea's "Hallyu wave" coincides with a measurable increase in white women who say they find Asian men attractive compared to white women 25 years ago. Unsurprisingly, when women are consistently exposed to media where Asian men are presented as attractive protagonists instead of racist sexless caricatures, they find Asian men more sexually attractive!

Of course white women only found Asian men unattractive before because of centuries of cultural "Orientalism" and the legal/political and social history of Asian men in the diaspora. In the 1880s-1940s, Canada and the US both had immigration laws that were explicitly intended to prevent Asian immigrants (specifically single male labourers) from settling permanently and forming families with white women. Is that culture or politics? Chicken or egg? 🤷🏼‍♀️

Jetpine9 · 2026-05-06T03:08:16+00:00

Government in the form of funding for studies perhaps. Like if boys aren't doing well academically in a very significant way, that could be an area of concern. Does that relate to dating? Maybe not directly but the downstream effects are probably there. Or to figure out why dating apps suck and what an alternative could look like. That should at least get a small grant. The President should appoint a dating czar.

Fan_Service_3703 · 2026-05-06T05:03:25+00:00

Extended and equalised maternity/paternity leave: More for folks getting into relationships as adults, but will be beneficial, as couples no longer need to risk losing half their income if they have a child, nor does one parent have to burn themselves and miss bonding with baby and spending time with family.

Free/Affordable childcare for all: Again, this will help insure couples can remain financially secure upon having children and avoid either parent having to work less hours.

Eradicate "influencer" culture: Social media is full of obscenely attractive people with perfect faces, bodies and clothes being paid to promote whatever brands are trying to sell this week. Lets end that. We don't need young people thinking they have failed if they don't look like that and dress like that and present themselves like that. In fact, kill off the entire "famous for being famous" industry. Take shows like Love Island off the air. Normalise average people in average settings again.

"Dating Classes" in school: Impulsive, hormonal teenagers are going to act like impulsive, hormonal teenagers. But these classes give them an understanding of consent and how to approach relationships with empathy, an education many will not get at home. Under strict adult supervision, teenagers to act out roleplays, showing how to ask someone out in a respectful way, how to accept rejection respectfully, how to reject someone in an empathetic way that doesn't degrade them. This can model what is and isn't an appropriate compliment, what are and aren't appropriate times to approach someone etc. We can stop (or at least reduce) creeps becoming creeps.

Youth clubs and meetups: More local events should be organised (with strict adult supervision of course) giving young people more opportunities to just hang out rather than on the internet in their bedrooms or on street corners. My girlfriend's grandparents met as teenagers at a local community dance hall.

Training on exercise and nutrition: Sports classes are all well and good, but for the kids who are less naturally sporty, other kinds of education of exercise, food and health are needed.

Training on hygiene and grooming: Once again, an education many won't get at home, and as a result many feel frozen out of dating as they get older. Bring an artistic element into this, allowing them to experiment with different haircuts, clothing styles, and makeup (for both boys and girls, provided nobody is being made to feel lesser for not using it) allowing them to build a personal "image" for themselves that they feel comfortable in.

Clean up the food that is sold in shops: Not directly related to dating, but the amount of processed, high sugar shit that is sold is contributing to health issues and body image issues which, once again, lead to lots of people feeling frozen out of dating. Healthier foods in shops will help mitigate this.

More life skills training: Everyone, male or female, should be made to learn skills like basic cooking, basic DIY, taxes, financial planning, job searching etc. Nobody should go through life feeling they need to depend on a partner for these things.

MonochromaticPrism · 2026-05-06T05:55:15+00:00

I think "politics" actually, although that's because I don't know where else "education" would fit on this model. The ideal would be for dating education to be normalized instead of stigmatized, and without toxic feminists being shitty about it and getting in the way.

I'm talking basic functional dating advice to men about the importance of the initial "spark" of interest in a relationship and how women want men to act to create such a spark, how to initiate physical contact in a neutral way and gauge interest, various basic methods of implying sexual interest without directly stating it (allowing both parties to brush it off if not reciprocated without risking social conflict), etc.

This would also be beneficial for women. The "spark" would no longer be mythologized and instead be recognized for how it works. This would remove much of the sway that "asshole" men have on getting women as women would be more capable of recognizing how they are responding as not being "magic". Further, it would increase the number of "good" men on the market by giving them the skills to compete within the same spaces as the "bad" men.

This would help reduce the experience of "women get approached by too many men with low emotional intelligence" > "women ask to get fewer approaches and emotionally intelligent men agree" > "same unintelligent men become an ever growing % of men that women meet because they don't care, leading women to believe there is a growing problem with men".

Neverending_Danding · 2026-05-06T07:49:13+00:00

There are no dating problems, so there is nothing to fix. And definitely nothing for government to do

Theawkwardmochi · 2026-05-06T10:03:48+00:00

Solve dating problems mainly through culture/society, or mainly through politics/laws ?

Neither. As far as laws and politics pertaining to people's very private matters are concerned, I don't think it actually needs a comment, but I'll comment anyways - reading a history book on the topic of 20th century dictatorships really helps understand what excessive state control actually leads to and why it's not great at all.

As far as culture/society is involved, you obviously can't change it other than leading by example. And education.

The only thing you can realistically change is yourself, so I would say this is the solution to dating problems.

Axis_Control · 2026-05-06T12:43:18+00:00

The government has no business in dating. Wtf is this. Only things I really support is a baby bonus and better support for parents having babies. As well as consent education and nutrition education at school.

BobtheArcher2018 · 2026-05-06T14:20:38+00:00

We aren't there yet. We are still purging a lot of post-60s political correctness that deranged the conventional narratives on all of this stuff. Women have not really engaged candidly and with rigor as to what the actual issues are. In fact, too many are still stuck on the idea that there is no issue or worse, cannot possibly be an issue because it's individual choice. However those free personal choices add up is how they add up: nothing to be done that wouldn't be worse than just accepting whatever aggregate mating results there are.

If we get better conversations and investigations, then maybe we get a better handle on the issues. In all likelihood, some combination of law and social pressure will be involved in addressing them. The less law you use the better, usually. But the non-legal tool kit of modern nations is now super weak, which is also part of the problem.

Martin_FN22 · 2026-05-06T15:34:34+00:00

Government made fully free dating app + ban on extremist online groups (manosphere, certain feminist communities, incels) + social media for >16 only + removal of gender roles / expectations for both men and woman (true removal, not this half assed thing we have now) + gov subdidized concerts or smt idk

tacticaltossaway · 2026-05-06T16:38:47+00:00

We could easily solve all the problems in dating and economics by democratizing violence back to people.

Or at least bringing back the Outcasting Clause.

Lift_and_Lurk · 2026-05-06T14:36:50+00:00

I don’t know how anyone can look at current events globally and the “leadership” in charge of most things and go “these guys can fix dating”

They can’t even figure out how to open a straight,

FuuraKafu · 2026-05-05T23:37:17+00:00

I guess I lean 80% culture. Government-funded scientifically optimized dating environments would be cool, and prostitution should be legalized. But culture is very important and I guess that comes first to influence the other. And that entails men expressing their difficulties better, new kinds of stories (I'm working on it), and challenging/shaping the currently biased and in some sense close-minded mainstream progressivism.

mikiencolor · 2026-05-05T23:29:38+00:00

I would abolish alimony, day one. Child support would stay, but only enough for the basic needs of a child based on the price of a basket of essentials. No provision whatsoever for "maintaining previous lifestyle."

ladybird_00 · 2026-05-06T01:14:48+00:00

Title	Solve dating problems mainly through culture/society, or mainly through politics/laws ?
Author	Emergency-Sell-6713
Upvotes	4
Comments	92
Date	May 5, 2026 6:52 PM UTC (2 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1t4opej/solve_dating_problems_mainly_through/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/solve-dating-problems-mainly-through.1579690 https://theredarchive.com/post/1579690

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